PS Draft - Commen and Suggestions Appreciated

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
stevie1138
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:12 pm

PS Draft - Commen and Suggestions Appreciated

Postby stevie1138 » Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:47 pm

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Last edited by stevie1138 on Tue Mar 25, 2014 9:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

efeinste
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:32 pm

Re: PS Draft - Commen and Suggestions Appreciated

Postby efeinste » Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:17 pm

You undermine your underlying assertion that you are, in fact, interested in the practice of law with your discussion of Justice. Example: "I want to learn about the relationship between justice and the law, and gain the ability to work to bring justice into reality." Others may disagree with me, but I think this makes you look naive. Law is not political science. Nor is it philosophy. There will be little if any discussion of justice in law school or your legal career. Furthermore, really all you are claiming throughout your paper is that you had an experience and it made you realize that you don't know anything about the law and that you would like to. This doesn't make for an especially compelling personal statement as you aren't asserting anything about yourself. The admission committee wants to learn more about you. What exactly are you trying to tell them about yourself?

Maybe write more about your experience in the courts if you want to argue that you have good reason to believe you're interested in the law. Or maybe consider writing an entirely different statement. For instance, instead of arguing that you are interested in pursuing a legal career, you could focus on why you would make a good lawyer. This would allow you to focus on your particular skill set, about which you are extremely knowledgeable. Or, if you don't like that option, you could write about your character. Whatever path it is you end up electing, make sure you assert something about yourself. This is your chance to tell the law schools who you are. Take advantage of this opportunity. Own it.




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