Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

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deadpanic
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Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby deadpanic » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:37 am

Zach - Huge splitter. LSAT in the middle 170s. Would ED to UVA (his nickname is preppy), but fail out after 1L.

Jessie - Reverse splitter. Middle of the road LSAT would keep her out of the T14. Would go to somewhere like American and be all like "They are #2 in clinical training" and "American is really up and coming - they are rising in the rankings." Would be a complete gunner and transfer to somewhere not fun like Chicago after 1L.

Slater - Shitty LSAT, but URM with good softs (Div 1 athlete, lived all over the world). High school hero that can't let go so would go to somewhere like Loyola.

Just saw the one where they are choosing colleges; great way to start the day.
Stansbury, the Harvard of the West.

What about the others?

Usernamepassword
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby Usernamepassword » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:41 am

Screech = Yale.

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thickfreakness
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby thickfreakness » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:45 am

Usernamepassword wrote:Screech = Yale.


TITCR

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SHARK WEEK!
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby SHARK WEEK! » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:47 am

Dude. THANK YOU for starting this thread. My turn:

Screech - Three LSAT re-takes, but mediocre upward trend. Nails the games section on his final test despite a mild freakout on reading comp. His highest score: 166, which coupled with his 3.62 is good enough for Emory, Notre Dame, WUSTL and a waitlist at BC. He was rejected at USC, to which he blames a bogus LOR from Principal Belding. Screech is close to graduating when he is booted for alleged molestation charges brought by Lisa Turtle, his law school colleague at Emory. The case was made worse when Screech retorted: "Well, that bitty is only here on affirmative action anyways.." And he was thus kicked out of law school for these racial remarks. I'm not going to drag this out: Screech ended up doing porn. Really, that's what he did. Go look it up on the internet.

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GATORTIM
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby GATORTIM » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:49 am

I seriously don't think Zack would hit anywhere near 170. I'm thinking more high 50s, LOW 60's. He would likely end up at a Whittier, Southwestern, Cal Western or perhaps a Loyola if he got a strong LOR from his lardass boss at the Malibu Sands Beach Club

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deadpanic
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby deadpanic » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:50 am

Usernamepassword wrote:Screech = Yale.


Does he have the softs? I mean, he invented a great pimple cream, but it had really bad side effects.

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deadpanic
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby deadpanic » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:51 am

GATORTIM wrote:I seriously don't think Zack would hit anywhere near 170. I'm thinking more high 50s, LOW 60's. He would likely end up at a Whittier, Southwestern, Cal Western or perhaps a Loyola if he got a strong LOR from his lardass boss at the Malibu Sands Beach Club


He got a 1502 on his SAT and was recruited hard by Stansbury. Zach would tear the LSAT up, but his low GPA is a killer.

Also, wasn't Screech on Saved by the Bell for like 15 years? Even when they came up with all those shitty "new classes" of SBTB? I'd say he turns down S to go somewhere like USC on a full ride to volunteer at Bayside in his free time.
Last edited by deadpanic on Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:56 am, edited 2 times in total.

narkizopoint
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby narkizopoint » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:55 am

No way Zack fails out. I agree he aces the LSAT and probably the GMAT, gets a dual JD/MBA but graduates under median (but that's okay cuz he goes to Harvard/Stansbury Law) and with his father's biz connections lands a totally awesome position in a fortune 500.

Jessie is reverse splitter ends up at Oregon for their environmental law rep and liberal reputation in Eugene. She fails the CA bar three times before finally squeaking by, ends up as some governmental appointee on some outlandish environmental regulatory board in CA and eventually butts heads with Zack's company.

Slater doesn't go to law school and actually sleeps on a couch in Screech's garage.

Lisa goes to harvard ($$,Urm,decent GPA and LSAT) marries rich and never does anything with her degree.

Screech finally outs himself as a 3L and discovers a new found confidence that always kept him out of touch with his peers. He transfers to Boalt from Yale to be with his boyfriend who also attends boalt.

Okay, just wasted entirely too much time on this. Time to put on some Zack Attack music and do some work.

tropskys
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby tropskys » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:55 am

You guys are completely forgetting the gang's celebrity status because of their world touring group "The Zack Attack". Thus, they were able to get letters of recommendations from people like Casey Casem, Boy George and Madonna solidifiying their acceptance into T-20 schools that love celebrities such as USC, UCLA, and Harvard. :lol:

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holydonkey
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby holydonkey » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:04 am

Mr. Belding - Northwestern, because he's really old.

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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby Usernamepassword » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:08 am

.
Last edited by Usernamepassword on Wed Mar 31, 2010 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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ozarkhack
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby ozarkhack » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:12 am

deadpanic wrote:Jessie ... Would be a complete gunner and transfer to somewhere not fun like Chicago after 1L.


Clearly not.

This is what happens right before her first round of 1L finals. And, obviously, she drops out to restore her health. And make Showgirls II: Revenge of the Terrible.

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jlnoa0915
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby jlnoa0915 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:13 am

Usernamepassword wrote:
deadpanic wrote:
Usernamepassword wrote:Screech = Yale.


Does he have the softs? I mean, he invented a great pimple cream, but it had really bad side effects.


Porn experience is soft enough for them...Imagine that on the viewbook. "2 Olympians, 3 Emmy winners, 1 porn star......"


Thank you for making my day at the office bearable, hilarious.

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CoutureChiq
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby CoutureChiq » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:27 pm

What about Kelly?

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holydonkey
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby holydonkey » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:37 pm

CoutureChiq wrote:What about Kelly?

Kelly has a high LSAC GPA because she was smart and transferred from a community college. However, she's pretty dumb overall, so her LSAT would be very low. Perfect for Boalt. However her family is poor (thus the decision to attend community college before The College Years), so she could never afford Berkeley. She will attend Hastings or Davis on a half scholarship.

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pjo
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby pjo » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:39 pm

CoutureChiq wrote:What about Kelly?



Harvard, taking the Elle Woods approach w/ the Bikini video essay, playing volleyball on the beach. Also raises LSAT score astronomically by studying over greek week at...USC?

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deadpanic
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby deadpanic » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:42 pm

CoutureChiq wrote:What about Kelly?


Kelly is one of those people that went around college saying they were 'pre-med' even though this is really not a real major. Then she took a semester off and never returned. She is going to ITT Tech where all the ex-strippers go to "make sumthin 4 myself lol" to become a dental assistant.

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Rowinguy2009
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby Rowinguy2009 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:48 pm

This is the best thread ever

SimplyC26
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby SimplyC26 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:50 pm

Zach- Northwestern

Slater- University of Miami

Screech- Yale

Lisa- Columbia

Kelly- UC Davis

Jessie- Boalt

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AdmiralNelson
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby AdmiralNelson » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:54 pm

Rowinguy2009 wrote:This is the best thread ever


I don't have a very long history on TLS, but I'd endorse this as true with a 95% certainty level.

valley splitter
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby valley splitter » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:55 pm

holydonkey wrote:
CoutureChiq wrote:What about Kelly?

Kelly has a high LSAC GPA because she was smart and transferred from a community college. However, she's pretty dumb overall, so her LSAT would be very low. Perfect for Boalt. However her family is poor (thus the decision to attend community college before The College Years), so she could never afford Berkeley. She will attend Hastings or Davis on a half scholarship.


I'd pay for Kelly's Boalt tuition if I could sleep with her whenever I wanted. I'd love to be a partner and have her under me, literally and figuratively.

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Rowinguy2009
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby Rowinguy2009 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:03 pm

But I think some of them are being given too much credit...... Zach getting into Northwestern or UVA?

Zach- Loyola

Jessie- Georgetttown

Slater- University of Hawaii

Screech- Yale

Kelly-Florida Coastal

Lisa- Emory

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deadpanic
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby deadpanic » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:13 pm

Rowinguy2009 wrote:But I think some of them are being given too much credit...... Zach getting into Northwestern or UVA?


Dude, he was recruited by Stansbury. F*CKING STANSBURY, man. It is the Harvard of the West. He Zack Attacks standardized tests; with ED he is in UVA. Rejected by Northwestern because he is not a 40 year old economist.

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taw856
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby taw856 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:18 pm

At least one of them ends up at Pepperdine.

mhernton
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Re: Where would the Saved by the Bell cast go to law school?

Postby mhernton » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:20 pm

Sorry, Jesse at UNLV where she fails out and becomes the headliners in Showgirls....




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