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Everytime I decline an offer, the hiring partner asks where I decided to go. It feels awkward to leave them hanging or to decline to answer. Hate to sound so neurotic, but is it kosher to tell them where I’m going?

I just answered. I was in a secondary market with plenty of offers. Every time I told them, they would be like "congrats, that is a good firm, I know Jill and Jim really well, you'll enjoy working with them."

They like to know out of genuine curiosity, and it also helps them give the recruiting department feedback.

Anonymous User wrote:Everytime I decline an offer, the hiring partner asks where I decided to go. It feels awkward to leave them hanging or to decline to answer. Hate to sound so neurotic, but is it kosher to tell them where I’m going?

Yes.

It's definitely okay. Trust me, BigLaw partners aren't going to be trying to sabotage your career just because you didn't decide to join their firm. They know most folks have multiple offers and I can't think of a single firm (outside of maybe some of the smaller lit boutiques) that has an offer acceptance rate of >50%, so they're hardly going to be surprised by a candidate declining their offer.

It feels weird as a student because it's your first time doing this and the firms are very aggressively "competing" for your attention. But the firms do this every year. They only ask because they try to keep track of macro-level trends for recruiting purposes. You should feel free to tell anyone that asks. You don't need to say why, or why you're declining.

Is it also kosher to decline to tell them?

Just tell them. Common question.

Anonymous User wrote:Is it also kosher to decline to tell them?

I mean I'm sure people do it, but there's really no reason to. You'll be more memorable for declining a standard request, so if that's ok with you then sure go for it.

Pneumonia wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Is it also kosher to decline to tell them?

I mean I'm sure people do it, but there's really no reason to. You'll be more memorable for declining a standard request, so if that's ok with you then sure go for it.

One caveat, I think--and again, this is such a minor issue--is that if you haven't decided upon your ultimate destination, but have ruled out the firm you're calling to reject, you can say that you're still in the process of making your decision, but wanted to let the firm know as soon as possible in order to help the firm with its recruiting efforts. You can also offer to follow up once you've made your final call.

Declining to say the firms name might happen sometimes because many people are dishonest about looking at other markets, but it’s still probably not a big enough deal to decline to say where you’re going. Or you can just say the firm name and not the location.

I wish I could ask a firm that nooffered me "so who did you go with?" "Oh yeah he was in my section, youll enjoy working with him"

This is a weird question, but I guess it makes a modicum of sense. They aren't asking you because they're envious that another firm got you. They're asking because they want to know who they were competing against and what firm managed to recruit someone they wanted. They can't hold anything against you, because you already took a job elsewhere. Maybe they'll think twice if you try to lateral to the same office down the line, but even that is unlikely.

If you know what offer you're accepting, feel free to tell any other recruiters which offer you've accepted. If you're undecided on a few other offers but haven't nailed down which one, let the recruiters you're turning down know which offers you're still considering. They won't bat an eye, but they will fill out a spreadsheet.