Cooley layoffs Forum

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Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 5:30 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 09, 2022 9:15 pm
This is such a non-issue :roll:

Everyone’s trying to make this into a bigger story than it is, they weren’t large scale layoffs, again just a couple of low performing associates. I feel like someone must be really upset about being laid off and is going around and starting rumors all over the place.

Sure things are slow, the firm is tightening up and letting some low performers go but that’s seriously it
This is definitely in the running for "worst comment of 2022"

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 5:31 pm

At WSGR and very scared right now, annualizing below 1500.

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Monochromatic Oeuvre

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Monochromatic Oeuvre » Wed Nov 30, 2022 5:34 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 5:30 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 09, 2022 9:15 pm
This is such a non-issue :roll:

Everyone’s trying to make this into a bigger story than it is, they weren’t large scale layoffs, again just a couple of low performing associates. I feel like someone must be really upset about being laid off and is going around and starting rumors all over the place.

Sure things are slow, the firm is tightening up and letting some low performers go but that’s seriously it
This is definitely in the running for "worst comment of 2022"
One of the drawbacks of the change in anon policy has been never getting to see who shows their ass like this.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 6:18 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 09, 2022 9:15 pm
This is such a non-issue :roll:

Everyone’s trying to make this into a bigger story than it is, they weren’t large scale layoffs, again just a couple of low performing associates. I feel like someone must be really upset about being laid off and is going around and starting rumors all over the place.

Sure things are slow, the firm is tightening up and letting some low performers go but that’s seriously it
This post didn't age well.

Anonymous User
Posts: 428125
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 6:19 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 5:31 pm
At WSGR and very scared right now, annualizing below 1500.
Was laid off at WSGR a few months ago. I'd start looking. Around 2 months severance. Cheap ass. Avoid firm at all costs.

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Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 6:28 pm

On an impromptu all hands call after the announcement was released today, the head of the New York office unironically cited “Russia’s invasion of Ukraine” as a reason for the layoffs.

As anyone who has been paying attention for the past few months can tell you, Cooley is an extremely toxic firm that touts its fake culture. Law students beware.

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 6:48 pm

Anyone know which class years affected? I'm guessing stubs that just joined are relatively safe?

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 7:14 pm

Disgraceful.

Even worse, this will open the floodgates for other firms to conduct mass layoffs that they can't possibly characterize as "performance". Nobody wants to be first, but with Cooley as first mover, others will jump on board, and it will become normalized in the next little bit. All eyes on K&E.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 7:59 pm

Cooley treating associates like doc review attorneys. Crazy.

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Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:04 pm

sad how dead this place is. is everyone just on fishbowl now?

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:27 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:04 pm
sad how dead this place is. is everyone just on fishbowl now?
Do you have a link?

True, in the old days, a post like this would have a 1000 responses by now.

objctnyrhnr

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by objctnyrhnr » Wed Nov 30, 2022 9:31 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 6:18 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 09, 2022 9:15 pm
This is such a non-issue :roll:

Everyone’s trying to make this into a bigger story than it is, they weren’t large scale layoffs, again just a couple of low performing associates. I feel like someone must be really upset about being laid off and is going around and starting rumors all over the place.

Sure things are slow, the firm is tightening up and letting some low performers go but that’s seriously it
This post didn't age well.
Worst post I’ve seen this year, due to a combo of douchey tone and being about as counter-factual as can possibly be, goes to ….

Coffeeaddict100. Relatively new user. 2 posts total, it seems. Do with that info what you will.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Nov 30, 2022 10:02 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:27 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:04 pm
sad how dead this place is. is everyone just on fishbowl now?
Do you have a link?

True, in the old days, a post like this would have a 1000 responses by now.
Unclear if allowed to post fb links so mods please delete if against the rules

https://www.fishbowlapp.com/post/is-it- ... seems-wild

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Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 1:03 am

Cooley should be avoided if possible. Get out while you can. Stay away if you can. When firms show you who they are, believe them.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 1:48 am

Horrible timing too. What POS to do this right before the holidays

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 8:36 am

I’ve had the unfortunate opportunity to interact with several Cooley partners over the last couple years. The amount of smoke they’ll blow up your ass about the firm’s “culture” and “collegiality” and how they’re “different” and “growing” is astounding. I work at a V25 that isn’t exactly known for those thing (other than “growing”—we check that box for real, not pretend), but then again we aren’t firing a bunch of young attorneys four weeks before Christmas (we will be doing 0 layoffs this year). It’s a good reminder to never drink the Kool-Aid—if I was hearing this garbage about “Cooley Culture” from the other side I’m sure the associates packing their bags were hearing it too. This is frankly disgusting.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 10:21 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 7:14 pm
Disgraceful.

Even worse, this will open the floodgates for other firms to conduct mass layoffs that they can't possibly characterize as "performance". Nobody wants to be first, but with Cooley as first mover, others will jump on board, and it will become normalized in the next little bit. All eyes on K&E.
Lol of course there’s K&E shade being dropped into a thread about some other firm. K&E already did its layoffs back in September/October (which was discussed at great lengths all across the legal internet and media), but it was only 0.6% of the firm, not 9% like here. K&E isn’t tied to directly to tech (or any other particular industry for that matter) and is instead totally wrapped up in PE. If PE ever gets wrecked, K&E will get wrecked, but otherwise it’s more insulated from economic turmoil than firms that mostly serve actual companies (just like the PE clients are).

Also, while this thread is already derailed, notice the comments about how firms like Cooley spout lots of BS about their “culture” and how soft and friendly they are, but then turn around a screw you without a second thought during a downturn? This is what people like me have always tried to point out about K&E - you may not like their “we’re here to make money and you’re here to make us money” attitude but in reality it’s the exact same at every other law firm and at least K&E is honest about it.

*End derailment of Cooley thread*

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legalpotato

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by legalpotato » Thu Dec 01, 2022 11:44 am

EDIT: Deleted

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:00 pm

Heard from a friend who is in the know that Cooley laid off people who also had hit bonus hours for the year. Their partners are greedy and when they match the year-end-bonus scale, are going to look like poison. Avoid.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:23 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 10:02 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:27 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:04 pm
sad how dead this place is. is everyone just on fishbowl now?
Do you have a link?

True, in the old days, a post like this would have a 1000 responses by now.
Unclear if allowed to post fb links so mods please delete if against the rules

https://www.fishbowlapp.com/post/is-it- ... seems-wild
Yep, it's a bummer because I prefer the old-school format on here, but fishbowl has definitely supplanted TLS. 100+ comments on the original announcement (hours before here) and dozens of follow-up posts already.

Anonymous User
Posts: 428125
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:28 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Dec 01, 2022 10:21 am
Anonymous User wrote:
Wed Nov 30, 2022 7:14 pm
Disgraceful.

Even worse, this will open the floodgates for other firms to conduct mass layoffs that they can't possibly characterize as "performance". Nobody wants to be first, but with Cooley as first mover, others will jump on board, and it will become normalized in the next little bit. All eyes on K&E.
Lol of course there’s K&E shade being dropped into a thread about some other firm. K&E already did its layoffs back in September/October (which was discussed at great lengths all across the legal internet and media), but it was only 0.6% of the firm, not 9% like here. K&E isn’t tied to directly to tech (or any other particular industry for that matter) and is instead totally wrapped up in PE. If PE ever gets wrecked, K&E will get wrecked, but otherwise it’s more insulated from economic turmoil than firms that mostly serve actual companies (just like the PE clients are).

Also, while this thread is already derailed, notice the comments about how firms like Cooley spout lots of BS about their “culture” and how soft and friendly they are, but then turn around a screw you without a second thought during a downturn? This is what people like me have always tried to point out about K&E - you may not like their “we’re here to make money and you’re here to make us money” attitude but in reality it’s the exact same at every other law firm and at least K&E is honest about it.

*End derailment of Cooley thread*
Well, you can't just spout off a bunch of misinformation and declare "end of derailment". And its true, you can't get through a single TLS thread without some recent K&E lateral acting as apologist.

K&E did stealth layoffs back in sept/oct. So did Cooley. We are now, unfortunately, in a situation where, thanks to Cooley opening the floodgates, we are talking about shameless public layoffs.

I know for a fact not all of those K&E stealths were performance based. I also know for a fact lots of ppl are slow. I also know for a fact that one of their offices had a really scary in person mandatory meeting for certain practice groups where they had a "come to jesus" moment with their associates. You and I also know that K&E hired ppl who never would have been hired so that K&E can get every dollar during 2021. Diversification of practice areas is not a hedge against over-hiring.

I am not sure how the bolded helps your case. K&E threw up a middle finger in 2021 and hired anyone with a pulse - to get that money. You should be concerned about what K&E is willing to do in 2022 without the insane deal flow.

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:40 pm

Which KE office had the come to Jesus moment? I've no doubt that we're ruthless. The firm's restructuring practice does serve as a counterweight to a true downturn (lots of people can turn into restructuring lawyers in a pinch), but the increasing size of corporate vs restructuring may make that counterweight less impactful (on a relative-to-size-of-total-firm) basis than it used to be.

As an above poster said, though, at least Kirkland is just Kirkland. Cooley pretending to be some paradise progressive firm and then ruthlessly firing bonus-eligible people is far more damnably hypocritical.

RedNewJersey

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by RedNewJersey » Thu Dec 01, 2022 1:27 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:40 pm
Which KE office had the come to Jesus moment? I've no doubt that we're ruthless. The firm's restructuring practice does serve as a counterweight to a true downturn (lots of people can turn into restructuring lawyers in a pinch), but the increasing size of corporate vs restructuring may make that counterweight less impactful (on a relative-to-size-of-total-firm) basis than it used to be.

As an above poster said, though, at least Kirkland is just Kirkland. Cooley pretending to be some paradise progressive firm and then ruthlessly firing bonus-eligible people is far more damnably hypocritical.
I'm not a big KE fan, but I do wonder whether law firms who try to have more humane hours have a harder time avoiding layoffs during downturns. Moving from 2300 hours on average to 1900 or whatever doesn't force you to cut many people. Moving from 2000 to 1600 does.

The prediction from this theory is that, assuming Cooley tries in good faith to be more humane, it will be in a worse position during a downturn. The costs of keeping people would be higher for them than for firms like KE, meaning they are likely to cut more even if they were less ruthless (which, you know, is not clear).

Wanderingdrock

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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Wanderingdrock » Thu Dec 01, 2022 1:54 pm

RedNewJersey wrote:
Thu Dec 01, 2022 1:27 pm
Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:40 pm
Which KE office had the come to Jesus moment? I've no doubt that we're ruthless. The firm's restructuring practice does serve as a counterweight to a true downturn (lots of people can turn into restructuring lawyers in a pinch), but the increasing size of corporate vs restructuring may make that counterweight less impactful (on a relative-to-size-of-total-firm) basis than it used to be.

As an above poster said, though, at least Kirkland is just Kirkland. Cooley pretending to be some paradise progressive firm and then ruthlessly firing bonus-eligible people is far more damnably hypocritical.
I'm not a big KE fan, but I do wonder whether law firms who try to have more humane hours have a harder time avoiding layoffs during downturns. Moving from 2300 hours on average to 1900 or whatever doesn't force you to cut many people. Moving from 2000 to 1600 does.

The prediction from this theory is that, assuming Cooley tries in good faith to be more humane, it will be in a worse position during a downturn. The costs of keeping people would be higher for them than for firms like KE, meaning they are likely to cut more even if they were less ruthless (which, you know, is not clear).
Unless you've got crazy leverage, most of the hours difference will shake out in the PPP, though, no? End of the day, they're doing layoffs to preserve whatever their PPP is, with the assumption being that the firm going from 2000 to 1600 has a lower PPP to begin with than the firm going 2300 to 1900.

Anonymous User
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Re: Cooley layoffs

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Dec 01, 2022 2:19 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:40 pm
Which KE office had the come to Jesus moment? I've no doubt that we're ruthless. The firm's restructuring practice does serve as a counterweight to a true downturn (lots of people can turn into restructuring lawyers in a pinch), but the increasing size of corporate vs restructuring may make that counterweight less impactful (on a relative-to-size-of-total-firm) basis than it used to be.

As an above poster said, though, at least Kirkland is just Kirkland. Cooley pretending to be some paradise progressive firm and then ruthlessly firing bonus-eligible people is far more damnably hypocritical.
Reminds me of this Norm MacDonald bit:

The comedian Patton Oswalt, he told me "I think the worst part of the Cosby thing was the hypocrisy." And I disagree. I thought it was the raping. It's my feeling most rapists are hypocrites. You don't meet many that go "I like raping and I know it's not politically correct but, by god" and people go "well, he's not being a hypocrite and that's the worst part!"

Seriously? What are you waiting for?

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