I've mentally checked out of classes // but no social life Forum

[Anonymous User]

After OCI and securing 2L SA, I've mentally checked out of classes and I'm utterly bored. Is anyone else in the same boat? What makes this worse is that 1L, I made the mistake of not maintaining a social life. I kept to myself for the most part, and now that I'm down to hang out and shoot the shit, etc, I feel like most people in my class already have cliques of their own. Advice?

[sweets91]

After OCI and securing 2L SA, I've mentally checked out of classes and I'm utterly bored. Is anyone else in the same boat? What makes this worse is that 1L, I made the mistake of not maintaining a social life. I kept to myself for the most part, and now that I'm down to hang out and shoot the shit, etc, I feel like most people in my class already have cliques of their own. Advice?

Why anon?

And my advice would be to join any organizations/clubs you may be interested in, b/c you can meet people that way (also if you don't mind chilling with 1Ls, they don't have cliques yet, right? You can meet them in these clubs.) Also just talk to people around you before/after class,etc.

Basically just be social lol

[kellyfrost]

You should try and make some non-law school friends.

[Wild Card]

I felt this way 1L. You're late to the game.

[Anonymous User]

I can relate to this. If you're driven by OCI from the get go, you're less social than you otherwise would be. Even if you're friendly, people pick up on your energy and can tell you're focused on work, which makes you seem less fun. You wind up getting casual acquaintance-zoned. It's like being friend-zoned out of friendship. There's also the fact that suddenly being really friendly can come across as disingenuous. You're a friend when it's convenient for you.

The result of this is you get bored like OP. These boards focus on jobs and statistics, but the truth is that most people work similarly regardless of the incentive. Despite the crush 1L mantra, very few people go from 0 to 60 or 60 to 0. It's very hard to be selectively hardworking, and most people tend to be hardworking or lazy. Only a small %age of people are actually capable of turning on and off a switch at will, and the ones that can get bored around this time 2L year. They stay at one level through and through. Many law students at top schools are the academic version of the old person who retires only to start a new business a week later. OP - you need to start asking out people you enjoyed talking to first year out for lunch or something. They're not going to approach you, because in their mind you're a nice guy but are not interested in being their friend.

[Hikikomorist]

I can relate to this. If you're driven by OCI from the get go, you're less social than you otherwise would be. Even if you're friendly, people pick up on your energy and can tell you're focused on work, which makes you seem less fun. You wind up getting casual acquaintance-zoned. It's like being friend-zoned out of friendship. There's also the fact that suddenly being really friendly can come across as disingenuous. You're a friend when it's convenient for you.

The result of this is you get bored like OP. These boards focus on jobs and statistics, but the truth is that most people work similarly regardless of the incentive. Despite the crush 1L mantra, very few people go from 0 to 60 or 60 to 0. It's very hard to be selectively hardworking, and most people tend to be hardworking or lazy. Only a small %age of people are actually capable of turning on and off a switch at will, and the ones that can get bored around this time 2L year. They stay at one level through and through. Many law students at top schools are the academic version of the old person who retires only to start a new business a week later. OP - you need to start asking out people you enjoyed talking to first year out for lunch or something. They're not going to approach you, because in their mind you're a nice guy but are not interested in being their friend.

This explanation seemed really reasonable, but is there a cheaper solution?

[JGMotorsport]

Life is hard get over it.

[zhenders]

"it's like being friend-zoned out of friendship."

A+

[Anonymous User]

I'm kind of in this boat, except all of my close friends seem to still be gunning hard, whereas I am just straight chilling. I've run out of stuff to watch on netflix.

[Hikikomorist]

I'm kind of in this boat, except all of my close friends seem to still be gunning hard, whereas I am just straight chilling. I've run out of stuff to watch on netflix.

Luke Cage just got released, and Westworld looks amazing on HBO.

[Anonymous User]

I'm kind of in this boat, except all of my close friends seem to still be gunning hard, whereas I am just straight chilling. I've run out of stuff to watch on netflix.

Luke Cage just got released, and Westworld looks amazing on HBO.

I personally was not a fan of Jessica Jones so I'm skeptical about Luke Cage. I'll watch anything HBO releases so maybe on Westworld.

[lavarman84]

I can relate to this. If you're driven by OCI from the get go, you're less social than you otherwise would be. Even if you're friendly, people pick up on your energy and can tell you're focused on work, which makes you seem less fun. You wind up getting casual acquaintance-zoned. It's like being friend-zoned out of friendship. There's also the fact that suddenly being really friendly can come across as disingenuous. You're a friend when it's convenient for you.

The result of this is you get bored like OP. These boards focus on jobs and statistics, but the truth is that most people work similarly regardless of the incentive. Despite the crush 1L mantra, very few people go from 0 to 60 or 60 to 0. It's very hard to be selectively hardworking, and most people tend to be hardworking or lazy. Only a small %age of people are actually capable of turning on and off a switch at will, and the ones that can get bored around this time 2L year. They stay at one level through and through. Many law students at top schools are the academic version of the old person who retires only to start a new business a week later. OP - you need to start asking out people you enjoyed talking to first year out for lunch or something. They're not going to approach you, because in their mind you're a nice guy but are not interested in being their friend.

It's really not that hard. Think of activities that involve groups and happen fairly often. Examples: restaurant/bar trivia, sports, movies, etc. Find people you are friendly with and try to get a group together to do these things.

[lawhopeful100]

Start going to bar review. Find someone you know to go with / meet there and it's likely you will get to know all the people who regularly go out.

[A. Nony Mouse]

I can relate to this. If you're driven by OCI from the get go, you're less social than you otherwise would be. Even if you're friendly, people pick up on your energy and can tell you're focused on work, which makes you seem less fun. You wind up getting casual acquaintance-zoned. It's like being friend-zoned out of friendship. There's also the fact that suddenly being really friendly can come across as disingenuous. You're a friend when it's convenient for you.

The result of this is you get bored like OP. These boards focus on jobs and statistics, but the truth is that most people work similarly regardless of the incentive. Despite the crush 1L mantra, very few people go from 0 to 60 or 60 to 0. It's very hard to be selectively hardworking, and most people tend to be hardworking or lazy. Only a small %age of people are actually capable of turning on and off a switch at will, and the ones that can get bored around this time 2L year. They stay at one level through and through. Many law students at top schools are the academic version of the old person who retires only to start a new business a week later. OP - you need to start asking out people you enjoyed talking to first year out for lunch or something. They're not going to approach you, because in their mind you're a nice guy but are not interested in being their friend.

This explanation seemed really reasonable, but is there a cheaper solution?

1) Stop being so predictable hiko
2) You're not taking them on a date, you don't have to offer to pay - you're asking them to go to lunch with you, not offering to take them out to lunch. (At least I would find it really weird if a fellow law student offered to take me out to lunch for no reason.)

[ArtistOfManliness]

I also wouldn't doubt if several people were in your boat. Regardless, hang around after/before class... see if people wanna grab lunch/drinks... do intramurals... lunch/group events... go to the gym... pick up golf... lots of fun things to do, and you won't always have this free time!

[Anonymous User]

I meant getting food with someone you were friendly with as a 1L. It's something people do that's not too complicated, and lunch doesn't have a sexual ring to it. It's an easy to have 30 minutes to get to know someone. You wouldn't want to walk up to a stranger and say, "Wanna get lunch?" You could, and it would be funny, but the person might run away. You could chase em, but most beautiful friendships don't start with chasing strangers through a field repeatedly yelling, "Wanna get lunch!"

On the bar review note, I could see it being a little hard if everyone has their clique, and OP is going there alone. People forget that social skills are skills. If OP went a year without friends, they're not going to be as good socially as they were before law school. We're speaking about someone asking for advice on how to make a friend on the internet. They're not gonna be the fonz. It's a lot easier to make one friend who introduces you to more friends then to nervously go to bar review for the first time on your own, and stand awkwardly in a corner.

[jingosaur]

Do a really demanding clinic. Then at least you won't feel as bored.

[Anonymous User]

Same boat OP - got a SA through OCI and have lost all motivation. The worst part is that I transferred and now I dont know anyone. I'm of course happy with the SA, which was the reason for transferring, but I really miss my friends from 1L.

[Anonymous User]

"it's like being friend-zoned out of friendship."

A+

Not OP.

Found this to be so true during 1L. I was so focused on grades that I never really hung out with anyone. I mean I'd chat with people and joke around with people before class started, but it was basically come to class and then immediately go home for the most part. I kinda found that after just saying (hey!) in the hallways like 40 times to a person and never anything more I kind of fell into being the "I dont really know him but we say hi" type of guy. Everyone else went out for drinks a lot and so they all had their jokes/stories of what happened last weekend when they all went out together. When I DID try to be social (half way/three quarters through 1L), I'd go up to someone I knew standing in a group, try to enter the convo, but people already (like I said) had their inner-group jokes/stories, so anytime one of those started I wasn't able to talk at all, since I wasn't there for any of it...

Another huge let down was the fact that I don't drink...And everyone in law school drinks...and a lot of the events revolve around drinks...

TBH though, I really don't mind being basically "alone" in law school. I'm introverted and really don't need to talk with people to be satisfied.. I'm totally fine with just going to school, going to class, and then coming back home.

[sweets91]

You should try and make some non-law school friends.

[PeanutsNJam]

I'm kind of in this boat, except all of my close friends seem to still be gunning hard, whereas I am just straight chilling. I've run out of stuff to watch on netflix.

Luke Cage just got released, and Westworld looks amazing on HBO.

I personally was not a fan of Jessica Jones so I'm skeptical about Luke Cage. I'll watch anything HBO releases so maybe on Westworld.

Luke Cage is much better than Jessica Jones.

[tyroneslothrop1]

Get on them dating apps and start getting some ass (male or female).

[Hikikomorist]

I'm kind of in this boat, except all of my close friends seem to still be gunning hard, whereas I am just straight chilling. I've run out of stuff to watch on netflix.

Luke Cage just got released, and Westworld looks amazing on HBO.

I personally was not a fan of Jessica Jones so I'm skeptical about Luke Cage. I'll watch anything HBO releases so maybe on Westworld.

Luke Cage is much better than Jessica Jones.

Uh, no.