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[holydonkey]

I thought your statement was pretty good. I just tweaked it slightly and added a conclusion. Edits are in red. Good luck!

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Walking through the city streets when a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink, run faster, jump higher, maaaaan! im not gonna let you poison me! i threw it on the ground! you must think im a joke! im not gonna be a part of this system! maaaaaaaan pump that garbage in another mans face!

I go to my favorite hot dog stand and the dude says you come here all the time heres one for free i said maaan what i look like a charity case i took it an threw it on the ground i dont need your handouts im an adult please you cant buy me hot dog maaaaaaan.

At the farmers market with my so called girlfriend she hands me her cell phone says its my dad maaaan this aint my dad this is a cell phone i threw it on the ground what you think im stupid im not a part of this system my dads not a phone duh

some poser hands me cake at a birthday party what you want me to do with this eat it? happy birthday to the ground! i threw the rest of the cake too! welcome to the real world jackass!

so many things to throw on the ground like this and that and even this. Two hollywood try to give me their autograph. ground! nobody wants ur autograph phonies! then the two phonies got up turns out they had a taser and the tased me in the butthole! i fell to the ground the phonies didnt let up tasin on my butthole ova and ova i was screaming and squirming my butthole was on fire

the moral of this story is you cant trust the system, Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

And that is why I want to attend Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law.

[windycity]

I thought your statement was pretty good. I just tweaked it slightly and added a conclusion. Edits are in red. Good luck!

.
Walking through the city streets when a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink, run faster, jump higher, maaaaan! im not gonna let you poison me! i threw it on the ground! you must think im a joke! im not gonna be a part of this system! maaaaaaaan pump that garbage in another mans face!

I go to my favorite hot dog stand and the dude says you come here all the time heres one for free i said maaan what i look like a charity case i took it an threw it on the ground i dont need your handouts im an adult please you cant buy me hot dog maaaaaaan.

At the farmers market with my so called girlfriend she hands me her cell phone says its my dad maaaan this aint my dad this is a cell phone i threw it on the ground what you think im stupid im not a part of this system my dads not a phone duh

some poser hands me cake at a birthday party what you want me to do with this eat it? happy birthday to the ground! i threw the rest of the cake too! welcome to the real world jackass!

so many things to throw on the ground like this and that and even this. Two hollywood try to give me their autograph. ground! nobody wants ur autograph phonies! then the two phonies got up turns out they had a taser and the tased me in the butthole! i fell to the ground the phonies didnt let up tasin on my butthole ova and ova i was screaming and squirming my butthole was on fire

the moral of this story is you cant trust the system, Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

And that is why I want to attend Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law.

LOL!! FTW!

[reasonabledoubt]

I thought your statement was pretty good. I just tweaked it slightly and added a conclusion. Edits are in red. Good luck!

.
Walking through the city streets when a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink, run faster, jump higher, maaaaan! im not gonna let you poison me! i threw it on the ground! you must think im a joke! im not gonna be a part of this system! maaaaaaaan pump that garbage in another mans face!

I go to my favorite hot dog stand and the dude says you come here all the time heres one for free i said maaan what i look like a charity case i took it an threw it on the ground i dont need your handouts im an adult please you cant buy me hot dog maaaaaaan.

At the farmers market with my so called girlfriend she hands me her cell phone says its my dad maaaan this aint my dad this is a cell phone i threw it on the ground what you think im stupid im not a part of this system my dads not a phone duh

some poser hands me cake at a birthday party what you want me to do with this eat it? happy birthday to the ground! i threw the rest of the cake too! welcome to the real world jackass!

so many things to throw on the ground like this and that and even this. Two hollywood try to give me their autograph. ground! nobody wants ur autograph phonies! then the two phonies got up turns out they had a taser and the tased me in the butthole! i fell to the ground the phonies didnt let up tasin on my butthole ova and ova i was screaming and squirming my butthole was on fire

the moral of this story is you cant trust the system, Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

And that is why I want to attend Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law.

LOL!! FTW!

tl;dr - also, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

[ATOIsp07]

blood