How to drink - professionally Forum

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

[glitched]

I didn't read any of this thread since it seemed to go off the rails, but OP - I have literally never been asked about what I'm drinking, except by those associates that I'm already really close with and they know that I drink.

If you don't want to drink, and you are worried about what people will think (which they will not care), order a coke. You don't even have to drink it. Again, no one will care. I've done that many times when I wanted to stay sober for the night (but that's because I really like coke; otherwise, I'd be happy holding nothing). In the VERY off chance (I mean zero chance) that someone other than a friend asks what you're drinking say "just a coke." That'll end it. They can't ask about it because drinking is actually a really sensitive subject for a lot of folks (e.g., recovering alcoholics).

Anyway, don't stress too much about this.

[danishblue]

Mr OP,
Order a Beefeater Gin Tonic and lime slice.
It's a premium brand.
I agree with much of the above, but don't forget, it's human nature to like people who are like us.
Partnership decisions. Just think about it.
And if you're near Neyland Stadium in Tennessee, at a bar, game day with Bama, with a wealthy client and senior partner, don't order a fancy cocktail with a meringue topping.
You'll be on the flatliner track the next day.

[Anonymous User]

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

This is the anon with the long post people didn't like. For gin and tonic, somebody suggested beefeater, which is a good, simple choice. If you don't like the juniper (piney) flavor, you could see if Hendrick's is better for you (a touch fancier, but just a different profile). Monkey 47 if you want to spend the firm's money.

For vodka, Tito's is inexpensive but not poor quality. If you want something a touch better (and pricier), Chopin or Belvedere are good.

There are lots of whiskeys, and people will disagree on which are good, but nobody will blink if you order Maker's Mark.

As I said, I think wine is hard. It's just so unlikely any given bar will have the exact wine you've had before, and being knowledgable requires a lot of time. The problem is, there are lame Napa Cabs and crazy expensive Napa Cabs; there are great Oregon Pinot Noirs and lame ones, and you won't be able to tell if you're unfamiliar with wine (and so can't order in a way that appears knowledgable). And there are lots of landmines in wine ordering (like pronouncing things wrong). I guess at a fancy place if you order a Barolo it will essentially always be good? You have to like Barolo though. Short of that, sparkling wine is the easiest.
Probably the simplest order that *sounds* impressive is a Châteauneuf-du-Pape (French wine from the Rhone). Look up the pronunciation, the typical blend of grapes (grenache, syrah, and mourvedre, with some exceptions), and remember the story about the Pope and you'll seem like you know more than you do.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

Alright - this is a reasonable ask and as a someone who used to work in a bar (although, not as a bartender), I can probably help here in a way that isn't trolling like that Blue Danish guy.

1. Cocktails: There are a few basic cocktails that you can order at any bar anywhere in the world. They are vodka/tequila soda, gin and tonic, old fashioned, manhattans, martinis, rum and coke, and a few others I'm probably forgetting.

Mojitos are a huge fucking pain in the ass to make and will make a bartender hate you, unless it's specifically on their drink menu or you're at a speakeasy/cocktail bar. Other cocktail drinks such as white russians, daiquiris, margaritas, etc. are drinks that that specific bar may not have or could be viewed as odd even if they do have. For example, most bars could make you a margarita, but it's a bit odd to order one at a sports/dive bar vs. a mexican cantina. Not that anyone in biglaw would judge you for this, but if you are trying to avoid any awkwardness, just stick to the basics.

If they ask you "what kind of alcohol" - just name a popular mid-tier alcohol. You only need to know 1 of each, so here's some:

Gin: Tanqueray or Hendricks
Vodka: Titos or Absolut
Tequila: Patron or Casamigos
For whiskeys it can get complicated with bourbons, ryes and scotches. I'm keeping this simple, so just say "Bulleit" if they ask bourbon or rye and "Jameson" if they ask whiskey.

If they don't have the alcohol you requested (which would be odd since I gave the most common alcohol brands that bars are stocked with), just respond "I'll just have whatever's similar to that that you guys have on hand". This will move things along and avoids you having to ask for the waiter/bartender to list out their spirits and having to choose one.

Special tips: If ordering an old fashioned, they may ask bourbon or rye. Just pick one and go with it. You won't taste the difference.

If you don't like the taste of alcohol but still want to look "classy", choose a martini over a vodka soda. Beware though - martini's contain double the alcohol content of vodka sodas. If the place is fancy, you may also be asked how you want your martini. Once again, trying to keep this simple sojust say "however the bartender prefers" or "dealer's choice" and leave it at that. If you hate olives , just say "however the bartender prefers, but please hold on the olives". Martini's are complicated tho, so just stay away if you're intimidated.

Wine:
Red: Cab Sauv or Pinot Noir
White: Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay

Like everyone has said, no one gives a shit what you drink so just go with what you like. However, this is a basic guide that you can't go wrong with.

[Anonymous User]

.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

Alright - this is a reasonable ask and as a someone who used to work in a bar (although, not as a bartender), I can probably help here in a way that isn't trolling like that Blue Danish guy.

1. Cocktails: There are a few basic cocktails that you can order at any bar anywhere in the world. They are vodka/tequila soda, gin and tonic, old fashioned, manhattans, martinis, rum and coke, and a few others I'm probably forgetting.

Mojitos are a huge fucking pain in the ass to make and will make a bartender hate you, unless it's specifically on their drink menu or you're at a speakeasy/cocktail bar. Other cocktail drinks such as white russians, daiquiris, margaritas, etc. are drinks that that specific bar may not have or could be viewed as odd even if they do have. For example, most bars could make you a margarita, but it's a bit odd to order one at a sports/dive bar vs. a mexican cantina. Not that anyone in biglaw would judge you for this, but if you are trying to avoid any awkwardness, just stick to the basics.

If they ask you "what kind of alcohol" - just name a popular mid-tier alcohol. You only need to know 1 of each, so here's some:

Gin: Tanqueray or Hendricks
Vodka: Titos or Absolut
Tequila: Patron or Casamigos
For whiskeys it can get complicated with bourbons, ryes and scotches. I'm keeping this simple, so just say "Bulleit" if they ask bourbon or rye and "Jameson" if they ask whiskey.

If they don't have the alcohol you requested (which would be odd since I gave the most common alcohol brands that bars are stocked with), just respond "I'll just have whatever's similar to that that you guys have on hand". This will move things along and avoids you having to ask for the waiter/bartender to list out their spirits and having to choose one.

Special tips: If ordering an old fashioned, they may ask bourbon or rye. Just pick one and go with it. You won't taste the difference.

If you don't like the taste of alcohol but still want to look "classy", choose a martini over a vodka soda. Beware though - martini's contain double the alcohol content of vodka sodas. If the place is fancy, you may also be asked how you want your martini. Once again, trying to keep this simple sojust say "however the bartender prefers" or "dealer's choice" and leave it at that. If you hate olives , just say "however the bartender prefers, but please hold on the olives". Martini's are complicated tho, so just stay away if you're intimidated.

Wine:
Red: Cab Sauv or Pinot Noir
White: Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay

Like everyone has said, no one gives a shit what you drink so just go with what you like. However, this is a basic guide that you can't go wrong with.

Thank you so much, this is perfect! Exactly what I was hoping to find - just a clean cut method to not sound dumb and navigate the bar in a few ways depending on context.

And to the other anon who ppl hated on for the long post, thank you too, I thought both of your posts were helpful as well!

OP

[danishblue]

No one hates anyone here.
Everyone who posted above, it was a pleasure having you all over to my home last night, to drink and make jokes about oenophiles.

[Anonymous User]

Seems like OP and most of the people who’ve responded are male. I’m female and have declined alcohol at firm events in the past (just don’t love to drink) and had people ask awkward questions about whether I’m pregnant or trying to conceive. To avoid this, I usually just order a glass of white wine (usually Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio) and drink it veryyyy slowly.

[danishblue]

May I suggest the Vella boxed Chardonnay
vintage, 3 weeks ago

[lawlzschool]

Honestly can't believe no one has recommended grey goose for vodka??? Agree with tanqueray or hendricks for gin and patron and casamigos for tequila but would add corralejo. I don't drink anything in the whiskey family after too many bad nights (and worse mornings) in undergrad and would literally drink water or nothing instead if whiskey was the only option

[ksm6969]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

House liquor at a college dive bar is going to be cheap. House liquor at the upscale-ish places you will ever find yourself at professionally with biglaw people is going to be pretty good, and probably at least as good/expensive as Tito’s. Of all the reasons not to order a cocktail, this is the silliest. Also ordering a specific liquor is going to be more judged than just ordering a cocktail— you will either come off as an alcoholic or a slob. (Most people still won’t care). Imagine going to an upscale restaurant and demanding they give you hellmans with their burger instead of whatever the kitchen has…

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Honestly can't believe no one has recommended grey goose for vodka??? Agree with tanqueray or hendricks for gin and patron and casamigos for tequila but would add corralejo. I don't drink anything in the whiskey family after too many bad nights (and worse mornings) in undergrad and would literally drink water or nothing instead if whiskey was the only option

at a casual or midrange spot, that would be top-shelf, which may draw the kind of “that’s weird” attention OP is seeking to avoid. I agree with the list of brands posted above. Midrange and all appropriate.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

House liquor at a college dive bar is going to be cheap. House liquor at the upscale-ish places you will ever find yourself at professionally with biglaw people is going to be pretty good, and probably at least as good/expensive as Tito’s. Of all the reasons not to order a cocktail, this is the silliest. Also ordering a specific liquor is going to be more judged than just ordering a cocktail— you will either come off as an alcoholic or a slob. (Most people still won’t care). Imagine going to an upscale restaurant and demanding they give you hellmans with their burger instead of whatever the kitchen has…

Wait is a vodka soda considered a cocktail if you don’t specify the vodka - in other words specifying Tito’s or whatever is actually weirder than saying house or nothing at all?

[attorney589753]

Also people who know *nothing* about alcohol seem unsophisticated. Can you be fine? Sure. People can also be fine with serious stutters, but you wouldn't do that to yourself if you could help it.

Truly an awesome level of brain rot.

I can’t believe people are suggesting the OP read books about alcohol to educate himself — and that you need to be some kind of wine or cocktail expert to be “sophisticated” enough to be a cog in the biglaw machine.

That's not exactly what I meant by suggesting a book. I think there are quite a few people on the thread (myself included) who are saying there are at least some social situations where you might fit in better if you have one or two drinks at the event. I think this is more likely to be valuable in a business, client, or in-house setting than at a BigLaw firm, since the firm will evaluate you 90%+ on hour and work product — but reality is a lot of the business world happens in a weird quasi work/social setting. You don't need to be an expert, but you might as well learn the basics and learn what you like to drink. Many people develop a taste for drinking in college or as young adults, so most people can fit in at the bar without intentionally educating themselves, but OP said they didn't.

[Anonymous User]

Aren’t vodka sodas female drinks or could a male lawyer reputably make this his go to? Maybe I should stay off buzz feed

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

House liquor at a college dive bar is going to be cheap. House liquor at the upscale-ish places you will ever find yourself at professionally with biglaw people is going to be pretty good, and probably at least as good/expensive as Tito’s. Of all the reasons not to order a cocktail, this is the silliest. Also ordering a specific liquor is going to be more judged than just ordering a cocktail— you will either come off as an alcoholic or a slob. (Most people still won’t care). Imagine going to an upscale restaurant and demanding they give you hellmans with their burger instead of whatever the kitchen has…

Wait is a vodka soda considered a cocktail if you don’t specify the vodka - in other words specifying Tito’s or whatever is actually weirder than saying house or nothing at all?

My point is specifying the vodka runs a higher risk of getting you judged. Nobody will judge you for ordering vodka tonic, but if you specify grey goose it is possible to raise some eyebrows , given it’s a fairly expensive brand (especially if you are with client and a junior.). If you want Tito’s, or like “jack and coke”, it’s different, but at that point just get house. And if you specify some exotic tequila, it’s going to make u look like a heavy drinker that has special preferences. Again 99% chance there is no judgmen either way, but at the upscale places u go with biglaw, might as well just say house in my opinion, especially if you are a novice. Again all this is avoided by just ordering a cocktail off the menu.

I

[RedNewJersey]

Honestly can't believe no one has recommended grey goose for vodka??? Agree with tanqueray or hendricks for gin and patron and casamigos for tequila but would add corralejo. I don't drink anything in the whiskey family after too many bad nights (and worse mornings) in undergrad and would literally drink water or nothing instead if whiskey was the only option

Grey Goose is good, but its branding is such that some people might think of it as a "poor person's idea of a fancy liquor." It's kinda like a Rolex or a Ferrari, almost a stereotype of a luxury vodka. I don't think this is fair, necessarily, and if you like Grey Goose go for it, but it doesn't seem to match OP's request.

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Aren’t vodka sodas female drinks or could a male lawyer reputably make this his go to? Maybe I should stay off buzz feed

The firm wants you to be androgynous. Further, mayor Eric Adams goes out every night and always drinks Tito’s and soda.

[Anonymous User]

Thank you so much, this is perfect! Exactly what I was hoping to find - just a clean cut method to not sound dumb and navigate the bar in a few ways depending on context.

And to the other anon who ppl hated on for the long post, thank you too, I thought both of your posts were helpful as well!

OP

I was the anon who asked what you're looking for specifically, and I don't have much to add for recos. But I do have a few tips that helped me/others I know. These are not rules or universal, just some observations from someone who has been drinking for far longer than they should have.

It sounds like you can tolerate most mixed drinks. If that's the case, as others suggested pick one or two that you know with one or two brands that you know (e.g., titos, etc.), and just order those (with the caveat from a previous post that you don't have to specify a brand unless asked). An improvisation on what the previous poster said - if the bar says we don't make that drink or have that brand, it's fine to just say surprise me. They'll pick something in range for you. I do that all the time even though I know a lot about alcohol - it takes the pressure off and makes you look super chill.

I wouldn't pick a martini as a go to drink. There are some scenarios where they are too fancy, and they can catch up with you really quickly if you're not careful. A vodka soda doesn't taste that different (if you're not an alcohol fan), is more universal, keeps you more hydrated, and doesn't come with weird etiquette when ordering.

Likewise, unless you really really like it, I wouldn't pick some obscure drink you copied from someone else. I have a friend who order negronis wherever they go, and it's annoying to hear bartenders say they don't have the campari to make it or don't know what it is. For someone who isn't a big drinker, generic/universal drinks >>> pretentious specialty drinks. People you're with are less likely to ask you questions if you order a vodka tonic.

Do you like brown liquor (bourbon, dark rum, etc.)? There are a lot of people who don't, so if you're not a big fan and/or just want to narrow down your selection, just cut those out entirely. Nobody will think twice if you say you don't like brown liquor. Plus, no matter how much you learn about whisky/whiskey, someone else knows more, so it's pointless to try. Generally if you go to an event with specialty drinks they'll have one with dark liquor and one with clear liquor, so if you just stick with one it gives you an easy out to the question "why did you pick that one?" Similarly, I never drink tequila and find a lot of other people agree.

I'm not sure if you like/tolerate wine, but if you do then I would recommend finding a local liquor store that does regular tastings and heading over there a few times. Ask a bunch of questions (where is it from? what should I be tasting? if I like this, what else would I like?). You'll find out what you do/don't like and get enough knowledge to be able to pick a wine off a list. My wife knows very little about wine, but she knows she likes 2-3 varieties for some reason and doesn't like chardonnay because it's oaky. That's enough for her to pick form new wines 9/10 times. Note that you're sort of expected to buy something at the store if you go for a tasting - just get what you like and give it as a host(ess) gift next time you see a friend.

Sometimes being an alcohol noob has it's pluses. I happen to love scotch, so asking me questions about it (even if you've never tried it) is a really great conversation starter. I end up talking with people longer who know nothing but ask good questions than other scotch fans (normally: what's your favorite? X, yours? Very nice, I like Y. Also good. /conversation). I would NOT do this with wine in general though - it's probably a bit too noobish. If someone says "I like X style from this region," though, then it's totally fair game.

Finally, even though I love alcohol, I'll often pass when I have something important to do later. Most people either do the same or have wished they did at some point in their lives and will respect you more for it. Not that you should feel pressured under any circumstances, but you should feel even less pressured if you have to go back to work later, have to drive, have an early flight, etc.

[legalpotato]

Hi OP. Not a pro drinker but I've seen some ppl I would consider pros.

I think key is to have a party trick. One pro I saw carried a funnel with him and would take shots directly up his ass. Always had a big crowd around him and was the life of the party. I know some bars comped him (hence his designation as a pro). Also, taking shots through anoos helps absorb alcohol faster, which will help build up your tolerance.

Hope that helps.

Sent from my blackberry

[danishblue]

legal potato
did that guy make partner at Simpson?

[OPM]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

House liquor at a college dive bar is going to be cheap. House liquor at the upscale-ish places you will ever find yourself at professionally with biglaw people is going to be pretty good, and probably at least as good/expensive as Tito’s. Of all the reasons not to order a cocktail, this is the silliest. Also ordering a specific liquor is going to be more judged than just ordering a cocktail— you will either come off as an alcoholic or a slob. (Most people still won’t care). Imagine going to an upscale restaurant and demanding they give you hellmans with their burger instead of whatever the kitchen has…

Wait is a vodka soda considered a cocktail if you don’t specify the vodka - in other words specifying Tito’s or whatever is actually weirder than saying house or nothing at all?

My point is specifying the vodka runs a higher risk of getting you judged. Nobody will judge you for ordering vodka tonic, but if you specify grey goose it is possible to raise some eyebrows , given it’s a fairly expensive brand (especially if you are with client and a junior.). If you want Tito’s, or like “jack and coke”, it’s different, but at that point just get house. And if you specify some exotic tequila, it’s going to make u look like a heavy drinker that has special preferences. Again 99% chance there is no judgmen either way, but at the upscale places u go with biglaw, might as well just say house in my opinion, especially if you are a novice. Again all this is avoided by just ordering a cocktail off the menu.

I

I’d think that for someone worried this much about drinking at a firm event, having a reliable and non obtrusive drink is going to be more important than any marginal judgment about the vodka specified in the order. Tito’s is pretty clean and widely available. OP should be able to sip it without grimacing and what not. I’d be more worried that if he doesn’t specify and then house happens to be harsh, OP would have a rough and discernible reaction to the drink and that would be far worse.

Cocktails off a menu are always tough. Sometimes they come in weird glasses, taste strange, have varying alcohol contents, or may have particular gender / vibes associated with their name, color, presentation etc. Since OPs goal is to avoid being noticed for their drinking behavior, I’d recommend sticking with something simple and predictable like a vodka soda.

And fwiw about the vodka soda being gendered, I think it’s a go to for a lot of folks and also a pretty “hard” drink in the sense that it’s a favorite of a lot of high functioning alcoholics in the professional world (some of my family included). Nothing but respect for the vodka soda.

[BigLawPartner]

Biglaw partner. I wouldn’t say I judge people for not drinking, but I definitely notice. And while I don’t agree with all of the alcohol recommendations of the guy with the long post, I do think that not drinking - unless you have a religious reason - is a handicap, particularly since drinking is such an easy and universal way to socialize.

OP, I might try looking into wine (my drink of choice). A lot of young lawyers think they don’t like wine because the wine they drank in college or law school was crap and are amazed to discover they like it. Do some research, try a few $20 - $25 bottles of various wines, and see what you like. If you go to a good local wine shop, the staff will often be a very good resource, especially if you explain that you’re trying to learn about wine. If you don’t like it, that’s fine too, but it’s a much easier entry point into drinking than hard alcohol or cocktails.

What a shit take.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty clear that OP shouldn't feel any pressure to drink because there really isn't any these days. Peer pressure is more often perceived than actual, so I bet a lot of this is in OP's head and most of OP's colleagues don't think twice about what OP orders.

But regardless of whether the pressure is actual or perceived, OP may still want to get more into alcohol. It can sometimes be easier to go with the flow than to live with your own feelings about bucking the trend. I have a friend who never got the taste for coffee/alcohol in undergrad, but started drinking both socially (and responsibly) as a consultant and is now a big fan (he even takes trips out to Napa on his own dime). Maybe OP is in the same boat. I don't think it's cringe to give recommendations as long as OP knows they don't have to do any of this to succeed, and that if they do start partaking, they should do so responsibly.

It would be helpful to get more intel on what advice OP is looking for. Are you looking for entry level knowledge? Somewhere to start? If so, are you interested in learning about particular types of alcohol (wine, mixed drinks, etc.)? Do you want to know what drinks are culturally appropriate for particular situations (though those lines are pretty much obsolete now)? Are you looking for ideas for things you might genuinely like given your current tastes?

OP here - thanks all for the responses. But yes, I’d say looking for somewhere to start, and especially what drinks are appropriate in certain situations. Ideally I could find maybe a wine order and a cocktail that could be ordered everywhere depending on who I’m with (the 1-2 times I’ve tasted beer did not like at all)

I just don’t want to show up to a bar and be like oh a gin and tonic or old fashioned and then be asked what type of liquor and have no idea what to say. I think a previous poster reccomneded Tito’s but I don’t really know what quality that is… and have been told ordering house or well line stuff looks cheap haha (not that Tito’s is?). Do like the wine idea, but didn’t even know you could order that at a real bar. Plus the huge variance in price/color/type is a bit of a scare.

All in all, I want to know just enough to blend in and make it seem like I’ve always drank casually (even if it requires reading a book lol). And for those saying there’s bigger problems if I haven’t gotten into this stuff beforehand I can promise you I do not come across the way you’re imagining - ppl are usually quite surprised I’m not big into drinking/going out

House liquor at a college dive bar is going to be cheap. House liquor at the upscale-ish places you will ever find yourself at professionally with biglaw people is going to be pretty good, and probably at least as good/expensive as Tito’s. Of all the reasons not to order a cocktail, this is the silliest. Also ordering a specific liquor is going to be more judged than just ordering a cocktail— you will either come off as an alcoholic or a slob. (Most people still won’t care). Imagine going to an upscale restaurant and demanding they give you hellmans with their burger instead of whatever the kitchen has…

Wait is a vodka soda considered a cocktail if you don’t specify the vodka - in other words specifying Tito’s or whatever is actually weirder than saying house or nothing at all?

My point is specifying the vodka runs a higher risk of getting you judged. Nobody will judge you for ordering vodka tonic, but if you specify grey goose it is possible to raise some eyebrows , given it’s a fairly expensive brand (especially if you are with client and a junior.). If you want Tito’s, or like “jack and coke”, it’s different, but at that point just get house. And if you specify some exotic tequila, it’s going to make u look like a heavy drinker that has special preferences. Again 99% chance there is no judgmen either way, but at the upscale places u go with biglaw, might as well just say house in my opinion, especially if you are a novice. Again all this is avoided by just ordering a cocktail off the menu.

I

I’d think that for someone worried this much about drinking at a firm event, having a reliable and non obtrusive drink is going to be more important than any marginal judgment about the vodka specified in the order. Tito’s is pretty clean and widely available. OP should be able to sip it without grimacing and what not. I’d be more worried that if he doesn’t specify and then house happens to be harsh, OP would have a rough and discernible reaction to the drink and that would be far worse.

Cocktails off a menu are always tough. Sometimes they come in weird glasses, taste strange, have varying alcohol contents, or may have particular gender / vibes associated with their name, color, presentation etc. Since OPs goal is to avoid being noticed for their drinking behavior, I’d recommend sticking with something simple and predictable like a vodka soda.

And fwiw about the vodka soda being gendered, I think it’s a go to for a lot of folks and also a pretty “hard” drink in the sense that it’s a favorite of a lot of high functioning alcoholics in the professional world (some of my family included). Nothing but respect for the vodka soda.

OP that used to work at a bar here. Vodka sodas used to be most commonly ordered by women, but is now ordered by anyone who is health conscious as it's low cal and low carb. It's gone the way of hard seltzer in that it was probably marketed to women, but has broad appeal now.

Gin and tonics are still primarily ordered by women.

That being said - caring about the gender associated with your drink is super lame. Every weekend we got a handful of college kids who had just finished watching Mad Men and decided to get an old fashioned despite hating ryes and bourbons. They look stupid acting like they're Donald Draper while wincing at their drinks.

I think the golden rule here is order something you like that the bar is likely to have. If all else fails, just order what someone else ordered before you and if you don't like it, hold on until you can leave it at a another table.