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I’m a 4th year corporate associate. I’ve had a brutal last 4 months. Two friends (in their 20s) died unexpectedly and my grandfather is deteriorating quickly due to Alzheimers. I’ve been miserable in my job since I started, but I’m at a new low. I’m crying in my office daily and having frequent panic attacks. My department is going to be slammed until the new year. I’m seriously considering giving my two weeks notice on Friday - I just don’t think I can emotionally handle this stress level/these hours right now. I need time to grieve without the looming deadlines.

I obviously don’t have anything else lined up. I don’t know what I want to do next (I’ve been seriously considering leaving law for over a year, but haven’t committed to it yet). If I decided to keep practicing, am I completely destroying my legal career if I (a) leave without a job and (b) stay un- or underemployed for a bit? Any recommendations for what I can do to lessen the blow professionally?

Have you considered FMLA leave?

first, i'm sorry things have been particularly hard right now. second, no it won't hurt your career..careers are long and I can assume you already have good creds..those are never going to go away and there will probably always be someone who values them.. but I also won't chime in on making a decision like this if you feel like it's spur of the moment or mostly emotionally based.

Will say though I've seen lots of associates do this actually (from even up to a year) and are fine--someone I know even came back to firm. obviously your finances/life situation have to be somewhat in order for this to be ok. but taking a sabbatical or "figuring it out" is actually sometimes much easier outside of biglaw pressure depending on your firm and area..corporate can be tough--generally better to use down periods to try and do this but looks like this might've been building for a while.

You might be feeling insulated right now. Talk to people (you trust). But even from my experience once I started looking out of biglaw and thinking of things narrowly I started noticing just how many people have interesting paths with gaps and periods and just lots of things. I'm in one now actually and haven't had a hard time dipping a toe back in and there's still interest. Timing plays a factor in everything though and you have to think of what you want at some point.

on the other hand, depending though i've seen people get time off too (didn't know the reason). depends on the partners.

i would push for some kind of leave or sabbatical first. what are they going to do, fire you and pay you 3 months' salary?

Absolutely agree with the above -- please try to ask for a leave of absence. Wish you all the best and hope you feel better, OP.

I would ask to take leave (ideally FMLA if you can get the right documentation) and, if they say no, start phoning it in and looking for a new job. If you have any kind of track record of being good at your job they will give you several months of runway from your next review (if they even give you the talk at all).

Only quit as a last resort. Doesn't hurt to ask to take leave/sabbatical, unless you think they'd retaliate and try to force you out sooner than you're ready (unlikely but I've seen it happen including to me). I have quit / been laid off without having another job lined up, and it was incredibly stressful. Worst few weeks of my life. I was running around trying to get a high-stress public defender contract and hanging out around the courthouse hoping that that desperate/difficult criminal clients would ask to hire me (can't solicit obviously). I would have given anything to have a couple more weeks to get things lined up.

See a therapist by the end of the week and get the documentation for fmla. Continue seeing the therapist. Re-up when it's about to end.