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I'm about to start a biglaw job in a new city (first biglaw job, previous government experience). I don't have any sort of social support system in the new city and I'm kind of concerned about it. The people in my soon-to-be office seem friendly enough, but it's honestly the partners that seem more social than the associates. Do most of you actual friends with many people in your offices (rather than just "collegial")? Can associates be friends with partners? Sorry if it's a dumb question.

were you able to make friends in law school? The same answer will be true about being able to make friends at your new job

Staying anon because i don’t want people I know to know how I feel about my office:

I, like you, lateraled to a firm in a city where I don’t know anyone. My office has very few associates and many partners. Of the associates, maybe a handful are associates that aren’t married with children. My office has a very flexible work from home policy, so I rarely see associates here anyway. They mostly work from home and when they aren’t, they work through lunch so they can get home as fast as possible.

The firm/office has tried to push more associate happy hours and associate lunches, but no one seems to want to go to those.

We had an office happy hour once and I was the ONLY associate there. There were probably 15-20 partners there. Prime networking opportunity with partners, but shows the culture of my office.

I know this isn’t unique to my office either. I think satellites of more regional biglaw/less elite biglaw firms tend to be more like my office than the crazy NY/DC/CHI offices you hear about with 30+ person summer classes.

I’ve had some difficulty making friends outside of work because of the work schedule, but, it’s been fine for the most part. Just take my advice and don’t rely on your colleagues for friendship.

And give it a year or so before judging the experience.

Anonymous User wrote:Can associates be friends with partners?

Yes, IME, but only with junior partners you won't ever get work from (say, you're corporate and they're a litigator, or vice versa). "Never get work from" is critical, because otherwise the power dynamic comes into play, and "junior" is also critical, because otherwise it becomes much more of a mentor-mentee relationship than an "equal" friendship. (Mentor-mentee relationships can be very close and strong, of course, but they're not the same as "equal" friendships.)

FND wrote:were you able to make friends in law school? The same answer will be true about being able to make friends at your new job

OP here. I guess my concern is that it's a very different situation. Law school is a unique (often painful) group experience and I think going through that with a group bonds people for life. I will be entering a practice group within a firm (not just entering and rotating like many returning summers). I will be the only person coming directly into my group in my office (though some current 3Ls will likely end up in my group as well). In addition, since I didn't summer at the firm, I will be a bit behind on forming those relationships too.

I'm hoping it won't be bad, but I think it's difficult to move to a new city without any friends/family in place. I think the partner who brought me in will likely act as a mentor, which is great, but as another poster mentioned, that will never be a real or at least "equal" friendship.

Anonymous User wrote:

FND wrote:were you able to make friends in law school? The same answer will be true about being able to make friends at your new job

OP here. I guess my concern is that it's a very different situation. Law school is a unique (often painful) group experience and I think going through that with a group bonds people for life. I will be entering a practice group within a firm (not just entering and rotating like many returning summers). I will be the only person coming directly into my group in my office (though some current 3Ls will likely end up in my group as well). In addition, since I didn't summer at the firm, I will be a bit behind on forming those relationships too.

I'm hoping it won't be bad, but I think it's difficult to move to a new city without any friends/family in place. I think the partner who brought me in will likely act as a mentor, which is great, but as another poster mentioned, that will never be a real or at least "equal" friendship.

Don't overthink it, you'll become casually acquainted with everyone at work, maybe form lifelong relationships with some of them.
As for making new friends in a new city, just do social activities. Take up a hobby where you'll meet people, go to hangouts, etc. If you have to, look online for other new-to-the-city adults