Personal Statement - Feedback Appreciated Forum

[hill1334]

The below is my somewhat polished, but definitely not finished, personal statement. From my own perspective, I think some of the sentences and ideas I have included need to be better incorporated or dropped altogether. I also think I could benefit from making it a it more personable, but I am not entirety sure how. Overall, it is a little long and needs to be shortened.

I appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

“Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness.” —Viktor Frankl, Austrian Psychologist
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I have made many of my life decisions, from the mundane to the most vital, with the aim of maximizing my freedom—my freedom from financial burden, my freedom from pain and hardships, and my freedom of choice. Perhaps somewhat counter intuitively, my efforts to maximize my freedom have never compelled me to limit my responsibilities. Focusing on the long-term, bigger picture has instead motivated me to take my studies seriously, to compete in the classroom and on the sports field, and to pursue a variety of other activities I believed might further enhance my freedom. In high school, I was a diligent student and captain of three varsity sports teams; in college, I played varsity soccer and club rugby, in addition to working as a student supervisor at Hamilton College’s Information Technology Services help desk. It is clear that throughout my academic career, I certainly did not shirk responsibility. In fact, I think it is fair to say that I took on and almost always fulfilled a good deal of extra responsibilities. Nevertheless, I would not say that responsibility, in and of itself, was something that I sought out. I valued my responsibilities only instrumentally, in so far as they served to further my goals, particularly the goal of maximizing my freedom. However, this mindset has begun to change. My experience working at [NYC Big Law Firm] (“the firm”) over the last year and a half has been transformative. My work has shown me the true relationship between freedom and responsibility and, in doing so, has demonstrated the value of a life “lived in terms of responsibleness.” This understanding was a driving force in my ultimate decision to apply to law school.

As a legal assistant at [the firm], I have had the opportunity to recognize and take real responsibility for my work. It is this newfound responsibility that has made my time at [the firm] the most purposeful and meaningful of my life. My job primarily involves working with attorneys and other legal assistants to represent large financial institutions and central banks in complex civil litigation. While my day-to-day tasks range from the relatively substantive (e.g., writing deposition summaries and digests, identifying deposition testimony for witness assessment, researching country conditions, drafting cover letters, etc.) to the purely administrative in nature, I have learned the importance of contextualizing each and every assignment, even the most menial, within the bigger picture. Doing so ensures that I understand the true significance of my work, and therefore, the full scope of my responsibilities. In many cases, I can fulfill the requirements of my job simply by going through the motions; however, by taking the time to consider the tangible benefits that my work provides to clients, I am able to take on a level of accountability that was absent from my past employment. The fact that working at in “Big Law” actually entails a significant restriction on my day-to-day freedom has only made it clearer to me that it is this sense of accountability I feel towards our clients, not any conception of increased “freedoms,” that has made my experience in law so distinctly rewarding.

While many occupational fields allow one to serve clients, my time at [the firm] has demonstrated that the law, and the attorney-client relationship in particular, entails a specific and elevated level of accountability, and thus, responsibility. This view has been borne out in my experience working with four attorneys to provide pro bono representation for a Pakistani Christian man, seeking asylum in the United States, and his wife, who remains in Pakistan. Although I do not represent our client in any official legal capacity, my active involvement in the case (attorneys on the team once commented that I am frequently assigned tasks typically reserved for junior associates) has allowed me to gain insight into the responsibility entailed by the attorney-client relationship, at both the legal and interpersonal level. From the legal perspective, I have devoted hundreds of hours to assisting the attorneys draft motions and prepare applications on behalf of our client; all of this work has been instrumental in moving the case forward. On a more interpersonal level, I have participated in conference calls and meetings in which we attempted to explain to our client the legal obstacles he faces in gaining asylum for himself, and in extricating his wife from Pakistan. Additionally, I have witnessed the level of compassion and responsibility the attorneys feel toward our client, sentiments evidenced not only by the number of hours put into the case, but also by the passion demonstrated on a regular basis as we debate how best to move the case forward. This process has helped me come to realize why the attorney-client relationship entails such a high level of accountability: by taking on the responsibility of representing an entity, you are not just promising to assist them in moving their case or deal forward, you are also promising to help them understand what legal responsibilities they have themselves and what actions they need to take. Given the importance I have come to place on understanding and taking responsibility, legal representation, in helping others identify their responsibilities and meaning in their own life, seems to be one of the greatest responsibilities one can take on.

Freedom provides individuals with the opportunity to determine the structure and course of their own lives and is therefore essential to a functional society and rightly cherished. However, freedom, in and of itself, does not provide the daily sense of purpose that ultimately leads to meaning. Instead, as I have discovered during my time at [the firm], freedom is of greatest value when used to search for and cultivate a sense of responsibility, the source of meaning in my life. I want to ensure my freedom is used purposefully. Becoming an attorney, and engaging in legal representation, will allow me to best achieve this goal. Whether assisting in the representation of a government entity, a large financial institute, or an individual, the experiences I have had in law have demonstrated to me that the act of representing others is one of the most powerful ways one can live their lives “in terms of responsibleness.”