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Second corporate year associate in a major market. The title says it all: I am massively burned out; I already suffer from anxiety and depression but in the past few months it has been amplified to a degree that I cannot describe, due to billing 60 hours/week or more and making small mistakes that I beat myself up for to a degree that makes me completely unable to get anything done. I will say that I absolutely love the content of what I do and the people in my group are truly lovely, partners included, but lately the volume and constant pressure that I put on myself has become completely unmanageable.

My question is: What are my options for exiting as a second year? I would ideally like something that doesn’t cause me to suffer a massive pay cut, but I would easily take 30-40K less per year in exchange for a manageable life.

Anonymous User wrote:Second corporate year associate in a major market. The title says it all: I am massively burned out; I already suffer from anxiety and depression but in the past few months it has been amplified to a degree that I cannot describe, due to billing 60 hours/week or more and making small mistakes that I beat myself up for to a degree that makes me completely unable to get anything done. I will say that I absolutely love the content of what I do and the people in my group are truly lovely, partners included, but lately the volume and constant pressure that I put on myself has become completely unmanageable.

My question is: What are my options for exiting as a second year? I would ideally like something that doesn’t cause me to suffer a massive pay cut, but I would easily take 30-40K less per year in exchange for a manageable life.

Have you taken a vacation? Take a vacation. A week minimum.

VulcanVulcanVulcan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Second corporate year associate in a major market. The title says it all: I am massively burned out; I already suffer from anxiety and depression but in the past few months it has been amplified to a degree that I cannot describe, due to billing 60 hours/week or more and making small mistakes that I beat myself up for to a degree that makes me completely unable to get anything done. I will say that I absolutely love the content of what I do and the people in my group are truly lovely, partners included, but lately the volume and constant pressure that I put on myself has become completely unmanageable.

My question is: What are my options for exiting as a second year? I would ideally like something that doesn’t cause me to suffer a massive pay cut, but I would easily take 30-40K less per year in exchange for a manageable life.

Have you taken a vacation? Take a vacation. A week minimum.

No vacation yet. I’m concerned that I’ve let myself get too far down the burnout hole and made one too many small mistakes, and then I’ve got it in my head that they’ll can me if I take time off.

I don’t know any more what is considered a normal mistake that I should let go of, and what is actually sloppy and incompetent.

Anonymous User wrote:

VulcanVulcanVulcan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Second corporate year associate in a major market. The title says it all: I am massively burned out; I already suffer from anxiety and depression but in the past few months it has been amplified to a degree that I cannot describe, due to billing 60 hours/week or more and making small mistakes that I beat myself up for to a degree that makes me completely unable to get anything done. I will say that I absolutely love the content of what I do and the people in my group are truly lovely, partners included, but lately the volume and constant pressure that I put on myself has become completely unmanageable.

My question is: What are my options for exiting as a second year? I would ideally like something that doesn’t cause me to suffer a massive pay cut, but I would easily take 30-40K less per year in exchange for a manageable life.

Have you taken a vacation? Take a vacation. A week minimum.

No vacation yet. I’m concerned that I’ve let myself get too far down the burnout hole and made one too many small mistakes, and then I’ve got it in my head that they’ll can me if I take time off.

I don’t know any more what is considered a normal mistake that I should let go of, and what is actually sloppy and incompetent.

You're likely just in your own head right now. Definitely take a vacation. If you don't have working when you come back then you can start looking. Either you take a vacation and leave, but maybe things get better; or you don't take a vacation and leave. Why not take one, then reevaluate things?

If you are billing 60+ hours a week it is unlikely your work quality is especially poor. People will stop feeding you work if you are producing stuff that isn't helpful to them (or maybe your firm is just so busy there's no alternative). Based on your referencing anxiety and depression, I suspect you are building up in your own head errors that are barely registering with the people you are working with.

Are you getting work consistently from the same people? If so, your work quality is probably fine in terms of quality. I'd see if you can break away in July or August (assuming you get vacation, take the full 2 weeks and go somewhere where you'll be completely unavailable) and see how you feel when you come back.

Have you seen s doctor for a mental health checkup? You should.

I don't get it. Are you constantly terrified of getting fired for screwing up?

Wild Card wrote:I don't get it. Are you constantly terrified of getting fired for screwing up?

OP here. Very much so. I live in fear of missing something, making small errors, etc.

I understand the urge to avoid mistakes, but you can't beat yourself up over them. I'm a senior associate at a top firm and made so many little mistakes both as a junior and in my current position. Put in a strong effort, triple-check your work, acknowledge mistakes when they happen and move on.

Clytemnestra3 wrote:I understand the urge to avoid mistakes, but you can't beat yourself up over them. I'm a senior associate at a top firm and made so many little mistakes both as a junior and in my current position. Put in a strong effort, triple-check your work, acknowledge mistakes when they happen and move on.

And take a day or two off for mental health reasons.

Clytemnestra3 wrote:I understand the urge to avoid mistakes, but you can't beat yourself up over them. I'm a senior associate at a top firm and made so many little mistakes both as a junior and in my current position. Put in a strong effort, triple-check your work, acknowledge mistakes when they happen and move on.

And take a day or two off for mental health reasons.