PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

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2011Law
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PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:59 pm

This is kinda a mix of two of my statements. Again, advice is appreciated.

******


In high school I was fortunate enough to take an elective on constitutional law; the class grabbed hold of my interest in a way no other class had ever done before. Uncovering the philosophical and historical origins of my government and following the logic behind the major cases and events that shaped how that government evolved aroused my curiosity and impelled me to learn as much as I could on the subject. I spent much of my free time not only keeping up with the political news of the day but also informing myself as best I could on the issues that seemed to divide the country so deeply.

My interest in the Constitution and the role and functioning of government led me to study political science at _____________ University. Studying the theories of how institutions operate within a country and how governments interact among each other increasingly felt more like a hobby than an assignment that I would be graded on, yet I increasingly felt the need to become involved in the political world in a meaningful, if minor, way.

This need to become involved drove me in search of a group with similar interests. Discovering a recognized student organization with my university called the _____________ gave me hope, despite it being inactive for the past year. Wanting to get it started up again, I asked a few friends and classmates majoring in political science if they wanted to give it a go. Cautiously optimistic about being able to start the organization up again, I got permission to email all political science majors and invited them to our first meeting.

By the time the meeting was starting and the last of the invitees were settling down, the room was nearly full with about forty people. Standing at the front of the classroom with a few others who got interested early on, we discussed what we thought ____________ (club) should do for its members. Nearly everyone agreed that the club should focus first on informing members of the internship and occupational opportunities of political science students, and secondly the club should be a host to those who wished to exchange thoughts about issues in the political world.

Though the club went through some rough patches, we were able to secure a respectable turnout throughout the academic year. Reaching the term limit for president, I felt at ease knowing I succeeded in reestablishing an organization that would help political science students discover their opportunities, as well as giving them a forum to debate their opinions.

Yet my experience in the political world did not end there. Securing internships with ____________ (major state party) and afterward with the _________ (state congress), I was able to gain invaluable insight into the inner workings of state politics that I could not have learned otherwise. These positions also led me to realize how much I enjoyed working with others to solve problems and set goals to accomplish, while my studies in political science and political philosophy taught me how much I enjoyed dissecting large amounts of text in order to grasp not only the major theories of the field but their underlying arguments as well.

For some time I have assumed that I would become a lawyer, so coming to the decision to attend law school and become a lawyer was not a very hard one for me to make. But the decision was not made lightly either. Reading everything I could get my hands on and talking to anyone I could about law school and working as a lawyer, I became sure this was a career that I would excel at and love. I know that analyzing the cases and doctrines that make up the law will satisfy my need to master the intricacies involved in any field, and that working with others to win every part of a case on behalf of a client in need will fill my desire to help others find what they cannot.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:40 pm

bump

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MrPapagiorgio
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby MrPapagiorgio » Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:43 pm

PS appears to be solid. But unless you have four fee waivers or the schools will be a lock based on your numbers, applying 3 days before the deadline is overall not a good move. You should have taken advantage of rolling admissions. Applying 3 days before is extremely late in the game. Just had to rant that. Again, PS seems solid.

Good luck in your cycle.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:58 pm

MrPapagiorgio wrote:PS appears to be solid. But unless you have four fee waivers or the schools will be a lock based on your numbers, applying 3 days before the deadline is overall not a good move. You should have taken advantage of rolling admissions. Applying 3 days before is extremely late in the game. Just had to rant that. Again, PS seems solid.

Good luck in your cycle.


I know, and trust me I'm kicking myself for it. I was just so lazy after I graduated (bad excuse). So maybe I finally have a PS that won't hurt me? (though I'll still be making edits throughout the night)

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MrPapagiorgio
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby MrPapagiorgio » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:03 pm

If you don't mind, what schools were you looking at? T14 this late with those stats may be out of the question, but you may not be entirely screwed at some others in the T25-T30.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:09 pm

MrPapagiorgio wrote:If you don't mind, what schools were you looking at? T14 this late with those stats may be out of the question, but you may not be entirely screwed at some others in the T25-T30.


Yeah not really looking at t14, might still apply to cornell as my farthest reach, but this late maybe not. My main targets have been wustl, gw, and bu. applying to ~14 schools in all.

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MrPapagiorgio
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby MrPapagiorgio » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:15 pm

2011Law wrote:
MrPapagiorgio wrote:If you don't mind, what schools were you looking at? T14 this late with those stats may be out of the question, but you may not be entirely screwed at some others in the T25-T30.


Yeah not really looking at t14, might still apply to cornell as my farthest reach, but this late maybe not. My main targets have been wustl, gw, and bu. applying to ~14 schools in all.


I would say that WUSTL, GW and BU may have all been in's had you applied early on. The GPA may hurt you at them, being in the 25th. But your LSAT is in the 75th, so that may = WL.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:18 pm

MrPapagiorgio wrote:
2011Law wrote:
MrPapagiorgio wrote:If you don't mind, what schools were you looking at? T14 this late with those stats may be out of the question, but you may not be entirely screwed at some others in the T25-T30.


Yeah not really looking at t14, might still apply to cornell as my farthest reach, but this late maybe not. My main targets have been wustl, gw, and bu. applying to ~14 schools in all.


I would say that WUSTL, GW and BU may have all been in's had you applied early on. The GPA may hurt you at them, being in the 25th. But your LSAT is in the 75th, so that may = WL.


wow, really think I'll get WL at all of them? The deadlines there aren't until march I think (I know its still close, but its not like a few days away).

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MrPapagiorgio
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby MrPapagiorgio » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:22 pm

2011Law wrote:
MrPapagiorgio wrote:
2011Law wrote:
MrPapagiorgio wrote:If you don't mind, what schools were you looking at? T14 this late with those stats may be out of the question, but you may not be entirely screwed at some others in the T25-T30.


Yeah not really looking at t14, might still apply to cornell as my farthest reach, but this late maybe not. My main targets have been wustl, gw, and bu. applying to ~14 schools in all.


I would say that WUSTL, GW and BU may have all been in's had you applied early on. The GPA may hurt you at them, being in the 25th. But your LSAT is in the 75th, so that may = WL.


wow, really think I'll get WL at all of them? The deadlines there aren't until march I think (I know its still close, but its not like a few days away).


When you split the stats like that (25th GPA, 75th LSAT), decisions are up in the air and WL is more likely than outright rejection when the higher stat is the LSAT. You may get 1 acceptance out of those three, though. Again, I am no expert and this is just my personal prediction. I do wish you luck though (mostly because I'm not competing against you at any of those schools! :P )

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:27 pm

MrPapagiorgio wrote:When you split the stats like that (25th GPA, 75th LSAT), decisions are up in the air and WL is more likely than outright rejection when the higher stat is the LSAT. You may get 1 acceptance out of those three, though. Again, I am no expert and this is just my personal prediction. I do wish you luck though (mostly because I'm not competing against you at any of those schools! :P )


actually my prediction when I got my lsat was that I'd get at least one accept and one or two WL, then other people told me that I'd probably just get accepted at all three. I'm mostly leaning toward going to GW or BU, so if I could go there I think I'd be happy.



anyone else have advice about my PS?

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:56 pm

bump, would really like a few other thoughts on it.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:40 pm

bump

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:32 am

please?

leemh87
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby leemh87 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:28 pm

I'm in the exact same situation as you - similar stats, just didn't get around to my apps after graduation and now I want to slap myself for waiting this long. I want to apply to Cornell too but is 2/1 the submit deadline, or application complete deadline? If it's the completion deadline I don't think it'll be worth it...

I'm also kind of banking on GW esp with the march deadline but yeah now I'm slightly freaking out that I won't be admitted. Honestly at this point I feel like the situation can't get more shitty haha, so just might as well submit what you have and just pray for a miracle.

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:24 pm

leemh87 wrote:I'm in the exact same situation as you - similar stats, just didn't get around to my apps after graduation and now I want to slap myself for waiting this long. I want to apply to Cornell too but is 2/1 the submit deadline, or application complete deadline? If it's the completion deadline I don't think it'll be worth it...

I'm also kind of banking on GW esp with the march deadline but yeah now I'm slightly freaking out that I won't be admitted. Honestly at this point I feel like the situation can't get more shitty haha, so just might as well submit what you have and just pray for a miracle.


just looked at it, the deadlines are submission deadlines.

SigBab
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby SigBab » Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:28 pm

I wasn't very consistent with my "edits", so for that, I apologize. IANAL (yet! ;) ), but I do enjoy editing and I've always excelled with grammar. Anything I wrote are merely suggestions. I didn't include any positive feedback, simply because you don't have that kind of time! I will tell you now that I think the content is great. I would suggest reading over each sentence to make sure it's phrased in the best way possible a few more times.

I hope this helps! And good luck!

2011Law wrote:This is kinda a mix of two of my statements. Again, advice is appreciated.

******


In high school, I was fortunate enough to take an elective on constitutional law. The class grabbed hold of my interest in a way no other class had ever done before. Uncovering the philosophical and historical origins of my government and following the logic behind the major cases and events that shaped how that government evolved aroused my curiosity and impelled me to learn as much as I could on the subject.(not an incorrect sentence, but it's rather long) I spent much of my free time not only keeping up with the political news of the day, but also informing myself as best I could on the issues that seemed to divide the country so deeply.

My interest in the Constitution and the role and functioning of government led me to study political science (should this be capitalized?) at _____________ University. Studying the theories of how institutions operate within a country and how governments interact among each other increasingly felt more like a hobby than an assignment that I would be graded on(personal pet peeve--on which I would be graded), yet I increasingly felt (you just used this phrase a second ago) the need to become involved in the political world in a meaningful, if minor (I don't know that it's necessary to minimize your desire or subsequent work), way.

This need to become involved drove me in search of (drove me to search for?) a group with similar interests. Discovering a recognized student organization with my university called the _____________ gave me hope, despite it being inactive for the past year. Wanting to get it started up (there's probably a more exciting way to phrase this) again, I asked a few friends and classmates majoring in political science if they wanted to give it a go (this sounds unprofessional--perhaps be more specific). Cautiously optimistic about being able to start the organization up again, I got permission (passive voice--who gave you permission?) to email all political science majors and invited them to our first meeting.

By the time the meeting was starting and the last of the invitees were settling down, the room was nearly full with about forty people (passive voice--forty people filled the room? Although I realize that may not convey the picture you are setting). Standing at the front of the classroom with a few others who got interested (pet peeve--the word "got") early on (in the process), we discussed what we thought ____________ (club) should do for its members. Nearly everyone agreed that the club should focus first on informing members of the internship and occupational opportunities of political science students, and secondly, the club should be a(serve as) host to those who wished to exchange thoughts about issues in the political world.

Though the club went through some rough patches (such as?), we were able to secure a respectable turnout throughout the academic year. Reaching the term limit for president, I felt at ease knowing I succeeded in reestablishing an organization that would help political science students discover their opportunities, as well as giving them a forum (in which) to debate their opinions.

Yet (why yet? I don't think it's necessary) my experience in the political world did not end there. Securing internships with ____________ (major state party) and afterward with the _________ (state congress), I was able to gain invaluable insight into the inner workings of state politics that I could not have learned otherwise. These positions also led me to realize how much I enjoyed working with others to solve problems and set goals to accomplish, while my studies in political science and political philosophy taught me how much I enjoyed dissecting large amounts of text in order to grasp not only the major theories of the field, but their underlying arguments as well.

For some time I have assumed that I would become a lawyer, so coming to the decision to attend law school and become a lawyer was not a very hard one for me to make. But the decision was not made lightly either (using "But" and "either" in the same sentence strikes me as redundant). Reading everything I could get my hands on (about what subject?) and talking to anyone I could about law school and working as a lawyer, I became sure this was a career that I would excel at (in which I would excel--pet peeve again, prepositions don't belong at the end of phrases) and love. I know that analyzing the cases and doctrines that make up the law will satisfy my need to master the intricacies involved in any field, and that working with others to win every part of a case on behalf of a client in need will fill my desire to help others find what they cannot (I like this phrase a lot).

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drmguy
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby drmguy » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:18 pm

Second paragraph increasingly increasingly

Overall its good

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:09 pm

drmguy wrote:Second paragraph increasingly increasingly

Overall its good


Noticed that a little bit ago, thanks for the feedback though. I guess I'm ready to send... finally :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

leemh87
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby leemh87 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:11 pm

Nice! Then I'm going to go ahead and apply. You should too - you really never know and its better than always wondering what if...!

2011Law
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby 2011Law » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:21 pm

SigBab wrote:I wasn't very consistent with my "edits", so for that, I apologize. IANAL (yet! ;) ), but I do enjoy editing and I've always excelled with grammar. Anything I wrote are merely suggestions. I didn't include any positive feedback, simply because you don't have that kind of time! I will tell you now that I think the content is great. I would suggest reading over each sentence to make sure it's phrased in the best way possible a few more times.

I hope this helps! And good luck!

2011Law wrote:This is kinda a mix of two of my statements. Again, advice is appreciated.

******


In high school, I was fortunate enough to take an elective on constitutional law. The class grabbed hold of my interest in a way no other class had ever done before. Uncovering the philosophical and historical origins of my government and following the logic behind the major cases and events that shaped how that government evolved aroused my curiosity and impelled me to learn as much as I could on the subject.(not an incorrect sentence, but it's rather long) I spent much of my free time not only keeping up with the political news of the day, but also informing myself as best I could on the issues that seemed to divide the country so deeply.

My interest in the Constitution and the role and functioning of government led me to study political science (should this be capitalized?) at _____________ University. Studying the theories of how institutions operate within a country and how governments interact among each other increasingly felt more like a hobby than an assignment that I would be graded on(personal pet peeve--on which I would be graded), yet I increasingly felt (you just used this phrase a second ago) the need to become involved in the political world in a meaningful, if minor (I don't know that it's necessary to minimize your desire or subsequent work), way.

This need to become involved drove me in search of (drove me to search for?) a group with similar interests. Discovering a recognized student organization with my university called the _____________ gave me hope, despite it being inactive for the past year. Wanting to get it started up (there's probably a more exciting way to phrase this) again, I asked a few friends and classmates majoring in political science if they wanted to give it a go (this sounds unprofessional--perhaps be more specific). Cautiously optimistic about being able to start the organization up again, I got permission (passive voice--who gave you permission?) to email all political science majors and invited them to our first meeting.

By the time the meeting was starting and the last of the invitees were settling down, the room was nearly full with about forty people (passive voice--forty people filled the room? Although I realize that may not convey the picture you are setting). Standing at the front of the classroom with a few others who got interested (pet peeve--the word "got") early on (in the process), we discussed what we thought ____________ (club) should do for its members. Nearly everyone agreed that the club should focus first on informing members of the internship and occupational opportunities of political science students, and secondly, the club should be a(serve as) host to those who wished to exchange thoughts about issues in the political world.

Though the club went through some rough patches (such as?), we were able to secure a respectable turnout throughout the academic year. Reaching the term limit for president, I felt at ease knowing I succeeded in reestablishing an organization that would help political science students discover their opportunities, as well as giving them a forum (in which) to debate their opinions.

Yet (why yet? I don't think it's necessary) my experience in the political world did not end there. Securing internships with ____________ (major state party) and afterward with the _________ (state congress), I was able to gain invaluable insight into the inner workings of state politics that I could not have learned otherwise. These positions also led me to realize how much I enjoyed working with others to solve problems and set goals to accomplish, while my studies in political science and political philosophy taught me how much I enjoyed dissecting large amounts of text in order to grasp not only the major theories of the field, but their underlying arguments as well.

For some time I have assumed that I would become a lawyer, so coming to the decision to attend law school and become a lawyer was not a very hard one for me to make. But the decision was not made lightly either (using "But" and "either" in the same sentence strikes me as redundant). Reading everything I could get my hands on (about what subject?) and talking to anyone I could about law school and working as a lawyer, I became sure this was a career that I would excel at (in which I would excel--pet peeve again, prepositions don't belong at the end of phrases) and love. I know that analyzing the cases and doctrines that make up the law will satisfy my need to master the intricacies involved in any field, and that working with others to win every part of a case on behalf of a client in need will fill my desire to help others find what they cannot (I like this phrase a lot).


Seriously, thank you so much.

You da bomb SigBab!

Bearlegdairy
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Re: PS, advice appreciated. have four 2/1 deadlines

Postby Bearlegdairy » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:20 pm

I like it, though admittedly I'm far from an expert on personal statements. The only thing that stuck out to me was your use of "assumed" in the final paragraph. You clarify that it was not a decision taken lightly, so that's good, but to me "assume" has always possessed a negative connotation. But that's a minor quibble. Overall a fine statement, in my opinion.




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