Admitted Student Days/Weekends Forum

[sarlis]

Do parents typically go, or do students normally go by themselves? My parents would like to go to some, but I'd rather just go by myself / it is cheaper if I just go. I am trying to book a flights and need to know now many tickets to get. What has everyone typically done/typically seen done? Thanks!

[S de Garmeaux]

I know i will probably attend all of them solo

im at the point where i can get the info i need at something like this w/o my parents present

[MC Southstar]

Aw, that's so cute.

[toolshed]

lol wut?

[Rand M.]

The type of responses that this question gets always baffles me. If one's parents will be paying (tuition) or at least helping, how are they not completely entitled to come? Just seems like a personal preference thing to me.

[Pearalegal]

Do parents typically go, or do students normally go by themselves? My parents would like to go to some, but I'd rather just go by myself / it is cheaper if I just go. I am trying to book a flights and need to know now many tickets to get. What has everyone typically done/typically seen done? Thanks!

Unless your parents are paying for your education (and even then, I'd hope they'd respect you enough to give you space to evaluate the situation for yourself), we've all passed the point where our parents should tag along for these things.

You'll be meeting classmates and professors for the first time and trying to figure out where you'd be happiest.

Haha, I'm sure my Mommy will want to see the school I pick after the fact, but I wouldn't want her opinion influencing me. She's not going to be living with me, and she sure as hell isn't paying the bills. Dammit.

[toolshed]

The type of responses that this question gets always baffles me. If one's parents will be paying (tuition) or at least helping, how are they not completely entitled to come? Just seems like a personal preference thing to me.

Because it is not "Admitted Students and Interested Parties/Generous Financiers Weekend".

[MC Southstar]

I'd bring my parents on a separate occasion personally.

[Pearalegal]

I'd bring my parents on a separate occasion personally.

Yeah, definitely. But use the ASW to make your own opinions and grab some beers with future classmates.

[Rand M.]

The type of responses that this question gets always baffles me. If one's parents will be paying (tuition) or at least helping, how are they not completely entitled to come? Just seems like a personal preference thing to me.

Because it is not "Admitted Students and Interested Parties/Generous Financiers Weekend".

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along. Because is it not Orientation/Class-Building it doesn't seem like it would matter all that much who is there. The title of the day would make very little difference to me if it were my money and child. Like I said, I think it is personal preference. I do not know how you are adversely affected by someone else's parent coming.

The whole "grab beers with future classmates" thing does not appeal to some people and they would rather bring a trusted sounding board with them. Why that person cannot be a parent, I do not understand.

[Cupidity]

Is it weird that I want to visit law-schools with my parents?

It's not like I need them or anything, but I want to bring them because it will make them happy.

[Pearalegal]

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along.

Well, usually the ones who come along are the ones who will also be living at/around the school. I'd say that makes sense.

But you're right, if someone wants to bring their parents, whatever. But you can't deny that an adult attending such things with a mom or dad doesn't project a certain image.

Also, you don't have to actually have a beer to hang out with classmates (if you're "not into that"). And you'd have to blow off mom or dad to do that, which would be rude.

[Pearalegal]

Is it weird that I want to visit law-schools with my parents?

It's not like I need them or anything, but I want to bring them because it will make them happy.

My parents will probably visit my top choices with me if I have to go see them outside of ASW. What I'm saying is that taking parents to ASWs just takes you away from the experience you're supposed to be having.

I think most people want to show their parents where they might be and get their opinions...nothing wrong with that.

[DoubleChecks]

The type of responses that this question gets always baffles me. If one's parents will be paying (tuition) or at least helping, how are they not completely entitled to come? Just seems like a personal preference thing to me.

Because it is not "Admitted Students and Interested Parties/Generous Financiers Weekend".

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along. Because is it not Orientation/Class-Building it doesn't seem like it would matter all that much who is there. The title of the day would make very little difference to me if it were my money and child. Like I said, I think it is personal preference. I do not know how you are adversely affected by someone else's parent coming.

The whole "grab beers with future classmates" thing does not appeal to some people and they would rather bring a trusted sounding board with them. Why that person cannot be a parent, I do not understand.

it's because america is a culture that values individualism and independence. from a psychological perspective, those that go against the above stated values will be met w/ anger (for a culture built on purity, it'd be met w/ disgust, for a culture focusing on collectivism and community, it'd be contempt, etc.)

that being said, i think it totally depends on your relationship w/ your parents. if they want to come and you dont mind, why does it matter? lol i mean they arent asking you to pay for them are they?

im chinese and my parents were very involved in my life growing up (especially in education), and remain so to a certain extent. they plan on going up w/ me and that is fine by me, but they sort of have other reasons as well for going to boston at that time.

i dont think they plan to stick w/ me the whole time...and they definitely wont be talking to many professors or potential classmates haha. maybe drop in w/ me on 1-2 of the bigger events, thats it.

[Rand M.]

Is it weird that I want to visit law-schools with my parents?

It's not like I need them or anything, but I want to bring them because it will make them happy.

I really think a lot of people feel this way. I don't think it's weird at all. And I don't see who is negatively impacted.

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along.

Well, usually the ones who come along are the ones who will also be living at/around the school. I'd say that makes sense.

But you're right, if someone wants to bring their parents, whatever. But you can't deny that an adult attending such things with a mom or dad doesn't project a certain image.

Also, you don't have to actually have a beer to hang out with classmates. And you'd have to blow off mom or dad to do that, which would be rude.

I just feel like there is no harm in them checking things out. Especially if its the type of situation where you are not going to be going back and forth a lot. The distance between certain places makes it much easier to do the whole "go and visit" thing one time.

[Helmholtz]

IMO, you do not want your parents there for ASW's, no matter how cool your parents are or how close you are to them. If you want, spend a separate day in the area with them, but the ASW's are not conducive to a becoming a family affair.

[DoubleChecks]

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along.

Well, usually the ones who come along are the ones who will also be living at/around the school. I'd say that makes sense.

But you're right, if someone wants to bring their parents, whatever. But you can't deny that an adult attending such things with a mom or dad doesn't project a certain image.

Also, you don't have to actually have a beer to hang out with classmates (if you're "not into that"). And you'd have to blow off mom or dad to do that, which would be rude.

and what would that image be? i think depending on how it is handled, and the context of the situation and culture, the image could be very favorable. i think of it as very mature to introduce your parents in these things and bring them in on a decision-making process that matters to you, assuming your parents are often involved in these things.

once again, i think it'll really come down to the culture.

[leftieash]

This is obviously just my opinion, but I would never, EVER let my parents come, whether they were paying or not. They are not going to law school--I am. Have them come for a tour later and take you out to dinner.

Regardless of how old you are (even if you are straight out of undergrad!), law school is for adults, and having your parents just kind of tells everyone else that you are not very...mature (even if you are!). I am not sure if professors/other students will look at you differently if your parents just sit there quietly and smile (or say things like, "I'm just so excited for all of you!")...but I can imagine my parents doing much worse. Like asking questions about grading, or trying to crack lawyer jokes. They can hear about it later.

For a perspective from law professors/admissions folks:

http://www.annaivey.com/iveyfiles/2007/ ... _pare.html

[Pearalegal]

I just feel like there is no harm in them checking things out. Especially if its the type of situation where you are not going to be going back and forth a lot. The distance between certain places makes it much easier to do the whole "go and visit" thing one time.

Maybe. But whats the harm in being independent and experiencing the law school you might spend 3 years at on your own?

I'll definitely be excited to show pictures and talk to my parents and friends when I get home. I'm equally excited to see how I feel without a safety net around me when I visit places for the first time. And parents are the ultimate safety net.

[Helmholtz]

Seriously, guys, don't do it. Just take them on a separate tour of the area/LS on a different occasion.

[ashleigh]

if they want to come and you dont mind, why does it matter?

+1

[toolshed]

My point is that this question always gets a different response than someone saying their SO is going to tag along.

Well, usually the ones who come along are the ones who will also be living at/around the school. I'd say that makes sense.

But you're right, if someone wants to bring their parents, whatever. But you can't deny that an adult attending such things with a mom or dad doesn't project a certain image.

Also, you don't have to actually have a beer to hang out with classmates (if you're "not into that"). And you'd have to blow off mom or dad to do that, which would be rude.

and what would that image be? i think depending on how it is handled, and the context of the situation and culture, the image could be very favorable. i think of it as very mature to introduce your parents in these things and bring them in on a decision-making process that matters to you, assuming your parents are often involved in these things.

once again, i think it'll really come down to the culture.

Would you take your parents to a job interview (this has happened at my company)? No one is saying not to get your parents input if you need it to make a decision. No one will be harmed, but it wouldn't be the first impression I would want to give to my future classmates either, regardless if my mom could drink everyone under the table at the social.

[Helmholtz]

if they want to come and you dont mind, why does it matter?

+1

Because you will mind when you actually get there and see what's going on. It might sound nice in theory, but it just won't work well.

[Rand M.]

I just feel like there is no harm in them checking things out. Especially if its the type of situation where you are not going to be going back and forth a lot. The distance between certain places makes it much easier to do the whole "go and visit" thing one time.

Maybe. But whats the harm in being independent and experiencing the law school you might spend 3 years at on your own?

I'll definitely be excited to show pictures and talk to my parents and friends when I get home. I'm equally excited to see how I feel without a safety net around me when I visit places for the first time. And parents are the ultimate safety net.

This is the most credited part. I think there is definitely some merit to trying things out on your own. But, again, I just don't see how someone else decision will affect your time. Their parents are not your safety net and will probably not interact with you to any degree.

[Pearalegal]

and what would that image be? i think depending on how it is handled, and the context of the situation and culture, the image could be very favorable. i think of it as very mature to introduce your parents in these things and bring them in on a decision-making process that matters to you, assuming your parents are often involved in these things.

once again, i think it'll really come down to the culture.

But....why would they be often involved to such an extent? My parents are involved in the law school admissions process (my mom hung all my random fee waivers that showed up at their house on our fridge), but they would also never want to influence me.

We're all grown-ups.

And read that Anna Ivey article to get what I mean about the image. Its just not a mature and positive one to most people.

Do it if you really want to, but...I don't know, I think you're doing yourself a disservice.