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Hey everybody!

Let's get to the point:

LSAT 155/160
GPA 2.7 @ Marquette

Changed major from BIO to poli sic after my second year. That messed me up pretty bad. Really bad. Actually I was dismissed from the university three consecutive times, my first three semesters. Always wrote appeals and always got back in.
Here is my PS:

Successes and setbacks frame my story. I’ve walked with my brothers in the slums of Ghana and played with native children in the high desert of New Mexico. I’ve worked with merchants on the beaches of the Dominican Republic and followed a Congressman through the halls of Capitol Hill awaiting my next set of instructions. I’ve felt the cold slap in the face of not realizing my expectations; the fall from grace can be harsh. These are some of the experiences that have influenced me.
Why pursue Law? My future is working as a lobbyist and a law school’s training program will help me with my vocation. I have always had an interest in politics and want to be able to impact policy in a way other than simply casting my vote or writing my congressman. I want to be a part of the process.
From my conversations with people on the Hill during my Les Aspin internship as well as what I've read during my studies at Marquette, our government is as embroiled as it has ever been. As a lobbyist I would be in a position to do something about it. The popular view of lobbying is misleading. During the Lobbying Disclosure Act of 1995 and the subsequent Honest Leadership and Open Government Act of 2007 legitimate steps were taken to to assure the hustler lifestyle lobbying portrayed in the past is just that, a thing of the past. I met several lobbyists while I was in DC and I found them to be genuine, hard working people; I would be proud to call myself a member of that group.
My love of law stems from a more practical inclination. The training and experiences I get during law school will afford me necessary skills for my vocation. Studying and analyzing cases will teach me the impressive skills possessed by a JD of interpreting vast amounts of information and esoteric data. The duration of my studies will be spent improving the written and lingual communications skills intrinsic to the profession. Success in law school will minimize inefficient and illogical strategies used in daily tasks and lifelong goals. I will learn and cultivate highly effective approaches while undertaking law school course work, career activities, or even relationships and leisure. The implicit result of the activities mentioned is the development of effective problem solving skills that will assist me in my own life as well as for the trade groups, non-profits and companies a lobbyist might represent.
Every major accomplishment I have achieved required both hard work and commitment. As a boy I successfully climbed the ranks of Scouting over a thirteen-year period to become an Eagle Scout and with it the ability to lead was stitched into my DNA. I committed many hours of service to my community during those formative years during which the importance and responsibility towards such acts was awakened. After graduating from college I fell into trade work and put in 60-hour workweeks. I saw profitable pursuits turn stale and drain ambition from the men who were treacherously promised financial freedom. These experiences were critical to a fundamental realization that has cemented itself in my mind. It is one thing to be told by others, but to realize through experience that I can only achieve success through unrelenting effort and intense dedication has had a profound affect on me.
I must give service to society and my community. A law degree will stimulate my ability to influence and lead those around me to assert positive change in this world. I have energy and I am excited about what tomorrow brings. It may sound corny, but I’ve travelled outside of the U.S. and what I took away from those experiences is that I love this country. The phrase “America the Beautiful” is not a cliché. I still believe in the American Dream. As long as I go out there and try, I feel like in the long run I can win. I expect life will not always go my way but I am tenacious and hungry for success. At Marquette we say, "Be the Difference," and I will do exactly that.
As the first person in my family to graduate college I am aware of the opportunity that has been afforded to me. I’ve succeeded in making the most of that opportunity even though I’ve had bumps along the way. I’ve been fortunate enough to see the other side and am extremely grateful for the influence education is having on my life’s trajectory. I will always remain a life-long learner.
I have come along way since I first began writing this statement. It has been an incredibly difficult process of reflection and exposition. What has just been read leaves me incredibly vulnerable to the piercing eyes and wit of the [SCHOOL] admission counsel. But I am comfortable with that notion. I believe I will be accepted or denied on my merits when examined in their entirety. My statement is my own. I share my beliefs and passions through the stories and adventures I’ve outlined above. You’ve read my goals and sentiments as I have viewed them through deliberate reflection. What I want more than anything is the opportunity to study Law and I look forward to the opportunity to show you what I will do.


Sorry it isn't formatted. I'm a first gen college grad. I think that helps… a little. I'm not trying to get into anything elite but want to do as good for myself as I can.

To be blunt: Too much flowery BS & too little substance.

This is poorly written because it is not clear & concise, and because it lacks substance. You need to start with a theme and then develop that theme throughout the remaing paragraphs. Clarity is important.

Yup that's exactly what i was afraid of.

My problem is this. I'm telling the truth. I feel like every time i read somebodies life story in these other PS's i feel like i am being manipulated and stop reading. I don't want to just jump in and be uniform, but I am worried I may have to.

No problem with "telling the truth", the issue is how you do this. You need to communicate a message about yourself in a fashion that is clear, concise & developed around a well thought-out theme. Law schools want writers who demonstrate clarity of thought. This, in large part, means telling your story in a succinct & logical manner; it is not about making random statements. Try to simplify your writing style by organizing your thoughts around a theme that is developed & supported by each paragraph.

I don't think the paragraph below is effective or helpful. It's really vague, which isn't shocking because you haven't been to law school yet, so you don't really know what it entails, but it's entirely unclear how law school will help you acquire the skills etc you describe here, or how law school will help *you* do that as opposed to any other people going to law school. (How will success in law school minimize inefficiency/illogic? I think any lawyer can point you to plenty of inefficient/illogical lawyers that they know.) Further, you don't need to tell adcomms what you law school will do for you. They know that; they want to hear about you.

My love of law stems from a more practical inclination. The training and experiences I get during law school will afford me necessary skills for my vocation. Studying and analyzing cases will teach me the impressive skills possessed by a JD of interpreting vast amounts of information and esoteric data. The duration of my studies will be spent improving the written and lingual communications skills intrinsic to the profession. Success in law school will minimize inefficient and illogical strategies used in daily tasks and lifelong goals. I will learn and cultivate highly effective approaches while undertaking law school course work, career activities, or even relationships and leisure. The implicit result of the activities mentioned is the development of effective problem solving skills that will assist me in my own life as well as for the trade groups, non-profits and companies a lobbyist might represent.

My reaction was that your experience with lobbyists and with trade work sounded more interesting because they were actually about you and what you'd done, and had the potential to provide more specifics around a concrete theme. How exactly did the search for financial freedom doom the people you refer to? What does this mean?

Also, this is problematic:

I have come along way since I first began writing this statement. It has been an incredibly difficult process of reflection and exposition. What has just been read leaves me incredibly vulnerable to the piercing eyes and wit of the [SCHOOL] admission counsel. But I am comfortable with that notion. I believe I will be accepted or denied on my merits when examined in their entirety. My statement is my own. I share my beliefs and passions through the stories and adventures I’ve outlined above. You’ve read my goals and sentiments as I have viewed them through deliberate reflection. What I want more than anything is the opportunity to study Law and I look forward to the opportunity to show you what I will do.

Do you really mean that you've come a long way since beginning to write the statement? Did you start writing it when you were 17 or something? And I don't think editorializing about what adcomms will think of your statement is helpful. Again, tell adcomms about yourself, something they don't know. They know you want to go to law school because you've applied. They know the PS represents your goals and sentiments because it's a PS. You don't need to tell them these things.

Great. I appreciate the input and will do what I can to improve in that regard.

I'm wondering what the consensus on where I should apply might be? Obviously I want to be in DC and believe Catholic may be my only shot. I believe by June I could score near the mid 160's if I continued to study.

I'm lost in this while process to be honest and any advice is appreciated.

My reaction was that your experience with lobbyists and with trade work sounded more interesting because they were actually about you and what you'd done, and had the potential to provide more specifics around a concrete theme. How exactly did the search for financial freedom doom the people you refer to? What does this mean?

That particular sentence was rewritten probably ten times, toning it down down with every attempt. That work was hell. The men didn't have lives. They came to work. Went home, got drunk, woke up, and then came to work again. It was hard for me to identify with them at all.

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Also I was trying to explain what I expected to get out of law school. A list of skills I believe will help me as a lobbyist. Researching and writing in a high-pressure environment.
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And the conclusion was a technique that has had success for me. I guess I broke the fourth wall to apply a more human element to my personal statement. I've been writing the statement non stop for two months. It's caused huge turmoil in my life as my family doesn't want me to go to law school, they want me to stay home with them, forever….

"That work was hell. The men didn't have lives. They came to work. Went home, got drunk, woke up & then came to work again."
Sounds a bit like life in biglaw.

CanadianWolf wrote:"That work was hell. The men had no lives.

Stop it. If I could write that bluntly I would have.

dibreezy wrote:

CanadianWolf wrote:"That work was hell. The men had no lives.

Stop it. If I could write that bluntly I would have.

Why couldn't you? That's much clearer and more interesting and compelling than what you wrote. There's nothing at all wrong with what he wrote.

The part that attempts to describe the skills you'd get out of law school is entirely unclear. Just say that you want to get experience researching and writing in a high-pressure environment. The simplest way to say something is usually the best. (Even though it's still not necessary to explain that.

As for the personal turmoil, either explain what you mean (why does this cause turmoil? why does your family not want you to go but you want to go anyway), or don't allude vaguely to it.

Agreed that your PS needs to be more straightforward and clear. You're sort of hopping from topic to topic and never coalescing into a coherent narrative. It also comes across as overly dramatic in parts. You really don't need all the stuff about baring your soul to admissions committees.

Also, if you want DC, you should probably retake the LSAT. Catholic's employment numbers are very weak. In my opinion the only schools in DC worth attending are Georgetown (at something less than sticker) or GW (with something close to a full ride.) It's just a very saturated market.

TheSpanishMain wrote:Agreed that your PS needs to be more straightforward and clear. You're sort of hopping from topic to topic and never coalescing into a coherent narrative. It also comes across as overly dramatic in parts. You really don't need all the stuff about baring your soul to admissions committees.

Also, if you want DC, you should probably retake the LSAT. Catholic's employment numbers are very weak. In my opinion the only schools in DC worth attending are Georgetown (at something less than sticker) or GW (with something close to a full ride.) It's just a very saturated market.

I'll have a version for you just to take a quick look at in a few minutes. It'll be a lot shorter…

I definitely appreciate your advice about DC. All of the schools I applied to I applied part-time. My aim is to work on the hill during law school. It would be pointless for me to do a full-time program and then pop out of law school with no experience or relationships and try to become a lobbyist. But seeing as how I have no intention of actually being attorney I feel like I am in a minority group when it comes to the utility of a law degree. It doesn't need to be a GT or even GW degree to show worth.

As far as my LSAT, my very first test I got a 159. After powerscore my practice test high was a 166. I have scored 165 five or so times. I just get nervous in the room. But i was significantly more comfortable the second time around. I if think I could get a 165 if I took the test in June. The later start would definitely help me out.

dibreezy wrote:
I definitely appreciate your advice about DC. All of the schools I applied to I applied part-time. My aim is to work on the hill during law school. It would be pointless for me to do a full-time program and then pop out of law school with no experience or relationships and try to become a lobbyist. But seeing as how I have no intention of actually being attorney I feel like I am in a minority group when it comes to the utility of a law degree. It doesn't need to be a GT or even GW degree to show worth.

As far as my LSAT, my very first test I got a 159. After powerscore my practice test high was a 166. I have scored 165 five or so times. I just get nervous in the room. But i was significantly more comfortable the second time around. I if think I could get a 165 if I took the test in June. The later start would definitely help me out.

I wouldn't go to law school if you don't intend to practice law. It's an overly expensive, inefficient way to get where you want to go. A law degree isn't the door opener it used to be.

This is another version of my personal statement that is about 325 words shorter. Is this a significantly better statement or not?



Successes and setbacks frame my story. I’ve walked the slums of Ghana and played with native children in the high desert of New Mexico. I’ve worked with merchants on the beaches of the Dominican Republic and followed a Congressman through the halls of Capitol Hill awaiting my instructions. I’ve felt the cold slap in the face of not realizing my expectations; the fall from grace can be harsh. These are some of the experiences that have influenced me.

Why pursue Law? A law school’s training program will help me with my vocation; my future is working as a lobbyist. I’ve always had an interest in politics and want to be able to impact policy in a way other than simply casting my vote or writing my congressman. I want to be a part of the process. My conversations with people on the Hill during my Les Aspin internship as well as what I've read during my studies at Marquette make clear our government is as embroiled as it has ever been. As a lobbyist I would be in a position to do something about it. The popular view of lobbying is misleading. During the Lobbying Disclosure Act of 1995 and the subsequent Honest Leadership and Open Government Act of 2007 legitimate steps were taken to to assure the hustler lifestyle of lobbying is a thing of the past. Meeting several lobbyists while I was in DC introduced me to genuine, hard working people; I would be proud to call myself a member of that group.

My love of law stems from a more practical inclination. The training and experiences I get during law school will afford me necessary skills for my vocation. Studying and analyzing cases will teach me the skills of interpreting diverse amounts of information and esoteric data. My studies will improve my written and oral communications skills intrinsic to the profession. Success in law school will maximize my efficiency and focus my strategies used for daily tasks as well as for lifelong learning. The result will be the development of effective problem solving skills for the trade groups, non-profits or companies a lobbyist might represent, as well as for my own personal life skills.

I must give service to society and my community. A law degree will enable me to influence and lead those around me for positive change in this world. I have energy and I am excited about what tomorrow brings. It may sound corny, but I’ve travelled outside of the U.S. and what I took away from those experiences is that I love this country. The phrase “America the Beautiful” is not a cliché. I still believe in the American Dream. As long as I go out there and try, I feel like in the long run I can win. I expect life will not always go my way but I am tenacious and hungry for success. At Marquette we say, "Be the Difference," and I want to do exactly that.

As the first person in my family to graduate college I am aware of the opportunity that has been afforded to me. I’ve succeeded in making the most of that opportunity even though there I’ve had bumps along the way. I am extremely grateful for the influence education is having on my life’s trajectory, committed to being a life-long learner.