How do BigLaw partners spend all their money? Forum

[Anonymous User]

I think the advantage is that all your friends/peers went to Ivies or equivalent and have jobs at big tech companies, startups, biglaw, consulting, investment banking or PE. The parents also work or worked at those places so you can network and name-drop for interviews.

Person you responded to. This describes my situation in the most literal way possible. I am still wondering what the "advantage" is. Like, I maintain my close friendships and stuff, but they are not instrumental in the sense that we get jobs for each other or manage each other's money or whatever. Nor have we name-dropped for interviews. It is not like FAANG or GS cares about how many people at the company/firm you know.

I think you might not be understanding how massive of an advantage it is just to be immersed in that world. I went to an average public school and then went to an elite undergrad.

I had never heard of ibanking or biglaw. Not only was I unaware of these career paths, I had no idea what "a lot" of money was. I thought anyone making over 100k was killing it. By the time I figured out the iBanking game around my junior year of college, I had already missed the train (students came in knowing they wanted iBanking and prepped their resume/activities for it starting freshman year of college).

The way you talk, walk and dress is different. This is an extreme example from over 15 years ago, but my first week in college I used the phase "that's so gay" and similarly unacceptable phrases. I had to re-learn my entire behavior to be socially acceptable in a high-end professional environment. That's all affirmative things I had to do, but think about the non-affirmative things. For example, I had never been to Europe or out of the country really whereas most of my fellow classmates had. Many had spent entire summers or studied abroad already and spoke another language fairly well; I only knew English. If they decided to veer off into a conversation about travel or summer plans, I was for all intents and purposes left out. I mispronounced words because I had only read some words and never heard them spoken out loud. I realized I had been mispronouncing them when I heard others say it, or when people gave me a funny look or laughed.

In high school, I studied maybe an hour or two for a test which was enough to get A's. I got to college and got a D on my first exam that I spent several hours studying for. It was my first time facing competition academically.

As for name dropping, no I didn't start going into interviews and name drop people. However, when I applied to jobs, I called/emailed alumni and asked them for a coffee chat or phone conversation. I picked their brain on the culture and type of work done at the place. Then at interviews I regurgitated their knowledge to the interviewer. Most people don't have that kind of access. Forget just the access, I got my first job out of undergrad because my boss was an alum and we spent the hour long interview talking about our favorite restaurants/bars on campus.

[Anonymous User]

[…] Going to a “good public school” doesn’t really guarantee anything other than fewer fights and generally less diversity.

[…] Re: "good public schools" (so first quoted post) - you're doubtless right about less diversity, in most cases. But fewer fights alone is probably a big deal for a lot of parents ("fewer" cracks me up because I went to what would probably qualify as a "good public school" and I don't remember *any* fights, so the expectation that good = some number of fights that's not 0 is weird to me).

I went to a good public school (HS offered nearly 30 AP courses, etc etc) and definitely witnessed my fair share of fights, drug deals, and so on. Honestly, I consider that as much a part of my education as calculus and band class. I can’t say the environment made me any tougher, but I do think I emerged a bit less pearl clutch-y.

I had one friend who was sent off to a posh boarding school, starting in 9th grade, because his parents didn’t like the seedier elements present in our public high school. When I finally saw that friend the following year, he had become a huge stoner and was dabbling with lots of harder drugs. Definitely backfired.

That's totally fair. I'm not going to claim that the good public schools are universally free of those things (especially not drugs, which I specifically didn't mention because when you have kids with a bunch of disposable income that's definitely going to be a thing. It also wouldn't surprise me at all if your stoner friend went to one of the fancy boarding schools in my home town).

But parents still want to avoid those things and believe that "good" schools have less of them. I mean, there are public schools actually dealing with gang violence, guns and weapons, they have metal detectors and search kids' bags; I get that partners living in multi-million dollar homes almost certainly aren't in school districts with those kinds of problems, but I think that's part of the bogeyman driving some parents' search for good public schools. (There is also doubtless a lot of unexamined racism/classism going on in all of this.)

And I get your point about the drug deals, fights, etc being part of your education and valuing that, and again, that's one of those subjective opinion things. But honestly, given the choice between a school with more fights and drug deals, and fewer fights and drug deals, which one do you think most parents are going to choose? I'm not talking about what parents *should* value in an education (or more specifically, rich parents, since we're talking about biglaw partners), just what I think they *do* value.

[Laserguy213]

I think the advantage is that all your friends/peers went to Ivies or equivalent and have jobs at big tech companies, startups, biglaw, consulting, investment banking or PE. The parents also work or worked at those places so you can network and name-drop for interviews.

Person you responded to. This describes my situation in the most literal way possible. I am still wondering what the "advantage" is. Like, I maintain my close friendships and stuff, but they are not instrumental in the sense that we get jobs for each other or manage each other's money or whatever. Nor have we name-dropped for interviews. It is not like FAANG or GS cares about how many people at the company/firm you know.

I think you might not be understanding how massive of an advantage it is just to be immersed in that world. I went to an average public school and then went to an elite undergrad.

I had never heard of ibanking or biglaw. Not only was I unaware of these career paths, I had no idea what "a lot" of money was. I thought anyone making over 100k was killing it. By the time I figured out the iBanking game around my junior year of college, I had already missed the train (students came in knowing they wanted iBanking and prepped their resume/activities for it starting freshman year of college).

The way you talk, walk and dress is different. This is an extreme example from over 15 years ago, but my first week in college I used the phase "that's so gay" and similarly unacceptable phrases. I had to re-learn my entire behavior to be socially acceptable in a high-end professional environment. That's all affirmative things I had to do, but think about the non-affirmative things. For example, I had never been to Europe or out of the country really whereas most of my fellow classmates had. Many had spent entire summers or studied abroad already and spoke another language fairly well; I only knew English. If they decided to veer off into a conversation about travel or summer plans, I was for all intents and purposes left out. I mispronounced words because I had only read some words and never heard them spoken out loud. I realized I had been mispronouncing them when I heard others say it, or when people gave me a funny look or laughed.

In high school, I studied maybe an hour or two for a test which was enough to get A's. I got to college and got a D on my first exam that I spent several hours studying for. It was my first time facing competition academically.

As for name dropping, no I didn't start going into interviews and name drop people. However, when I applied to jobs, I called/emailed alumni and asked them for a coffee chat or phone conversation. I picked their brain on the culture and type of work done at the place. Then at interviews I regurgitated their knowledge to the interviewer. Most people don't have that kind of access. Forget just the access, I got my first job out of undergrad because my boss was an alum and we spent the hour long interview talking about our favorite restaurants/bars on campus.

Not to mention privilege's cascading effects, which begin well before college. Highschool internships help you get into an elite college; those internships and college help you get an elite summer internship; and so forth. Now imagine you're from podunk flyover state, lower middle class and worked 40 hours a week at a gas station instead instead of volunteering for your neighbor's congressional campaign in highschool. Different worlds.

But knowing how to even get into elite opportunities and understand what they are is the biggest hurdle, as previous poster mentioned.

[Buglaw]

I think the advantage is that all your friends/peers went to Ivies or equivalent and have jobs at big tech companies, startups, biglaw, consulting, investment banking or PE. The parents also work or worked at those places so you can network and name-drop for interviews.

Person you responded to. This describes my situation in the most literal way possible. I am still wondering what the "advantage" is. Like, I maintain my close friendships and stuff, but they are not instrumental in the sense that we get jobs for each other or manage each other's money or whatever. Nor have we name-dropped for interviews. It is not like FAANG or GS cares about how many people at the company/firm you know.

I think you might not be understanding how massive of an advantage it is just to be immersed in that world. I went to an average public school and then went to an elite undergrad.

I had never heard of ibanking or biglaw. Not only was I unaware of these career paths, I had no idea what "a lot" of money was. I thought anyone making over 100k was killing it. By the time I figured out the iBanking game around my junior year of college, I had already missed the train (students came in knowing they wanted iBanking and prepped their resume/activities for it starting freshman year of college).

The way you talk, walk and dress is different. This is an extreme example from over 15 years ago, but my first week in college I used the phase "that's so gay" and similarly unacceptable phrases. I had to re-learn my entire behavior to be socially acceptable in a high-end professional environment. That's all affirmative things I had to do, but think about the non-affirmative things. For example, I had never been to Europe or out of the country really whereas most of my fellow classmates had. Many had spent entire summers or studied abroad already and spoke another language fairly well; I only knew English. If they decided to veer off into a conversation about travel or summer plans, I was for all intents and purposes left out. I mispronounced words because I had only read some words and never heard them spoken out loud. I realized I had been mispronouncing them when I heard others say it, or when people gave me a funny look or laughed.

In high school, I studied maybe an hour or two for a test which was enough to get A's. I got to college and got a D on my first exam that I spent several hours studying for. It was my first time facing competition academically.

As for name dropping, no I didn't start going into interviews and name drop people. However, when I applied to jobs, I called/emailed alumni and asked them for a coffee chat or phone conversation. I picked their brain on the culture and type of work done at the place. Then at interviews I regurgitated their knowledge to the interviewer. Most people don't have that kind of access. Forget just the access, I got my first job out of undergrad because my boss was an alum and we spent the hour long interview talking about our favorite restaurants/bars on campus.

Not to mention privilege's cascading effects, which begin well before college. Highschool internships help you get into an elite college; those internships and college help you get an elite summer internship; and so forth. Now imagine you're from podunk flyover state, lower middle class and worked 40 hours a week at a gas station instead instead of volunteering for your neighbor's congressional campaign in highschool. Different worlds.

But knowing how to even get into elite opportunities and understand what they are is the biggest hurdle, as previous poster mentioned.

I went to an elite public high school and I don’t know anyone who had an internship in high school. We sent like 80-100 kids a year to top 5 undergrads. They got it because we had hilariously high test scores, the reputation of our school was known there, they had impressive extracurricular (but not intern for congressman, more like top notch varsity sports, excellent band/theater that constantly won national awards, nationally ranked debate team, etc.) and everyone knew that selecting someone from our school meant they could pay full tuition. It’s not really the connection to “congressman” it’s that the elite public high schools are frequently just much better at everything than the crappy ones and their students are just much more impressive (just like the elite boarding schools). It is of course a function of privilege, as to why it’s the case, but it’s also true that it’s the case.

[Anonymous User]

That gets at another advantage to top public schools - they definitely develop relationships with colleges where the school is a known quantity and the college likes to take those students. My HS sent a lot of kids to top schools and had a strong relationship with Harvard, sending multiple kids there every year. We were lucky to get one kid a year into Yale - the legend was that some applicant in the past had done something that tainted us for the future. (No idea if that’s true or if it was just Yale, of course, but that was the attitude.)

Now, of course that doesn’t mean kids at not good schools or less well known schools are doomed, at all, but the pipeline definitely helps. Private schools obviously offer this, but good public schools do too, and it’s another thing parents want for their kids.

And again, you can debate whether going to a tippy top undergrad is worth it or makes a material difference (I definitely think it makes a difference but the finances can be a big issue), but that doesn’t negate the fact that many many parents think so.

[Anonymous User]

I honestly don't understand how anyone can think there is no meaningful difference among public schools or that saying there is is some kind of snobby preening. As someone who went to public school K-12, there are definitely discernible and meaningful differences between good and not-so-good public schools that have nothing to do with fancy vacations and networking. When I went to a good public school, there were a lot of extra-curricular activities, and they were well run. The athletic teams had coaches who knew how to play the sports they coached, there was band, orchestra and choir, there was forensics, class plays, etc., all run by teachers who knew and cared about the activities. The classes were smaller (even though the school was huge) and there was a huge range of classes (from remedial classes for those who needed extra help, again taught by great teachers, through a host of APs). When we moved to another state, the public school was just "ok." What did that mean? The classes were bigger and less controlled, the teachers were less engaged and less expert in their subject matter/pedagogy, there weren't many extracurriculars, and the ones they had were mostly poorly run by teachers conscripted into running them but who had no interest in or knowledge of the activity (basketball coach who didn't know what a zone defense was sticks out for me). My education was still fine, but it wasn't as good. And it was funny because the great school had been in the South and the meh school was in California, so all the kids (and teachers) assumed I had gone to some backwards hick school and was so lucky to have escaped to civilization when in fact it was the opposite. When you then consider public schools that are legitimately bad (like the public schools in the Bronx that my partner attended), the difference in quality of education and life experience is real and not confined to stuff like going to St. Tropez or whatever. So as a parent now who can't afford private K-12, it is important to me to be in the best public school district I can reasonably afford to be in for my children's sake.

[Anonymous User]

That gets at another advantage to top public schools - they definitely develop relationships with colleges where the school is a known quantity and the college likes to take those students. My HS sent a lot of kids to top schools and had a strong relationship with Harvard, sending multiple kids there every year. We were lucky to get one kid a year into Yale - the legend was that some applicant in the past had done something that tainted us for the future. (No idea if that’s true or if it was just Yale, of course, but that was the attitude.)

Now, of course that doesn’t mean kids at not good schools or less well known schools are doomed, at all, but the pipeline definitely helps. Private schools obviously offer this, but good public schools do too, and it’s another thing parents want for their kids.

And again, you can debate whether going to a tippy top undergrad is worth it or makes a material difference (I definitely think it makes a difference but the finances can be a big issue), but that doesn’t negate the fact that many many parents think so.

One of my first friends in law school once made a statement along the lines of "only 40% of kids from my high school got accepted to Ivy league universities." He attended a bougie private high school in Manhattan. When I told him that only two out of the 400+ kids with whom I graduated went to an Ivy League for undergrad, he reacted as though I'd told him the most unbelievable thing ever. He had no perspective on just how different these outcomes were. And I didn't even attend a bad public high school; it was the best in my area and people literally moved to my school district so their kids could attend.

[Anonymous User]

I honestly don't understand how anyone can think there is no meaningful difference among public schools or that saying there is is some kind of snobby preening.

But nobody in this thread was making that claim; I’m not sure where you got that from.

Some people were arguing that the best public schools are more or less equivalent to the best private schools, or at least set you up for success in similar ways.

Top-notch public vs. top-notch private is, after all, the kind of decision a biglaw partner (see the title of this thread) realistically might face. But no biglaw partner is deciding between a public school in the Bronx and Scarsdale High School, which is more in line with what you posted about.

[Anonymous User]

2. Education: I have never heard of a partner sending their kid to public school regardless of how good the local public school is. They're spending $60k/year per kid to go private school. Some of this is because of networking opportunities (guess where the client's kids are going - now you get to rub shoulders with clients on the pretense of giving your kids a better education. Basically a business expense.)

This must be a New York thing. Every single partner I know at my DC firm who has kids in school chooses to live in a nice suburb (Montgomery County, Fairfax County, or Arlington) rather than DC and sends their kids to public schools out there. Granted those kids (like many others at those public high schools) get tutoring and go off to Columbia, Georgetown, UVA, USC, William and Mary, etc.

To be fair, the DC area has exceptionally good public schools. I went to a public school in Fairfax county with a “ghetto” reputation, and ended up getting a superior education to many people (based on comparing notes with people over the next decade, including rich private school kids in law school).

Now I live in a city with worse public schools and am considering sending my kids to private when they reach that age.

[Anonymous User]

Good lord, the humble bragging in this thread is insanely pathetic

I wasn't trying to humblebrag, but if it makes you feel any better, I'll remove those last two sentences. If discussing the outcome disparities between public and private high school students upsets you, maybe take some time to self-reflect on why that is. I endured three years of being surrounded by rich law students devoid of class consciousness and blissfully unaware of just how much privilege they were afforded in life simply by being born to the parents they had. I know I'm not alone in that regard. I know I'm not special. But I won't be shamed for discussing it.

[thisismytlsuername]

A better question is: how do biglaw partners spend all their free time? The answer is apparently "arguing about what schools are best on the internet."

[DoveBodyWash]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

[Jchance]

A better question is: how do biglaw partners spend all their free time? The answer is apparently "arguing about what schools are best on the internet."

Trick question? What "free time"?

[glitched]

The simple answer is that they spend on stuff that’s not all that different from the rest of us. Money has declining utility. The difference between making a few hundred thousand a year and millions in terms of quality of life is not much. The two people can do most of the same stuff, the person with millions just does it nicer. The difference between making $50k a year and 300k a year is massive. The person making 300k a year doesn’t have real money struggles the way someone making 50k a year does. But, once you clear that hurdle, there’s not much benefit to more money. The marginal happiness gained from sending your kid to the best private school vs a reasonably good public school is quite small. The difference between a vacation which costs a few thousand and one that is 20-30 thousand is also very small (same with driving a bmw or Mercedes’ vs a Toyota, etc.).

Knowing that I could retire in 10 years instead of 20 would be pretty huge for me.

(A) you won’t. Think of an equity partner you know who retired at 40-45.

(B) you could do that now. Just reduce your spending. The fact that you won’t reduce your spending now means you probably won’t do it as a partner either.

(B) doesn't make any sense. My spending is quite low and I've saved up quite a bit, but that doesn't mean that I can sustain 50+ more years of living even if I reduced my spending, unless it was to poverty levels. The idea is that if you're making $1 mil versus $500k a year and maintain spending, you can hit retirement-level withdrawals much earlier (potentially in 10 years versus 20). Knowing that you have the option to retire when you're 40-45, even if you won't, would be huge, at least for me.

[BigLawBigTX175]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

Seriously. This thread is hilarious. The financial illiteracy of big law lawyers is absolutely amazing to me.

[Anonymous User]

The simple answer is that they spend on stuff that’s not all that different from the rest of us. Money has declining utility. The difference between making a few hundred thousand a year and millions in terms of quality of life is not much. The two people can do most of the same stuff, the person with millions just does it nicer. The difference between making $50k a year and 300k a year is massive. The person making 300k a year doesn’t have real money struggles the way someone making 50k a year does. But, once you clear that hurdle, there’s not much benefit to more money. The marginal happiness gained from sending your kid to the best private school vs a reasonably good public school is quite small. The difference between a vacation which costs a few thousand and one that is 20-30 thousand is also very small (same with driving a bmw or Mercedes’ vs a Toyota, etc.).

Knowing that I could retire in 10 years instead of 20 would be pretty huge for me.

(A) you won’t. Think of an equity partner you know who retired at 40-45.

(B) you could do that now. Just reduce your spending. The fact that you won’t reduce your spending now means you probably won’t do it as a partner either.

(B) doesn't make any sense. My spending is quite low and I've saved up quite a bit, but that doesn't mean that I can sustain 50+ more years of living even if I reduced my spending, unless it was to poverty levels. The idea is that if you're making $1 mil versus $500k a year and maintain spending, you can hit retirement-level withdrawals much earlier (potentially in 10 years versus 20). Knowing that you have the option to retire when you're 40-45, even if you won't, would be huge, at least for me.

Agree that (B) doesn't make sense. I save a fair amount of money right now. I have $2-3M NW depending how you measure etc., as a senior associate on the cusp of making partner. I don't want to downgrade, and I in fact intend to upgrade a bit if I make partner, but that doesn't mean I'll go from current status to all of sudden spending every penny I make. But even with the likely upgrades in spending, I'll be saving significantly more money and be making faster progress to having sufficient funds to support the increased spending by my mid-40s, at the latest, unless the market tanks at a bad time.

On (A), 40 would be pretty early, that's only a couple of years into equity partnership, even for people that went straight through. Agree that actually retiring at 45 is rare, but I have definitely seen people slow way down around that time and coast to late 40s and retire then.

I have also seen partners that spend almost everything they make, beyond a fairly barebones retirement savings. There's the view that the job is forever, that they have plenty of time to save, etc--it's less financial illiteracy and more being comfortable with that level of consumption. I'll admit, I envy their stuff and experiences, but it's not for me.

[Saami]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

He wakes up in his emperor-sized bed, eyes glued to the ceiling towering 16 feet above him. He looks to his alarm clock, perched upon his Restoration Hardware end table. 5:45AM. He lets out a sigh, which quickly forms into a misty cloud. He shivers as he reluctantly makes his way out of bed, stripping off the satin sheets and touching his feet to the chill marble floor. The winter cold penetrated his entire house, as his central heating system could not endure the task of bringing his seven-bedroom estate above 60 degrees on these harsh February mornings. He prepares a simple breakfast in his Vitamix blender: whey protein, organic bananas, unroasted peanut butter, and ice. As he sits in his breakfast nook, sipping on the concoction, he overlooks the Long Island Sound from his window and cannot help but notice how fewer yachts there are out there than there had been only a couple years prior. "Troubling times," he mutters to himself, and then gets up hesitantly to start the long day's work ahead of him. A man has to do what a man has to do though when living paycheck to paycheck in America.

He enters his 2019 Bentley Continental GT, and heads out on his daily trek to the Metro-North station. With today's car prices, he had to sacrifice and stick with the older model. On his drive, he glances at each house in his neighborhood that he passes, and shudders. "How much were these houses when I moved here? About two million each, on average. Now what are they worth? Only seven, maybe eight million tops." He ponders how he could have gained so little net worth since buying his house in 2010—just another sign of the state of affairs in this country. How will his children survive when he's gone?

Ah, his children. The lights of his life. He wondered what they were up to at the moment. It must be even chillier up in Andover than it is here. He would have to ask about it in their biweekly phone call—that is, if he has the time to call them between his meetings with clients. At the very least, he looks forward to spending a week with them in-person come June, when their vacation times align. He always tried his best to be a better father than his old man had been to him. Sure, while he doesn't get to see his kids as often as he may like, at least they are not subjected to the horrors of the public school system in the same way that he'd been. He did not even wish to imagine how his kids lives would turn out if they were forced to share a classroom with the ruffians of Westchester County. The $120,000 of annual tuition is well worth it.

Of course, he would have more money to offer his kids if he had not been put through three divorces. First there was Claire, who insisted that seeing her an hour per day (and two per day on weekends) was not the foundation of a healthy marriage. Then there was Elizabeth, who said it was "disturbing" how many family functions he missed. She certainly was the high maintenance one of the bunch. Finally, there was Patricia, who... well, he could not exactly remember why she divorced him. There was a huge deal being finalized that week. But now, through all the attorneys' fees and alimony, how much is he realistically bringing home annually at this point? Maybe five million, but that is before taxes. He couldn't bear keeping his mind on the topic.

He finally reaches the station. He locks his car, waits for the train, and sits down in a fairly empty section. He laments the distinct lack of people commuting into the city. Why are people so against going into the office these days? Do they have better things to do? He doesn't dwell on this too long, but instead starts to think about his own future. He was quickly approaching 50, and only had enough money in his 401k to live off a half-million per year. How would he survive? Would he have to sell the summer home in Cape Cod? Or give up his yacht club membership? Indeed, it began to dawn on him that he may never be able to properly retire. He may have to work day-in, day-out until the day he dies just to be able to make end's meet. For his sanity's sake, he distracts himself by answering emails on his smartphone, which had become a meditation of sorts for him. Still, in the back of his mind, he could not help but recall a homeless man he had seen in the streets years ago, as he was walking to work. The man had been carrying a sign that read "The American dream is dead." And the time, he paid little attention to this warning. But now, as the train starts to park at Grand Central, and he looks to his Rolex to see if he even has time to get a run in at Equinox before starting the work day, he realizes that the homeless man had been right all along.

[Anonymous User]

I think part of the problem for biglaw partners is not financial illiteracy, but the fact that they benchmark their lifestyles against some of their clients (C-suite, PE execs, maybe founders/entrepreneurs).

By any objective measure, pulling down $2-5 million a year is an insanely high income … *but* when people in your social & professional circles start buying or renting nice villas in the French Riviera and flying private jets back and forth, you gradually begin inflating your own lifestyle to match that. Versus somebody who’s (e.g.) owner of the 2nd largest trucking company in the upper Midwest - that person is very wealthy but probably exposed to less lifestyle creep and fewer luxury/status goods, just by dint of their milieu.

[Anonymous User]

He wakes up in his emperor-sized bed, eyes glued to the ceiling towering 16 feet above him. He looks to his alarm clock, perched upon his West Elm end table. 5:45AM.

Bravo! But the West Elm end table took me out of it. Surely you meant Restoration Hardware? Or have the three divorces really extracted such an extreme toll on our protagonist?

[Saami]

He wakes up in his emperor-sized bed, eyes glued to the ceiling towering 16 feet above him. He looks to his alarm clock, perched upon his West Elm end table. 5:45AM.

Bravo! But the West Elm end table took me out of it. Surely you meant Restoration Hardware? Or have the three divorces really extracted such an extreme toll on our protagonist?

No, no, you're correct. How could I have been so foolish? Edited for better immersion.

[Anonymous User]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

Reminds me of this Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comm ... &context=3

There are gradations of rich. I see four major breaking points:

Worth $10mm-$30mm liquid (exclusive of value of primary residence).

At this level, your needs are met. You can live very comfortably at a 4-star/5-star level. You can book a $2000 suite for a special occassion. You can fly first class internationally (sometimes). You have a very nice house, you can afford any healthcare you need, no emergency financial situation can destroy your life. But you are not "rich" in the way that money doesn't matter. You still have to be prudent and careful with most decisions unless you are on the upper end of this scale, where you truly are becoming insulated from personal financial stress. (Business stress exists at all levels). The banking world still doesn't classify you as 'ultra high net worth'

Net worth of $30mm-$100mm

At this point, you start playing with the big boys. You can fly private (though you normally charter a flight or own a jet fractionally through Net Jets or the like), You stay at 5 star hotels, you have multiple residences, you vacation in prime time (you rent a ski-in, ski-out villa in Aspen for Christmas week or go to Monaco for the grand Prix, or Canne for the Film Festival--for what its worth, rent on these places can run $5k-20k+ per NIGHT.), you run or have a ontrolling interest in a big company, you socialize with Conressmen, Senators and community leaders, and you are an extremely well respected member in any community outside the world's great cities. (In Beverly Hills, you are a minor player at $80 million. Unless you really throw your weight around and pay out the nose, you might not get a table at the city's hottest restaurant). You can buy any car you want. You have personal assistants and are starting to have 'people' that others have to talk to to get to you. You can travel ANYWHERE in any style. You can buy pretty much anything that normal people think of as 'rich people stuff'

$100mm-$1billion

I know its a wide range, but life doesn't change much when you go from being worth $200mm-$900mm. At this point, you have a private jet, multiple residences with staff, elite cars at each residence, ownership or significant control over a business/entity that most of the public has heard of, if its your thing, you can socialize with movie stars/politicians/rock stars/corporate elite/aristocracy. You might not get invite to every party, but you can go pretty much everywhere you want. You definitely have 'people' and staff. The world is full of 'yes men'. Your ability to buy things becomes an art. One of your vacation home may be a 5 bedroom villa on acreage in Cabo, but that's not impressive. You own a private island? Starting to be cool, but it depends on the island. You just had dinner with Senator X and Governor Y at your home? Cool. But your billionaire friend just had dinner with the President. You have a new Ferrari? Your friend thinks their handling sucks and has a classic, only-five-exist-in-the-world-type of car. Did I mention women? Because at this level, they are all over the place. Every event, most parties. The polo club. Ultra-hot, world class, smart women. Power and money are an aphrodisiac and you have it in spades. Anything thing you want from women at this point you will find a willing and beautiful partner. You might not emotionally connect, but damn, she's hot. One thing that gets rare at this level? friends and family that love you for who you are. They exist, but it is pretty damn hard to know which ones they are.

$1billion

I am going to exclude the $10b+ crowd, because they live a head-of-state life. But at $1b, life changes. You can buy anything. ANYTHING. In broad terms, this is what you can buy:

Access. You now can just ask your staff to contact anyone and you will get a call back. I have seen this first hand and it is mind-blowing the level of access and respect $1 billion+ gets you. In this case, I wanted to speak with a very well-known billionaire businessman (call him billionaire #1 for a project that interested billionaire #2. I mentioned that it would be good to talk to billionaire #1 and B2 told me that he didn't know him. But he called his assistant in. "Get me the xxxgolf club directory. Call B1 at home and tell him I want to talk to him." Within 60 minutes, we had a call back. I was in B1's home talking to him the next day. B2's opinion commanded that kind of respect from a peer. Mind blowing. The same is true with access to almost any Senator/Governor of a billionaires party (because in most cases, he is a significant donor). You meet on an occassional basis with heads-of-state and have real conversations with them. Which leads to

Influence. Yes, you can buy influence. As a billionaire, you have manyways to shape public policy and the public debate, and you use them. This is not in any evil way. the ones I know are passionate about ideas and are trying to do what they feel is best (just like you would). But they just had an hour with the Governor privately, or with the Secretary of Health, or the buy ads or lobbyists. The amount of influence you have can be heady.

Time. Yes, you can buy time. You literally never wait for anything. Travel? you fly private. Show up at the airport, sit down in the plane and the door closes and you take off in 2 minutes, and fly directly to where you are going. The plane waits for you. If you decide you want to leave at anytime, you drive (or take a helicopter to the airport and you leave. The pilots and stewardess are your employees. They do what you tell them to do. Dinner? Your driver drops you off at the front door and waits a few blocks away for however long you need. The best table is waiting for you. The celebrity chef has prepared a meal for you (because you give him so much catering business he wants you VERY happy) and he ensures service is impeccable. Golf? Your club is so exclusive there is always a tee time and no wait. Going to the Superbowl or Grammy's? You are whisked behind velvet ropes and escorted past any/all lines to the best seats in the house.

Experiences. Dream of it and you can have it. Want to play tennis with Pete Sampras (not him in particular, but that type of star)? Call his people. For a donation of $100k+ to his charity, you could probably play a match with him. Like Blink182? There is a price where they would simply come play at your private party. Love art? Your people could arrange for the curator of the Louvre to show you around and even show you masterpieces that have not been exhibited in years. Love Nascar? How about racing the top driver on a closed track? Love science? Have a dinner with Bill Nye and Neil dGT. Love politics? have Hillary Clinton come speak at a dinner for you and your friends, just pay her speaking fee. Your mind is the only limit to what is available. Because donations/fees get you anyone.

The same is true with stuff. You like pianos? How about owning one Mozart used to compose music on? This is the type of stuff you can do.

IMPACT. Your money can literally change the world and change lives. It is almost too much of a burden to think about. Clean water for a whole village forever? chump change. A dying child need a transplant? Hell...you could just build and fund a hospital and do it for a region.

RESPECT. The respect you get at this level is just over-the-top. You are THE MAN in almost every circle. Governors look up to you. Fortune 500 CEOs look up to you. Presidents and Kings look at you as a peer.

PERSPECTIVE. The wealthiest person I have spent time with makes about $400mm/year. i couldn't get my mind around that until I did this: OK--let's compare it with someone who makes $40,000/year. It is 10,000x more. Now let's look at prices the way he might. A new Lambo--$235,000 becaome $23.50. First class ticket internationally? $10,000 becomes $1. A full time executive level helper? $8,000/month becomes $0.80/month. A $10mm piece of art you love? $1000. Expensive, so you have to plan a bit. A suite at the best hotel in NYC $10,000/night is $1/night. A $50million home in the Hamptons? $5,000. There is literally nothing you can't buy except.

Love. Sorry to sound so trite, but it is nearly impossible to have a normal emotional relationship at this level. It is hard to sacrifice for another person when you are never asked to sacrifice ANYTHING. Money can solve all problems for someone, so you offer it, because there is so much else to do. Your time is SOOOO valuable that you ration it. And that makes you lose connections with people.

[DoveBodyWash]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

He wakes up in his emperor-sized bed, eyes glued to the ceiling towering 16 feet above him. He looks to his alarm clock, perched upon his Restoration Hardware end table. 5:45AM. He lets out a sigh, which quickly forms into a misty cloud. He shivers as he reluctantly makes his way out of bed, stripping off the satin sheets and touching his feet to the chill marble floor. The winter cold penetrated his entire house, as his central heating system could not endure the task of bringing his seven-bedroom estate above 60 degrees on these harsh February mornings. He prepares a simple breakfast in his Vitamix blender: whey protein, organic bananas, unroasted peanut butter, and ice. As he sits in his breakfast nook, sipping on the concoction, he overlooks the Long Island Sound from his window and cannot help but notice how fewer yachts there are out there than there had been only a couple years prior. "Troubling times," he mutters to himself, and then gets up hesitantly to start the long day's work ahead of him. A man has to do what a man has to do though when living paycheck to paycheck in America.

He enters his 2019 Bentley Continental GT, and heads out on his daily trek to the Metro-North station. With today's car prices, he had to sacrifice and stick with the older model. On his drive, he glances at each house in his neighborhood that he passes, and shudders. "How much were these houses when I moved here? About two million each, on average. Now what are they worth? Only seven, maybe eight million tops." He ponders how he could have gained so little net worth since buying his house in 2010—just another sign of the state of affairs in this country. How will his children survive when he's gone?

Ah, his children. The lights of his life. He wondered what they were up to at the moment. It must be even chillier up in Andover than it is here. He would have to ask about it in their biweekly phone call—that is, if he has the time to call them between his meetings with clients. At the very least, he looks forward to spending a week with them in-person come June, when their vacation times align. He always tried his best to be a better father than his old man had been to him. Sure, while he doesn't get to see his kids as often as he may like, at least they are not subjected to the horrors of the public school system in the same way that he'd been. He did not even wish to imagine how his kids lives would turn out if they were forced to share a classroom with the ruffians of Westchester County. The $120,000 of annual tuition is well worth it.

Of course, he would have more money to offer his kids if he had not been put through three divorces. First there was Claire, who insisted that seeing her an hour per day (and two per day on weekends) was not the foundation of a healthy marriage. Then there was Elizabeth, who said it was "disturbing" how many family functions he missed. She certainly was the high maintenance one of the bunch. Finally, there was Patricia, who... well, he could not exactly remember why she divorced him. There was a huge deal being finalized that week. But now, through all the attorneys' fees and alimony, how much is he realistically bringing home annually at this point? Maybe five million, but that is before taxes. He couldn't bear keeping his mind on the topic.

He finally reaches the station. He locks his car, waits for the train, and sits down in a fairly empty section. He laments the distinct lack of people commuting into the city. Why are people so against going into the office these days? Do they have better things to do? He doesn't dwell on this too long, but instead starts to think about his own future. He was quickly approaching 50, and only had enough money in his 401k to live off a half-million per year. How would he survive? Would he have to sell the summer home in Cape Cod? Or give up his yacht club membership? Indeed, it began to dawn on him that he may never be able to properly retire. He may have to work day-in, day-out until the day he dies just to be able to make end's meet. For his sanity's sake, he distracts himself by answering emails on his smartphone, which had become a meditation of sorts for him. Still, in the back of his mind, he could not help but recall a homeless man he had seen in the streets years ago, as he was walking to work. The man had been carrying a sign that read "The American dream is dead." And the time, he paid little attention to this warning. But now, as the train starts to park at Grand Central, and he looks to his Rolex to see if he even has time to get a run in at Equinox before starting the work day, he realizes that the homeless man had been right all along.

b r a v o.

Takes me back to that S&C outward-facing-logo story

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

Can we get more stories about partners living paycheck to paycheck plz

He wakes up in his emperor-sized bed, eyes glued to the ceiling towering 16 feet above him. He looks to his alarm clock, perched upon his Restoration Hardware end table. 5:45AM. He lets out a sigh, which quickly forms into a misty cloud. He shivers as he reluctantly makes his way out of bed, stripping off the satin sheets and touching his feet to the chill marble floor. The winter cold penetrated his entire house, as his central heating system could not endure the task of bringing his seven-bedroom estate above 60 degrees on these harsh February mornings. He prepares a simple breakfast in his Vitamix blender: whey protein, organic bananas, unroasted peanut butter, and ice. As he sits in his breakfast nook, sipping on the concoction, he overlooks the Long Island Sound from his window and cannot help but notice how fewer yachts there are out there than there had been only a couple years prior. "Troubling times," he mutters to himself, and then gets up hesitantly to start the long day's work ahead of him. A man has to do what a man has to do though when living paycheck to paycheck in America.

He enters his 2019 Bentley Continental GT, and heads out on his daily trek to the Metro-North station. With today's car prices, he had to sacrifice and stick with the older model. On his drive, he glances at each house in his neighborhood that he passes, and shudders. "How much were these houses when I moved here? About two million each, on average. Now what are they worth? Only seven, maybe eight million tops." He ponders how he could have gained so little net worth since buying his house in 2010—just another sign of the state of affairs in this country. How will his children survive when he's gone?

Ah, his children. The lights of his life. He wondered what they were up to at the moment. It must be even chillier up in Andover than it is here. He would have to ask about it in their biweekly phone call—that is, if he has the time to call them between his meetings with clients. At the very least, he looks forward to spending a week with them in-person come June, when their vacation times align. He always tried his best to be a better father than his old man had been to him. Sure, while he doesn't get to see his kids as often as he may like, at least they are not subjected to the horrors of the public school system in the same way that he'd been. He did not even wish to imagine how his kids lives would turn out if they were forced to share a classroom with the ruffians of Westchester County. The $120,000 of annual tuition is well worth it.

Of course, he would have more money to offer his kids if he had not been put through three divorces. First there was Claire, who insisted that seeing her an hour per day (and two per day on weekends) was not the foundation of a healthy marriage. Then there was Elizabeth, who said it was "disturbing" how many family functions he missed. She certainly was the high maintenance one of the bunch. Finally, there was Patricia, who... well, he could not exactly remember why she divorced him. There was a huge deal being finalized that week. But now, through all the attorneys' fees and alimony, how much is he realistically bringing home annually at this point? Maybe five million, but that is before taxes. He couldn't bear keeping his mind on the topic.

He finally reaches the station. He locks his car, waits for the train, and sits down in a fairly empty section. He laments the distinct lack of people commuting into the city. Why are people so against going into the office these days? Do they have better things to do? He doesn't dwell on this too long, but instead starts to think about his own future. He was quickly approaching 50, and only had enough money in his 401k to live off a half-million per year. How would he survive? Would he have to sell the summer home in Cape Cod? Or give up his yacht club membership? Indeed, it began to dawn on him that he may never be able to properly retire. He may have to work day-in, day-out until the day he dies just to be able to make end's meet. For his sanity's sake, he distracts himself by answering emails on his smartphone, which had become a meditation of sorts for him. Still, in the back of his mind, he could not help but recall a homeless man he had seen in the streets years ago, as he was walking to work. The man had been carrying a sign that read "The American dream is dead." And the time, he paid little attention to this warning. But now, as the train starts to park at Grand Central, and he looks to his Rolex to see if he even has time to get a run in at Equinox before starting the work day, he realizes that the homeless man had been right all along.

"There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park, and is obviously more expensive than mine."

[Anonymous User]

It must be even chillier up in Andover than it is here.

I chortled

[feminist.supporter]

-Basic running costs for the households; rich folks generally have high basic running costs.
-Life Hobbies (Ferraris; ducatis; guns; some obscure collectibles; sports; pick your poison)
-Next house;
-prep tuitions for kids;
-College tuition funds for kids;
-Divorce settlement costs.