Yale 250 critique? Forum

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swoosh

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Yale 250 critique?

Post by swoosh » Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:04 am

editing
Last edited by swoosh on Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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PickMe!

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Re: Yale 250 critique?

Post by PickMe! » Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:40 am

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Last edited by PickMe! on Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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PickMe!

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Re: Yale 250 critique?

Post by PickMe! » Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:32 am

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kwais

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Re: Yale 250 critique?

Post by kwais » Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:37 am

I think that you have an odd mix of ironic seriousness (the opening few lines) and then real seriousness (your explication of the joys of fantasy football). I think you should work on staying in the ironic arena. Once you start trying to make the reader believe that you are serious, the piece loses its humor. See if you can get through the whole thing without winking at the camera.
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