Military Statement (Question, not draft)

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PoopyPants

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Military Statement (Question, not draft)

Postby PoopyPants » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:38 am

So, I'm starting to draft ideas for my PS. I'm still active duty, and I was going to write my PS around experiences I've had in the military. Originally, I was planning to write about a few experiences that are "dramatic" to most civilians (and other military who haven't experienced them). Think missiles exploding, massive fire fights, experiences from special programs, etc. However, the more I think about it, I don't want it to be just another GI military PS, i.e., military applicant has seen some "crazy" stuff. Fin.

Reading some other posts, I thought maybe I could share some of my less dramatic experiences, that while lacking in explosions, probably carry more meaning to me as a person. I'm talking about going to places in SE Asia and seeing families on the street where the kids have to share an outfit (i.e., boy has the pants on, girl has the shirt on--both dirty and no shoes). Places where I could buy several families pretty large houses just with the money in my checking account. My concern there, however, is that A) my PS will just become another travelogue, and B) will make it seem like I want to go save the world (I don't--I am applying for in-service JAG program, and if that doesn't pan out, will be taking a job at my dad's immigration firm).

What say ye, wise sages of TLS? Bang! Boom! PS or Poor Kids Made Me Think PS?

sjp200

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Re: Military Statement (Question, not draft)

Postby sjp200 » Fri Dec 18, 2015 4:31 am

PoopyPants wrote:So, I'm starting to draft ideas for my PS. I'm still active duty, and I was going to write my PS around experiences I've had in the military. Originally, I was planning to write about a few experiences that are "dramatic" to most civilians (and other military who haven't experienced them). Think missiles exploding, massive fire fights, experiences from special programs, etc. However, the more I think about it, I don't want it to be just another GI military PS, i.e., military applicant has seen some "crazy" stuff. Fin.

Reading some other posts, I thought maybe I could share some of my less dramatic experiences, that while lacking in explosions, probably carry more meaning to me as a person. I'm talking about going to places in SE Asia and seeing families on the street where the kids have to share an outfit (i.e., boy has the pants on, girl has the shirt on--both dirty and no shoes). Places where I could buy several families pretty large houses just with the money in my checking account. My concern there, however, is that A) my PS will just become another travelogue, and B) will make it seem like I want to go save the world (I don't--I am applying for in-service JAG program, and if that doesn't pan out, will be taking a job at my dad's immigration firm).

What say ye, wise sages of TLS? Bang! Boom! PS or Poor Kids Made Me Think PS?


The fact that you are considering the ups and downs is a very good start in writing your PS. I'll address each one individually.

1. Totally agree you should avoid your first idea of the crazy explosions. The end thought of your PS should be "Therefor, I am a good candidate for law school and you should accept me". I saw explosions doesn't really transition into that very well. In the military, most people in an adcom have seen enough military PS's to know how ranks affect your role in the armed forces, so I would not try and exaggerate your leadership experience through the military if you thought about that route. Not saying you would, but just in casies.

2. Also agree that the SE Asia poor family route is kinda dull. The committee will know you are playing the I can help people route but then will chase the $$$, otherwise if you really were motivated by wanting to help those kinds of people, you would most likely stay active military because that is certainly a noble career that has an enormous effect on the kinds of people you mentioned seeing, more so than an attorney. It also sounds like a study abroad or trip to south africa PS which are both kinda stupid topics.

3. My suggestion: You seem like a well-intentioned individual with a rare perspective. Talk about your time in the military and how it shaped you in a powerful and meaningful way, but avoiding the overly-dramatic "someone died in my arms" or the explosions, etc. Keep it along the lines of how the military motivated you to become the person you are today, regardless if you're donning the uniform or sweats. Demonstrate a clear understanding of the necessity of teamwork and how you have found yourself pursuing the law as a result of whatever brought you to it

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PoopyPants

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Re: Military Statement (Question, not draft)

Postby PoopyPants » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:53 pm

sjp200 wrote:
The fact that you are considering the ups and downs is a very good start in writing your PS. I'll address each one individually.

1. Totally agree you should avoid your first idea of the crazy explosions. The end thought of your PS should be "Therefor, I am a good candidate for law school and you should accept me". I saw explosions doesn't really transition into that very well. In the military, most people in an adcom have seen enough military PS's to know how ranks affect your role in the armed forces, so I would not try and exaggerate your leadership experience through the military if you thought about that route. Not saying you would, but just in cases.


Yeah, I wasn't planning on exaggerating. My original plan was to bookend the ps with an "interesting" story (a missile struck our ship and miraculously, only one person was injured). I wasn't planning on going into the gory details, just using it to introduce the main theme (personal growth). The meat of the PS was actually going to be about my leadership experience and earning my warfare device. I have a pretty good amount of leadership experience as an E-5, so I don't have to exaggerate.

2. Also agree that the SE Asia poor family route is kinda dull. The committee will know you are playing the I can help people route but then will chase the $$$, otherwise if you really were motivated by wanting to help those kinds of people, you would most likely stay active military because that is certainly a noble career that has an enormous effect on the kinds of people you mentioned seeing, more so than an attorney. It also sounds like a study abroad or trip to south africa PS which are both kinda stupid topics.


Agreed. Thanks for confirming my suspicions. Although to be clear, I actually am applying to stay active duty (JAG), and won't be chasing money regardless.

3. My suggestion: You seem like a well-intentioned individual with a rare perspective. Talk about your time in the military and how it shaped you in a powerful and meaningful way, but avoiding the overly-dramatic "someone died in my arms" or the explosions, etc. Keep it along the lines of how the military motivated you to become the person you are today, regardless if you're donning the uniform or sweats. Demonstrate a clear understanding of the necessity of teamwork and how you have found yourself pursuing the law as a result of whatever brought you to it


Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking. I played up in my original post the "drama" I was planning on using. I was just worried that using an experience like that, even though it was definitely an eye opener, would seem too cliche.



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