Dog owners of TLS - Should I rehome my puppy before I start in big law? Forum

[Anonymous User]

This is anonymous b/c the details could out me/I've posted on other forums with the same username.

I'm currently a 3L and I have a 4 mo. old puppy. Got her at 8 weeks old when I was still with my boyfriend. Since then, we've broken up and I've been taking care of the puppy on my own. I'm a first time pet owner and owning a puppy has been harder than I've expected. Still, it's mostly manageable right now as my 3L year is a joke with few commitments.

I will be joining a big law firm this fall. I'm considering how busy I will be once I start and am not sure of what's best for the dog. She'll be about a year old by the time I start and I know I would be looking at weekly dog walkers, sitters, and so on. She brings me so much joy but I'm not sure if keeping her would be what's best for her given what's to come. She seems young enough right now to more easily adjust to a new home if necessary.

Input from dog owners most welcome. Especially those of you that are single. What has it been like working in big law and caring for your dog? I know there have been a few posts about this but I feel my circumstance is a bit different than what has been posted before. Ty.

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Based on another thread that was posted here, you may be able to bring the dog to work with you.

[crazywafflez]

I'm a dog owner, dog lover, etc.

I'd try and rehome the dog now, if you must. It'll be easier to get them adopted while they are a young puppy- after about a year it becomes much harder, as many people only want the dog for the puppy phase.

I think BL and having a dog is totally fine- get a dog walker to come once or twice a day (you might be remote a day of the week) and then walk the dog at night- and spend lots of time with them in the evenings and on the weekend etc.

Being a dog owner is not easy and if you feel it won't be possible for you I'd find them a new home asap. No judgment, I think being a dog owner is hard and only people who have the time, ability, and energy should do it.

It is possible to be in BL and a responsible dog owner, but you've got to be willing to sacrifice your own time and money for something you love.

[Anonymous User]

Keep the dog. You'll make enough money to hire the services you'll need in a pinch, and tbh you'll need the joy she brings you more than ever as an associate.

My situation is quite different from yours (midlevel with a newborn and large breed puppy), but I think I had a lot of the same worries that you did about a dog (not to mention a kid) in biglaw. In the end of the day if it's worth it to you you will make it work.

[Anonymous User]

Dog lover here. I have more than one. Married, but one of my close friends at the office is a single gal who also loves her dog, so I see what she goes through too.

My honest take right off the cuff: If you can find your dog a wonderful new home, that is fully vetted by personal knowledge by you, the dog might have a happier life there. It's not a bad option.

If you can't, your biglaw salary will give you plenty of resources to raise a happy and healthy dog--it's just that you won't have as much time with her as you want. You will probably need her more than she needs you, because you will soon be entering the pits of hell known as 15 hour days and what not, and slowly losing touch with your soul, which your dog can maybe force you to barely keep alive for a while. By the time you burn out and think about leaving biglaw--typically 2 to 4 years in--your puppy will still be a young dog.

The puppy phase is truly pretty tough to deal with, especially the chewing. It can last 1-2 years.

[Anonymous User]

Based on another thread that was posted here, you may be able to bring the dog to work with you.

I'm ignorant to this. Are there known firms that permit this? Or is it a California firm trend.

[nixy]

Based on another thread that was posted here, you may be able to bring the dog to work with you.

I'm ignorant to this. Are there known firms that permit this? Or is it a California firm trend.

I think it’s a reference to this: viewtopic.php?f=23&t=312506&hilit=Dog+work

[jotarokujo]

keep the puppy. It will be easier to manage by the time you start at biglaw, and like others said you'll have way more resources to do so. the fact that you are managing well now (without hiring any help?), even though you say 3L is a joke, also bodes well.

when you get to biglaw you'll find it's worth it to spend time and money on activities you enjoy

[Anonymous User]

Dog lover here. I have more than one. Married, but one of my close friends at the office is a single gal who also loves her dog, so I see what she goes through too.

My honest take right off the cuff: If you can find your dog a wonderful new home, that is fully vetted by personal knowledge by you, the dog might have a happier life there. It's not a bad option.

If you can't, your biglaw salary will give you plenty of resources to raise a happy and healthy dog--it's just that you won't have as much time with her as you want. You will probably need her more than she needs you, because you will soon be entering the pits of hell known as 15 hour days and what not, and slowly losing touch with your soul, which your dog can maybe force you to barely keep alive for a while. By the time you burn out and think about leaving biglaw--typically 2 to 4 years in--your puppy will still be a young dog.

The puppy phase is truly pretty tough to deal with, especially the chewing. It can last 1-2 years.

This is right, and it isn't something that's talked about. The hardest time, in my opinion, is not the puppy stages - it's the f***ing adolescent stage. My puppy is now 15 months old and it's been extremely challenging these past six months. He has so much damn energy and managing it with a BL job has not been easy.

[ignorantfoot96]

I got a puppy in 3L and I am now a junior associate, I think it is fine. My firm is hybrid, so I am home half the time to care for the dog and for the other times I just pay for doggy day care. Personally, my dog improves my mental health, but I am an animal person. If there is no benefit for you then I would recommend rehoming ASAP (while it is cute and puppy like the other poster mentioned). However, big law (post-pandemic) makes dog ownership a lot more feasible in my opinion.

[papermateflair]

I adopted an adult dog as a junior associate and have a puppy now, and both are manageable as long as you are willing to pay for the services your dog needs to live their best life - maybe it's daycare a couple of days a week combined with a dog walker the other couple of days, and then you work from home some days. Maybe you have a friend who works from home who you can rotate puppy sitting with. If you have family (or a very close friend) who loves your dog and can take them when you're particularly busy or have to travel, that can also work. Ultimately dogs just need the basics - you don't have to provide them with some instagram perfect life. They sleep like 18 hours a day, you just need to make the couple of morning hours and evening hours happy and joyful for them, provide them with some sort of mid-day exercise outlet (or daycare) and they'll be thrilled to spend their life with you. I will say having the puppy is pretty hard compared to the dog (who had a great routine), but the early puppy stages are the worst and each week the puppy becomes slightly more trustworthy. Your puppy will be in a much better place by the time you start working.

Many of the partners I have worked for have been dog owners, and they have all been very understanding of "I need to leave by 6:30 to pick up my dog at daycare" or "I have to step out to take the dog out for 15 minutes but then I'll be back online." It's probably one of the only respected excuses to step away for a few minutes (as long as it's not like you're leaving every day at 4:30 and not turning your computer back on) because everyone knows what happens if you don't take the dog out. I've been single the whole time I've had a dog, and it just means that I'm responsible for making sure things get handled for the dog, and the people I work with/for understand that I'm not just trying to slack off if I go home at 7:30 to walk the dog (pre-pandemic - post-pandemic I just work from home and no one cares where I am any more ).

I would keep the dog, because no job should dictate whether you can enjoy having a puppy or not, but also...if you've taken on more than you can handle, and you can find a wonderful new home for your dog, it's better to do it sooner rather than when the dog is older and will have a much harder transition. You don't want to resent the dog, and if you need to have your plate fully cleared when you start work, that's something to consider - you know yourself best and what you need. But if you are thinking that you can only keep your puppy if it's going to have a stay at home puppy parent, then that's not true at all, and unless your puppy grows up to be highly unsocial (please socialize your pup so you aren't dealing with an unsocial adult dog) you'll have plenty of options to keep them busy when you're busy. If you're going to resent the amount of money it'll cost for daycare/walkers then that's also something to consider.

[indent]

I am a total lurker but this post brought me out.

If your dog improves your life you should keep your dog. Having a puppy is ridiculously stressful and I think most puppy owners would be lying if they didn't think twice once the pressure of taking care of one really hit. By the time you start at a firm, though, your dog will be 1 and the insanity of having a puppy will have (mostly) calmed down. While you might not have a totally calm grown up dog, it's a lot less pressure. Also not putting bets on what remote work will look like next year, but I don't think firms are going to force you into the office 5 days a week, so you're looking at a dog sitter/walker for only three-ish days. It can get expensive depending on where you live (and depending on your standards for reliability/safety. There are a TON of sketchy dog walkers, especially in NYC) and obviously helps if you have family or close friends nearby. One of the more difficult things I found was that I moved to a new city, then pretty much immediately went on a work trip and had to find a dog sitter on very short notice because I didn't know a single person here.

Dogs are a lot of work but they also come with benefits. It's been a decent conversation starter with partners and associates with whom I have nothing else in common. A surprising number of associates and partners at all levels have dogs. Having a dog is also a great excuse to avoid staying late at firm social events (and honestly, staying late at the office on normal work nights). I'm young, I live alone and for all my firm knows I'm single. It's a lot easier to say "I have to go home to let my dog out" than it is to say you're doing it just 'cause.

Of course it's also important to think about the dog's quality of life. This is pretty specific to the breed and temperament of the dog. I think most dogs can be happy with an owner in BigLaw as long as you make it a priority with dog walking, actually getting them outside of the city you're working in every once in a while, and keeping them mentally and physically active. But it's not impossible. And honestly doing things like getting out of town with my dog are things I probably wouldn't have done for myself, but which obviously benefit me and my wellbeing as well.

tl;dr I would keep the dog if you want the dog. Having a dog is not incompatible with biglaw.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

JFC, re-prioritize your life before you do something terrible like giving up your dog so you can be better at your desk job. It does not matter anywhere near as much as you seem to think and if you don’t take it off a pedestal you are going to entirely wreck yourself mentally and physically. I’m not exaggerating; I watched it happen to a bunch of people.

You’re not the only one this industry drives nuts. Some girl years ago on here asked if she should get an abortion because she thought taking time off to give birth would jeopardize her summer offer chances. Dial it back like six notches.

[Anonymous User]

OP here. A lot of helpful advice! Appreciate each of you providing your input and perspective. A lot here that I definitely needed to hear. Thank you!

[dtlaatty]

I adopted a nine month old puppy, a high-energy breed, as a fourth year associate just before Covid hit. It's now been almost three years. She has been a godsend, especially during the height of the Covid WFH office closure when biglaw work could be extremely isolating depending on your practice (mine at the time involved a huge amount of solitary legal research and brief drafting), and brought great happiness to our lives that far, far outweighs any minor inconveniences. Whatever challenge there might be in getting through the puppy phase (and I recognize I skipped the first eight months that you are dealing with), you will receive far more back in benefits to your health -- mental as well as physical as the requisite walks turn out to be just as good for us as they are for them. I would encourage you to stick with it especially as the worst puppy days will be behind you by the fall (though if you decide to rehome, now is better than later) and also look into doggie daycare for days when you will be gone for 8 hours or more rather than a walker -- you know your dog is being taken care of at all times, he/she will be exhausted after playing with the other dogs all day, and he/she will quickly become very socialized. The benefit of this job, as others have noted, is that even a fancy dog daycare is eminently affordable.

[Anonymous User]

No…

[Anonymous User]

Depends on the breed and dog. Some dogs you absolutely cannot leave at home all day. But that’s the exception, not the rule.

[Anonymous User]

This is anonymous b/c the details could out me/I've posted on other forums with the same username.

I'm currently a 3L and I have a 4 mo. old puppy. Got her at 8 weeks old when I was still with my boyfriend. Since then, we've broken up and I've been taking care of the puppy on my own. I'm a first time pet owner and owning a puppy has been harder than I've expected. Still, it's mostly manageable right now as my 3L year is a joke with few commitments.

I will be joining a big law firm this fall. I'm considering how busy I will be once I start and am not sure of what's best for the dog. She'll be about a year old by the time I start and I know I would be looking at weekly dog walkers, sitters, and so on. She brings me so much joy but I'm not sure if keeping her would be what's best for her given what's to come. She seems young enough right now to more easily adjust to a new home if necessary.

Input from dog owners most welcome. Especially those of you that are single. What has it been like working in big law and caring for your dog? I know there have been a few posts about this but I feel my circumstance is a bit different than what has been posted before. Ty.

What breed is it? I think you can certainly keep it and give it a great life if you are willing to spend money for things like you mentioned and maybe “doggy daycare” as well. I also know people who do none of those things and just go home to walk the dog during lunch and they seem to have happy and wonderful dogs too.

[Anonymous User]

JFC, re-prioritize your life before you do something terrible like giving up your dog so you can be better at your desk job. It does not matter anywhere near as much as you seem to think and if you don’t take it off a pedestal you are going to entirely wreck yourself mentally and physically. I’m not exaggerating; I watched it happen to a bunch of people.

You’re not the only one this industry drives nuts. Some girl years ago on here asked if she should get an abortion because she thought taking time off to give birth would jeopardize her summer offer chances. Dial it back like six notches.

Echo everything this person said. Get your priorities in check and do not give up your pup because of your firm (which will boot you without hesitation just to keep PPP up). Sync up with when parents at your firm are going offline to take care of their kids (usually 5-7:30/8) and take care of your pup during this time. At a V10 and have done this for the past 4 years without issue. Had similar concerns when I started and glad I didn’t give up on my little guy.

[Anonymous User]

I’m the poster above. Forgot to include I’m single and have not used any Roover or any dog walker services. Walking your pup is time to bond with them (plus additional benefits that I’m too lazy to type right now).

[Anonymous User]

JFC...

Echo everything this person said...

I remember the first time I fangirled Mono.

[Mountainvalleywater]

JFC...

Echo everything this person said...

I remember the first time I fangirled Mono.

OP - please take this guy's message to heart. Biglaw is a job. Will you work hard? Absolutely. Do you need to literally sign your soul over to satan in exchange for your paycheck? No.

Dogs are a legit awesome way to get to leave the office early, and no one in my entire time at biglaw has cared that I've ever had to dip out for vet appointments, or to take the dog out, to stay home when the dog is sick, etc. (way before covid too). You are permitted to have a life outside of the four walls of your office. People manage to have and raise children in biglaw, you can handle raising a dog.

It frankly is probably way easier now than ever before since most firms I know are going to a 3 days in 2 days home model.

By a year old dogs can be alone for a long time. Either get a dog walker to come help out once a day, dip out at lunch and come back (this was feasible for me since I lived within 20 minutes of my office), or put the dog in doggie daycare for a few days a week. Tons of ways to manage it.

[Anonymous User]

JFC...

Echo everything this person said...

I remember the first time I fangirled Mono.

OP - please take this guy's message to heart. Biglaw is a job. Will you work hard? Absolutely. Do you need to literally sign your soul over to satan in exchange for your paycheck? No.

Dogs are a legit awesome way to get to leave the office early, and no one in my entire time at biglaw has cared that I've ever had to dip out for vet appointments, or to take the dog out, to stay home when the dog is sick, etc. (way before covid too). You are permitted to have a life outside of the four walls of your office. People manage to have and raise children in biglaw, you can handle raising a dog.

It frankly is probably way easier now than ever before since most firms I know are going to a 3 days in 2 days home model.

By a year old dogs can be alone for a long time. Either get a dog walker to come help out once a day, dip out at lunch and come back (this was feasible for me since I lived within 20 minutes of my office), or put the dog in doggie daycare for a few days a week. Tons of ways to manage it.

I’m the “Echo everything…” poster above. Agree with this person as well. My little guy (10+ years old) was home alone today crushing Season 3 of SpongeBob for 8 hours and he was totally fine. May switch it up for him tomorrow and put on The Magic School Bus. TBD.

[Anonymous User]

JFC...

Echo everything this person said...

I remember the first time I fangirled Mono.

OP - please take this guy's message to heart. Biglaw is a job. Will you work hard? Absolutely. Do you need to literally sign your soul over to satan in exchange for your paycheck? No.

Dogs are a legit awesome way to get to leave the office early, and no one in my entire time at biglaw has cared that I've ever had to dip out for vet appointments, or to take the dog out, to stay home when the dog is sick, etc. (way before covid too). You are permitted to have a life outside of the four walls of your office. People manage to have and raise children in biglaw, you can handle raising a dog.

It frankly is probably way easier now than ever before since most firms I know are going to a 3 days in 2 days home model.

By a year old dogs can be alone for a long time. Either get a dog walker to come help out once a day, dip out at lunch and come back (this was feasible for me since I lived within 20 minutes of my office), or put the dog in doggie daycare for a few days a week. Tons of ways to manage it.

OP here. Definitely taking it to heart! My question was informed by my fear of not being able to manage the demands of a big law job along with the stress of managing care for a dog on my own. I am a first gen law student and knew very little about big law before law school, still don't know much, and I may have an irrational fear or expectation about the dedication/focus needed to do well. The comments on here have been very reassuring and also have provided me with a reality adjustment. Much appreciated!

[jotarokujo]

OP here. Definitely taking it to heart! My question was informed by my fear of not being able to manage the demands of a big law job along with the stress of managing care for a dog on my own. I am a first gen law student and knew very little about big law before law school, still don't know much, and I may have an irrational fear or expectation about the dedication/focus needed to do well. The comments on here have been very reassuring and also have provided me with a reality adjustment. Much appreciated!

you seem to have been able to find a good balance in law school, which is no easy feat, particularly when being first gen. keep the same mindset/habits going into biglaw as you have now and you'll be fine

the folks i know who had the worst time in biglaw were the gunners in law school who couldn't turn off the gunning in biglaw despite no desire to make partner