Help with my PS Forum

[mwilson29]

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[LSATclincher]

Seems like a wasted 1st para. You need to utilize 2 pgs to discuss who you are.

[CanadianWolf]

Too many words, too little substance. Gives the impression that you don't really have much to share.

[kublaikahn]

This is just an idea of where I think I might want to go with my PS, but I'm not happy with the way the beginning to it looks right now. Any suggestions are appreciated:

I believe in coincidences, not miracles. The way I see it, logic centrally manifests the explanation for everything in the universe. It is important for me to understand not only how things work, but also why they work. I live by the saying, “everything happens for a reason,” but not in its traditional capacity; I believe that everything happens because there is a concrete explanation and path of reasoning behind it. For example, if someone gets t-boned in an intersection, barely misses getting run over by a semi truck and is able to climb out of their vehicle unscathed, there are laws of physics that govern why all of that happened the way it did. By the same token, when a patient in critical condition flat-lines on the operating table and comes back to life minutes later, I believe it is because of a logical chain of events that led to their recovery, not an act of some supernatural entity. Logic makes sense to me.
It is this interest in logic and reason that makes law so appealing to me. I believe there is a logical explanation for everything that happens. But if I just said that, you wouldn't think I am a rhetorical genius. I am very impressed with myself, now I need to find the connection between logic and law/law school.Blah blah blah, go on to make the connection between the idea of the first paragraph and my interest in law school.

FTFY. As you can see, my recommendation is to take a different tack.