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Does anyone else feel a bit absurd writing their resume?

The Dean of Admissions at UMich recently made a blog post in which she expressed surprise that so many of the resumes submitted by applicants appeared to be afterthoughts. Quite reasonably, she said this was one of the biggest mistakes she encountered in the application process -- since the applicant has full control over this facet, she reasoned, there's no reason for it not to shine.

I understand the logic behind this, but at the same time, I think it promotes some silliness. I know my resume is - pardon the language - pretty shitty. I've managed some bars and tended a lot more, and that's about it. I was an unimpressive undergraduate student.

Because of this, I can't bring myself to puff the positions I've undertaken, a reluctance that I'm assuming is perceived as a negative by some admissions committees. I didn't take these positions for any personal reason beyond their tangential facilitation of my desire to travel. I feel awkward and dishonest attempted to extrapolate some personal growth from the experience that just as easily could derive from some other part of my life and experiences. In sum, I feel like I'm supposed to put on a resume not what I *did* learn or accomplish in these relatively unremarkable positions, but what I *could have* learned or accomplished. Essentially, I feel like it's the same game that's played in Quarles v. New York (forgive the douchey law corollary) -- as long as a reasonable person in my position could rationally be found to have experienced personal growth, I should write about it regardless of whether I really did feel like it occurred. It just feels dishonest.

I don't even get how that would work. Outside of describing your job duties, how is a resume a place to wax poetic about the sorts of personal growth you attained from your jobs? Like how would it go - "served people drinks, attained a sense of purpose"? I'm always very brief. I work for a Court of Appeals judge and the whole description of my job is "writing bench memos." One of my co-interns was telling me how she wrote a whole paragraph about what it is we do, but I don't get that; all we do is write bench memos. I mean, the people who read these things aren't stupid.

...

I think there's a big difference between framing your responsibilities in a professional light and resume puffing. No reason, if you're an exotic dancer, to write, "Acted as leisure and relaxation liaison for fortune 500 executives, providing services which increased efficiency"

First, half the battle is going to be making sure your resume is aesthetically pleasing. This means if you're the kind of person that uses Microsoft Word templates for your resumes - just stop. Please stop. Open up a new document and create it from scratch. The templates look sloppy and screams unprofessionalism.

Once you have the aesthetics down, try to focus on the transferrable skills. What do law schools look for in their candidates? Determination? Work Ethic? Competitive spirit and drive to win? Ability to analyze problems? Don't go over the top (like sly stallone), but try to make your previous work experience stand out.

When people are coming straight from undergrad, their resumes are often horrible and I think the UM Dean is absolutely right. It's one of the only things you have COMPLETE control over - so why not make it shine?

TommyK wrote:This means if you're the kind of person that uses Microsoft Word templates for your resumes - just stop. Please stop. Open up a new document and create it from scratch. The templates look sloppy and screams unprofessionalism.

You must not have seen many resumes out in the real world. We were hiring for a low level accountant, and the only resumes that were professional were the ones created on a simple Word template. They came in all shapes and sizes, all different fonts, and they all shared one thing (aside from the template-based ones) - pure crap.

Templates make things easy on someone who reads hundreds if not thousands of resumes. You know where the information will be, and even better... you'll be able to read it. I don't understand why people think resumes need to be masterpieces of art- the substance is what matters. The form should be whatever best facilitates the reading and understanding of the substance, and for most people, that comes in the form of a template.

In the wake of the above thoughts, then, perhaps this thread should be converted to a desperate plea for help - how the hell should I describe my bartending experience, etc? Due to the fact that I never even attended class until law school (not something I'm proud of), my undergraduate pedigree is sparse, and HS is lacking entirely. Thus, my resume is almost entirely first year law school accomplishments and work experience, thus - gpa, rank, 5 book awards, moot court/lr invites (or our equivalent, both imo poor indicators of any real merit), RA positions...then, <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar>. The only thing remotely interesting about the bars is the geographic diversity, since I was constantly moving around.

Mine sucks. All retail. I'm hoping to get a little bit of volunteer work in during my first year. I have something lined up for August and then I'm just going to try and get some other things every now and then, definitely during winter break.

Hopefully I can stretch a meager amount of volunteering far enough to compensate for the lines describing how awesome I am at recommending books to customers.

CMR wrote:In the wake of the above thoughts, then, perhaps this thread should be converted to a desperate plea for help - how the hell should I describe my bartending experience, etc? Due to the fact that I never even attended class until law school (not something I'm proud of), my undergraduate pedigree is sparse, and HS is lacking entirely. Thus, my resume is almost entirely first year law school accomplishments and work experience, thus - gpa, rank, 5 book awards, moot court/lr invites (or our equivalent, both imo poor indicators of any real merit), RA positions...then, <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar>. The only thing remotely interesting about the bars is the geographic diversity, since I was constantly moving around.

As a fellow former bartender, here's how I went in terms of my resume:

X Bar
-bartender

I did, of course, change the font size and italicize "bartender" to emphasize my stylistic dynamism.

I think you are right about saving the fluff. I also think you'll end up doing ok due to the "what have you done for me lately" convention.

CMR wrote:In the wake of the above thoughts, then, perhaps this thread should be converted to a desperate plea for help - how the hell should I describe my bartending experience, etc? Due to the fact that I never even attended class until law school (not something I'm proud of), my undergraduate pedigree is sparse, and HS is lacking entirely. Thus, my resume is almost entirely first year law school accomplishments and work experience, thus - gpa, rank, 5 book awards, moot court/lr invites (or our equivalent, both imo poor indicators of any real merit), RA positions...then, <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar> <random bar>. The only thing remotely interesting about the bars is the geographic diversity, since I was constantly moving around.

I've worked with students on resumes and interviews so maybe I can help. You said you managed some bars right? This is how I would spin it (change the info as you see fit)

Generic Bar, 2006-2007
Position: Manager (if you have a more specialized title, use it)
Responsible for four to seven employees five nights a week
Performed nightly register counts
Mitigated employee and customer conflicts
Participated in employee selection and termination
Drink preparation and general upkeep

etc etc. Those are just a few duties I remembered my managers doing when I worked crappy food prep jobs, replace content as necessary. Personally I always include a "responsibilities" section; it sets your resume apart from the 50000 others that just read "bartender." I wouldn't have more than 3-5 responsibilities though, pick the top five that show leadership and experience. Also, tailor your resume to what you're applying to. For law school, the nightly register counts and employee overseeing would go first because it shows leadership and that you're trustworthy. If you're applying for, say, a summer position at a coffee shop, something that implies you know how to work an espresso machine needs to go near the top. Your resume should be fiddled with for every place you apply to; it's not a one size fits all deal.

Also, you don't list every job on a resume, that's only for the application (and even then only if they ask for every job). A resume is only supposed to be one page. Pick the positions that were recent and make you stand out.

Just my two cents.

EDIT: obviously the format needs to be fiddled with, TLS is giving me problems with indentation.

Actually, just to show how important resume puffing is in completely turning a job around on paper, I'm gonna give you the example I give to all my kids who ask why they should puff their resumes (note: if you haven't seen the Saw horror films, do a quick google search)

Jigsaw's School of Life Appreciation (2001-Present)
Position: Mentor
Self-started company designed to mentor troubled individuals
Discovered a new method of drug rehabilitation
Worked closely with victims of methamphetamine and heroine addiction
Oversaw the work of multiple apprentices


See? With a little puffing you can make ANYTHING look good. Best of all, it's all true.

Riles246 wrote:

TommyK wrote:This means if you're the kind of person that uses Microsoft Word templates for your resumes - just stop. Please stop. Open up a new document and create it from scratch. The templates look sloppy and screams unprofessionalism.

You must not have seen many resumes out in the real world. We were hiring for a low level accountant, and the only resumes that were professional were the ones created on a simple Word template. They came in all shapes and sizes, all different fonts, and they all shared one thing (aside from the template-based ones) - pure crap.

I have seen somewhere north of 100,000 resumes in my time. I'm a corporate recruiter, and before that I worked in a career center where I helped people create resumes. So I can say with absolutely no hint of ego, yes... I've seen a lot of fucking resumes. But I'm sure you helping filling one position for an entry level accounting position overrides my experience.

Also, Rikkugrrl's advice is pretty credited.

TommyK wrote:

Riles246 wrote:

TommyK wrote:This means if you're the kind of person that uses Microsoft Word templates for your resumes - just stop. Please stop. Open up a new document and create it from scratch. The templates look sloppy and screams unprofessionalism.

You must not have seen many resumes out in the real world. We were hiring for a low level accountant, and the only resumes that were professional were the ones created on a simple Word template. They came in all shapes and sizes, all different fonts, and they all shared one thing (aside from the template-based ones) - pure crap.

I have seen somewhere north of 100,000 resumes in my time. I'm a corporate recruiter, and before that I worked in a career center where I helped people create resumes. So I can say with absolutely no hint of ego, yes... I've seen a lot of fucking resumes. But I'm sure you helping filling one position for an entry level accounting position overrides my experience.

I see you can use the quote button for half of my post, but please, in your infinite wisdom and your highly professional use of profanity, answer the second half of my post. How can a template be worse than a poorly designed resume? And PLEASE enlighten me as to why form is more important than content? Were you so petty in your position that if a resume wasn't on perfume scented pink paper handwritten in calligraphy, you would just throw it in the trash? (And yes, that was a Legally Blond reference for those who are counting).

Say what you want about my guess at your lack of experience, but sadly, I feel your puffery only makes you look worse. For I truly hope a corporation's recruiter isn't so focused on form that he or she misses out on the content of the resume. It's people like you that give HR a bad name. I say again- the only purpose behind a resume is to communicate substance. Not to impress some useless HR rep who uses profanity to complain about unprofessionalism.

Riles246 wrote:
I see you can use the quote button for half of my post, but please, in your infinite wisdom and your highly professional use of profanity, answer the second half of my post. How can a template be worse than a poorly designed resume? And PLEASE enlighten me as to why form is more important than content? Were you so petty in your position that if a resume wasn't on perfume scented pink paper handwritten in calligraphy, you would just throw it in the trash? (And yes, that was a Legally Blond reference for those who are counting).

Say what you want about my guess at your lack of experience, but sadly, I feel your puffery only makes you look worse. For I truly hope a corporation's recruiter isn't so focused on form that he or she misses out on the content of the resume. It's people like you that give HR a bad name. I say again- the only purpose behind a resume is to communicate substance. Not to impress some useless HR rep who uses profanity to complain about unprofessionalism.

Epic RC fail.

I didn't say appearance is more important than content. I said that's half the battle right there. I stand by my point and continue to feel like it's valid. If you don't feel presentation is important at all, that's fine - good for you. I'm telling you that it absolutely is important to employers and speaks to your level of professionalism. If you believe content is all that matters, I would recommend you go to your next interview in a wrinkled shirt and a pair of chino shorts. Let me know how it goes. I'm sure your would-be employer would be amazed at your stellar content. Aesthetically pleasing and neat resumes without content, however, is not sufficient either. At the risk of strawmanning you, go ahead and write your resume on the back of a napkin. I'm sure the content will stand out.

Read my post again. I said that there's a difference between resume puffing and framing your responsibilities in a professional light. I argued against puffing, and instead really focusing on identifying the high level skills your demonstrate in your job you have now. My suggestion was right in line with the examples Rkkugrrl provided. Again, props to Rkkugrrl for very solid posts.

What's frustrating to me, amigo, is that I feel our beliefs are not that far off. I believe 100% that resume exaggeration is something that should be avoided. I just believe that the Microsoft Word templates for resumes are HORRIBLE. They have horrible use of space so you end up in a position where you can't put as much information as you might otherwise want to.

Regarding your legally blonde reference - Sorry, haven't seen the film. Not on my list to either, but I'll assume that's what the protagonist used in her application process. I like what you did there - it's a fun fallacy - the fallacy of the false dichotomy. You asked me why would a poorly written resume be better than a template? Answer - it wouldn't be. You're ignoring the very real possibility that I actually meant to replace the templace with a well formatted resume. A well-formatted resume not only makes it look better. It's easier to read, and provides you ample space for the content. Like architecture, a good resume is the marriage of form and function.

Like it or not, how you present yourself is absolutely part of how you will be evaluated. As the UM Dean said, the resume is one of the few pieces of the application process you can control. There is no excuse to not make it shine. I'm shocked you're trying to make what I said anywhere near controversial. I've never heard anybody try to claim presentation doesn't matter in the job-search process.

P.S. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings using the f-word. I didn't realize I was dealing with such a delicate flower.

I have no hiring experience besides for being one of the students selected to be part of a hiring comittee for the honors director back at my UG (and obviously academia resumes are a completely different animal than corporate ones) but based off my experience applying to countless corporate jobs including the two I worked at major I-banks, I had no problem getting interviews/offers from a MS Word template resume.

Unless you're referring to completely unedited templates? Because you mentioned the amount of space they take and I agree with that, if you just use the template as is, there will be plenty of uneeded space. But if you take the template, fill it out and carefully craft it and adjust it per your needs, I find it comes out in an aesthetically pleasing fashion with all the information neatly ordered.

TommyK wrote:

Riles246 wrote:
I see you can use the quote button for half of my post, but please, in your infinite wisdom and your highly professional use of profanity, answer the second half of my post. How can a template be worse than a poorly designed resume? And PLEASE enlighten me as to why form is more important than content? Were you so petty in your position that if a resume wasn't on perfume scented pink paper handwritten in calligraphy, you would just throw it in the trash? (And yes, that was a Legally Blond reference for those who are counting).

Say what you want about my guess at your lack of experience, but sadly, I feel your puffery only makes you look worse. For I truly hope a corporation's recruiter isn't so focused on form that he or she misses out on the content of the resume. It's people like you that give HR a bad name. I say again- the only purpose behind a resume is to communicate substance. Not to impress some useless HR rep who uses profanity to complain about unprofessionalism.

Epic RC fail.

I didn't say appearance is more important than content. I said that's half the battle right there. I stand by my point and continue to feel like it's valid. If you don't feel presentation is important at all, that's fine - good for you. I'm telling you that it absolutely is important to employers and speaks to your level of professionalism. If you believe content is all that matters, I would recommend you go to your next interview in a wrinkled shirt and a pair of chino shorts. Let me know how it goes. I'm sure your would-be employer would be amazed at your stellar content. Aesthetically pleasing and neat resumes without content, however, is not sufficient either. At the risk of strawmanning you, go ahead and write your resume on the back of a napkin. I'm sure the content will stand out.

Read my post again. I said that there's a difference between resume puffing and framing your responsibilities in a professional light. I argued against puffing, and instead really focusing on identifying the high level skills your demonstrate in your job you have now. My suggestion was right in line with the examples Rkkugrrl provided. Again, props to Rkkugrrl for very solid posts.

What's frustrating to me, amigo, is that I feel our beliefs are not that far off. I believe 100% that resume exaggeration is something that should be avoided. I just believe that the Microsoft Word templates for resumes are HORRIBLE. They have horrible use of space so you end up in a position where you can't put as much information as you might otherwise want to.

Regarding your legally blonde reference - Sorry, haven't seen the film. Not on my list to either, but I'll assume that's what the protagonist used in her application process. I like what you did there - it's a fun fallacy - the fallacy of the false dichotomy. You asked me why would a poorly written resume be better than a template? Answer - it wouldn't be. You're ignoring the very real possibility that I actually meant to replace the templace with a well formatted resume. A well-formatted resume not only makes it look better. It's easier to read, and provides you ample space for the content. Like architecture, a good resume is the marriage of form and function.

Like it or not, how you present yourself is absolutely part of how you will be evaluated. As the UM Dean said, the resume is one of the few pieces of the application process you can control. There is no excuse to not make it shine. I'm shocked you're trying to make what I said anywhere near controversial. I've never heard anybody try to claim presentation doesn't matter in the job-search process.

P.S. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings using the f-word. I didn't realize I was dealing with such a delicate flower.

Woooow are we talking about how to improve resumes or debating pro-life v pro-choice? Some intense stuff going on here.

About templates: No, they're not as big a deal as the content, but I usually teach that making your own format is the better option. It shows that you spent more time on the resume than template applicants and that you have some sort of skill with Word. However, it's only the better option if you know how to do it. Employers won't be impressed by strange tabbing, pink glitter, poetry or any other cutesy little gesture, and they definitely won't be impressed by a sloppy resume, so when in doubt use a template. Like I said though, this doesn't matter all too much as long as it's neat.

The short answer about content: simply writing "bartender," or any other worthless job on your resume, the name of the bar, and the year is not a good idea, don't do it.

The long answer: The point of a resume is to make employers interested in you. They don't know you, they don't know about your jobs, and you're getting about 15-30 seconds of their time with your resume. As the OP already noted, "bartender" will not impress them. You may very well have picked up some valuable leadership experience with your job, but they won't know that unless you tell them. And you can easily do this without lying or even exaggerating.

Let me elaborate on the Saw example. For those who aren't horror junkies like I am, Jigsaw is a mass murdering psychopath who forces people into body-mutilating traps in an attempt to make them appreciate their life. If Jigsaw were to write that on his resume, he most likely wouldn't get the job. But notice that I didn't say a word about any of that. That's the lovely thing about resumes, you only need to spin the positives. Jigsaw would need to emphasize his leadership in overseeing multiple apprentices and his success with rehabilitating drug addicts. All of that is 100% true and not exaggerated.

Managing jobs do teach a few (not a lot, but a few) skills that would be desirable to an office setting. I've listed a few of them in my first post on the thread. But an employer isn't going to psychically know all that, especially if he never had do any kind of menial labor in his life. And trust me, he won't be bothering to find out as he cheerily throws that 20 word resume in the trash. As for the negatives of the job (the biggest one being that it probably really really sucked), just don't do it. There's no need to tell your employers that you're a klutz and spilled people's drinks all the time or kept getting different counts when you counted the register for your first few nights. That's like me going on a blind date and saying "HEY SWEETIE I'M RIKKUGRRL AND I LIKE HORROR MOVIES THAT ARE SO GORY THEY HAVE BEEN EQUATED TO TORTURE PORN! WANNA MAKE OUT?" Highlight the positives, keep the negatives to yourself (unless of course it's something you have to report, like a felony. Then, spin the positives of that. Again, see the Jigsaw example).

That doesn't mean you have to write a book. Stay away from complete, lengthy sentences, and stick to four or five things you got out of the job that might look attractive to employers. Honestly, that's not even puffing. That's just letting the employer know what you have to offer.

Rikkugrrl wrote:Actually, just to show how important resume puffing is in completely turning a job around on paper, I'm gonna give you the example I give to all my kids who ask why they should puff their resumes (note: if you haven't seen the Saw horror films, do a quick google search)

Jigsaw's School of Life Appreciation (2001-Present)
Position: Mentor
Self-started company designed to mentor troubled individuals
Discovered a new method of drug rehabilitation
Worked closely with victims of methamphetamine and heroine addiction
Oversaw the work of multiple apprentices


See? With a little puffing you can make ANYTHING look good. Best of all, it's all true.

This is exactly what I did, actually - in terms of framing my job position. For every meaningful position I occupied, I attempted to craft pithy statements that demonstrated what my responsibilites and accomplishments were.

Err...thanks for the advice.

*backs slowly away while speaking in a calm, low voice and avoiding eye contact*

I was told by the career services people in my engineering school to put projects on your resume over irrelevant job experience. Not sure if this is universally sound advice, but it was certainly a game changer when applying for technical positions.