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I just made a big mistake. I poop roughly once per day (pun intended), and I just pooped -- that means I'm going to have to poop sometime around this time tomorrow, but I have an exam at 3pm. What should I do? I was thinking I have four options: 1) Try to force-poop beforehand; 2) Ingest laxatives; 3) Shop for incontinence supplies; or 4) Seppuku.

Thoughts/suggestions?

Obviously try to poop before hand. Good luck.

Hipster but Athletic wrote:Obviously try to poop before hand. Good luck.

Try to poop tomorrow a few hours before. If you can't, pop an immodium, and that should get you through the test.

I like option three.

I've heard of people wearing Depends for exams, in case they have to pee. I've always wondered how good they were for full-on poops.

Eat Chipotle for dinner. Extra Spicy Extra beans.

Shit yoru brains out tomorrow morning.

Take some pepto at 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm.

Desert Fox wrote:Eat Chipotle for dinner. Extra Spicy Extra beans.

Shit yoru brains out tomorrow morning.

Take some pepto at 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm.

Ya add a couple beers, and then take your coffee a little early too. Consider packing a lip.

Have some coffee and apple juice pre-exam, too.

Drink something hot w/ caffeine (coffee or black tea preferably) early in the morning and in the early afternoon to get yourself going before your exam. Don't take a laxative, esp if you've never done it before. That could make it 10x worse.

diaper = 180

I would generally go mid-test. Take a break, drop a deuce, and collect your thoughts.

Lobby the school for permission to take the test while on the porcelain throne.

If you have to go mid-test (and I've had to pee mid-test numerous times), just read a question thoroughly, then get up and go. You can outline in your head.

Your average poo should only take about 6 minutes. If 6 minutes would make the difference between finishing on time and not, then your problems are much bigger than this present issue. Don't worry about it.

Protip: Save time by prewriting your rule development before test day. That way you save a lot of time. You could crap 5 times if you wanted to.

Haven't we been here before? (I believe the previous guy - and they must both be guys - was worried about the bar exam.)

You seriously can't hold it in for the exam?

Also, farting would give you an edge over your classmates. The smell and noise would be a distraction.

I was really worried about this for the bar exam last summer. Fortunately dude you are gonna be so focused on the test that the last thing you'll be thinking about is dumping it out. I wouldn't overthink it. You could try to force it out a few hours before the test but thats probably unwise because most likely nothing will come out and you'll strain yourself. Even worse, you might just jump start the bowel movement process so that by the time the test comes around you will need to take a massive shit. Good luck OP

BigRob wrote:I just made a big mistake. I poop roughly once per day (pun intended), and I just pooped -- that means I'm going to have to poop sometime around this time tomorrow, but I have an exam at 3pm. What should I do? I was thinking I have four options: 1) Try to force-poop beforehand; 2) Ingest laxatives; 3) Shop for incontinence supplies; or 4) Seppuku.

Thoughts/suggestions?

What a sad and meaningless life you must live.

Eat a 1lb bag of baby carrots, 1lb bag of prunes, 1 gallon of prune juice, 2 cups of coffee, 6 pieces of dried fruit, 3 ears of corn, 1/2 lb of lamb rare, and six bites of raw chicken.

If you follow this recipe I guarantee you will poop b/f the exam. However, you may (1) vomit, (2) continue to poop during the exam, and (3) have to go to the ER before, after or during the exam.

Don't worry, you won't poop.

Its these kind of posts that make TLS worthwhile for me. Not even joking

Brettanomyces wrote:I like option three.

I've heard of people wearing Depends for exams, in case they have to pee. I've always wondered how good they were for full-on poops.

Please tell me this is a joke

So, how did the test go, OP? Hopefully it wasn't shitty.