2021 End of Year Bonuses Forum

[CapibaraBipolar]

Kirkland announced

that Kirkland Concierge is available to wrap your holiday gifts if you’re too busy to do it yourself. For a fee, they’ll even pick them up and deliver them to your house wrapped.

This is the perk we were waiting for!

Why do they waste their money on stuff like this? Don't they realize associates would rather pocket the savings, however minor they may be once spread out? Or is it tailored more towards Boomer partners who are more likely to use a Concierge to run their errands for them?

I don’t think it’s a big firm expense but I also think associates are much less likely to use it. It seems like it’s mostly for buying tickets, booking venues/hotels/etc. for entertainment, or locating home service professionals and obtaining quotes (I’ve used it for this, and it was helpful to have someone send me five quotes for a service I needed, and I could just email the low one and do no other work).

Some of the examples of successes they’ve shared are a bit sad: Concierge has planned a 5 year olds birthday party, bought gifts for anniversaries, stuff that is part of being a human and connecting with loved ones that some lawyers have farmed out in order to bill instead. But I think it’s a pretty useful thing that I rely on maybe once a year and I appreciate it like any minor firm perk.

The concierge math is super simple for the firm.
Firm can bill 1 hour at $500.
A concierge may cost $35/hour.

If 10 hours of concierge work lead to a single more billable hour the firm comes out on top.

[Anonymous User]

Kirkland announced

that Kirkland Concierge is available to wrap your holiday gifts if you’re too busy to do it yourself. For a fee, they’ll even pick them up and deliver them to your house wrapped.

This is the perk we were waiting for!

Why do they waste their money on stuff like this? Don't they realize associates would rather pocket the savings, however minor they may be once spread out? Or is it tailored more towards Boomer partners who are more likely to use a Concierge to run their errands for them?

I don’t think it’s a big firm expense but I also think associates are much less likely to use it. It seems like it’s mostly for buying tickets, booking venues/hotels/etc. for entertainment, or locating home service professionals and obtaining quotes (I’ve used it for this, and it was helpful to have someone send me five quotes for a service I needed, and I could just email the low one and do no other work).

Some of the examples of successes they’ve shared are a bit sad: Concierge has planned a 5 year olds birthday party, bought gifts for anniversaries, stuff that is part of being a human and connecting with loved ones that some lawyers have farmed out in order to bill instead. But I think it’s a pretty useful thing that I rely on maybe once a year and I appreciate it like any minor firm perk.

The concierge math is super simple for the firm.
Firm can bill 1 hour at $500.
A concierge may cost $35/hour.

If 10 hours of concierge work lead to a single more billable hour the firm comes out on top.

I don't think there's even one lawyer at K&E that's being billed out for less than $600.

[Anonymous User]

Kirkland announced

that Kirkland Concierge is available to wrap your holiday gifts if you’re too busy to do it yourself. For a fee, they’ll even pick them up and deliver them to your house wrapped.

This is the perk we were waiting for!

Why do they waste their money on stuff like this? Don't they realize associates would rather pocket the savings, however minor they may be once spread out? Or is it tailored more towards Boomer partners who are more likely to use a Concierge to run their errands for them?

I don’t think it’s a big firm expense but I also think associates are much less likely to use it. It seems like it’s mostly for buying tickets, booking venues/hotels/etc. for entertainment, or locating home service professionals and obtaining quotes (I’ve used it for this, and it was helpful to have someone send me five quotes for a service I needed, and I could just email the low one and do no other work).

Some of the examples of successes they’ve shared are a bit sad: Concierge has planned a 5 year olds birthday party, bought gifts for anniversaries, stuff that is part of being a human and connecting with loved ones that some lawyers have farmed out in order to bill instead. But I think it’s a pretty useful thing that I rely on maybe once a year and I appreciate it like any minor firm perk.

The concierge math is super simple for the firm.
Firm can bill 1 hour at $500.
A concierge may cost $35/hour.

If 10 hours of concierge work lead to a single more billable hour the firm comes out on top.

As a (non-KE but V10) fourth year billing at $950/hr...

[Anonymous User]

So, which firms are we waiting on as likely market-moving raisers (and why)?

- DPW (has raised the scale in the past)
- Milbank (has raised the scale in the past)
- STB (can't remember what they last did?)
- ?


Who else?

Willkie, perhaps. Kicked off 2021 special bonuses.

Willkie is a good one. Updated list of bellwethers:

- DPW (has raised the scale in the past)
- Milbank (has raised the scale in the past)
- STB (can't remember what they last did?)
- Willkie (kicked off 2021 special bonuses)

STB set the pre-2021 EOY bonus scale back in 2014 and were also the first to raise salaries in I think it was 2017.

[Anonymous User]

Ok, the anonymous posters who *gasp* work at V5s and V10s and have *gasp* seen the attrition numbers and they're worse than ever and have been told that *gasp* their firm is TURNING DOWN WORK have convinced me that this time is different than all the other times that has happened.

Here's an article on law firm attrition from 2006 and how it was HIGHER THAN EVER: https://legalblogwatch.typepad.com/lega ... on_in.html. Two years after this article firms (maybe even your fancy V5s and V10s!) went and fired everybody who was left even after the RECORD ATTRITION.

And you're certainly not the first put-upon associates who have been told by partners "We're hearing you, we know everyone is slammed, the firm is even TURNING DOWN WORK."

By all means, take that $500k fully remote 10-4 and no weekends job that all 8,000 of you think you can get on January 1 -- you're a fungible cog in a machine that will keep running without you. I don't care enough to do the math, but I have to imagine that law firm associates are making more on an inflation-adjusted basis than any time in the history of the profession. But yeah, I'm sure that an extra $20k-30k after taxes will make you happy.

Signed, someone who has been doing this shit for over a decade.

He’s right! Everything is fine

This poster’s very clear thesis, which I’ll dumb down for you idiots who have not been doing this shit for over a decade, is this:
1. Firms are paying record bonuses, including retention bonuses and unheard of bespoke bonuses to high billers

2. But point 1 is not a reaction to any substantive change in the labor market. In fact, if you think the huge retention payments are aimed at solving a retention problem, you’re an idiot who’s clearly only been doing this for 9 years or less! There is no retention problem!! The firms are just being nice in fact, this poster actually just talked to John Cravath (that may seem far fetched but I remind you that the poster has been doing this for at least 11 years holey moley!!!!), and this is just a thing that every firm has done all the time throughout the poster’s 11 or more year career

Right, partners aren’t making record profits off record billablez. It’s always been like this, you just don’t know because you haven’t been an associate for ten to twelve years at a “V5-V100”. The self flagellation from some of you vets cracks me up. Doesn’t it take more to make partner than it did when you started Wiley ten years an associate poster or it’s just as easy as in 06’. This stuff is all relative and partners aren’t per se lying through their teeth when they say it’s been busier than ever. That’s the point, it keeps getting busier, associates are moving around more than ever. But hey, you were a first year in 2009, you’ve definitely been the busiest of all of us and lied to more.

I’m sure Apollo and Blackstone were deploying $20B a year using your law firm back then, or maybe it was just one mega deal a year. Who knows, but you’ve been doing this for ten years or longer at the WHOSE WHO of V5-V100.

[Anonymous User]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

[Anonymous User]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

Bravo

[Ultramar vistas]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

All 950 pointless posts were worth it for this.

[Anonymous User]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

Absolutely brilliant!

[Anonymous User]

People at the 3rd-5th year have never been getting so many targeted in house opportunities; people I know leaving at that level are commonly getting all-in comp of 350-500k. Some people are getting raises.

3rd years getting 500k in-house offers? ronburgundyidontbelieveyou.gif

Sincerely, Mid-level on the hunt for in-house gigs getting comp offers way below that.

Anon cause I don’t want to out I’m looking inhouse.

I’m a 5th year and I have two 350k-400k all-in package offers (one of which includes a signing bonus, so the comp may be lower after this year). I’m a specialist so my situation may be different from a general corp associate, but these jobs are out there, and they certainly aren’t 10-4. These are deal-driven roles and the interviewers specifically said I should expect to work at least 9 to 7 with occasional late nights and some weekends. But much better predictability ‘cause I’m really only servicing one client and would know the deal flows of all the deals, such that I would be able to plan vacations, etc. I’m on track for 2500 this year and really want to gtfo, but I’m weighing my options as we wait for DPW (or Milbank, or whatever) to announce increased year-end and another round of 2022 special bonuses, in which case I may just stick it out another year.

Collect your year-end bonus and then take one of these offers and run. Are you sure you're not over-counting the the equity comp portion (e.g. it vests over 3-4 years rather than all at once?)

[Definitely Not North]

[Anonymous User]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

This entire video was great, but I literally lol'ed at the one woman consoling the other woman by saying Cravath might still match Skadden's iPad giveaway. So good.

[Elston Gunn]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

Lmao

[TheoO]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

Lmao

[NoLongerALurker]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

This entire video was great, but I literally lol'ed at the one woman consoling the other woman by saying Cravath might still match Skadden's iPad giveaway. So good.

Same

[lawdude31]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

Well done. I especially enjoyed the full immersion where I had to enter "Yale" to publish this comment.

[Anonymous User]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

This was about the only silver lining in this whole “killed myself all year and bonuses are only going to go up $15k” shit sandwich if a bonus season.

[Anonymous User]

Thoughts that the new variant of concern will now be a reason for firms to match the Cravath scale? Have to protect the coffers, they will say, in case of a down turn.

[Anonymous User]

Thoughts that the new variant of concern will now be a reason for firms to match the Cravath scale? Have to protect the coffers, they will say, in case of a down turn.

My firm definitely would not give a reason for why we shouldn't be sad about the new higher bonus scale. They'd just say "we're matching Cravath, you're welcome!" Not sure why they'd need to cook up a dumb rationale.

[Anonymous User]

Thoughts that the new variant of concern will now be a reason for firms to match the Cravath scale? Have to protect the coffers, they will say, in case of a down turn.

"In light of the Omicron variant, we will be distributing iPads to all associates in lieu of annual bonuses. Also, we will continue to monitor the developing the situation while working with health experts to determine appropriate actions. That being said, we expect everyone to continue coming to the offices four or more days per week in order to maintain the firm's unique culture."

[glitched]

I’m feeling I’m just gonna quit in December. None of this is worth it.

[JusticeJackson]

I’m feeling I’m just gonna quit in December. None of this is worth it.

I have said this at least 1000 times in my career.

[BigLawPartner]

I’m feeling I’m just gonna quit in December. None of this is worth it.

I have said this at least 1000 times in my career.

Same, and I'm still here decades later.

[tsk222]

This thread increasingly makes for a great “Hitler angry at being told Steiner offensive won’t come” video.

LMAO please make this video

Sigh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRjDUsmQmA

King. Thank you.

[NoLongerALurker]

Billed 34 hours since (and including) Thanksgiving. double scale plz.(if only to hasten my financial ability to depart)