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I always struggle with greetings in cold emails to new/young associates, especially when they're closer to my age and/or alums of my school. It feels like I might come off too formal or stiff if I address the person as Mr./Ms., but I also don't want to jump the gun and use their first names from the get-go if they prefer the Mr./Ms. title.

Is there a convention for this? For example, first name is fine if they're junior associates but go with Mr./Ms. from senior associates and higher ups?

Is the rule of thumb just to start with Mr./Ms. and switch to first name if their response is signed with first name only?

Anonymous User wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 12:43 pm

if they prefer the Mr./Ms. title.

nobody prefers this. just go with first name imo

Go with their first name.

EIther "First Name," or "Hi First Name," is acceptable. Using Mr./Ms. is weird, especially if you're emailing a junior/younger associate who might only be a few years older than you.

The only bit of formality that is required is to use a person's full first name until they introduce themselves to you by their preferred nickname. For example, if someone tells you to email their friend Becky at X firm, but her firm bio page lists her as Rebecca, you should address the email to her using Rebecca.

There may be some partners that prefer to be addressed as Mr./Ms., but I can't imagine any associate that does, especially a more junior one. Also check firm bio...a lot of times if someone has a name they prefer to go by, it will be on there. Like: "Sam represents clients in complex..."

Dear Firstname [Lastname*]

*Only if you want

Anonymous User wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:15 pm

Dear Firstname [Lastname*]

*Only if you want

Disagree on last name. I would think it was weird if I got an e-mail like that.

Are people saying that “Dear Mr./Mrs. Lastname” is overly formal in the first communication? I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

If your email doesn't start with "Hail, Mr. XYZ, champion of law," I'm ignoring the email.

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:37 pm

Are people saying that “Dear Mr./Mrs. Lastname” is overly formal in the first communication? I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

I think you're probably in the minority. I don't really care either way, but I consider myself too young for that level of respect.

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:37 pm

Are people saying that “Dear Mr./Mrs. Lastname” is overly formal in the first communication? I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

In corporate Biglaw, just about everyone presumes first-name familiarity in a professional setting. At this point I view the ones who don't as weird. Even recruiters or random vendors cold-emailing me presume first-name familiarity.

The only time I ever use "Dear Mr./Ms. X" is if I'm sending a formal contractual notice to a completely unknown third party pursuant to the notice provision of a contract.

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:37 pm

Are people saying that “Dear Mr./Mrs. Lastname” is overly formal in the first communication? I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

In corporate Biglaw, just about everyone presumes first-name familiarity in a professional setting. At this point I view the ones who don't as weird. Even recruiters or random vendors cold-emailing me presume first-name familiarity.

The only time I ever use "Dear Mr./Ms. X" is if I'm sending a formal contractual notice to a completely unknown third party pursuant to the notice provision of a contract.

I am regulatory / litigation and think Mr./Ms. is weird unless emailing to an agency or court

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

Going into BL litigation at a firm that by reputation slants formal. I should clarify my previous post--I meant a stranger law student. Obviously colleagues etc. are a different ball game. But I also worked before LS and am slightly older.

Whatever you do, make sure to conclude with the customary: "Please accept, Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration."

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:37 pm

Are people saying that “Dear Mr./Mrs. Lastname” is overly formal in the first communication? I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

Really? I've always presumed first name in every professional setting I've been in (including Biglaw). Only time I ever get "Mr. XX" is from people trying to sell me something.

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:05 pm

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

Going into BL litigation at a firm that by reputation slants formal. I should clarify my previous post--I meant a stranger law student. Obviously colleagues etc. are a different ball game. But I also worked before LS and am slightly older.

lol you would be offended if another law student didn't address you as mr/ms?

i went to law school after 30 and think that is pretty crazy

whats an updog wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:49 pm

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:05 pm

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

Going into BL litigation at a firm that by reputation slants formal. I should clarify my previous post--I meant a stranger law student. Obviously colleagues etc. are a different ball game. But I also worked before LS and am slightly older.

lol you would be offended if another law student didn't address you as mr/ms?

i went to law school after 30 and think that is pretty crazy

“Other” law student? We are talking about law students reaching out to current associates.

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 3:38 pm

whats an updog wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:49 pm

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:05 pm

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

Going into BL litigation at a firm that by reputation slants formal. I should clarify my previous post--I meant a stranger law student. Obviously colleagues etc. are a different ball game. But I also worked before LS and am slightly older.

lol you would be offended if another law student didn't address you as mr/ms?

i went to law school after 30 and think that is pretty crazy

“Other” law student? We are talking about law students reaching out to current associates.

The notion of a 1L at a T14 who has several years of work experience (whether professional or military, etc.) having to address a 26 year old 1st year as "Mr./Ms." is nonsensical.

This is an interesting thread. As someone who was K-JD and has been in biglaw for awhile now, I've never had to write a cover letter/email soliciting a job (thanks OCI, school clinic, and minimum wage jobs). Say I'm applying to join the GC office of a hospital or nonprofit or networking with their staff. Would I not refer to the GC as Mr./Ms. in an email until they sign off as Bob/Janet in a reply? Feels kind of wrong to write "Hi Bob" or "Hi Janet" despite that being how I email clients and all of the folks I work with.

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 3:38 pm

whats an updog wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:49 pm

aegor wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:05 pm

4LTsPointingNorth wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:42 pm

Are you a current Biglaw lawyer? If so, are you a litigator? Litigation might be different since courts are formal institutions, etc. etc.

Going into BL litigation at a firm that by reputation slants formal. I should clarify my previous post--I meant a stranger law student. Obviously colleagues etc. are a different ball game. But I also worked before LS and am slightly older.

lol you would be offended if another law student didn't address you as mr/ms?

i went to law school after 30 and think that is pretty crazy

“Other” law student? We are talking about law students reaching out to current associates.

This is what you said in your first post:

I would be pretty offended if a stranger presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting.

Someone asked if you were in biglaw and you clarified that you are "going into BL litigation" or, in other words, are not in biglaw and are a current law student. Then you also clarified that by "stranger" you meant a "stranger law student." So that clarifies your above statement to read: "I [a law student] would be pretty offended if a stranger [law student] presumed first-name familiarity in a professional setting."

I now understand that you meant "I [in the hypothetical shoes of a biglaw associate] would be offended if...". In any case, it's all very silly, including my response.

Sackboy wrote: ↑

Mon Mar 29, 2021 4:06 pm

This is an interesting thread. As someone who was K-JD and has been in biglaw for awhile now, I've never had to write a cover letter/email soliciting a job (thanks OCI, school clinic, and minimum wage jobs). Say I'm applying to join the GC office of a hospital or nonprofit or networking with their staff. Would I not refer to the GC as Mr./Ms. in an email until they sign off as Bob/Janet in a reply? Feels kind of wrong to write "Hi Bob" or "Hi Janet" despite that being how I email clients and all of the folks I work with.

In a formal cover letter, I would use a formal greeting (although formal cover letters are becoming pretty rare generally). In a normal business setting, I address members of the C-suite by their first name same as anybody else in the organization.

Oddly, I would feel weird if anyone addressed me by anything other than my first name, but I would also feel extremely awkward addressing a stranger by their first name if they were not a colleague.

First name, regardless of age or seniority. As a litigator, the only time I’d use Mr. Or Ms. is if it’s a letter that may end up attached to a court pleading. Even then, I sometimes get I’ll say dear (first name). Similarly, I’ll sometimes say “counsel,” in more formal emails.

But this question seems more focused on recruiting or general interactions. That is always first name.

Counsel or Mr./Ms. in formal letters or referencing the person in front of a tribunal. First names for literally everything else. That’s the norm. If you’re interested in knowing the norm, that’s it.

I am a junior litigation associate who recently got an email from a law student who addressed me as "Mr./Ms." and it caused a mild existential crisis. Like, do they think I'm that old?!

In networking, I think "Dear FirstName" is appropriate for all but the most formal correspondence (like a job cover letter) or the most senior partners (and even then...). "Dear Mr./Ms." is more likely to cause a double-take if you're emailing someone junior.

You all know exactly who I am. Say my name. I'm the associate. I'm the man who billed 2800. Now, say my name.