Rough First Draft, looking for direction Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hi, this is a very rough first draft, more of a work in progress really. Any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks:

I pulled the visor of the cap down. The blue wool pulled my unfurled hair snug against my head. A perfect fit. I was eleven years old, and I had just become obsessed with minutiae. It all started when I purchased my very first baseball cap. To be fair, it was not truly the first one I ever owned. I had collected several from my seasons playing little league, but this was my first proper one.

It had always angered me the discrepancy between the cheap replica caps and the ones the pros wore. I didn’t have a problem with the fact that they were replicas per se, but more so because they were so blatantly divergent from the real thing. They had an adjustable plastic strap around the back and a ridiculous hole peeking above it. The MLB logo would get pushed up above the hole so it sat midway up the crown. On picture day my mother would comment that I looked just like a real player. I scoffed. Real players wore stirrups, not faux striped socks designed to look like them. But at the age of 11, I hadn’t the foggiest clue where to get stirrups, but I knew they sold caps at the stadium.

Once I had the cap, I became consumed with the other details of the game. I began to notice minor imperfections, using an old font for a player’s name on back, or a yearly update that changed the size and position of the numbers on the front. My interest spread to other sports, noticing that some NFL teams only wear white at home, a referee wearing an old striped shirt, the small changes in cut and fabric when the NHL adopted a new Reebok uniform template and the NFL transitioned to Nike. The irrelevant details of aesthetic were as significant as the outcome of the fixture.

It is this emphasis on the infinitesimal that has driven my professional development. My current occupation requires me to weed through the minor details of report requests, understand the significance of each element and all of the parameters and exceptions that might accompany them. It is this, the importance of detail in the law, which intrigues me. And while in the aesthetics of sports, the details may be nothing more than novelty, in life there are no data without purpose and no words without meaning.

[scoobysnax]

The sports thing is interesting, but it doesn't really do anything. It seems like you want to show you're detail oriented, but that doesn't necessarily mean you will be a good lawyer.

Your PS needs to address 1) why law and 2) why you.