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Postby bmyhope » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:24 pm

Last edited by bmyhope on Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby scammedhard » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:28 pm

Sorry for your loss. I think that in these cases time is the best medicine. Take some time off and revisit the law school idea in a few years. Law schools will be there for a long time.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby rinkrat19 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:34 pm

Sounds like you are depressed, beyond just normal grief. I would try counseling again, perhaps through a different source (do you have a regular doctor? Ask him/her for a referral). This is not your year to take the LSAT--concentrate on getting back on your feet. You would better serve your mom's memory by applying to law school in tip-top emotional health.

I lost my mom suddenly when I was 22. There's no "correct" way to grieve and everyone has their own way, but the comments you make about being unable to concentrate on everyday tasks point to something more.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby 20121109 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:35 pm

First of all, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Second, because the loss of your mother is still very fresh in your life you owe it to yourself to take the time to heal. I can't imagine losing a parent, so I certainly cannot empathize, but you need to know that studying for the LSAT is a stressful endeavor, that only worsens when you begin your 1L year. I know you have good intentions and you want to move on and forge a happy future, but you need to take some time and just be with those closest to you. Law school is not going anywhere and I think most people will tell you that going into law school in your state would only make for an unhappy, and likely unsuccessful 1L year. Do you still have your father? Maybe you can spend more time with him. How about your friends? I'm sure you can find some solace with them. Take some time to honor your mother's life.

Third, you have a 3.94 GPA. Don't waste that. If you do well on the LSAT, all schools, including HYS, become a viable option.

I wish you the best :)

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby CanadianWolf » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:37 pm

Exercise, helping others & time.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Verity » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:55 pm

I am so sorry, and I can't imagine how hard it would be to go back to focusing on things like this. The time you take to grieve is not wasted, I understand it. I can only hope you find solace in my assurance that you will get into a great law school if you want to. Your GPA is above basically every school's 75th percentile. The LSAT is a challenge, to be sure, but I think that if you did this well in school you'll definitely be able to make it happen on the test day, without question. I wish you so much luck, and if you need any help studying (tips, clarification, strategy, etc.), please feel free to PM me.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby FantasticMrFox » Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:40 am

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:First of all, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Second, because the loss of your mother is still very fresh in your life you owe it to yourself to take the time to heal.
I wish you the best :)

I feel the same as Gaia; I am really sorry for the loss and as someone who've so far been lucky to not lose anyone, I'd also be incredible devastated if one of my parents passed away and it'd affect almost everything I do. However, I do feel time is what you need as well as counseling, as others have suggested.

I do hope you will be able to reach the goal you've wanted for so long and succeed.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby KMaine » Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:43 am

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how much that must hurt. I have no idea what would help, but I would take some time off before I took the LSAT. Even if you did well with the test, you want to be in the right place for 1L. Maybe do some community-service type work for a while. Giving back may help . . . it may not. I sincerely wish you the best. There will come a time when you will be an excellent law student, just give yourself that time.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:54 am

Pretty cool of you to open up to strangers like this on your first post, and as everyone else is saying, I'm sorry too. I have absolutely no clue what you're going through, but I went through minor depression for a bit of high school and can't imagine putting in what the LSAT requires to be done properly. Take this time to grieve and refocus, and when you come back, we, and law school will be there.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby SLS_AMG » Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:55 am

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in high school, though it wasn't sudden or a surprise.

I think you need to take a year or two off and do what makes you happy. After all, that's what life should be all about. Travel, volunteer - it doesn't matter. Just enjoy the time you have on Earth, because you've already learned at a young age how quickly it can be taken from you.

PM me if you want to talk.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Bronte » Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:41 am

Try not to think of it as if you're missing out on a major life opportunity. It's really a bad time to go to law school, given that we're in the midst of the worst legal market in history. You're young, and it's best to take a few years off after undergrad anyway. There's plenty of time to apply to law school.

I would suggest to a doctor that you think you might be experiencing the symptoms of clinical depression. Talk therapy and/or medication could help, but time is probably going to be the principal factor. I'm sorry for your loss.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Horchata » Sun Jun 26, 2011 3:14 am

I feel for ya bud. I couldn't imagine if that happened to me.

One thing that did help me get through a mild depression - although nothing close with what you might be going through - is to focus on and do work. This, among your responsibilities at the Y, could include LSAT prep. Getting your mind to focus on getting to law school and working really hard at it (as you did in undergrad) might help get your mind off of what you're thinking. If your mom was encouraging of you to go to law school, thoughts of her might be able to give you the necessary focus and grit to conquer the LSAT. I know I used memories and hopes of family members who have passed to motivate me for LSAT prep (though, they all passed many years ago). Hope this post helps a bit, especially if you are really wanting to start you legal career.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Bobeo » Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:20 am

CanadianWolf wrote:Exercise, helping others & time.

This seems like good advice. I wouldn't suggest doing something like LSAT studying now.
I am sorry and I hope in time you feel better.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Kronk » Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:05 am

3.94 at Cal is pretty great, so like others said, I wouldn't take the LSAT until you're ready to do it justice. Not only will studying for and taking the LSAT be difficult going through something like that, I can't imagine trying to get through law school with that hanging over you. Particularly the first semester.

I think you need to give counseling a second shot. I thought it didn't work for me either, but for me it was my own desire to be self-sufficient that originally made me so opposed to the idea. After that, I sort of shopped around every couple months and finally found a person that I really liked and connected with and that made all the difference. You might just want to try another counselor / therapist. My therapist gave me really concrete things to do (i.e. "I don't want you to schedule more appointments until you're doing 30-50 minutes of cardio 3-4 times a week", "until you do something spontaneous, cook naked or something!", got be back doing the creative things I did prior to all that, etc.). I would highly recommend it. It's only as helpful as you want it to be but a lot of them really know what they're doing.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby iamnooneelse » Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:53 am

I agree about the advice given by others. Definitely don't rush anything, as law school will always be around. You could even help yourself by adding to your resume in your time off; but don't think that this is a necessity. If you want, travel, and do the things you never had time to do before. It will not negatively affect your chances of admission. If you feel so compelled, once you apply go ahead and write an addendum about your time off, or even incorporate your story into your personal statement if your bounce back is something that shapes or defines you as a person.

The point is that there should be no added stress or pressure caused by the necessity of taking time off, and you will not be negatively affected when the time comes to apply.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby smears » Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:04 pm

OP in some sense I can relate. I lost my father quite suddenly when I had one semester of undergrad left to complete. You'll probably be upset for a while. Pace yourself and make sure that when you do what you want to do that you're ready. It's been several years for me, and I can tell you that you're still gonna miss em, but that eventually you start to feel a lot stronger once you live for a while without them. Just stay focused on where you're headed and do things when you feel ready. Best of luck sir.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby meatball122 » Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:37 pm

I would wait a year to apply. Use that year to do something that will not only let you heal but will also improve your resume, perhaps. (Obviously, the healing > resume.) Perhaps travel the world for a few months and then return to the states and work in a law firm, teach ESL, or work as a research assistant. Well... that's what I'd do anyway.

Law school will always be there. Take this time to get your mind right. Reinvigorate yourself.

Your first post, and mine as well.

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Re: A Grieving Son...What do I do?

Postby Icculus » Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:43 pm

OP, I am sorry for you loss, and think I can relate. My father passed away my senior year in high school. At the time I thought that the best course of action for me was to move on as if nothing was wrong. I graduated high school and went to college, and can say in retrospect I wish I had waited a year to do so. When I got to school I found it difficult to concentrate and ended up self medicating through my years in college, and ended up not performing to the best of my abilities. Had I taken a year off and dealt with my grief I think I would have been better off. My advice is to wait a year, law school will still be there. This all happened 14 years ago, and while I still think of my father often and still wake up some days thinking about him or the fact that I will not see him again, I can assure time does heal, you just need to allow yourself to do so.

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