How to drink - professionally Forum

[Anonymous User]

Know this post might be cringe, but honestly a bit lost when it comes to drinking in professional environments, especially when required to order my own drink. About to start at a big firm and would appreciate any advice.

Don’t have a lot of experience as I was a KJD male who never hopped aboard the party circuit during undergrad and stayed away from bar review activities in law school. Alcohol doesn’t appeal to me as a leisure activity, but I have no problem with it (actually wished I liked it), and honestly feel like I need to get better at drinking for career success (and so I don’t seem off during dates when I’m like “ya I don’t really like to drink”lol). I know someone will be like you don’t have to drink but I don’t want to be that dude.

Swear this post is not trolling and realize it makes me seem incredibly weird… but could someone maybe toss out what they order and how they conduct themselves. My typical play is to just copy someone before my order but that doesn’t really work at some events or if you’re expected to lead…

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Just order a Vodka soda every time, and if they ask which Vodka say Tito’s. If they don’t have Tito’s tell them anything works.

[Anonymous User]

Your best course of action is to copy when you can. Different firms/offices are, well, different. Some will be full of people who drink beer, others will be full of people who drink cocktails.

I was a 2L SA this past summer, and I ordered mojitos (rum, mint, soda water, lime juice, sugar). When that was unavailable, I went for a screwdriver (orange juice, vodka). The key is to get something that (1) you can drink without making a dumb facial expression and (2) that you can sip slowly. I had a rule to never have more than 2 drinks at an event, and never too close together. If you don't drink often, stick to 1 and just make it last.

[Anonymous User]

If you don't like drinking then just order a beer not on draft/tap (so a bottle) and then just hold the bottle and pretend to take sips periodically. Then throw the bottle away at the end of the night. You'd be surprised at how little people actually care or notice.

[Anonymous User]

If you don't want to drink, just get soda water or something else. I would find it extremely unprofessional for any attorney more senior to me or even a peer to heckle me for not drinking in that environment, but if they did, I would tell them I still had client work to handle after the event and was trying to stay sober etc.

I also say this as the former chair of bar review at my school and a mainstay on the law school party circuit (that's a cringe sentence I'm so sorry).

But seriously, with the amount of substance abuse issues in the profession, it's extremely poor form for people to pressure others into drinking, but worst case a soda or sparkling water will look a lot like a mixed drink. I'm not super pro expanding one's drinking skills in a career that requires a lot of coping.

[Anonymous User]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

[Anonymous User]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

Wont beer be sneered at by at least a few snooty partners/old ppl?

[Anonymous User]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

Wont beer be sneered at by at least a few snooty partners/old ppl?

... no? Is that a thing that happens?

[TigerIsBack]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

Wont beer be sneered at by at least a few snooty partners/old ppl?

Not at all. Personally I don't order beer in formal attire because I think it looks out of place, but I know that's a weird opinion and I don't judge people who do. I've seen plenty of senior partners in suit and tie and firm events drinking cheap light import beer (miller lite, coors light, etc.) so it's totally fine to do that. If you want to change it up you can always go with a basic red or white wine depending on your preference.

When I don't want to drink because I have client work or have my car with me and need to drive home, I typically do sparkling water with lime because it looks like a drink. But I honestly don't care what people think about what I am or am not drinking. If anything there are a lot of highly successful people that don't drink because it massively effects your ability to get good sleep (which you'll find is one of the more sought after commodities in this job). I'm not suggesting I'm one of these people, just that there's plenty of good reason to not drink if that's your preference.

[nealric]

The only time anybody is likely to even notice/care is if you are either sloppy drunk or order something absurd (like a 3 foot long party margarita with fireworks on top). A junior person is almost never going to be the first to order in a sit-down situation, so you can always just follow the lead of others.

If you are at a cocktail party situation, you can always just order club soda with lime (or similar), or just a soft drink if you don't want to drink and nobody will care. If you want to actually drink something alcoholic, a glass of wine is never going to be looked down upon in a professional setting.

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

Thanks to inflation, increasing numbers of high end restaurants don’t even sell beer. When they take it off the menu it forces people to order wine and cocktails. Forces you to order that $16 glass of wine or $18 cocktail when the $9 beer option isn’t available.

[ksm6969]

Many restaurants have a menu with a cocktail section. Read it and pick something you think you might like based on the description. You can usually tell what’s sweet, what’s more bitter, etc… pick one based on your tastes. No different than ordering food.

If no menu is available, then just order like a rum and coke, gin and tonic, vodka tonic, etc. if they ask what type of vodka/rum/etc then just say “house.”

Eventually, and it won’t take long, you will figure out a few drinks you like. It’s really no different than food. In the beginning try different things, some will be gross, some you will like.

[Res Ipsa Loquitter]

Many restaurants have a menu with a cocktail section. Read it and pick something you think you might like based on the description. You can usually tell what’s sweet, what’s more bitter, etc… pick one based on your tastes. No different than ordering food.

If no menu is available, then just order like a rum and coke, gin and tonic, vodka tonic, etc. if they ask what type of vodka/rum/etc then just say “house.”

Eventually, and it won’t take long, you will figure out a few drinks you like. It’s really no different than food. In the beginning try different things, some will be gross, some you will like.

I don’t think OP actually has to drink alcohol to fit in. He can just order a drink. Nobody will notice that he barely touched his VodSod

[Anonymous User]

Just get a beer. Neutral and low alcohol content so you can pace yourself.

Wont beer be sneered at by at least a few snooty partners/old ppl?

No.

[attorney589753]

I'll go a bit against the grain. I think your question is kind of spot on and that, all things being equal, knowing your way around the bar a tiny bit is helpful for general career and networking success.

The worst thing you can do is order or drink too much. I knew someone with a "two drink limit" at professional functions. I think that's good advice.

So, assuming you're at zero risk of overdoing it, my advice would be decide whether you like cocktails or wine more, and then go pick up a $15 book on the basics (or just google around), and try a few things. Maybe you don't love any alcohol (that's fine) but surely there are some things you'll like more than others. Some people really like fruity drinks and other people don't, white wine v red, dark red v light red, etc. You'd like to be able to approach a bartender with confidence and not have to think twice, both professionally and personally. Stay high level, at least at first, so our go-to cocktail or wine is something that every place has, not an obscure Spanish varietal.

[JorgeMichael]

The only time anybody is likely to even notice/care is if you are either sloppy drunk or order something absurd (like a 3 foot long party margarita with fireworks on top). A junior person is almost never going to be the first to order in a sit-down situation, so you can always just follow the lead of others.

If you are at a cocktail party situation, you can always just order club soda with lime (or similar), or just a soft drink if you don't want to drink and nobody will care. If you want to actually drink something alcoholic, a glass of wine is never going to be looked down upon in a professional setting.

Agree 100% no one really cares. Even if you just get a glass of water and act like a normal person and make conversation, no one will judge you for it.

[gimmedanger]

Many mid-tier to high end restaurants these days also have a low abv / no abv section of their drink list where you can get something unique and that looks like a cocktail to take part in the ritual, but the drinks will have low or no alcohol content. Also gives you something to talk about if someone asks you what you are having (I find many of those questions are coming from genuine curiousity about the menu etc).

Of course, ordering something non-alchoholic is always an option and you should never feel pressured to drink.

[Sackboy]

Of the world of things that matter, this doesn't. It's 2022. Drink whatever you want. I've had 0 alcoholic drinks at firm events, and it's never been a problem. When I was a summer, other summers would ask, because I think we are all young and dumb. Every summer needed to hear "I don't drink" exactly once, and then they moved on. But, now that I'm a few years in, other associates and partners have never asked. I think there is an assumption if you don't drink that's you're business and you're a big boy or girl who gets to decide what he or she drinks. You're no longer a 3 year old at Bob Evans with mommy and daddy deciding what to order you off the menu.

[Anonymous User]

Know this post might be cringe, but honestly a bit lost when it comes to drinking in professional environments, especially when required to order my own drink. About to start at a big firm and would appreciate any advice.

Don’t have a lot of experience as I was a KJD male who never hopped aboard the party circuit during undergrad and stayed away from bar review activities in law school. Alcohol doesn’t appeal to me as a leisure activity, but I have no problem with it (actually wished I liked it), and honestly feel like I need to get better at drinking for career success (and so I don’t seem off during dates when I’m like “ya I don’t really like to drink”lol). I know someone will be like you don’t have to drink but I don’t want to be that dude.

Swear this post is not trolling and realize it makes me seem incredibly weird… but could someone maybe toss out what they order and how they conduct themselves. My typical play is to just copy someone before my order but that doesn’t really work at some events or if you’re expected to lead…

The bolded is absolutely not true. Drinking will not help you professionally. Being an engaging conversationalist will help you, and some people think they need a drink to get there, but that is never true. It is true that almost no one will notice or care that you aren't drinking at an event, with the exception being someone with a drinking problem because monitoring others' alcohol consumption is often part of the obsession for a problem drinker.

If you still want to drink, go out with some buddies and try some basic drinks. Just tell the bartender you are new to drinking and want to try some classics and almost all bartenders will be nice about it, especially if you go during a slower period like early on a Saturday evening when they are not slammed. Then figure out what if anything you like and go from there.

[Anonymous User]

Take a bump first

[Anonymous User]

I think OP's concern is totally reasonable, and, in fact, I think people who don't drink are a bit awkward to be around when drinking (it's a bit like going to a pool party, and a bunch of people wearing normal clothes ... it's fine, but would make me feel less comfortable in swim wear). Also people who know *nothing* about alcohol seem unsophisticated. Can you be fine? Sure. People can also be fine with serious stutters, but you wouldn't do that to yourself if you could help it. It's a minus (much like knowing *nothing* about baseball can sometimes be uncomfortable, so it's good to learn the basic rules and the names of the top 5 teams and players, etc.).

So, how do you fix it? I'm a big believer in researching then sticking with your results. A while ago I just bought a bunch of vodkas, blind taste-tested them, and picked my favorite. Now, I have a favorite vodka I default to--you can do the same thing with broader categories just to have *an* answer to build confidence so it's not awkward. Spend a few hours one day researching ("differences between types of beer" etc.), then make a list, and try a few things on your list. A few suggestions:

Cocktails: The goal is to get 2-3 cocktails you like and can order most places. Sure, you could try vodka soda, but that's a bit obvious and boring (or makes you look like you drink a *lot*--it can weirdly be both). Which 2-3? You probably won't like martinis, manhattans, old fashioned, negroni, sazerac, etc. Those are great, but they very much taste like alcohol, so you have to want that taste (which you don't). You might like margaritas, mojitos, daiquiris, moscow mule, French 75 (say "with vodka" if the gin-based standard is too gin-like), caipiranha. Rum and vodka are the most approachable alcohols usually, so Moscow Mule (vodka) and mojito (rum) are great options to try (white russians are also fun but looks kind of weird and will get Big Lebowski references). I'd say it's worth checking whether you like the aviation, the last word, or a paper plane. If so, it's a good go-to if the bartender is good at a cocktail bar (do NOT order it if there is a chance you'll have to explain it; people who like to talk about cocktails may not mind this, but you would not want the attention). If you tolerate whiskey, you might like a whiskey sour. Regrettably, it's hard to get low-alcohol cocktails reliably, and easy to drink them fast. Just stick to one or two.

Beer: There's all sorts of things, but you should probably stick with low-alcohol stuff. You might actually like hard ciders (Angry Orchard or Bold Rock are basic and worth trying). Otherwise, lagers and pilsners are all fairly light and crisp and moderately low in alcohol, and there's always a few options. Guinness is pretty low alcohol but a very different flavor. IPAs, stouts, porters, tripels, etc. are probably not worth trying for you. Think through what you might like, then just memorize a basic thing most places have and try that. I know someone who likes to order Shiner or Modelo, and it works great for him to have a go-to (and it's really hard to get hammered on these). Everything else is not reliably on any particular menu (saison, sour, gose, red ale, brown ale, witbier, shandy, hefeweizen, etc.--it's too hard to predict, so don't bother if you don't like them). The worst thing is looking over drinks and suffering paralysis because you don't have information to choose based on.

Wine: If you don't like decent red wine (say, a standard merlot, cabernet sauvignon, or whatever), then stick with sparkling wine. Don't call American, Italian, Spanish, etc. stuff "Champagne," but you can still order it. Honestly, wine takes forever to learn things about, and is not worth it because you won't seem good at it unless you put in inordinate effort. At work stuff, just match people or order the standard red wine people are getting (or sparkling wine).

[Excellent117]

I sincerely hate our profession.

[danishblue]

I drink constantly every day so I know all about it, in fact, I just had a double vodka and OJ/Pineapple Juice.
Avoid anything with sugar syrups and anything where you don't know the alcohol content.

A standard gin tonic and lime slice is great

Don't have more than one if boss or clients are there. Or someone filming.
A bottle of Heineken is fantastic, or even Bud. After covid, I can't tell them apart.
Any Tallboy (24 ouncer) is also fine, like Notorious Big.

[thisismytlsuername]

This thread is incredible. I'd judge someone less for not drinking at all than I would if they ordered a screwdriver or a vodka pineapple.

[Sackboy]

Also people who know *nothing* about alcohol seem unsophisticated. Can you be fine? Sure. People can also be fine with serious stutters, but you wouldn't do that to yourself if you could help it.

Truly an awesome level of brain rot.