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How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 4:01 am
by Anonymous User
How do i liquor in the office without getting caught? I'm in an open cube situation, and I'm situated in the middle, next to a person who is absolute, no pun intended, nark material. Everyone else is probably cool.
I need to drink at work to deal with life. Can I sneak and how? Please help
I have a cabinet in my cube that is lockable. I can arrive to work earlier than everyone, including Narkface.
Narkface likes to take a lot of breaks, so I can swig. Best breathmint recs. are relevant
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 5:24 am
by B90
I read your second sentence as "I am open to an ice cube situation." Maybe try that.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 6:25 am
by cavalier1138
On the off-chance that this isn't a troll: please find a good therapist.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 9:10 am
by lawhopeful100
If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 9:30 am
by Nebby
Anonymous User wrote:
I need to drink at work to deal with life. Can I sneak and how? Please help
You should seek professional help. This is not a sustainable lifestyle. There are probably resources on your city or state bar website.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 10:29 am
by njdevils2626
lawhopeful100 wrote:If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 10:40 am
by sadpandayolo
njdevils2626 wrote:lawhopeful100 wrote:If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.
This plus strong cologne or strong air freshener. You'll just be known as the person who smells like bath and body works, but it'll mask the liquor smell. Also, try to get not-so-strongly scented liquor, like vodka.
I like bourbon in my coffee too. Pretty good at masking the smell. bring a flask and pour it into your coffee from under the desk.
Lastly, get a fucking therapist.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 11:15 am
by Anonymous User
I had a very big problem with alcohol for awhile. It can sneak up on you fast, and if you really do need it to get through the day, it will likely get worse and worse. For me, it progressed from drinking to blackout/passout occasionally, to every weekend to every night. Additionally, I would drink on Saturday and Sunday mornings to the point of passing out in the morning only to repeat in the afternoon. I drank alone to escape it was terrible. I am sure I stank at work and everyone knew even if they didn't say anything. Its only now, after having been sober for over a year that I can clearly see how far gone my behavior had gone.
I'm not here to judge or tell you that you have a problem. But, if you feel like it may be an issue, I urge you to get help - it only gets tougher.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:08 pm
by ballouttacontrol
dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:54 pm
by Anonymous User
I strongly suggest not drinking at work for numerous reasons. It will smell. You will smell. People will become suspicious and it could lead to employment problems. If you must drink at work you likely have a bigger problem on your hands than you realize.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:56 pm
by Nebby
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:57 pm
by BenjarvusGreenEllis
Have a big bottle of hand sanitizer on desk and use is after drinking. People will see the bottle and make the association.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 1:27 pm
by ballouttacontrol
Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:07 pm
by A. Nony Mouse
ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:41 pm
by TakeItToTrial
A. Nony Mouse wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:49 pm
by Abbie Doobie
BenjarvusGreenEllis wrote:Have a big bottle of hand sanitizer on desk and use is after drinking. People will see the bottle and make the association.
instead, pour the vodka into the hand sanitizer and take shots right out of the hand sanitizer bottle in front of coworkers (including Narkface). that way you can get drunk AND let your coworkers/Narkface know that you are fuckin crazy and not to be fucked with
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:49 pm
by MKC
TakeItToTrial wrote:A. Nony Mouse wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Or hand sanitizer.
That's the real answer OP. Nobody's going to think twice about the gallon jug of hand sanitizer on your desk.
ETA: FTR, I'm not suggesting OP fill the hand sanitizer jug with vodka.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:13 pm
by TooMuchTuna
Instead of breath mints, have you thought about washing all that liquor down with Cheez-Its? I have heard that's a really good snack to eat constantly while in the office.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:18 pm
by A. Nony Mouse
TakeItToTrial wrote:A. Nony Mouse wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:18 pm
by TakeItToTrial
Personally, I would go with the intravenous vodka drip. You won't have to worry about the smell, and if you say it's for a medical condition, your co-workers will be reluctant to probe for fear of violating your right to privacy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -life.html
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:22 pm
by TakeItToTrial
A. Nony Mouse wrote:TakeItToTrial wrote:A. Nony Mouse wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)
Vodka smells very similar to hand sanitizer, especially if it's the cheap stuff.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:24 pm
by TakeItToTrial
Anonymous User wrote:A. Nony Mouse wrote:TakeItToTrial wrote:A. Nony Mouse wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:Nebby wrote:ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)
Vodka smells very similar to hand sanitizer, especially if it's the cheap stuff.
Oops, accidental anon.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:26 pm
by rdawkins28
Mint julep, creme de menth, irish coffee, bailey's, etc.
Start smoking so your suit is reeked with cigarette/cigar smell. Put vapor rub, ben-gay on your body. Fart a lot. Do whatever it takes so no one gets near you.
Alternatives to imbibing: alcohol suppositories, alcohol patches, alcohol enemas, and alcohol IVs.
Alternatives to alcohol: opium, crack, ice cream.
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:26 pm
by ballouttacontrol
idk about you guys but I pretty rarely talk to someone other than my friends in person in my own office. my friends wouldn't give a shit and half have had a few beers at lunch or on their desk in the afternoon, and for supervisors it's almost always on the phone or a meeting in their office so just pop in a piece of gum before you go
Re: How to liquor
Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 3:32 pm
by kellyfrost
Spray Febreze on your chair.