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How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:46 pm
by Anonymous User
I've been talking to this employer on and off for the past 10 days. We had an initial phone interview and then he scheduled an in person interview the following week. The in person interview was yesterday and he seemed really interested. The interview was one hour long and he kept talking about all the cases I'll be working on. He said things like "We'll get you a computer like this." He showed me the office and said "I don't know if you like blinds." Then he asked how soon can I start, etc.

Toward the end I asked him when can I expect a response and he said "Tomorrow." Well, I didn't hear anything from him today. I really wanted this job because I desperately want to leave my current job. I don't know how to deal with this rejection. I feel like he led me on completely though.

Bottom line is, I got rejected, didn't I? And is it normal for an employer to talk like that during an interview? It almost seemed as if I already got the job.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:48 pm
by crumb cake
Send an email and find out.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:49 pm
by Anonymous User
Well I already sent the thank you for interview e-mail yesterday after the interview. I don't want to come across as desperate.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:56 pm
by tyroneslothrop1
Relax. Something probably came up. I will feel bad for you if you are ultimately rejected though; it'd be bizarre to make those kind of comments and then not extend an offer. Though the guy already sounds like something of a weirdo.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:02 pm
by sparty99
Anonymous User wrote:I've been talking to this employer on and off for the past 10 days. We had an initial phone interview and then he scheduled an in person interview the following week. The in person interview was yesterday and he seemed really interested. The interview was one hour long and he kept talking about all the cases I'll be working on. He said things like "We'll get you a computer like this." He showed me the office and said "I don't know if you like blinds." Then he asked how soon can I start, etc.

Toward the end I asked him when can I expect a response and he said "Tomorrow." Well, I didn't hear anything from him today. I really wanted this job because I desperately want to leave my current job. I don't know how to deal with this rejection. I feel like he led me on completely though.

Bottom line is, I got rejected, didn't I? And is it normal for an employer to talk like that during an interview? It almost seemed as if I already got the job.
You were not rejected yet. Something may have happened. I would wait a full week and if you don't hear from you by next Friday, then follow-up the next Monday. Even if you get rejected, i have had a lateral interview sound very interested. Had me complete a client conflict check and one of the partner's said he liked my background and that i would probably be a really good fit. But ultimately they selected someone else. I was pissed b/c I also desperately wanted to leave. There had been other rejections at firms that I really wanted. I am usually depressed for a day, maybe 3 days, but I get over it and accept the decision and apply for new opportunities. Even if you don't get the job, there will be new opportunities. You have to be patient and don't get too down after a rejection. Always keep applying.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:31 pm
by lolwat
Maybe right after he interviewed you some asshole opposing counsel filed an ex parte application that required this guy to work overnight and show up to a hearing the next day, and then maybe that hearing lasted all day, and now he just wants to go home to his family for the weekend and kinda forgot that you exist. That might be a little extreme, but attorneys can go from having a normal relaxing day to shit hitting the fan in the span of like, 2 minutes.

I'd say maybe call him (not e-mail) towards the middle or end of next week if you still haven't heard. If he lets it go to voicemail and then doesn't return your call, well, you probably have your answer.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:44 pm
by A. Nony Mouse
FWIW, you never really have the job until you have the job. Employers often say stuff like "you'll work on these kinds of cases" and "we'll get you this kind of computer" and what they mean is if you end up getting this job. It's kind of obnoxious and unfair but you can't take it a sign that you have anything until you actually have it. It's just stuff employers say during interviews.

Hopefully in this case it really does mean you're getting the job. But you can't rely on it at all.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:45 pm
by mjb447
You're not rejected yet - give it a few days at least.

Statements like that aren't common, but it happens (see http://www.askamanager.org/2012/08/they ... e-job.html).

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 6:28 pm
by Anonymous User
Since he said he'll let me know by "tomorrow" on Thursday, and didn't email/call on Friday. Should I send him a short email on Monday asking if there is an update? He once said that I can call him or email him and ask him any questions I may have and I won't be bugging him.

At this point, I think I just want closure.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 3:50 am
by Pleasye
Anonymous User wrote:Since he said he'll let me know by "tomorrow" on Thursday, and didn't email/call on Friday. Should I send him a short email on Monday asking if there is an update? He once said that I can call him or email him and ask him any questions I may have and I won't be bugging him.

At this point, I think I just want closure.
It's been 3 days. You haven't been rejected yet.

Wait at least a week and then make a follow up call/email.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:50 am
by Anonymous User
Is there something wrong with sending a short email today and asking if there is an update regarding the associate position? Since he said tomorrow on Thursday. I know he is looking to hire immediately. I've been talking to him almost everyday since Sept. 19. If I wait a full week and don't receive an offer, I already know I've been rejected by then. That would be too late.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:40 am
by ggocat
I would not contact today, just as everyone else has said. Maybe you don't need to wait a full week. Hiring someone is a big decision. Give it at least another full day. The only reason to contact today would be if the guy is playing some weird mind game/test to see if you are on top of stuff and will track him down when there is a deadline. That's highly unlikely. And from your posts, it sounds like your desire to contact is driven solely by your desire to have a decision upfront. That's not a good reason to contact unless you have a competing offer.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:55 am
by Anonymous User
I sent an email this morning and he responded saying sorry for being so slow and quiet. Apparently, he was out of town Friday. He said he'll contact me today. IDK, does that sound promising? Typically, when a law firm rejects me I get ghosted or the rejection takes weeks.

I don't have another offer but due to some circumstances at work, it would be better for me to know sooner rather than later.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:02 pm
by Anonymous User
For what it's worth, I over-promise on when I'll get back to people all the time. Not a great quality for a lawyer - but things get busy and either you CAN'T, or think it can probably wait.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:30 pm
by dixiecupdrinking
A. Nony Mouse wrote:FWIW, you never really have the job until you have the job. Employers often say stuff like "you'll work on these kinds of cases" and "we'll get you this kind of computer" and what they mean is if you end up getting this job. It's kind of obnoxious and unfair but you can't take it a sign that you have anything until you actually have it. It's just stuff employers say during interviews.

Hopefully in this case it really does mean you're getting the job. But you can't rely on it at all.
This. It's an annoying habit but a lot of people do it.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:46 pm
by lolwat
Anonymous User wrote:I sent an email this morning and he responded saying sorry for being so slow and quiet. Apparently, he was out of town Friday. He said he'll contact me today. IDK, does that sound promising? Typically, when a law firm rejects me I get ghosted or the rejection takes weeks.

I don't have another offer but due to some circumstances at work, it would be better for me to know sooner rather than later.
Good luck

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:31 pm
by Anonymous User
Got the job offer! But now I'm wondering, is two weeks notice really that necessary? I want to leave my current job ASAP.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 11:38 am
by dixiecupdrinking
Anonymous User wrote:Got the job offer! But now I'm wondering, is two weeks notice really that necessary? I want to leave my current job ASAP.
Congrats!

Less than two weeks will probably burn bridges. Don't do it unless you have to.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:06 pm
by lolwat
dixiecupdrinking wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Got the job offer! But now I'm wondering, is two weeks notice really that necessary? I want to leave my current job ASAP.
Congrats!

Less than two weeks will probably burn bridges. Don't do it unless you have to.
This. I know you want out ASAP, but if you don't want to burn bridges, I would probably say two weeks. You need to balance your start date with, at least, looking to your current firm like you want to make sure your work gets smoothly transitioned to whomever would be taking it over.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:33 pm
by Anonymous User
You received an offer and you’re to start in two weeks….how did you bypass the often lengthy Conflicts phase?

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 1:05 pm
by lolwat
Anonymous User wrote:You received an offer and you’re to start in two weeks….how did you bypass the often lengthy Conflicts phase?
From the first few posts it doesn't sound like OP is in biglaw or anything. Conflict check might not be that difficult.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 1:17 pm
by Anonymous User
dixiecupdrinking wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:FWIW, you never really have the job until you have the job. Employers often say stuff like "you'll work on these kinds of cases" and "we'll get you this kind of computer" and what they mean is if you end up getting this job. It's kind of obnoxious and unfair but you can't take it a sign that you have anything until you actually have it. It's just stuff employers say during interviews.

Hopefully in this case it really does mean you're getting the job. But you can't rely on it at all.
This. It's an annoying habit but a lot of people do it.
I had an interview at Quinn where the partner was all like "when you join us this summer" and I was all "If I get the offer, that sounds great" to which he said "Well I don't think there's much worry about that -- pretty sure everyone interviewing this round is getting an offer, and you're a sure bet."

...Ding. Guess the associates I interviewed with really didn't like me.

Re: How do you deal with job rejection?

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 2:54 am
by mohdban
Congrats! You must be relieved :). Kick ass at the new job!