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Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:33 pm
by Anonymous User
Starting at a NYC V10 next Fall (not the firm where I summered). I don't drink. No health/moral/religious reasons for it...I just don't. How much of an issue is that going to be at a big firm? Would it look weird if I just ordered water or iced tea while out at lunch or social events with other attorneys?

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:52 pm
by Chrstgtr
You may get a question or two, and you obviously won't be the person associates think to invite out to happy hour or to bar events, but no one will make a big fuss about it. I don't drink and haven't had any issues. Just don't isolate yourself from drinking events, which is where most people really get to become friends and network. To be honest, the biggest negatives I would worry about are people assuming you are an alcoholic or extremely religious (and therefore unfairly thought of as unfun by people).

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:54 pm
by Anonymous User
If you're not weird about it, no one else will be. I worked in a super bro-y firm in a super bro-y location over the summer. The people who knew didn't care or were encouraging. Most people weren't paying attention enough to even notice, and I made no attempt to disguise it by holding alcohol-looking drinks at social events either.

I will say that it is super important to be able to drink for professional advancement. If someone who can help you out invites you to have a drink. Just roll with it.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 12:02 am
by dvlthndr
Firm events may have an open bar, but nobody is going to care if you prefer to nurse a soda.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:13 am
by 2013
Echoing the above. As long as you’re not weird or preachy about not drinking, no one will care/notice. Also, as someone who doesn’t drink, I’d probably not talk about some stupid thing another associate did while drunk because people may be less likely to invite the sober person who sits and judges while people drink (caveat: this doesn’t include reporting inappropriate behavior if it occurs).

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:36 am
by Anonymous User
I used to order “virgin” screwdrivers and pina coladas. People got a laugh out of it and nobody really cared.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:47 am
by TigerIsBack
I do drink at work events, but usually will rotate back and forth between a gin + tonic (with lime) and then just a club soda (also with lime) so it just looks like I'm holding a cocktail at all times, but then I'm not getting drunk at work events.

But obviously if you don't feel like disguising it, I still don't think anyone will care, but ordering a sparkling water with any kind of fruit in it will look like a cocktail if you're concerned what others think.

I also noticed you mentioned lunches in your original post: I'm not sure if NYC is different, but I've worked at 2 firms in 2 different major markets and I've never seen anyone ordering cocktails at lunch.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 11:50 am
by papermateflair
I don't drink for religious reasons, but I prefer to never bring that up and just say no thanks or otherwise wave it off and hope people don't ask. Not drinking hasn't been an issue for me - sure, there have been a couple of awkward conversations when people start really pressing on why I'm not drinking/won't take no for an answer (folks - there are any number of reasons why people aren't drinking! you don't need to ask them why!), but I've had awkward conversations with people centered around other things just because not every conversation flows perfectly :)

I think what's important is that you're comfortable/confident with your decisions, and don't make a big deal about it, and are generally friendly and a team player. I still get invited to all the happy hours and I go to all the events, although to be fair the groups I've worked in haven't had much of a bro-y culture. You can still "get drinks" with a client or coworkers and just order whatever you want and professional people are generally going to be respectful of your choices. I wouldn't worry about it affecting what people think about you - everyone thinks others are constantly thinking about them, but they're not. People will forget you're not drinking 30 seconds after you tell them you aren't. No one is going to be constantly looking at your glass and judging you for going with a soda or water (and if they are...that's weird).

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 1:34 pm
by QContinuum
Anonymous User wrote:I will say that it is super important to be able to drink for professional advancement. If someone who can help you out invites you to have a drink. Just roll with it.
It's important to be able/willing to go to bars for professional advancement, but there is no requirement that one must imbibe alcohol. No one will care (or even care to notice) whether you're ordering alcoholic or non-alcoholic drinks. Also, remember that even folks who love alcohol often switch between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks - no one wants to get sloshed at a work function - which makes things even less noticeable.

I personally am a (very) light drinker. I cannot imagine anything changing at any of the work functions I've ever attended had I imbibed, say, three non-alcoholic drinks at those events instead of one alcoholic plus two non-alcoholic beverages.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 1:43 pm
by logical seasoning
I too am a teetotaler. Remember that you are not some black sheep for choosing not to drink. Surveys have shown that around 45% of the world's population are life time abstainers (probably lower in the U.S., but still). When I prosecuted DUIs, almost always half of the jury raised their hands to "Who here doesn't drink?"

I say this because in the beginning of my career I felt a sense of embarrassment and insecurity about my decision to not drink. But now, I am confident that it is a perfectly normal trait and if your coworkers or boss has a problem with it, that is their insecurity showing.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:35 pm
by Anonymous User
I normally don't drink, and when I do, it's very little. I don't drink much because I don't like the taste of alcohol, and the way it makes me feel (I get instant headaches after less than one drink, turn bright red all over my face, chest, and ears i.e. look really drunk, and get really warm). I used to work at a regional office of a V10 where I summered. While at lunch people sometimes ordered alcoholic drinks (usually wine), but there was always a good number of people who chose to order non-alcoholic. I always ordered water or a coke and no one ever batted an eye, nor ever asked why I wasn't drinking in the middle of the day knowing I was planning to go back to the office and work after lunch.

I also chose not to drink at other summer functions (after work stuff) and because my class was 2 summers people noticed. They were never weird about it. Some people asked me if I just did not drink and I was honest and told them I didn't really like alcohol and I turn really red and would prefer not to look like that at work. It didn't matter to them and I still got an offer.

While I was an associate I still didn't drink and people didn't really care. I still went to happy hours just to socialize. Sometimes I got an alcoholic drink because I felt adventurous, but always just ended up nursing the drink because it did not taste good. Sometimes I felt pressured to order or hold an alcoholic drink because there were no alternatives (ex. at a wine tasting, or happy hour where non-alcoholic drinks were not available for some reason). I did give in and have a few sips during those times, but never drank more than those sips because, again, most people didn't care and if there were any that cared they never said anything to me. If you don't make a big deal out of it, others won't either.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 4:07 pm
by Anonymous User
Nothing at all to worry about. I understand that when you are still in law school, you can have a lot of different questions about what it is to work in biglaw, but this clearly isn't something you should worry about. I only drink when I am with friends or people I like to be friends with. I would go to firm events, but just drink water. Never had any issue with that. Once you start working, you will have myriad things to worry about and these minor stuff (even going to firm events for that matter) shouldn't bother you.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 6:49 am
by LaLiLuLeLo
Where I am, Mormon partners aren’t uncommon (no it’s not Utah or Idaho). There will always be people who don’t drink for religious or other reasons. Even just because. It’s not a big deal but I wouldn’t be shocked if you feel a bit excluded sometimes.

For example, partners and clients sniffing their own assholes about wine is a real thing.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 7:35 pm
by Anonymous User
I’m a mid level and I don’t drink either. Just tell people who ask you’re on a diet.

Re: Biglaw & Not Drinking

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:37 pm
by Anonymous User
No one will care. Probably a plus. I have encountered many big partners who order seltzer with lime.