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I had an interview two weeks ago, and I haven’t heard back since I got responses to some thank you emails I sent.

The firm said that I’d hear back in about three weeks. I don’t mind waiting one more week, but I’m about to be staffed on a huge multi-month matter, and I feel like I owe it to the partner I’m working with to tell them I can’t work on the matter since I’m lateraling. I would DEFINITELY accept the offer from the firm I interviewed with if they offered me the role.

Is it inappropriate to reach out to the firm to ask them if they’ve decided or should I wait until I hear back? If I wait, I’ll probably be put in a really awkward position with this partner, who has been very supportive during my time at the firm. Work on the matter starts on Wednesday.

Even if you get an offer by Wednesday, presumably it'll be subject to clearing conflicts, which could take anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks (or even a month). I can't imagine you would have that taken care of before Wednesday. I wouldn't let the staffing on this project impact pushing for an offer earlier - they told you three weeks, and it's been two. Until you clear conflicts, you should continue to work as if you are at your current firm long term, so don't turn down this project, and don't warn the partner that you might leave.

As a side note, associates leave in the middle of projects like this all the time - the partner might be ticked, but you can probably think through how to approach them when you leave that will lessen the blow (do whatever you can to help transition the matter, etc.). They may still be mad, but if they use it as an excuse to literally never talk to you again then...you were right to lateral out of there.