Am I justified in being angry? Or only myself to blame?
Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 6:56 pm
I'll be frank. I'm just posting this to blow off some steam, so be sure to take it with a grain of salt. I'm a rising 2L at a T50 school. I did very poorly my first semester and much better my second semester but not quite good enough to put me in the top 50% (somewhere in the 40th percentile). I wanted to transfer to another school for family reasons that is ranked within 10 USNWR spots of my school depending on the year (sometimes behind, sometimes in front). Because of my poor first semester, I had reasonably given up the idea of transferring because this school normally demands top 1/3 for transfers. As it became apparent that I would improve my second semester, I went and visited with the target school. They had a new Dean of Admissions. I had been waitlisted the previous year, and rejected the year before that due to my strangely profound incompetence with the LSAT. The Dean was so impressed with my persistence that he offered to give me a "strong hope" of being able to transfer because of the very small c/o 2017 that was admitted. He later said that "I should feel good about my chances". For various reasons that I won't go into, to be able to transfer would have been a relief that most people never feel in their natural lives.
I kept my guard up and refused to believe that the school might admit me, my grades were not quite there and it just didn't seem rational that they would admit me over students with better grades just because I had a demonstrable history of interest and the fact that I was at a school that is a near equal in most respects. But then I received an interview about 4 weeks after applying (mid-July). I have talked to dozens of students at my target school and I've searched through every forum imaginable on the internet, and I couldn't not find one human being who had ever been granted an interview at this school and not been granted admission. Unfortunately, I let my guard down and began to believe that I might get in. Another 2 and a half weeks went by without an answer despite being told that I would have my answer before the end of the week after the interview. Then finally, I receive the decision that I was not eligible to transfer because my grades were not in the top half. What's more is that this new Dean is not calling the shots at all and has been the puppet for the associate Dean since starting at the school. I spoke again with the Dean of admissions about every possible way I could get into this damn school and it all came down to a number. What is the purpose of a committee? I'm just not seeing it here. Why would they lead me on like that over the course of nearly seven weeks? Why even have a committee at all when their job can be outsourced to a fucking calculator? Surely this wasn't deserving of a seven week deliberation - seven weeks (of my summer no less) where the possibility of transferring dominated my thoughts.
Then I try to think rationally but I can't come to a proper conclusion. Do I even have a right to be angry? Or do I just have myself to blame for allowing my self-delusion to kick in and believe that I might be accepted? Were the Dean's words and selection to interview me enough to make my hope reasonable? I want to be irrationally angry right now because I think that it will somehow make myself feel better. But my rational side won't allow it. Help.
I kept my guard up and refused to believe that the school might admit me, my grades were not quite there and it just didn't seem rational that they would admit me over students with better grades just because I had a demonstrable history of interest and the fact that I was at a school that is a near equal in most respects. But then I received an interview about 4 weeks after applying (mid-July). I have talked to dozens of students at my target school and I've searched through every forum imaginable on the internet, and I couldn't not find one human being who had ever been granted an interview at this school and not been granted admission. Unfortunately, I let my guard down and began to believe that I might get in. Another 2 and a half weeks went by without an answer despite being told that I would have my answer before the end of the week after the interview. Then finally, I receive the decision that I was not eligible to transfer because my grades were not in the top half. What's more is that this new Dean is not calling the shots at all and has been the puppet for the associate Dean since starting at the school. I spoke again with the Dean of admissions about every possible way I could get into this damn school and it all came down to a number. What is the purpose of a committee? I'm just not seeing it here. Why would they lead me on like that over the course of nearly seven weeks? Why even have a committee at all when their job can be outsourced to a fucking calculator? Surely this wasn't deserving of a seven week deliberation - seven weeks (of my summer no less) where the possibility of transferring dominated my thoughts.
Then I try to think rationally but I can't come to a proper conclusion. Do I even have a right to be angry? Or do I just have myself to blame for allowing my self-delusion to kick in and believe that I might be accepted? Were the Dean's words and selection to interview me enough to make my hope reasonable? I want to be irrationally angry right now because I think that it will somehow make myself feel better. But my rational side won't allow it. Help.
