Should I hold my future for my BF?? Forum

[A. Nony Mouse]

For themselves and their families is pretty harsh. I know a number of people with autistic kids/kids with Down syndrome and that kind of statement generally upsets them a lot.

I mean the future "they" not current "they". If my statement upsets anyone I apologize. All these are not targeted at current kids or inevitable cases.

What is a not inevitable case?

[ihenry]

I prefer fewer homeless people on the subway for society. Last night I was sandwiched in by one gentleman not wearing shoes or socks and one with no pants. I was dosing off, and the smell gave me an energy drink type punch.

Back when I was a kid my dad always gave me some coins upon seeing a beggar, some disabled, holding a broken bowl asking passersby for money, and asked me to go ahead and put the coins in their bowls. So now I have compassion for really unfortunate ones and I have a remote sense of how hard life can be. But later... there were "professional" beggars who earn more than an average white collar and changes new iPhone every year. That was China. I also heard some people from other cultures who choose to be scavengers because life is freer, and they have no intention of accumulating wealth and just want something to stuff stomach. So things can really vary dramatically by person.

[ihenry]

For themselves and their families is pretty harsh. I know a number of people with autistic kids/kids with Down syndrome and that kind of statement generally upsets them a lot.

I mean the future "they" not current "they". If my statement upsets anyone I apologize. All these are not targeted at current kids or inevitable cases.

What is a not inevitable case?

You guess.

[AReasonableMan]

I prefer fewer homeless people on the subway for society. Last night I was sandwiched in by one gentleman not wearing shoes or socks and one with no pants. I was dosing off, and the smell gave me an energy drink type punch.

Back when I was a kid my dad always gave me some coins upon seeing a beggar, some disabled, holding a broken bowl asking passersby for money, and asked me to go ahead and put the coins in their bowls. So now I have compassion for really unfortunate ones and I have a remote sense of how hard life can be. But later... there were "professional" beggars who earn more than an average white collar and changes new iPhone every year. That was China. I also heard some people from other cultures who choose to be scavengers because life is freer, and they have no intention of accumulating wealth and just want something to stuff stomach. So things can really vary dramatically by person.

Schizophrenia and crack cocaine tend to pack a big 1-2 punch.

[A. Nony Mouse]

For themselves and their families is pretty harsh. I know a number of people with autistic kids/kids with Down syndrome and that kind of statement generally upsets them a lot.

I mean the future "they" not current "they". If my statement upsets anyone I apologize. All these are not targeted at current kids or inevitable cases.

What is a not inevitable case?

You guess.

It sounds kinda like you're blaming older parents for their kids' status, but that would be pretty rude, so...

[PoopyPants]

What gets me is older fathers (also starting at the age of 35 for many medical problems) also present medical risks to offspring (including an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia, cleft palate, low birth weight, certain types of cancer, and a whole lot more) but no one spends their time wringing their hands and counseling 27-year-old fathers that they better delay their career and have a baby now so their baby won't have X condition.

Maybe they should.

As an older father myself, my wife became pregnant when I was 36, it is possible that this played a role in my child having autism. Although, it is not reasonably possible to draw a direct connection, it is something that I ponder from time to time. I love my daughter, and although I wish life were easier for her, I would not for one moment consider her not being in my life because of this challenge.

I wouldn't ponder it too much. In the largest study ever done on parental age and ASD risk, there is only a statistically significant increase in relative risk when the father reaches age 50.

http://www.nature.com/mp/journal/vaop/n ... 1570a.html

ETA: they also looked at maternal age (lowest risk is actually just after 30), and joint ages.

[AReasonableMan]

What gets me is older fathers (also starting at the age of 35 for many medical problems) also present medical risks to offspring (including an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia, cleft palate, low birth weight, certain types of cancer, and a whole lot more) but no one spends their time wringing their hands and counseling 27-year-old fathers that they better delay their career and have a baby now so their baby won't have X condition.

Maybe they should.

As an older father myself, my wife became pregnant when I was 36, it is possible that this played a role in my child having autism. Although, it is not reasonably possible to draw a direct connection, it is something that I ponder from time to time. I love my daughter, and although I wish life were easier for her, I would not for one moment consider her not being in my life because of this challenge.

I wouldn't ponder it too much. In the largest study ever done on parental age and ASD risk, there is only a statistically significant increase in relative risk when the father reaches age 50.

http://www.nature.com/mp/journal/vaop/n ... 1570a.html

ETA: they also looked at maternal age (lowest risk is actually just after 30), and joint ages.

I mean sperm does get weaker as men age so waiting till 50 wouldn't necessarily have such great odds of getting a woman pregnant in the first place.