Top Law Schools

.

Agree with them

Laugh at them for being poors?

I've never understood the hate on lawyer jokes. Why do people hate lawyers? Because they are expensive and you don't see any real benefit you would see from other expensive professions like a doctor?

Q. How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A. Who cares?

.

Q. What do you call a pile of lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A. A good start

Maybe you could just ignore it and move along? It's not like they solicited your pov.

Dont let it bother you, they are just jelly.


What do you call a doctor who graduates at the bottom of his class? A doctor.

What do you call a lawyer who graduates below the median at their flagship state school? Unemployed.

.

tedler wrote:

dresden doll wrote:Maybe you could just ignore it and move along? It's not like they solicited your pov.

Making a negative blanket statement regarding a reasonably popular profession on a public forum is pretty much asking for it. But yes, I would probably be better off ignoring it.

you should just play along with it for the lulz. who gives a shit what they think?

Who cares what people say in a Facebook post? All Facebook is doing is tracking the likes.

tedler wrote:

dresden doll wrote:Maybe you could just ignore it and move along? It's not like they solicited your pov.

Making a negative blanket statement regarding a reasonably popular profession on a public forum is pretty much asking for it. But yes, I would probably be better off ignoring it.

Look, I find the sentiment pretty annoying even though law students are certified douchebags. But they're probably stupid enough to think they're being super clever, so I'd leave them to their devices (unless you're a good troll, in which case, troll away).

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

Don't even bother with those plebs. You're leagues above that now.

What's the difference between a run-over possum and a run-over lawyer?


The possum has brake marks in front of it.




Just remind people that everyone loves to hate lawyers right up until they need one, and then they want the meanest, nastiest one they can get.

kalvano wrote:What's the difference between a run-over possum and a run-over lawyer?


The possum has brake marks in front of it.




Just remind people that everyone loves to hate lawyers right up until they need one, and then they want the meanest, nastiest one they can get.

haha i like you kalvano. No one wants a very calm unobjectionable lawyer. Also hate seems to be quite a common sentiment here in the DC area. People hate on you for no reason. I'd love to give my shithead neighbors something to hate me for without killing anyone.

Don't forget the favorite one of interwebs commentators, "Shakespeare said we should kill all the lawyers."

Beautiful combination of an appeal to authority and misunderstanding of a classic text. Maybe if people could read in context they could free themselves of lawyers, lulz.

^^^ Kal is a bad ass. Even if he doesn't like sports.

OP, dont worry about it. Seriously. Laugh it off.

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."

"I'll take it," the attorney said.

Maybe I'm just in the minority, but I think dentists are worse than lawyers

I read that dentists are more prone to suicide.

kalvano wrote:I read that dentists are more prone to suicide.

+1

Lawyers poke your wallet, Dentists poke your gums.

At least my wallet only metaphorically bleeds after hiring a lawyer.

kalvano wrote:I read that dentists are more prone to suicide.

My dentist is awesome. He whips out that drill like a G6. Seriously he has mad skillz. He can drill and fill a cavity in 15 minutes or less. He also plays the banjo, volunteers at a clinic, and teaches at UMD dentist school.

You roll with it.... You KNOW every lawyer joke there is, beat them to the punch line and laugh along.... If they aren't telling a lawyer joke and just calling them scum YOU introduce a joke..... Seriously, it works like a magic charm....

Being an 01 and never having been a lawyer how would I know you ask? Because pilots in the Air Force are not exactly embraced by virtually anyone else in the Air Force. We are thought of as over paid, pampered, womanizing prima donnas that get ALL the good deals and are really only a necessary evil until everything is flown as an unmanned computer drone....

You can disarm even the harshest critics with humor......

BTW, this lawyer and a fighter pilot are standing on a corner and this REALLY hot chick walks by.

The pilot says "Man I'd like to screw her!"

Lawyer says, "Out of WHAT?"

Or you could just ask them for their billing addresses.