Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment Forum

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Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 2:08 am

I'm pretty confident that this post can be narrowed down to 1-3 people if anyone from this outing sees it, so i'd prefer the post gets deleted than un-anonymized (if anon is inappropriate here). sorry.

---------

I began my clerkship a few months ago in a small city - I have no friends or family here and the other clerks and courtroom staff already had an 'in-group' because they all started in Aug/Sept of last year. Eventually I let my judge know that I hadn't really been socializing much and they made a concerted effort to involve me in activities with other chambers.

Then last week, they planned an informal lunch at a cool Mexican restaurant a few blocks from the courthouse. First it was at like 1pm in the middle of July in an arid climate so I nearly sweat through my shirt on the way there. I had to excuse myself to the restroom to wipe myself off with paper towels and already felt embarrassed/flustered on the way in. I came back out to find that they agreed to order collectively because the menu was primarily small tacos - it seemed easier to order all of our tacos at once than to each go up and order one at a time, etc.

So we got like 50 tacos, 3-6 per person, and the restaurant served them in large trays family-style. I went second or third and grabbed what I thought were the tacos I ordered and walked over to sit in the corner of the restaurant. I put my fingers all over them of course, they're little street tacos. Eventually the other clerks and judges got their tacos too, except there was a bit of a commotion as they realized that not enough of the flour tortillas were left for everybody who'd ordered them. I didn't realize but I accidentally took flour tortillas after I said I wanted corn tortilla tacos. I know based on what I could hear from their conversation that they were piecing together what had happened because they weren't sure if it was the restaurant's mistake or our mistake. Also one of the judges (not my direct boss) ended up without flour tortilla tacos despite explicitly requesting them and threw a bit of a fit over the situation.

I was too ashamed to speak up and had already germified the tacos I touched so I put my head down silently and ate my incorrect tacos in isolation. The rest of the group seemed dispirited by how seriously one judge reacted but nobody was officially blamed. We all walked back to the courthouse, and eventually one of the other clerks told my co-clerk that they thought I (and one or two others) were responsible for the order kerfuffle. I told my co-clerk that I definitely messed up but they said to keep things silent and to pray this all blows over. Then on Friday, four days after the lunch incident, the judge who actually seemed upset at the restaurant apparently made a joke in their chambers about how oblivious I had to be to pick the wrong tacos and not fess up, and then that they were going to subpoena me to get to the bottom of the situation. I thought everybody would get over it but it doesn't look like it. I'm afraid to show my face in the courthouse tomorrow for work - I might call in sick and work remotely hoping this blows over.

Does anyone else have advice and/or their own embarrassing clerkship moments?

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Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 4:23 am

Sorry you have to be going through this anon. I'd say there are a few issues here. First, the judge complaining about four-day-old tacos sounds like an entitled brat and could use more than a little maturing. Second, do not work from home--this almost assuredly will blow over almost immediately and you have to learn in your career to take these things in stride. Third, and relatedly, try to take the whole thing a little less seriously. Looking from the outside in, there's nothing here that strikes me as particularly that devastating. Sounds like a douchey AIII judge who thinks that he's being buddy-buddy with the clerks by making a joke at your expense. Don't worry too much.

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Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 10:55 am

I agree don't worry too much. If this happened with my judge, it would become a friendly joke in a few months and make you memorable (in a good way) because of how silly the other judge is behaving. I know it feels impossible now, but in a year you'll laugh about it.

Anonymous User
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Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 11:45 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Mon Jul 18, 2022 2:08 am
I'm pretty confident that this post can be narrowed down to 1-3 people if anyone from this outing sees it, so i'd prefer the post gets deleted than un-anonymized (if anon is inappropriate here). sorry.

---------

I began my clerkship a few months ago in a small city - I have no friends or family here and the other clerks and courtroom staff already had an 'in-group' because they all started in Aug/Sept of last year. Eventually I let my judge know that I hadn't really been socializing much and they made a concerted effort to involve me in activities with other chambers.

Then last week, they planned an informal lunch at a cool Mexican restaurant a few blocks from the courthouse. First it was at like 1pm in the middle of July in an arid climate so I nearly sweat through my shirt on the way there. I had to excuse myself to the restroom to wipe myself off with paper towels and already felt embarrassed/flustered on the way in. I came back out to find that they agreed to order collectively because the menu was primarily small tacos - it seemed easier to order all of our tacos at once than to each go up and order one at a time, etc.

So we got like 50 tacos, 3-6 per person, and the restaurant served them in large trays family-style. I went second or third and grabbed what I thought were the tacos I ordered and walked over to sit in the corner of the restaurant. I put my fingers all over them of course, they're little street tacos. Eventually the other clerks and judges got their tacos too, except there was a bit of a commotion as they realized that not enough of the flour tortillas were left for everybody who'd ordered them. I didn't realize but I accidentally took flour tortillas after I said I wanted corn tortilla tacos. I know based on what I could hear from their conversation that they were piecing together what had happened because they weren't sure if it was the restaurant's mistake or our mistake. Also one of the judges (not my direct boss) ended up without flour tortilla tacos despite explicitly requesting them and threw a bit of a fit over the situation.

I was too ashamed to speak up and had already germified the tacos I touched so I put my head down silently and ate my incorrect tacos in isolation. The rest of the group seemed dispirited by how seriously one judge reacted but nobody was officially blamed. We all walked back to the courthouse, and eventually one of the other clerks told my co-clerk that they thought I (and one or two others) were responsible for the order kerfuffle. I told my co-clerk that I definitely messed up but they said to keep things silent and to pray this all blows over. Then on Friday, four days after the lunch incident, the judge who actually seemed upset at the restaurant apparently made a joke in their chambers about how oblivious I had to be to pick the wrong tacos and not fess up, and then that they were going to subpoena me to get to the bottom of the situation. I thought everybody would get over it but it doesn't look like it. I'm afraid to show my face in the courthouse tomorrow for work - I might call in sick and work remotely hoping this blows over.

Does anyone else have advice and/or their own embarrassing clerkship moments?
If anything, I would say get in on the joke. At the next socially acceptable moment (or if it comes up), I would be like "Can you believe how oblivious I was?? Accidentally started Taco-gate 2022!!," and just laugh it off. It will have about as much weight as you give it, and it's best just to laugh at yourself. Plus, if you do so in front of folks, they will know you were self-aware, which is really the only issue here. In my view, if you call it out light-heartedly, it will allow you to take the narrative back and give you ownership over the faux pas.

But also--it's just tacos! You've not done anything "wrong," so don't be too hard on yourself. But so sorry about feeling embarrassed, but, positively, absolutely everyone has been there :)

Anonymous User
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Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 11:51 am

This very much sounds to me like the other judge is a pain in the ass and everyone else knows that and suffers working with them and is just trying to deal with that. I get why you’re embarrassed (I’m sure I would be too!) but this is absolutely not the big deal you’re making it. I agree that having a sense of humor about it will help, generally (unless people continue to be Solemn and Anxious about it - you want to just kind of read the room. If other people insist on taking it seriously I wouldn’t blow it off, just apologize and say it you didn’t realize in the moment until it was awkward to bring it up or something along those lines. ONLY if people are continuing to bring it up, though, I wouldn’t volunteer this unless needed. Because it shouldn’t be that big a deal!).

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Anonymous User
Posts: 428122
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 11:51 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Mon Jul 18, 2022 11:45 am
Anonymous User wrote:
Mon Jul 18, 2022 2:08 am
I'm pretty confident that this post can be narrowed down to 1-3 people if anyone from this outing sees it, so i'd prefer the post gets deleted than un-anonymized (if anon is inappropriate here). sorry.

---------

I began my clerkship a few months ago in a small city - I have no friends or family here and the other clerks and courtroom staff already had an 'in-group' because they all started in Aug/Sept of last year. Eventually I let my judge know that I hadn't really been socializing much and they made a concerted effort to involve me in activities with other chambers.

Then last week, they planned an informal lunch at a cool Mexican restaurant a few blocks from the courthouse. First it was at like 1pm in the middle of July in an arid climate so I nearly sweat through my shirt on the way there. I had to excuse myself to the restroom to wipe myself off with paper towels and already felt embarrassed/flustered on the way in. I came back out to find that they agreed to order collectively because the menu was primarily small tacos - it seemed easier to order all of our tacos at once than to each go up and order one at a time, etc.

So we got like 50 tacos, 3-6 per person, and the restaurant served them in large trays family-style. I went second or third and grabbed what I thought were the tacos I ordered and walked over to sit in the corner of the restaurant. I put my fingers all over them of course, they're little street tacos. Eventually the other clerks and judges got their tacos too, except there was a bit of a commotion as they realized that not enough of the flour tortillas were left for everybody who'd ordered them. I didn't realize but I accidentally took flour tortillas after I said I wanted corn tortilla tacos. I know based on what I could hear from their conversation that they were piecing together what had happened because they weren't sure if it was the restaurant's mistake or our mistake. Also one of the judges (not my direct boss) ended up without flour tortilla tacos despite explicitly requesting them and threw a bit of a fit over the situation.

I was too ashamed to speak up and had already germified the tacos I touched so I put my head down silently and ate my incorrect tacos in isolation. The rest of the group seemed dispirited by how seriously one judge reacted but nobody was officially blamed. We all walked back to the courthouse, and eventually one of the other clerks told my co-clerk that they thought I (and one or two others) were responsible for the order kerfuffle. I told my co-clerk that I definitely messed up but they said to keep things silent and to pray this all blows over. Then on Friday, four days after the lunch incident, the judge who actually seemed upset at the restaurant apparently made a joke in their chambers about how oblivious I had to be to pick the wrong tacos and not fess up, and then that they were going to subpoena me to get to the bottom of the situation. I thought everybody would get over it but it doesn't look like it. I'm afraid to show my face in the courthouse tomorrow for work - I might call in sick and work remotely hoping this blows over.

Does anyone else have advice and/or their own embarrassing clerkship moments?
If anything, I would say get in on the joke. At the next socially acceptable moment (or if it comes up), I would say something to the effect of: "Can you believe how oblivious I was?? Accidentally started Taco-gate 2022!!," and just laugh it off. It will have about as much weight as you give it, and it's best just to laugh at yourself. Plus, if you do so in front of folks, they will know you were self-aware, which is really the only issue here. In my view, if you call it out light-heartedly, it will allow you to take the narrative back and give you ownership over the faux pas.

But also--it's just tacos! You've not done anything "wrong," so don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like the other judge isn't being very gracious, especially given his position. But that is a him problem, not a you problem! In a short time, no one will remember, including you. But so sorry about feeling embarrassed. Positively, absolutely everyone has been there :)

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2022 4:04 pm

Thanks everybody for talking me off the ledge. I did go into work - it’s been just another day. None of the other chambers’ clerks came by or said anything. I guess I’ll just wait until the fall and a new crop of clerks come in before trying to socialize again lol

lavarman84

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Re: Faux Pas at Lunch - Want to Die of Embarassment

Post by lavarman84 » Mon Jul 18, 2022 7:10 pm

You're overthinking things, Anon. I think the whole situation with you feeling "out" of the group has you in your own head. Make an effort to connect with the other clerks. I think you'll find that they're happy to include you. It's nice having community, and it's in people's self interest to expand their network. I'd also say don't take yourself too seriously. Odds are that judge was just making a ham-handed joke.

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