Keilz wrote:pinkpaperdragon wrote: a short essay.
very interesting reply, thanks for contributing! I am curious to hear your thoughts regarding the most accommodating schools that you were considering?
So with the huge caveat that this is based on my impressions only, not even my own experience, and that I def. recommend everyone do their own research; here are my thoughts. (see, I'm practicing being a lawyer already)
I was considering several schools, but gave most of my time and attention on the parenting question to my top choices, which were SLS, YLS, UVA and Michigan. At all four, students said they felt really supported by professors and admin regarding their top parenting problems: missing/being late to class and needing to reschedule exams, and they still felt like they were able to take advantage of outside-of-class experiences, clinics, etc.
Stanford was really the standout. When I looked for student parents to talk to, so many people responded I didn't have time to talk to them all (and this from the smallest of the schools). Everyone had great things to say about feeling supported, one student talked about bringing her infant to clinic. SLS has the "no real grades = we're serious, no real grades" mentality and a quarter system, so some students took leave for a quarter. Also, the professors I spoke with seemed highly supportive of students-with-kids, had pictures of their own kids in their offices and talked about them, and in one of the classes I attended the prof talked about his kid during the class. The ASW had a nice session just for women, which made me feel warm fuzzies about the administration's commitment to women, but it's also worth noting that male parents reached out to me and male professors stood out as family guys as well. Also, I've lived in the Bay Area and know many professionals with kids, and while things still get hectic the culture here is laid back. Stanford U also has a few daycares on campus; I have friends with kids there and they really like it; for folks with school-age kids, the Palo Alto school system is renowned, and I believe (don't quote me) has good options for kids with developmental disabilities.
Ultimately, if I were only choosing based the maternity question, SLS seemed like the best option, but I wound up elsewhere for two reasons: 1) expense: the Bay Area is enormously expensive, and adding daycare onto rent would be tough. and 2) SLS lacked strength in some of my primary academic areas of interest, plus we want to move back to the East Coast. Having a West Coast degree + being unable to travel East for internships (on account of baby) + no standout programs in my main areas of focus made SLS somewhat less desirable for me than it otherwise would have been.
YLS, like SLS, has a big concentration of student parents compared to its size, also has the "no grades = really, no grades" philosophy that I really value. The students I spoke with said it was really helpful being at a small school, one said all her profs knew she had a kid and some of them even approached her first to ask how they could help; she felt this really set the tone, and she was in fact accommodated when needed. Many of the profs also have their own families, and while the topic didn't come up as organically as it did at SLS, when I asked directly professors were hugely positive about students with kids. Aside from students with kids, there are also lots of students with partners, so people spoke of having family commitments as a norm, not an aberration. I suspect the culture is likely quite a bit less relaxed and more achievement-oriented than Stanford/the Bay Area, but the students I spoke to felt very comfortable setting their own priorities for involvement, and felt like the choose-your-own adventure structure let them get the most out of limited time. The cost of living is much less, and Yale has several affiliated daycares (including a tiny one in the law school), plus there's a good number of accredited daycares in New Haven generally. NYC would be great for internships in my field, and is close enough to be a plausible (though not easy) option with a baby.
UVA and UMich came across pretty similarly. Both administrations, once they learned this was a topic of interest for me, jumped at finding me students to talk to who were pregnant. Compared to SLS and YLS, there seemed to be fewer of these students, even drawing from a larger student body; however, they said they definitely felt their profs and admins were very invested in making sure they were successful even while pregnant. Older-than-ave students, both parents and non, said it felt a bit alienating being one of a few older students in a sea of 25-year-old-singles, but nobody thought that was a reason not to attend. It just struck me as a little lonelier. At both schools I only talked to students pregnant with first child, so I didn't get as much a sense of how it is to be a student with a child. However, I know parents living in both Ann Arbor and Charlottesville, and I've lived in C'ville myself and love the college-town vibe, so I felt comfortable that both communities are good places to have and raise kids. Ann Arbor would have internship difficulties in my case, there's Detroit but again my East Coast concern; C'ville, though small itself, is also within striking distance of Richmond and DC.
I ruled out NYC schools mostly due to location + cost of living - I've never lived in NYC and felt terrified at the prospect of trying to figure it all out with an infant. Plus one student memorably quipped that "raising a child in NYC is like trying to grow an oak tree in a thimble." My bravery might have been influenced had I felt really excited about either NYU or Columbia and had a scholarship, but since that wasn't the case I didn't do too much probing.
Ruled out HLS because it wasn't the right fit for a variety of reasons, so I never got to the point of evaluating it for the parental perspective - but it was something I asked about in my admissions interview and my interviewer had a good answer without missing a beat.
At the risk of sounding stuck-up, once I was getting accepted to the above I stopped doing research on lower-ranked schools, but I suspect many of them are also interested in attracting students with families, and honestly I wish more of the T14 than just Georgetown were willing to have part-time programs - that would open up even more possibilities for those of us, esp women, who don't want to put off starting families.
), and I'll be a year or two younger when I start law school, but I feel the exact same way and am constantly asking myself the same questions. I don't have any answers, but I'll be watching this post in hopes of seeing others' answers. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone!
And good luck to you as you start law school AND become a mom! 