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Currently clerking in large district (think SDNY, CDCA, EDVA). Recent grad.

My clerkship experience has highs and lows. Generally though, making any mistake (no matter how big or small) feels very high stakes in my mind, in part because my judge can be very condescending if I make a mistake. My judge has humiliated me in front of my co clerks for said mistakes. There are other things but this is what I feel comfortable sharing as of now. Overall just feeling a heightened sense of stress of how I don’t want to make any mistakes.

One of my co clerks has said it’s possible my judge is subconsciously racially bias against me (my co clerks and judge are all the same race).

I don’t know what to do. And obviously, since this is the only chambers I’ve worked in, don’t know if it’s normal for everything to feel so “high stakes.”

I feel this way too, although my judge is nice about it. It's really extra stressful when everything you do, someone else is incentivized to find something wrong with it. I once missed an important case that materially changed the holding of a case I cited and I felt (and still feel like) a complete idiot.

Normal in the sense that it happens? Yes. Normal in the sense that it is the average experience? No. Your judge sounds like a boss who falls more on the bad end of the spectrum.

If your judge is racist, why the heck did he hire you?

Occam's Razor, your judge is just a jerk with a weird managerial style.

Maybe your judge thinks he can motivate you (and your colleagues) via shame, which traditionally has been a powerful driver.

Just bear with it. It's just a year.