Personal Statement Samples Forum
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Scuzzlebutt
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:40 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
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Last edited by Scuzzlebutt on Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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tsub
- Posts: 78
- Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:36 am
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Moved
Last edited by tsub on Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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worldtraveler
- Posts: 8676
- Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 4:47 am
Re: Personal Statement Samples
I'm going to post this again because people are not looking:
THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR DRAFTS. THIS IS FOR FINISHED PERSONAL STATEMENTS ONLY.
Okay. I feel better now.
THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR DRAFTS. THIS IS FOR FINISHED PERSONAL STATEMENTS ONLY.
Okay. I feel better now.
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abates3
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:24 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Moved.
Last edited by abates3 on Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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joshikousei
- Posts: 189
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:38 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
worldtraveler wrote:I'm going to post this again because people are not looking:
THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR DRAFTS. THIS IS FOR FINISHED PERSONAL STATEMENTS ONLY.
Okay. I feel better now.
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fcomith
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:14 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Wow, gonna copy and paste one of these. Thanks for the free essays
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WhiskeyGuy
- Posts: 361
- Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:34 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Make sure you pick an essay written by someone of the same sex, UG institution, age, and with the same work and life experience.fcomith wrote:Wow, gonna copy and paste one of these. Thanks for the free essays
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bstrunk
- Posts: 74
- Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:26 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
+1WhiskeyGuy wrote:Make sure you pick an essay written by someone of the same sex, UG institution, age, and with the same work and life experience.fcomith wrote:Wow, gonna copy and paste one of these. Thanks for the free essays
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kevin261186
- Posts: 113
- Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:45 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
First draft of PS. Any comments very welcome. Thank you.
I have recently moved to the USA from Scotland, where I was born, raised and educated. Like my forefathers I have come to seek enlightenment in the home of the top seats of learning in the world. I have battled against all kinds of adversity in my life; but the two most notable cases are; being born blind in one eye, and the financial hardship which forced me to work throughout university in the aftermath of my parents’ divorce.
Lyndon B Johnson is often quoted as saying that; “every man is either trying to make up for his father’s mistakes, or live up to his expectations”. The former of these applies to me. My father was often unemployed and an alcoholic. My mother, a school teacher is the polar opposite, and they divorced in 2004. When he declared bankruptcy a year later my mother was pursued for his debt as he had disappeared by then. She is still working two jobs to repay this debt and keep the family home. For this reason she is the most influential person in my life. She works tirelessly and selflessly. She never complains, she just gets things done. These traits have thankfully passed to me.
The hardship that she faced as a single mother with three sons has forced me to appreciate what I had and ensured I never felt any sense of entitlement. I would not change my experience, despite many unhappy times; for it has led me to the point where I have gained two full years of work experience, attained a top degree and risked all by moving to the USA to pursue a legal education. Hardship has made me hungry for success in my own life. This hunger is exemplified by my attainment of an MA (with honors) from the most competitive course from a top ranked University in the UK. More than this, I prize my inherited ability to conquer problems in spite of adversity. I do not blame my father for his mistakes. With little chance for formal education he has shown me that education leads to security in all areas of life and has solidified my opinion that each generation’s goal should simply be to make things better than your generation had.
My experience of working in a law firm has shown me that the principles most sought after in this profession, and which I have worked so hard to maintain in my own life, are those which best equip me for a career in law. I believe that honesty, dedication and dogged persistence are the best way to overcome problems. Many people have the ability to succeed, but it is only the few who have the desire and work ethic to do so against the odds; perfectly encapsulated by Edison, who, in 1903, said that “genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration”. Success is a function of the traits with which I have been endowed; and this endowment is as important for success as financial support. I see my education as a long-term investment, the benefits of which I will to recover over the course of a challenging and rewarding career in law. I thank my mother for giving me her work ethic and honesty; I know it will serve me well in law school.
I have recently moved to the USA from Scotland, where I was born, raised and educated. Like my forefathers I have come to seek enlightenment in the home of the top seats of learning in the world. I have battled against all kinds of adversity in my life; but the two most notable cases are; being born blind in one eye, and the financial hardship which forced me to work throughout university in the aftermath of my parents’ divorce.
Lyndon B Johnson is often quoted as saying that; “every man is either trying to make up for his father’s mistakes, or live up to his expectations”. The former of these applies to me. My father was often unemployed and an alcoholic. My mother, a school teacher is the polar opposite, and they divorced in 2004. When he declared bankruptcy a year later my mother was pursued for his debt as he had disappeared by then. She is still working two jobs to repay this debt and keep the family home. For this reason she is the most influential person in my life. She works tirelessly and selflessly. She never complains, she just gets things done. These traits have thankfully passed to me.
The hardship that she faced as a single mother with three sons has forced me to appreciate what I had and ensured I never felt any sense of entitlement. I would not change my experience, despite many unhappy times; for it has led me to the point where I have gained two full years of work experience, attained a top degree and risked all by moving to the USA to pursue a legal education. Hardship has made me hungry for success in my own life. This hunger is exemplified by my attainment of an MA (with honors) from the most competitive course from a top ranked University in the UK. More than this, I prize my inherited ability to conquer problems in spite of adversity. I do not blame my father for his mistakes. With little chance for formal education he has shown me that education leads to security in all areas of life and has solidified my opinion that each generation’s goal should simply be to make things better than your generation had.
My experience of working in a law firm has shown me that the principles most sought after in this profession, and which I have worked so hard to maintain in my own life, are those which best equip me for a career in law. I believe that honesty, dedication and dogged persistence are the best way to overcome problems. Many people have the ability to succeed, but it is only the few who have the desire and work ethic to do so against the odds; perfectly encapsulated by Edison, who, in 1903, said that “genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration”. Success is a function of the traits with which I have been endowed; and this endowment is as important for success as financial support. I see my education as a long-term investment, the benefits of which I will to recover over the course of a challenging and rewarding career in law. I thank my mother for giving me her work ethic and honesty; I know it will serve me well in law school.
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lepradillo
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:00 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
let us know how that works out for youfcomith wrote:Wow, gonna copy and paste one of these. Thanks for the free essays
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karmicgruve
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:54 am
Re: Personal Statement Samples
My family’s journey as United States immigrants drives my ambition to study law. I desire to utilize my experiences combined with a juris doctorate to help immigrants navigate the complexities of our American legal system in their own journeys toward citizenship. I hope to empower them with sufficient knowledge enabling them to make informed legal decisions while avoiding the pitfalls inherent within the system.
I was born in the Philippines, the product of a multiracial union between an Irish father and a Spanish/Filipino mother. Early in my life we lived in Tokyo where my parents earned a modest living teaching English. At five we moved to Chicago where I quickly experienced my first taste of alienation when members of my predominately white neighborhood hurled slurs like “Spic” and “Wetback” because of my dominant Hispanic features or “freak” because I mixed Japanese, English and Tagalog in sentences when I spoke.
My life as a new immigrant grew more complex when my parents divorced shortly after our arrival. Left alone to support us, my mother was relegated to multiple, minimum wage jobs requiring her to work 12-15 hour days. Though well educated, possessing a master’s degree in education, more highly paid, skilled positions were beyond my mother’s reach because employers would not recognize her foreign degree. She suffered fatigue and hypertension, the result of stress from six-day, 70-hour work weeks and at only 40 she had her first heart attack. No insurance offered only the prospect of more financial turmoil. It was difficult for my well educated mother who felt shame as we turned to public aid to help keep us afloat.
In subsequent years my mother’s countless attempts at petitioning her siblings were hindered by an inability to navigate the many complexities of our U.S. immigration system mired by inefficiencies and a lack of funds to retain a credible attorney to aid in the process. Her experiences were rife with offers from unscrupulous individuals making fruitless promises to expedite the process or illegally arrange contract marriages in exchange for exorbitant fees.
My family’s experiences have given me an intimate knowledge of the desires that help to define the greater immigrant population In the United States: cultural assimilation, education, and an improved quallity of life. I have matured with a heightened awareness of the myriad challenges faced by countless immigrants: alienation, discrimination, and the injustices of being denied many basic legal and socioeconomic opportunities many Americans take for granted. I desire to dedicate my service to address these injustices and advocate broader policy change that may help ease immigrants’ already difficult transitions and allow them one day to proudly identify as Americans.
I firmly believe expressing one’s American identity and holding onto one’s cultural identity are not mutually exclusive endeavors. It is my hope to engender thought, encourage dialogue, and foster greater understanding between immigrants and the greater American public; to communicate the intrinsic value exposure to a rich, culturally diverse population holds for our social and economic wealth.
I was born in the Philippines, the product of a multiracial union between an Irish father and a Spanish/Filipino mother. Early in my life we lived in Tokyo where my parents earned a modest living teaching English. At five we moved to Chicago where I quickly experienced my first taste of alienation when members of my predominately white neighborhood hurled slurs like “Spic” and “Wetback” because of my dominant Hispanic features or “freak” because I mixed Japanese, English and Tagalog in sentences when I spoke.
My life as a new immigrant grew more complex when my parents divorced shortly after our arrival. Left alone to support us, my mother was relegated to multiple, minimum wage jobs requiring her to work 12-15 hour days. Though well educated, possessing a master’s degree in education, more highly paid, skilled positions were beyond my mother’s reach because employers would not recognize her foreign degree. She suffered fatigue and hypertension, the result of stress from six-day, 70-hour work weeks and at only 40 she had her first heart attack. No insurance offered only the prospect of more financial turmoil. It was difficult for my well educated mother who felt shame as we turned to public aid to help keep us afloat.
In subsequent years my mother’s countless attempts at petitioning her siblings were hindered by an inability to navigate the many complexities of our U.S. immigration system mired by inefficiencies and a lack of funds to retain a credible attorney to aid in the process. Her experiences were rife with offers from unscrupulous individuals making fruitless promises to expedite the process or illegally arrange contract marriages in exchange for exorbitant fees.
My family’s experiences have given me an intimate knowledge of the desires that help to define the greater immigrant population In the United States: cultural assimilation, education, and an improved quallity of life. I have matured with a heightened awareness of the myriad challenges faced by countless immigrants: alienation, discrimination, and the injustices of being denied many basic legal and socioeconomic opportunities many Americans take for granted. I desire to dedicate my service to address these injustices and advocate broader policy change that may help ease immigrants’ already difficult transitions and allow them one day to proudly identify as Americans.
I firmly believe expressing one’s American identity and holding onto one’s cultural identity are not mutually exclusive endeavors. It is my hope to engender thought, encourage dialogue, and foster greater understanding between immigrants and the greater American public; to communicate the intrinsic value exposure to a rich, culturally diverse population holds for our social and economic wealth.
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Sequoia90
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:22 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
kevin261186, this should be in the "Swap PS" page or a new post if you want comments.
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Sequoia90
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:22 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
GPA: 3.28
LSAT: 173
Accepted: T-14
Most applications still pending, I will update towards the end of the cycle.
At the start of each year at [XYZ ELEMENTARY] School, every student is required to take a reading assessment. My fifth grade student, Eduardo, began with a book at a second-grade reading level. I expected that this outgoing, sociable student would have no trouble. A few minutes into the book and many pauses later, Eduardo stopped reading. He whispered letters under his breath, trying to pronounce the next word, “butterfly.” He glanced up, peered directly into my eyes and said, “I can’t do it, Mister. I give up.”
Education equality has been a passion of mine since college. Throughout my years at [COLLEGE], I lobbied state officials and worked with the university administration to make higher education more affordable and accessible to traditionally under-represented groups. Despite my efforts, lower-income students were applying in smaller numbers and had a lower rate of retention once enrolled in the university. I began to see that barriers to higher education start long before high school seniors fill out applications. These problems are rooted in the nation’s education achievement gap: students who never learn to adequately read have little chance of success in a rigorous high school or college curriculum. This realization motivated me to enter the classroom through Teach for America.
As a charter school, [XYZ ELEM SCHOOL] does not have the resources of a traditional public school. With no standard curriculum, teachers are required to develop their own unit and lesson plans. My struggle to find adequate resources made it difficult to create engaging, informative lessons. I did my best, but by October, my students were still struggling with the material. Like Eduardo, I felt like giving up.
Things began to turn a corner in November when the class was reading a portion of our social studies textbook out loud. “Eduardo, could you read the second paragraph?” I asked. His eyes widened in fear as he looked up at me. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath and began to read. Whenever the words were too challenging, we worked through them together. Although the text was three years beyond his current reading level, he was determined to read it aloud—even if it meant asking for my help.
That day, I realized that I too needed to ask for help from those around me. I followed Eduardo’s example and reached out to my support networks to improve my curriculum. My Teach for America coordinator helped me refine my year-long unit planning, and my on-site coach provided more resources. I collaborated with my fellow fifth grade teacher to develop lesson plans that we could both use.
I implemented a challenging, yet attainable curriculum with resources that I scraped together from the Internet and various textbooks. My lesson plans were more coherent and leveraged my students’ strengths. By March, my initiative began to pay off as my students greatly improved their assessment performances. I managed to free up an hour to work with Eduardo one-on-one after school a few times a week. I pinpointed his trouble with syllabication, a skill that allows students to read chunks of words instead of letter by letter, and implemented a plan to help him master it. Eduardo’s face reflected a new-found confidence when he completed the year-end reading assessment. He left my class at a fifth grade reading level, remarkably demonstrating more than two years of progress.
I look back at this experience, grateful for an opportunity for personal growth. I learned how to flexibly approach multi-pronged problems and solve them using a variety of resources. I actively engaged a national problem at a local level by working personally with students and parents. Overall, the most fulfilling aspect of this experience was watching my students overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges; it is my great hope for them that they will approach future obstacles with similar confidence.
LSAT: 173
Accepted: T-14
Most applications still pending, I will update towards the end of the cycle.
At the start of each year at [XYZ ELEMENTARY] School, every student is required to take a reading assessment. My fifth grade student, Eduardo, began with a book at a second-grade reading level. I expected that this outgoing, sociable student would have no trouble. A few minutes into the book and many pauses later, Eduardo stopped reading. He whispered letters under his breath, trying to pronounce the next word, “butterfly.” He glanced up, peered directly into my eyes and said, “I can’t do it, Mister. I give up.”
Education equality has been a passion of mine since college. Throughout my years at [COLLEGE], I lobbied state officials and worked with the university administration to make higher education more affordable and accessible to traditionally under-represented groups. Despite my efforts, lower-income students were applying in smaller numbers and had a lower rate of retention once enrolled in the university. I began to see that barriers to higher education start long before high school seniors fill out applications. These problems are rooted in the nation’s education achievement gap: students who never learn to adequately read have little chance of success in a rigorous high school or college curriculum. This realization motivated me to enter the classroom through Teach for America.
As a charter school, [XYZ ELEM SCHOOL] does not have the resources of a traditional public school. With no standard curriculum, teachers are required to develop their own unit and lesson plans. My struggle to find adequate resources made it difficult to create engaging, informative lessons. I did my best, but by October, my students were still struggling with the material. Like Eduardo, I felt like giving up.
Things began to turn a corner in November when the class was reading a portion of our social studies textbook out loud. “Eduardo, could you read the second paragraph?” I asked. His eyes widened in fear as he looked up at me. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath and began to read. Whenever the words were too challenging, we worked through them together. Although the text was three years beyond his current reading level, he was determined to read it aloud—even if it meant asking for my help.
That day, I realized that I too needed to ask for help from those around me. I followed Eduardo’s example and reached out to my support networks to improve my curriculum. My Teach for America coordinator helped me refine my year-long unit planning, and my on-site coach provided more resources. I collaborated with my fellow fifth grade teacher to develop lesson plans that we could both use.
I implemented a challenging, yet attainable curriculum with resources that I scraped together from the Internet and various textbooks. My lesson plans were more coherent and leveraged my students’ strengths. By March, my initiative began to pay off as my students greatly improved their assessment performances. I managed to free up an hour to work with Eduardo one-on-one after school a few times a week. I pinpointed his trouble with syllabication, a skill that allows students to read chunks of words instead of letter by letter, and implemented a plan to help him master it. Eduardo’s face reflected a new-found confidence when he completed the year-end reading assessment. He left my class at a fifth grade reading level, remarkably demonstrating more than two years of progress.
I look back at this experience, grateful for an opportunity for personal growth. I learned how to flexibly approach multi-pronged problems and solve them using a variety of resources. I actively engaged a national problem at a local level by working personally with students and parents. Overall, the most fulfilling aspect of this experience was watching my students overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges; it is my great hope for them that they will approach future obstacles with similar confidence.
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destroyer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:06 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
..........................................................
Last edited by destroyer on Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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123xalady
- Posts: 217
- Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:17 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
this belongs in the swapping threaddestroyer wrote:Help please...I need some input if possible!
When I found out we were leaving the Dominican Republic to live in the United States my face dropped, I could not even imagine leaving my friends and life as I knew it for a new life in a different country. Now, I must admit that moving to the United States was a wise decision from my parents.
Even though we do not enjoy many luxuries and are facing many economic hardships, I could not even try to imagine how different my life would have been otherwise. I enjoy my life as a college student and I am looking forward to future challenges such as law school. I believe I can have a great time in college, while being a model student. However, it has not always been easy. I always try to excel at everything I do, but my first year in college was not an easy one, due to all the difficulties I faced as a new student in a new environment, in a different country. Perhaps the most challenging barrier I would have to overcome would be to master a new language.
I knew my former command of English was not going to help me too much in college, especially if I wanted to someday go to law school. My first few months in college were very demanding as I continued facing difficulties while adjusting to a new way of life and improving my English, realizing I not only needed to speak English well, but also write it. After receiving my first graded writing assignment the second week of school, on which the professor stated that if I wanted to be successful in college I was going to have to greatly improve my writing skills, I realized that I had a long road ahead of me, therefore the first thing I did after receiving my writing assignment was to go tell my professor, about my aspirations and how I wanted to someday go to law school. I ended up asking him for his advice, which he was happy to give, and which proved to be of much help. I definitely showed determination and willingness for improvement; because, a month before my first semester was over, I received a perfect score in a writing assignment and a personal note from my professor saying my essay had been perfectly written and how impressed he was by it. I knew I still had to get better at many aspects of writing. Therefore, I kept working hard to get better.
I was motivated to work harder than everyone else in class. My hard work and dedication have proved to be worth it; I received an A+ in every single writing assignment and made the Dean’s List during my junior year of college, and this year will be the same or even better as I continue my path to being the best student I can be.
Adapting to a new environment was not an easy feat, but I was ready for it, ready to try my best at whatever situation I could find myself in. I realized I had to take advantage of the opportunities I had in this great land, opportunities I had never enjoyed before in my life. I started to contemplate how many opportunities I did not have while living in the Dominican Republic; I decided that it was time for me to start appreciating the opportunities I had at the moment.
I have realized how being part of a minority group and living in a different culture than the one I grew up in has helped me understand better than ever the unique opportunities I have and how I far I can go. The liberties and opportunities I now enjoy give me hope to someday become a lawyer. I wish to help other people who also shared my cultural background understand the law I am trying to study and how every human being deserves the same opportunities as anyone. Many aspects of the law have fascinated me throughout my college years. I have had many classes that dealt with the law in one way or the other, from criminal and business law to learning about civil rights in constitutional law, and I am confident my interest in the law will only become stronger during my law school years.
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writetrack
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:27 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Hi destroyer,
I looked over your Personal Statement and it seems that you have a lot to work with in terms of your identity, hardships you have overcome, and why you want to go to law school. However, it lacks that unique touch that will allow it to resonate with the admissions committee. You need to have a stronger introduction to capture their attention, and work through the essay in a way that better explains the hardships you faced through a creative narrative rather then simply blocks of information.
Best,
Hamada
I looked over your Personal Statement and it seems that you have a lot to work with in terms of your identity, hardships you have overcome, and why you want to go to law school. However, it lacks that unique touch that will allow it to resonate with the admissions committee. You need to have a stronger introduction to capture their attention, and work through the essay in a way that better explains the hardships you faced through a creative narrative rather then simply blocks of information.
Best,
Hamada
123xalady wrote:this belongs in the swapping threaddestroyer wrote:Help please...I need some input if possible!
When I found out we were leaving the Dominican Republic to live in the United States my face dropped, I could not even imagine leaving my friends and life as I knew it for a new life in a different country. Now, I must admit that moving to the United States was a wise decision from my parents.
Even though we do not enjoy many luxuries and are facing many economic hardships, I could not even try to imagine how different my life would have been otherwise. I enjoy my life as a college student and I am looking forward to future challenges such as law school. I believe I can have a great time in college, while being a model student. However, it has not always been easy. I always try to excel at everything I do, but my first year in college was not an easy one, due to all the difficulties I faced as a new student in a new environment, in a different country. Perhaps the most challenging barrier I would have to overcome would be to master a new language.
I knew my former command of English was not going to help me too much in college, especially if I wanted to someday go to law school. My first few months in college were very demanding as I continued facing difficulties while adjusting to a new way of life and improving my English, realizing I not only needed to speak English well, but also write it. After receiving my first graded writing assignment the second week of school, on which the professor stated that if I wanted to be successful in college I was going to have to greatly improve my writing skills, I realized that I had a long road ahead of me, therefore the first thing I did after receiving my writing assignment was to go tell my professor, about my aspirations and how I wanted to someday go to law school. I ended up asking him for his advice, which he was happy to give, and which proved to be of much help. I definitely showed determination and willingness for improvement; because, a month before my first semester was over, I received a perfect score in a writing assignment and a personal note from my professor saying my essay had been perfectly written and how impressed he was by it. I knew I still had to get better at many aspects of writing. Therefore, I kept working hard to get better.
I was motivated to work harder than everyone else in class. My hard work and dedication have proved to be worth it; I received an A+ in every single writing assignment and made the Dean’s List during my junior year of college, and this year will be the same or even better as I continue my path to being the best student I can be.
Adapting to a new environment was not an easy feat, but I was ready for it, ready to try my best at whatever situation I could find myself in. I realized I had to take advantage of the opportunities I had in this great land, opportunities I had never enjoyed before in my life. I started to contemplate how many opportunities I did not have while living in the Dominican Republic; I decided that it was time for me to start appreciating the opportunities I had at the moment.
I have realized how being part of a minority group and living in a different culture than the one I grew up in has helped me understand better than ever the unique opportunities I have and how I far I can go. The liberties and opportunities I now enjoy give me hope to someday become a lawyer. I wish to help other people who also shared my cultural background understand the law I am trying to study and how every human being deserves the same opportunities as anyone. Many aspects of the law have fascinated me throughout my college years. I have had many classes that dealt with the law in one way or the other, from criminal and business law to learning about civil rights in constitutional law, and I am confident my interest in the law will only become stronger during my law school years.
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Miracle
- Posts: 929
- Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:25 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
integrity? I wonder what happened to it.lepradillo wrote:let us know how that works out for youfcomith wrote:Wow, gonna copy and paste one of these. Thanks for the free essays
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Celibidache
- Posts: 34
- Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:10 am
Re: Personal Statement Samples
Here's my contribution.
Lincoln was a tall man, much in the way that Andre the Giant was also tall, and with the same sideways heart and thick bones that made Andre the Giant look so much like a giant, and made Lincoln look like a guy who shouldn't have been photographed wearing that tall hat which made him look even taller, kinda like a chef only the wrong color, which for the times of his life, were taller even than if he lived today, in which case the hat wouldn't be a problem because it wouldn't exist, and some think and I might agree that he grew that beard because a little girl told him to because the more of that face that was covered up, the better, and you know it's bad if a little kid can't stand it, and we all know which one was took out by a southerner with three names, just like the guy who blew Teddy Kennedy's brain to pieces in the middle of the parade, and which one was killed by a crazy actor leaping from the stage onto the balcony to climax the scene with something not exactly in the script but which would read DEATH all in red caps if it was, and Andre the Giant has a small and dainty wife which must have made their personal lifes interesting to say the least, and Lincoln's wife was a spendthrift nutter, but at least Andrew the Giant got to drop dead naturally instead of be took out by ham actors with guns or book salesmen, but the Morphine Syndrome which made them both so tall and thickboned also caused their death before their old age began, and pretty much ended both the Civil War and any chance of a Princess Bride sequel.
Lincoln was a tall man, much in the way that Andre the Giant was also tall, and with the same sideways heart and thick bones that made Andre the Giant look so much like a giant, and made Lincoln look like a guy who shouldn't have been photographed wearing that tall hat which made him look even taller, kinda like a chef only the wrong color, which for the times of his life, were taller even than if he lived today, in which case the hat wouldn't be a problem because it wouldn't exist, and some think and I might agree that he grew that beard because a little girl told him to because the more of that face that was covered up, the better, and you know it's bad if a little kid can't stand it, and we all know which one was took out by a southerner with three names, just like the guy who blew Teddy Kennedy's brain to pieces in the middle of the parade, and which one was killed by a crazy actor leaping from the stage onto the balcony to climax the scene with something not exactly in the script but which would read DEATH all in red caps if it was, and Andre the Giant has a small and dainty wife which must have made their personal lifes interesting to say the least, and Lincoln's wife was a spendthrift nutter, but at least Andrew the Giant got to drop dead naturally instead of be took out by ham actors with guns or book salesmen, but the Morphine Syndrome which made them both so tall and thickboned also caused their death before their old age began, and pretty much ended both the Civil War and any chance of a Princess Bride sequel.
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summer_daze95
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:38 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
This is an early draft, I would appreciate any feedback:
I always knew that I wanted to study science. Then a highschool assignment as an introduction to a class led me to study the work of Stephen Lewis. While science was appealing to me, this project made something click. Science might allow me to study objects in the world and understand how they work together but studying law and politics would allow me to study the people who live in this world and how they work together and that which governs their interaction. What impacted me most was Mr. Lewis’s declaration that, “The world desperately needs your voices.” This assignment introduced me to more than the class, it introduced me to the field I belong in. As the class continued, this assignment was forgotten in the face of the steady stream of new papers and projects, but Mr. Lewis’ message stuck with me and has driven me to become more; more involved, more concerned, more passionate and more inspired.
Growing up in a small town afforded me with a special insight into the importance of involvement. My rugby coach was also my boss at the ski hill I taught at, my alpine race coach, my future roommate’s father and a local businessman. As President of my high school’s Student Athletic Council I worked with a city employee in the Recreation Department who was also my boss at the local pool, coordinator of the local summer camps and a friend of my parents. There is a sense of community and connectedness in a small town which can easily be taken for granted but not easily achieved, for it requires extensive involvement and participation by members to function.
My four years of undergraduate studies have afforded me many opportunities to become involved and help me build my voice. Paying my way through school required me to work two part time jobs, teaching me to manage my time and work well under pressure. Running the Big Buddies program taught me dedication and the ability to think on the spot. One of the most enlightening experiences of my undergraduate career was taking part in the National Model United Nations (NMUN) Simulation. Being selected to serve as my school’s delegate on the United Nations High Commissioner for refugees further developed my ability to formulate an argument and work with others to reach solutions. The hard work that earned our delegation the award of “Distinguished Delegation” at the International simulation in New York also enlightened me to many of the issues in the world today needing addressed, and the need to question what is going on around us, a realization which began during my involvement in awareness campaigns with the Global Issues Congress, and will pass on to this year’s NMUN delegation in my capacity as Head Delegate. I received another taste of political activity while serving as the student representative from the social science department on an Ad Hawk Senate Committee mandated to discuss the possibility of a new core curriculum for all Arts and science students. Running the campus bar was the culmination of skills I had acquired after four years. It required dedication to the daunting task of running a business as well as to maintaining a full course load and academic scholarships, which necessitated time management skills as never before. This responsibility also involved marketing and event planning, which helped to improve my creativity and organization. Managing a full staff and coordinating with the school’s administration and the students body forced me to develop extensive communication skills which will serve me well in the legal profession. Furthermore, this job has taught me that you cannot succeed without hard work, with my hard work rewarding me with becoming the first manager the bar has ever had to break even and begin to make a profit. All of these things enabled me to become more involved in and therefore connected to the community I was studying in.
The pursuit to be more involved has led me in many enriching and rewarding directions, and most recently it has taken on an international aspect. Having worked with children in the communities I have lived in, whether it be running summer camps, or teaching swimming or skiing, I learned the value and merits of building teamwork and self-esteem in a fun environment. With this in mind, myself and five of my peers have founded a camp with the assistance of a USA based non-governmental organization, The Children of Uganda, that will operate for three weeks of summer in Mukono, Uganda at the Sabina House. This camp will strive to empower the orphans of Sabina House and the surrounding community and build a sense of community while working on literacy and other skills. While this summer will be the first for the camp, it will hopefully continue for many years and benefit as many children as possible, helping them to build their own voices.
My desire and drive to pursue a career as a lawyer has been reaffirmed by my experience working at a law firm in my hometown. Working with two lawyers, each who specializes in different area of law, has helped me to develop an appreciation of what practicing law involves and the impact these individuals have on a community. If laws are the pillars of society, lawyers are the architects, engineers and construction workers. These lawyers showed me more than the correct way to file documents with the Court Clerk or write an Affidavit, they showed me how they could use their office to make a difference in the community. Whether it was donating time and resources to a Charity Golf tournament for the local hospital, working through the Office of the Children’s Lawyer with Child Services to make sure a child stays in a good home and out of a bad one or helping to find work for a client so she could maintain custody of her children, they were able to combine their passion for and knowledge of the law and their involvement in the community to make a positive contribution to the society they live in. This reiterated my confidence that this is the field I am meant to be in.
In my life I have refused to be a passive observer. I have strived to be an active citizen, whether it be in my school, my community or something larger. Obtaining a law degree from XXXX will help set me on the right path to use my voice, and allow me the opportunity to further pursue my commitment to become involved, wherever I may end up.
I always knew that I wanted to study science. Then a highschool assignment as an introduction to a class led me to study the work of Stephen Lewis. While science was appealing to me, this project made something click. Science might allow me to study objects in the world and understand how they work together but studying law and politics would allow me to study the people who live in this world and how they work together and that which governs their interaction. What impacted me most was Mr. Lewis’s declaration that, “The world desperately needs your voices.” This assignment introduced me to more than the class, it introduced me to the field I belong in. As the class continued, this assignment was forgotten in the face of the steady stream of new papers and projects, but Mr. Lewis’ message stuck with me and has driven me to become more; more involved, more concerned, more passionate and more inspired.
Growing up in a small town afforded me with a special insight into the importance of involvement. My rugby coach was also my boss at the ski hill I taught at, my alpine race coach, my future roommate’s father and a local businessman. As President of my high school’s Student Athletic Council I worked with a city employee in the Recreation Department who was also my boss at the local pool, coordinator of the local summer camps and a friend of my parents. There is a sense of community and connectedness in a small town which can easily be taken for granted but not easily achieved, for it requires extensive involvement and participation by members to function.
My four years of undergraduate studies have afforded me many opportunities to become involved and help me build my voice. Paying my way through school required me to work two part time jobs, teaching me to manage my time and work well under pressure. Running the Big Buddies program taught me dedication and the ability to think on the spot. One of the most enlightening experiences of my undergraduate career was taking part in the National Model United Nations (NMUN) Simulation. Being selected to serve as my school’s delegate on the United Nations High Commissioner for refugees further developed my ability to formulate an argument and work with others to reach solutions. The hard work that earned our delegation the award of “Distinguished Delegation” at the International simulation in New York also enlightened me to many of the issues in the world today needing addressed, and the need to question what is going on around us, a realization which began during my involvement in awareness campaigns with the Global Issues Congress, and will pass on to this year’s NMUN delegation in my capacity as Head Delegate. I received another taste of political activity while serving as the student representative from the social science department on an Ad Hawk Senate Committee mandated to discuss the possibility of a new core curriculum for all Arts and science students. Running the campus bar was the culmination of skills I had acquired after four years. It required dedication to the daunting task of running a business as well as to maintaining a full course load and academic scholarships, which necessitated time management skills as never before. This responsibility also involved marketing and event planning, which helped to improve my creativity and organization. Managing a full staff and coordinating with the school’s administration and the students body forced me to develop extensive communication skills which will serve me well in the legal profession. Furthermore, this job has taught me that you cannot succeed without hard work, with my hard work rewarding me with becoming the first manager the bar has ever had to break even and begin to make a profit. All of these things enabled me to become more involved in and therefore connected to the community I was studying in.
The pursuit to be more involved has led me in many enriching and rewarding directions, and most recently it has taken on an international aspect. Having worked with children in the communities I have lived in, whether it be running summer camps, or teaching swimming or skiing, I learned the value and merits of building teamwork and self-esteem in a fun environment. With this in mind, myself and five of my peers have founded a camp with the assistance of a USA based non-governmental organization, The Children of Uganda, that will operate for three weeks of summer in Mukono, Uganda at the Sabina House. This camp will strive to empower the orphans of Sabina House and the surrounding community and build a sense of community while working on literacy and other skills. While this summer will be the first for the camp, it will hopefully continue for many years and benefit as many children as possible, helping them to build their own voices.
My desire and drive to pursue a career as a lawyer has been reaffirmed by my experience working at a law firm in my hometown. Working with two lawyers, each who specializes in different area of law, has helped me to develop an appreciation of what practicing law involves and the impact these individuals have on a community. If laws are the pillars of society, lawyers are the architects, engineers and construction workers. These lawyers showed me more than the correct way to file documents with the Court Clerk or write an Affidavit, they showed me how they could use their office to make a difference in the community. Whether it was donating time and resources to a Charity Golf tournament for the local hospital, working through the Office of the Children’s Lawyer with Child Services to make sure a child stays in a good home and out of a bad one or helping to find work for a client so she could maintain custody of her children, they were able to combine their passion for and knowledge of the law and their involvement in the community to make a positive contribution to the society they live in. This reiterated my confidence that this is the field I am meant to be in.
In my life I have refused to be a passive observer. I have strived to be an active citizen, whether it be in my school, my community or something larger. Obtaining a law degree from XXXX will help set me on the right path to use my voice, and allow me the opportunity to further pursue my commitment to become involved, wherever I may end up.
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sternc
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
167
3.86
After two weeks at Gilber’s home, I had learned Costa Rican roosters did not come with snooze buttons. It was an hour when reasonable people, and farm animals, were sleeping, yet that damn rooster wanted me up. There was no use trying to sleep through it, so I threw off my blankets, went outside, and jumped into the ice-cold shower. Maybe a minute later I was out, not very clean, but certainly awake. Still shivering, I dressed, making sure to check if any tarantulas (big enforcers of trespassing codes) had decided to make my boots home for the evening. After a quick breakfast, it was time for the day’s work.
The nature of the work was visible through Gilber’s hands. After many years, his once useful and vigorous tools had deteriorated into the fifty-year-old antiques hanging by his sides. They were calloused and cripplingly arthritic. The pain was obvious in his eyes whether he was picking coffee beans, repairing a neighbor’s shed, or butchering a sow, but his work never slowed. Not once did he complain. As I worked beside him, constantly reminding myself of my supposed youth and vigor, I was moved.
I vividly remember looking down at my own pair. Dirty from working outside, but below that initial layer of dirt lay smooth hands. I realized the closest thing I had to a callous was where my pen sat between my thumb and forefinger. I was ashamed. The more I watched and got to know Gilber, the more I realized his hands, old and tired as they were, were symbols of his all-around approach to life.
Yes, his hands were the physical manifestation of a passionate dedication to his work, but they also represented the similar steadfast approach he took in all aspects of his life, including family, God, and community. He approached his faith, being a husband, father, brother, friend, and neighbor the same way his hands approached another day in the field, determined, regardless of the pain and personal sacrifice, to do what needed to be done, do it to the best of his abilities, and to go about it the right way.
My mother and father have all the aforementioned values, and they worked to instill them in all of their children. While they succeeded to an extent, there was something about seeing another example of such complete and absolute dedication, up close and personal. Maybe it was being a few thousand miles away in a place as different culturally as Costa Rica, or maybe I had finally reached a level of maturity where I was able to comprehend and put into perspective the things my parents had always done. Whatever the case was, Gilber's hands and actions left an indelible mark on me. I know my hands will never look like Gilber's, but I can embrace the things he embraced, the things that his hands represented. He helped me realize how important it is to live a life full of passion, dedication, love, family, and faith.
I had got into the habit of keeping a journal of my days in Costa Rica, and any given entry might detail a day or two’s events over the course of a page or so. Looking for inspiration for this essay, I was recently flipping through the journal when I got to an entry dated February 14th, 2007. Squeezed between two much longer and detailed entries were two underlined words: “his hands”. Though I had forgotten about the journal entry, the message behind it remains a vital part of my character. I know I have shortcomings, but just a moment thinking about Gilber and all his hands represented gives me the inspiration to be the best person I can. When I left for Costa Rica I was skeptical that I would have the life changing moment that people describe after a trip abroad. I never had such a moment, but a man and his hands did impact me in ways I could never have imagined.
3.86
After two weeks at Gilber’s home, I had learned Costa Rican roosters did not come with snooze buttons. It was an hour when reasonable people, and farm animals, were sleeping, yet that damn rooster wanted me up. There was no use trying to sleep through it, so I threw off my blankets, went outside, and jumped into the ice-cold shower. Maybe a minute later I was out, not very clean, but certainly awake. Still shivering, I dressed, making sure to check if any tarantulas (big enforcers of trespassing codes) had decided to make my boots home for the evening. After a quick breakfast, it was time for the day’s work.
The nature of the work was visible through Gilber’s hands. After many years, his once useful and vigorous tools had deteriorated into the fifty-year-old antiques hanging by his sides. They were calloused and cripplingly arthritic. The pain was obvious in his eyes whether he was picking coffee beans, repairing a neighbor’s shed, or butchering a sow, but his work never slowed. Not once did he complain. As I worked beside him, constantly reminding myself of my supposed youth and vigor, I was moved.
I vividly remember looking down at my own pair. Dirty from working outside, but below that initial layer of dirt lay smooth hands. I realized the closest thing I had to a callous was where my pen sat between my thumb and forefinger. I was ashamed. The more I watched and got to know Gilber, the more I realized his hands, old and tired as they were, were symbols of his all-around approach to life.
Yes, his hands were the physical manifestation of a passionate dedication to his work, but they also represented the similar steadfast approach he took in all aspects of his life, including family, God, and community. He approached his faith, being a husband, father, brother, friend, and neighbor the same way his hands approached another day in the field, determined, regardless of the pain and personal sacrifice, to do what needed to be done, do it to the best of his abilities, and to go about it the right way.
My mother and father have all the aforementioned values, and they worked to instill them in all of their children. While they succeeded to an extent, there was something about seeing another example of such complete and absolute dedication, up close and personal. Maybe it was being a few thousand miles away in a place as different culturally as Costa Rica, or maybe I had finally reached a level of maturity where I was able to comprehend and put into perspective the things my parents had always done. Whatever the case was, Gilber's hands and actions left an indelible mark on me. I know my hands will never look like Gilber's, but I can embrace the things he embraced, the things that his hands represented. He helped me realize how important it is to live a life full of passion, dedication, love, family, and faith.
I had got into the habit of keeping a journal of my days in Costa Rica, and any given entry might detail a day or two’s events over the course of a page or so. Looking for inspiration for this essay, I was recently flipping through the journal when I got to an entry dated February 14th, 2007. Squeezed between two much longer and detailed entries were two underlined words: “his hands”. Though I had forgotten about the journal entry, the message behind it remains a vital part of my character. I know I have shortcomings, but just a moment thinking about Gilber and all his hands represented gives me the inspiration to be the best person I can. When I left for Costa Rica I was skeptical that I would have the life changing moment that people describe after a trip abroad. I never had such a moment, but a man and his hands did impact me in ways I could never have imagined.
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sternc
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
167
3.86
After two weeks at Gilber’s home, I had learned Costa Rican roosters did not come with snooze buttons. It was an hour when reasonable people, and farm animals, were sleeping, yet that damn rooster wanted me up. There was no use trying to sleep through it, so I threw off my blankets, went outside, and jumped into the ice-cold shower. Maybe a minute later I was out, not very clean, but certainly awake. Still shivering, I dressed, making sure to check if any tarantulas (big enforcers of trespassing codes) had decided to make my boots home for the evening. After a quick breakfast, it was time for the day’s work.
The nature of the work was visible through Gilber’s hands. After many years, his once useful and vigorous tools had deteriorated into the fifty-year-old antiques hanging by his sides. They were calloused and cripplingly arthritic. The pain was obvious in his eyes whether he was picking coffee beans, repairing a neighbor’s shed, or butchering a sow, but his work never slowed. Not once did he complain. As I worked beside him, constantly reminding myself of my supposed youth and vigor, I was moved.
I vividly remember looking down at my own pair. Dirty from working outside, but below that initial layer of dirt lay smooth hands. I realized the closest thing I had to a callous was where my pen sat between my thumb and forefinger. I was ashamed. The more I watched and got to know Gilber, the more I realized his hands, old and tired as they were, were symbols of his all-around approach to life.
Yes, his hands were the physical manifestation of a passionate dedication to his work, but they also represented the similar steadfast approach he took in all aspects of his life, including family, God, and community. He approached his faith, being a husband, father, brother, friend, and neighbor the same way his hands approached another day in the field, determined, regardless of the pain and personal sacrifice, to do what needed to be done, do it to the best of his abilities, and to go about it the right way.
My mother and father have all the aforementioned values, and they worked to instill them in all of their children. While they succeeded to an extent, there was something about seeing another example of such complete and absolute dedication, up close and personal. Maybe it was being a few thousand miles away in a place as different culturally as Costa Rica, or maybe I had finally reached a level of maturity where I was able to comprehend and put into perspective the things my parents had always done. Whatever the case was, Gilber's hands and actions left an indelible mark on me. I know my hands will never look like Gilber's, but I can embrace the things he embraced, the things that his hands represented. He helped me realize how important it is to live a life full of passion, dedication, love, family, and faith.
I had got into the habit of keeping a journal of my days in Costa Rica, and any given entry might detail a day or two’s events over the course of a page or so. Looking for inspiration for this essay, I was recently flipping through the journal when I got to an entry dated February 14th, 2007. Squeezed between two much longer and detailed entries were two underlined words: “his hands”. Though I had forgotten about the journal entry, the message behind it remains a vital part of my character. I know I have shortcomings, but just a moment thinking about Gilber and all his hands represented gives me the inspiration to be the best person I can. When I left for Costa Rica I was skeptical that I would have the life changing moment that people describe after a trip abroad. I never had such a moment, but a man and his hands did impact me in ways I could never have imagined.
3.86
After two weeks at Gilber’s home, I had learned Costa Rican roosters did not come with snooze buttons. It was an hour when reasonable people, and farm animals, were sleeping, yet that damn rooster wanted me up. There was no use trying to sleep through it, so I threw off my blankets, went outside, and jumped into the ice-cold shower. Maybe a minute later I was out, not very clean, but certainly awake. Still shivering, I dressed, making sure to check if any tarantulas (big enforcers of trespassing codes) had decided to make my boots home for the evening. After a quick breakfast, it was time for the day’s work.
The nature of the work was visible through Gilber’s hands. After many years, his once useful and vigorous tools had deteriorated into the fifty-year-old antiques hanging by his sides. They were calloused and cripplingly arthritic. The pain was obvious in his eyes whether he was picking coffee beans, repairing a neighbor’s shed, or butchering a sow, but his work never slowed. Not once did he complain. As I worked beside him, constantly reminding myself of my supposed youth and vigor, I was moved.
I vividly remember looking down at my own pair. Dirty from working outside, but below that initial layer of dirt lay smooth hands. I realized the closest thing I had to a callous was where my pen sat between my thumb and forefinger. I was ashamed. The more I watched and got to know Gilber, the more I realized his hands, old and tired as they were, were symbols of his all-around approach to life.
Yes, his hands were the physical manifestation of a passionate dedication to his work, but they also represented the similar steadfast approach he took in all aspects of his life, including family, God, and community. He approached his faith, being a husband, father, brother, friend, and neighbor the same way his hands approached another day in the field, determined, regardless of the pain and personal sacrifice, to do what needed to be done, do it to the best of his abilities, and to go about it the right way.
My mother and father have all the aforementioned values, and they worked to instill them in all of their children. While they succeeded to an extent, there was something about seeing another example of such complete and absolute dedication, up close and personal. Maybe it was being a few thousand miles away in a place as different culturally as Costa Rica, or maybe I had finally reached a level of maturity where I was able to comprehend and put into perspective the things my parents had always done. Whatever the case was, Gilber's hands and actions left an indelible mark on me. I know my hands will never look like Gilber's, but I can embrace the things he embraced, the things that his hands represented. He helped me realize how important it is to live a life full of passion, dedication, love, family, and faith.
I had got into the habit of keeping a journal of my days in Costa Rica, and any given entry might detail a day or two’s events over the course of a page or so. Looking for inspiration for this essay, I was recently flipping through the journal when I got to an entry dated February 14th, 2007. Squeezed between two much longer and detailed entries were two underlined words: “his hands”. Though I had forgotten about the journal entry, the message behind it remains a vital part of my character. I know I have shortcomings, but just a moment thinking about Gilber and all his hands represented gives me the inspiration to be the best person I can. When I left for Costa Rica I was skeptical that I would have the life changing moment that people describe after a trip abroad. I never had such a moment, but a man and his hands did impact me in ways I could never have imagined.
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Miniver
- Posts: 119
- Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:13 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
...
Last edited by Miniver on Wed Jul 07, 2010 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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tommytahoe
- Posts: 548
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:46 pm
Re: Personal Statement Samples
OK, I'm breaking the rules, in that I don't yet have acceptances or rejections. But I don't need critiques or PS swapping either; the applications are in and I'm just waiting until I need to send out LOCIs down the road. This is just to contribute to the pool.
(this is the 3 - 4 page version many schools were Ok with; another 2-pager exists out there.)
163
3.78
Applied to 18 schools, from hopeless reaches like UVA, to safe bets like CUNY - Queens. Will add info later this year when I know wassup.
The Department of Homeland Security initiated removal proceedings against me in April 2006. The proceedings were terminated in May 2009, but their impact was lasting. They tested my emotional strength, taught me lessons about the law’s complexity, and sparked my drive to pursue law as a degree and a long-term career. I know that my route to law school has not been the conventional one, and I am proud of it. My personal experiences in law gave me the maturity and practical wisdoms that would bring a unique perspective to Blank Law School, and would make me a standout addition to your rising class profile.
I am a resident alien. Born in England thirty-seven years ago to a Welsh father and an Australian mother, I moved here with them and my siblings before I had learned to talk. This meant I could forego that odd transformation of accent that befalls so many an expat who moves to the States. I enjoyed a rich childhood and a full, dynamic education. And I soon came to appreciate that my international roots were a boon, and had broadened my world perspective. But I like baseball, not cricket, and I spent a good part of my childhood quietly distancing myself from the finer points of All Things British my parents held so dearly. I had always felt as if I were a real American, and having a green card allowed me to live as if I were one. I never once suspected that my alien status could affect me adversely.
A drug possession felony in 2003 would later expose this mistaken belief. This serious transgression was the culmination of two years of irresponsibility, and a symptom of my deeper sadness. Without an anchor, or a sense of purpose, I had fallen to a low, humiliating place to which I have vowed never to return. I was fortunate to have the felony expunged under California law after eighteen months in an outpatient treatment program, when I began the slow repairing of self-image and pride I had somehow lost along the way. In treatment classes I confronted stark truths about the fragility of the human spirit, and the power of second chances. Some men, brought face to face with the damages of their years, were reduced to sobbing openly. Some spoke with zest over their new sobriety, but I would see them months later, disheveled and gaunt, walking Oakland sidewalks in search of that same illusory escape. Moments like those haunted me, and I shared in the pain of those around me. I had come to know that I was a flawed man, but I was also surprised to find out how certain I was that I would endure this process. Many of those around me represented the path I could have taken. I knew exactly how close I had come to a fate far worse than mine, and did not need to be shown twice.
Before long I had left those days behind me. I built up savings for university, formed sustaining friendships, and discovered a love of cycling. I emerged from the experience with a richer respect for the rule of law, and a resoluteness of character, qualities that would complement your school well. I have spent every moment since 2003 deeply committed to taking advantage of the opportunity for change the law has given me.
So when I was told upon return from vacation in Australia that I was to appear at immigration court, I was thrown completely off balance. I had worked hard to clear my name under California law, but was now faced with the distinct threat of removal from my home of over thirty years. Those in recovery circles preach the value of “taking it one day at a time.” Removal proceedings forced me to live on a day-to-day basis —informed by a simmering sense of insecurity, and the frank knowledge that any time soon I may be told to leave. How does one prepare for this event, when even life’s short-term plans may be made moot by sudden circumstances?
As the case progressed, I decided to return to university to finish my Bachelor of Arts degree, searching for the intellectual discovery that ten years as a waiter had not given me. It is the best decision I have ever made. I set a new path for my future, at a time when that future remained very much in doubt. And, along the way I became increasingly drawn to the internal world of law. I had lived criminal law up-close, and had felt its power to punish, and to forgive. I was now blessed with an excellent immigration attorney who worked assiduously on my case, protecting my future in America. For three years, in ongoing emails, she explained the facts of my case in thorough detail, even as my questions became increasingly complicated. I now see that it was in those emails that my fascination with the law began to take hold. It was then, also, that I chose to pursue a law degree, to give to others some of what I had been given myself.
The past three years have given me a compelling inside look at immigration law, and a sophisticated understanding of the many competing interests at stake. With removal proceedings over, I came to Washington as part of an intern-study program, to explore immigration law in greater depth. Interning at the ABA Commission on Immigration, I quickly had to grasp some of the labyrinthine procedures of immigration law, and apply them to the lives of individuals. This investigative process engrossed me: for every legal layer I peeled away, several fascinating ones lay beneath it. For my research seminar, I wrote a 30-page paper examining due process rights in three key immigration law cases, presenting my findings before a panel led by a Department of Justice attorney. The paper was an intellectual challenge, requiring that I wade deep into constitutional debates to which I had had little previous exposure. I came away from Washington with a nuanced appreciation for the theoretical and practical applications of law, and a discovery that immigration law is an important and complicated field that cries out for serious legal reform.
My main duty at the ABA was to read and respond to daily letters from noncitizen detainees writing to ask for legal aid, or even sympathy. I often came across mail from a detainee who wrote that I was the only one who had responded to her letters. I was constrained by the fact that our office did not provide legal advice, and it is sobering to know that the materials I sent them may have had no real impact on their removal cases. Yet still I felt a powerful sense of professional responsibility to those who asked for my aid. Not because my circumstances were ever as dire as theirs, but because I understand what it is like to go to the wrong side of the law. And I know that when we do, it can become much harder to seek out the law’s protections. Access to counsel is the greatest obstacle noncitizen detainees face and, if acquired, can make all the difference. I approach law school with first-hand knowledge of the fundamental value skillful counsel can give someone who needs it, and the determination to extend that same quality of service to my own noncitizen clients once I graduate.
My path to this point has not been the traditional one. But while I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else, it has provided me with a unique and varied perspective of the law, from the inside out. These past years have given me strength, and wisdom, and I am absolutely a better man because of it. As I look to continue my legal education, I see my moral lessons and my practical insights as invaluable assets that would provide depth and character to BLANK Law School, and would make me a dedicated member of your graduating class of 2013.
(this is the 3 - 4 page version many schools were Ok with; another 2-pager exists out there.)
163
3.78
Applied to 18 schools, from hopeless reaches like UVA, to safe bets like CUNY - Queens. Will add info later this year when I know wassup.
The Department of Homeland Security initiated removal proceedings against me in April 2006. The proceedings were terminated in May 2009, but their impact was lasting. They tested my emotional strength, taught me lessons about the law’s complexity, and sparked my drive to pursue law as a degree and a long-term career. I know that my route to law school has not been the conventional one, and I am proud of it. My personal experiences in law gave me the maturity and practical wisdoms that would bring a unique perspective to Blank Law School, and would make me a standout addition to your rising class profile.
I am a resident alien. Born in England thirty-seven years ago to a Welsh father and an Australian mother, I moved here with them and my siblings before I had learned to talk. This meant I could forego that odd transformation of accent that befalls so many an expat who moves to the States. I enjoyed a rich childhood and a full, dynamic education. And I soon came to appreciate that my international roots were a boon, and had broadened my world perspective. But I like baseball, not cricket, and I spent a good part of my childhood quietly distancing myself from the finer points of All Things British my parents held so dearly. I had always felt as if I were a real American, and having a green card allowed me to live as if I were one. I never once suspected that my alien status could affect me adversely.
A drug possession felony in 2003 would later expose this mistaken belief. This serious transgression was the culmination of two years of irresponsibility, and a symptom of my deeper sadness. Without an anchor, or a sense of purpose, I had fallen to a low, humiliating place to which I have vowed never to return. I was fortunate to have the felony expunged under California law after eighteen months in an outpatient treatment program, when I began the slow repairing of self-image and pride I had somehow lost along the way. In treatment classes I confronted stark truths about the fragility of the human spirit, and the power of second chances. Some men, brought face to face with the damages of their years, were reduced to sobbing openly. Some spoke with zest over their new sobriety, but I would see them months later, disheveled and gaunt, walking Oakland sidewalks in search of that same illusory escape. Moments like those haunted me, and I shared in the pain of those around me. I had come to know that I was a flawed man, but I was also surprised to find out how certain I was that I would endure this process. Many of those around me represented the path I could have taken. I knew exactly how close I had come to a fate far worse than mine, and did not need to be shown twice.
Before long I had left those days behind me. I built up savings for university, formed sustaining friendships, and discovered a love of cycling. I emerged from the experience with a richer respect for the rule of law, and a resoluteness of character, qualities that would complement your school well. I have spent every moment since 2003 deeply committed to taking advantage of the opportunity for change the law has given me.
So when I was told upon return from vacation in Australia that I was to appear at immigration court, I was thrown completely off balance. I had worked hard to clear my name under California law, but was now faced with the distinct threat of removal from my home of over thirty years. Those in recovery circles preach the value of “taking it one day at a time.” Removal proceedings forced me to live on a day-to-day basis —informed by a simmering sense of insecurity, and the frank knowledge that any time soon I may be told to leave. How does one prepare for this event, when even life’s short-term plans may be made moot by sudden circumstances?
As the case progressed, I decided to return to university to finish my Bachelor of Arts degree, searching for the intellectual discovery that ten years as a waiter had not given me. It is the best decision I have ever made. I set a new path for my future, at a time when that future remained very much in doubt. And, along the way I became increasingly drawn to the internal world of law. I had lived criminal law up-close, and had felt its power to punish, and to forgive. I was now blessed with an excellent immigration attorney who worked assiduously on my case, protecting my future in America. For three years, in ongoing emails, she explained the facts of my case in thorough detail, even as my questions became increasingly complicated. I now see that it was in those emails that my fascination with the law began to take hold. It was then, also, that I chose to pursue a law degree, to give to others some of what I had been given myself.
The past three years have given me a compelling inside look at immigration law, and a sophisticated understanding of the many competing interests at stake. With removal proceedings over, I came to Washington as part of an intern-study program, to explore immigration law in greater depth. Interning at the ABA Commission on Immigration, I quickly had to grasp some of the labyrinthine procedures of immigration law, and apply them to the lives of individuals. This investigative process engrossed me: for every legal layer I peeled away, several fascinating ones lay beneath it. For my research seminar, I wrote a 30-page paper examining due process rights in three key immigration law cases, presenting my findings before a panel led by a Department of Justice attorney. The paper was an intellectual challenge, requiring that I wade deep into constitutional debates to which I had had little previous exposure. I came away from Washington with a nuanced appreciation for the theoretical and practical applications of law, and a discovery that immigration law is an important and complicated field that cries out for serious legal reform.
My main duty at the ABA was to read and respond to daily letters from noncitizen detainees writing to ask for legal aid, or even sympathy. I often came across mail from a detainee who wrote that I was the only one who had responded to her letters. I was constrained by the fact that our office did not provide legal advice, and it is sobering to know that the materials I sent them may have had no real impact on their removal cases. Yet still I felt a powerful sense of professional responsibility to those who asked for my aid. Not because my circumstances were ever as dire as theirs, but because I understand what it is like to go to the wrong side of the law. And I know that when we do, it can become much harder to seek out the law’s protections. Access to counsel is the greatest obstacle noncitizen detainees face and, if acquired, can make all the difference. I approach law school with first-hand knowledge of the fundamental value skillful counsel can give someone who needs it, and the determination to extend that same quality of service to my own noncitizen clients once I graduate.
My path to this point has not been the traditional one. But while I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else, it has provided me with a unique and varied perspective of the law, from the inside out. These past years have given me strength, and wisdom, and I am absolutely a better man because of it. As I look to continue my legal education, I see my moral lessons and my practical insights as invaluable assets that would provide depth and character to BLANK Law School, and would make me a dedicated member of your graduating class of 2013.
-
druss3ll
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:38 am
Re: Personal Statement Samples
LSAT: 165
GPA: 2.7 (i know, i know, still wondering if I should include an explanatory addendum or not)
I'm applying to a broad mix from badass top schools that I'll never get into all the way down to some super safeties. Here's to hoping.
Feedback would be appreciated, just for my peace of mind, or lack thereof, while I wait for replies.
Thanks!
-----------------------------------
Around me was a world of blue: the sky as it can only be appreciated from the inside, nearly 6,000 feet up. In stark contrast, under my feet lay the barren moonscape of Mount Washington's famous Tuckerman's Ravine trail, all sharp gray gravel and granite boulders pockmarked by lightning scars. Every rise in the trail promised a glimpse of the summit's radio towers but delivered only another mound of tantalizing rocks. However, far from being disheartened, I was grateful for the prolongation of my journey. The serenity of solitude and the tangible, physical goal of struggling toward a summit were providing a soothing backdrop to a great moral struggle. I was slowly determining to escape my life in a cult.
As newly converted catholics, my parents had been easy prey for an organization characterized by eager youthful faces and couched in the trappings of Catholicism. So I was sent off with the Legion of Christ at the tender age of twelve to dedicate my life to the priesthood at a seminary in distant New Hampshire. For the first two years I was content, a young boy living in a whirlwind schedule of sports and school with sixty like-minded peers, but as I matured I began to realize that my closely regulated world was not what it seemed.
In my third year, in typical teenage fashion, I began questioning the fundamental rules of the organization. Why were we not allowed unsupervised communication with our peers? Why was there no free time in the schedule? Why was incoming and outgoing mail screened? Their response was to link the way things were done to "god's will" and promise that deviations therefrom would guarantee me a spot in hell. I was thus held in place by a powerful combination of guilt and fear.
But motivated by my increasing unhappiness under this regime, I took note of their inconsistencies. For example, preaching about the importance of conscience was followed immediately with directives about how we should allow ourselves to feel about specific situations. We were told that humility was paramount, but the leader, supposedly a living saint, had established his birthday as a celebration on par with Christmas and Easter. Under the weight of many discrepancies such as these I was finally able to break the stranglehold on my conscious and conclude that I was simply being manipulated, leading to the hardest decision I could face.
Separation meant leaving behind everything I knew in the world. And though I had logically dissolved my belief in their authority, the emotional guilt and fear linger strongly. However, I had inadvertently been given the tools I needed to complete my exit by the very methods meant to help contain me. Through all the physical exertion, hiking, calisthenics, and grounds work they had put us through to keep us too busy and tired for questions, they had ingrained in me an exceptional determination. With growing confidence in my conclusion that I was being manipulated, I finally brought my physical determination to bear on my moral dilemma and after five years, I mustered the courage to escape.
Back on Mount Washington, the radio towers did eventually come into view, followed by the weather station, the cog railway, Vermont, Maine and Canada. But like the tantalizing mounds of rock along the trail, the summit proved different than expected. Much more than a destination, it was an opportunity to gain perspective on the smaller surrounding mountains to be climbed next. I am grateful everyday to have escaped, but I do not regret the experience of battling my way out. Now, with nearly ten years between myself and that struggle, I can appreciate the lessons and skills that it taught me and use it to keep the fresh challenges of life in perspective.
I entered my freshman year of college scared out of my mind. I was potentially the only entering freshman who had not had an unregulated conversation with a peer in five years, who could not name a single movie, fashion, or artist from the same period. I was like a foreigner without a mother country for support. But with the never-despair attitude and self-confidence I had gained I set myself wholeheartedly to the task of integrating myself with American culture and emerged from college with friendships I would not trade for the world. As a patent researcher my mind, trained by ignoring the noise of false manipulative arguments, helped me separate irrelevant details and get to the crux of my projects. I began working in patent law because I enjoy the convergence of analysis, strategy and technology that make up its core. But when I had the opportunity to speak directly with inventors and witnessed the passion they had invested in their work, it was my own experience of the suppression of my rights and freedom that made real to me the importance of protecting theirs.
GPA: 2.7 (i know, i know, still wondering if I should include an explanatory addendum or not)
I'm applying to a broad mix from badass top schools that I'll never get into all the way down to some super safeties. Here's to hoping.
Feedback would be appreciated, just for my peace of mind, or lack thereof, while I wait for replies.
Thanks!
-----------------------------------
Around me was a world of blue: the sky as it can only be appreciated from the inside, nearly 6,000 feet up. In stark contrast, under my feet lay the barren moonscape of Mount Washington's famous Tuckerman's Ravine trail, all sharp gray gravel and granite boulders pockmarked by lightning scars. Every rise in the trail promised a glimpse of the summit's radio towers but delivered only another mound of tantalizing rocks. However, far from being disheartened, I was grateful for the prolongation of my journey. The serenity of solitude and the tangible, physical goal of struggling toward a summit were providing a soothing backdrop to a great moral struggle. I was slowly determining to escape my life in a cult.
As newly converted catholics, my parents had been easy prey for an organization characterized by eager youthful faces and couched in the trappings of Catholicism. So I was sent off with the Legion of Christ at the tender age of twelve to dedicate my life to the priesthood at a seminary in distant New Hampshire. For the first two years I was content, a young boy living in a whirlwind schedule of sports and school with sixty like-minded peers, but as I matured I began to realize that my closely regulated world was not what it seemed.
In my third year, in typical teenage fashion, I began questioning the fundamental rules of the organization. Why were we not allowed unsupervised communication with our peers? Why was there no free time in the schedule? Why was incoming and outgoing mail screened? Their response was to link the way things were done to "god's will" and promise that deviations therefrom would guarantee me a spot in hell. I was thus held in place by a powerful combination of guilt and fear.
But motivated by my increasing unhappiness under this regime, I took note of their inconsistencies. For example, preaching about the importance of conscience was followed immediately with directives about how we should allow ourselves to feel about specific situations. We were told that humility was paramount, but the leader, supposedly a living saint, had established his birthday as a celebration on par with Christmas and Easter. Under the weight of many discrepancies such as these I was finally able to break the stranglehold on my conscious and conclude that I was simply being manipulated, leading to the hardest decision I could face.
Separation meant leaving behind everything I knew in the world. And though I had logically dissolved my belief in their authority, the emotional guilt and fear linger strongly. However, I had inadvertently been given the tools I needed to complete my exit by the very methods meant to help contain me. Through all the physical exertion, hiking, calisthenics, and grounds work they had put us through to keep us too busy and tired for questions, they had ingrained in me an exceptional determination. With growing confidence in my conclusion that I was being manipulated, I finally brought my physical determination to bear on my moral dilemma and after five years, I mustered the courage to escape.
Back on Mount Washington, the radio towers did eventually come into view, followed by the weather station, the cog railway, Vermont, Maine and Canada. But like the tantalizing mounds of rock along the trail, the summit proved different than expected. Much more than a destination, it was an opportunity to gain perspective on the smaller surrounding mountains to be climbed next. I am grateful everyday to have escaped, but I do not regret the experience of battling my way out. Now, with nearly ten years between myself and that struggle, I can appreciate the lessons and skills that it taught me and use it to keep the fresh challenges of life in perspective.
I entered my freshman year of college scared out of my mind. I was potentially the only entering freshman who had not had an unregulated conversation with a peer in five years, who could not name a single movie, fashion, or artist from the same period. I was like a foreigner without a mother country for support. But with the never-despair attitude and self-confidence I had gained I set myself wholeheartedly to the task of integrating myself with American culture and emerged from college with friendships I would not trade for the world. As a patent researcher my mind, trained by ignoring the noise of false manipulative arguments, helped me separate irrelevant details and get to the crux of my projects. I began working in patent law because I enjoy the convergence of analysis, strategy and technology that make up its core. But when I had the opportunity to speak directly with inventors and witnessed the passion they had invested in their work, it was my own experience of the suppression of my rights and freedom that made real to me the importance of protecting theirs.
Seriously? What are you waiting for?
Now there's a charge.
Just kidding ... it's still FREE!
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