Quotes from Law School Forum

[Tehpokerstar]

Here's a quarter go call your mother and tell her your quitting law school.

[Mulliganstew]

Contracts Teacher: “A man offers to buy a tramp a coat. He then stops the tramp in the store and says he changed his mind. Is this a bargain?”

Student: “I don’t know. It depends on what she’s getting out of it.”

Teacher: “I just want to clarify. Which one is a she?”

Student: “Uhh… the tramp.”

Teacher: “Just wanted to note I didn’t say it.”

----------------------------------------------

Contracts Professor: As of today, my wife and I have been married for 42 years.

(Everyone claps)

Contracts Professor: To eachother even! Now, isn’t that an obligation?

Gunner: No, because it makes you feel good

Teacher: No it doesn’t!

[macattaq]

Civ Pro prof:

"Demur is just a fancy word for hell no."

[presh]

.

[como]

'What's the money-shot assumption to this case?' - Prof.

My neighbor pauses from pounding out notes and just asks "did he just say money-shot?"

[let/them/eat/cake]

'What's the money-shot assumption to this case?' - Prof.

My neighbor pauses from pounding out notes and just asks "did he just say money-shot?"

that shit is hysterical. I did a double-take.

Today, with regard to bestiality: "Consent only seems to matter if you are forcing the animal."

[panda]

haha.. yeah
"bestiality is unconstitutional, well, maybe, because the animal can't consent.."

or yesterday..

"law school is like sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll.. only difference is that Prof. Clermont is your groupie.. "

[WWSD]

When my ConLaw professor didn't like an answer he would usually say:

"Where did you find that, on Wikipedia?"

[pandacot]

My civpro professor is a blast...

When discussing a Supreme Court decision...
Professor: You know what the Supreme Court's logic is here... The great wizards logic went like this, "all men are mortal; Socrates is a man; therefore Plato can swim". The assholes didn't want admit they were wrong

On Supreme Court's interpretation of 1367 - joinder and class action
Professor: The Supreme Court got into a pissing contest with Congress. The Supreme Court's reasoning can be reduced to five words, "NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH.

[crystalhawkeye]

Re: Wood. v. Lucy, Lady Duff-Gordan, in K: "She was like the Béyoncé (pronounced just like that) of the early 1900s... I saw an ad of hers in a Sears catalog from 1916 in my office one day... it just appeared there one day. I don't know how..."

[reverendt]

My Torts prof. last year (while trying to calculate negligence under Posner's economic theory):
"we can't do math. If we could do math we'd all be doing something useful...instead of learning how to argue."

[SoxyPirate]

Last year when I was visiting schools, I sat in on a class and got to hear this gem.

Student: My mother was artificially inseminated. I don't even know who my father is. For all I know he's just some guy that blew his wad into a cup.

Professor: Let's say "sperm donor."

[tmflamingo]

This was from a K's class, after a brief digression in which our Prof (who also teaches professional responsibility) explained the peril of offering legal advice as a student that turns out to be wrong. She explained that we may or may not be liable depending on the harm we caused, etc.

Student: That's tough!

Prof: Welcome to the profession.

[caoyun]

From a Constitutional Law class I sat in on while visiting last Spring (paraphrased slightly):

Professor: Okay, so tell me what's going on in Miranda v Arizona. Who's suing who?

Cold-Called Student: Uhh.. Arizona is suing Miranda.

Professor: Why?

Same Student: Because Miranda wasn't happy about not being told his rights when he was arrested.

Professor: So why would Arizona sue because Miranda wasn't happy?

Same Student: To justify making him unhappy?

Professor: Read the first couple paragraphs of the decision and tell me who sued who and why.

*After 2 minute pause to read*

Same Student: Arizona is suing Miranda because Miranda was unhappy about not being read his rights...

Professor: Wouldn't it make more sense that Miranda was suing the state of Arizona because Arizona police didn't read him his rights and he was convicted based on something he said upon being arrested?

Same Student: But the Miranda rights weren't invented until after this case, so how could he sue for not being read them?



This conversation convinced me not to go to Georgetown.

[Kohinoor]

Two students that studied together and shared outlines for a whole semester take the same test. One received an A, the other a B-. They meet with the professor and point out that they had the same responses and reasoning yet received very different grades.

The professor holds the two exams and simply responds, "Before the cigar, after the cigar."

:-\

[prezidentv8]

From a Constitutional Law class I sat in on while visiting last Spring (paraphrased slightly):

Professor: Okay, so tell me what's going on in Miranda v Arizona. Who's suing who?

Cold-Called Student: Uhh.. Arizona is suing Miranda.

Professor: Why?

Same Student: Because Miranda wasn't happy about not being told his rights when he was arrested.

Professor: So why would Arizona sue because Miranda wasn't happy?

Same Student: To justify making him unhappy?

Professor: Read the first couple paragraphs of the decision and tell me who sued who and why.

*After 2 minute pause to read*

Same Student: Arizona is suing Miranda because Miranda was unhappy about not being read his rights...

Professor: Wouldn't it make more sense that Miranda was suing the state of Arizona because Arizona police didn't read him his rights and he was convicted based on something he said upon being arrested?

Same Student: But the Miranda rights weren't invented until after this case, so how could he sue for not being read them?



This conversation convinced me not to go to Georgetown.

[Kohinoor]

*first day, first class for my section*

Torts Professor: "Who want's to volunteer"

Girl in the front row: *raises hand*

Torts Professor: "Can you give us the facts of Vosburg, please"

Girl in the front row: "Oh, I didn't read."

/facepalm

Sometimes you can sit in class and literally watch the curve unfold before you.

[apper123]

We were doing Ortega v. whatever in Torts the other day.

Girl starts reading the facts of the case. About three sentences in the professor just rears back and yells, "ORRRRTEEEEEGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAA!* then gestures for her to continue.

Same class:

"I was in the store the other day and I just HAD to buy this can of toilet cleaner because it had the most awesome disclaimer on the side. I mean, look at that, poison faces and warnings and red lettering and everything! This is awesome!"

In our CivPro class the other day, a student emailed the section "Friday Bingo" for class with a bingo card for things the professor would say. At one point, the professor announced we'd be taking a 5 minute break soon. A student in the back of class yelled, "BINGO!!!!!" really, really loud.

Professor: "What? What are you talking about?"

Student: "uhh. I'm just really excited about the break"

[mikeytwoshoes]

Cute (in the cougar sense) female torts prof: . . .you are okay with all these balls flying at you.

[caoyun]

Contracts Prof: "Sometimes, there's virtue in being a red neck." and "...if you're a law-abiding redneck."

[Bgiv]

In our CivPro class the other day, a student emailed the section "Friday Bingo" for class with a bingo card for things the professor would say. At one point, the professor announced we'd be taking a 5 minute break soon. A student in the back of class yelled, "BINGO!!!!!" really, really loud.

Professor: "What? What are you talking about?"

Student: "uhh. I'm just really excited about the break"

LMAO, picturing this nearly had me in tears

[coolkatz321]

Here's a quarter go call your mother and tell her your quitting law school.

I can't believe a prof. would ripoff The Paper Chase.

[SamSeaborn2016]

We were doing Ortega v. whatever in Torts the other day.

Girl starts reading the facts of the case. About three sentences in the professor just rears back and yells, "ORRRRTEEEEEGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAA!* then gestures for her to continue.

Was William Shatner your prof?

[Dead Ringer]

Crazy Con Law professor dismayed with a student's advocacy when discussing the government's position in a case: "Oh my. Have another cheezit."

Crazy Con Law professor re: grammar
"Ugh. Oh... you just used impact as a transient verb. Oh. You're killing me.

And at the end of class: "Have a good weekend everyone, and, Miss X, please don't ever use impact as a transient verb again."

Then there was the Ks prof with bowties who always stuck his tongue out and made weird noises... I can't really quote that, though.

I would have cringed at the prof say transient when he meant transitive. Bet someone already pointed this out and it is your mistake, not the profs.

[m311]

*first day, first class for my section*

Torts Professor: "Who want's to volunteer"

Girl in the front row: *raises hand*

Torts Professor: "Can you give us the facts of Vosburg, please"

Girl in the front row: "Oh, I didn't read."

/facepalm

Sometimes you can sit in class and literally watch the curve unfold before you.

I can only imagine the girl was thinking "finally, we get to the magic tricks."