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Hi - currently a 1L at Harvard and seeking to transfer for a slightly unorthodox reason. I have somehow got caught up in an abusive and psychologically manipulative relationship with another HLS student and am finding myself unable to leave this person despite several attempts. The situation is bad for me but I would prefer a smooth exit rather than report this person to the school or create 'drama' within HLS. When I approach the transfer application/my professors to ask for transfer recommendations, should I touch on the 'real' reason I want to transfer? I obviously wouldn't go into detail but this is the main (arguably only) reason I want to transfer, and I wouldn't want to seem unauthentic. Have read the pinned thread about transfer grades and I do not have any grades back -

I wouldn't, because they will tell you to seek help and report the abuser and leave him or her immediately. As you should. Moreover, this is a really terrible, unrealistic exit strategy. First, that's nine months away. Second, you don't even have grades yet this semester; there's no telling whether you have any shot at transferring to Yale (which, by the way, is competitive).

I recommend rethinking this. Good luck.

I agree with Bagel. I know this is a tough decision for you, and I know it's easy for me to give advice without being in your shoes, but I think you gotta report this person. Don't let them treat anyone else this way. I won't respect you any less if you don't report them. I understand it's a really tough thing to do. I wish you luck, and I hope you can find your way out of this bad situation.

you can transfer to schools ranked lower than H too.

Hey anon - current HLS 3L here. Believe me when I say that you are not the first person at HLS to be dealing with this awful situation, nor will you be the last. You won't be causing drama by reporting this person, and there are processes in place and resources available to you. If you'd like to talk, PM me – I can definitely send some things your way and I'm always down to just talk. I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I hope things get better for you soon.

leslieknope wrote:Hey anon - current HLS 3L here. Believe me when I say that you are not the first person at HLS to be dealing with this awful situation, nor will you be the last.

I'm probably just out of touch, but what are people talking about in this thread? What are HLS students doing to each other?

rpupkin wrote:

leslieknope wrote:Hey anon - current HLS 3L here. Believe me when I say that you are not the first person at HLS to be dealing with this awful situation, nor will you be the last.

I'm probably just out of touch, but what are people talking about in this thread? What are HLS students doing to each other?

HLS student in an abusive relationship with another HLS student.

Edit to add: this definitely is not meant to say that this is an HLS-specific problem.

Transferring doesn't sound crazy to me at all. Removing oneself from an abusive environment is the most important first step to getting your life back.

Seriously consider widening your pool to YSCC.

Best of luck, op. Regardless, do speak with someone. Don't try to do it alone.

To the above poster's point--do talk to someone. Lean on friends and family, and make use of resources around you. If you don't want to raise this with resources at HLS there are other organizations that could be of help. Casa Myrna is the first that comes to mind (https://www.casamyrna.org/get-support/), but there are others. Take care.

I encourage you to reach out to the resources on campus and those around you for support and solving this situation, and I hope that this situation works out for you. Understandably difficult choice, but please report. Abusers need to be held accountable for their actions, such that we can try to ensure they don't abuse others further.