PS critique please! (esp. to the artistically inclined!)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
wesleys
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:43 pm

PS critique please! (esp. to the artistically inclined!)

Postby wesleys » Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:22 pm

My more or less complete draft for my PS. Will be applying to T14, and would love to hear your thoughts! Comments and constructive criticism welcome... please refrain from reposting large portions of the essay. Thanks in advance! Note: my academics are fairly strong already in my transcript and LORs, so I am not focusing too much on my academic ability in the PS.

Also: I know this is not typical, but given the subject of my PS, would it be appropriate to include one or two of my own photos with my application? I think it might add some substance to my PS, but not too sure if this is standard.

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[Thanks for feedback -- PS removed for editing.]
Last edited by wesleys on Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

jmart154
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:30 pm

Re: PS critique please! (esp. to the artistically inclined!)

Postby jmart154 » Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:12 pm

OK Wesley. You've obviously shown that you can write well with this PS. However, I am not entirely sure how adcomms are going to respond to it. It's apparent that you love night photography, but what are we supposed to take away from your PS apart from that? What personal qualities are shown? Essentially none. In my opinion, you have a good topic to work on, but you need to find a way to blend in the photography stuff with some "fluff" that shows adcomms what kind of person you are. As is, this is simply an anecdote that talks about your love of photography. That's great, but it does not convince us why you should be admitted into Law School, or what qualities you possess that would make you a strong candidate. The PS has to go beyond strong writing skills and storytelling. In that regard, I think you have some work to do. Of course, you are free to take my advice as you see fit. Hope it helps a little, however. Good luck!




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