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I'm starting work next month as a first year at a V20. My longtime SO (no plans to get engaged/live together soon) just accepted a job in LA and is moving sometime in early November. All indications is that they want to be in LA for good, so eventually I'd move out there anyway. My firm has a couple CA offices that do a bit of work in my preferred practice group, but i'd likely have to switch to general litigation if I made a move west.

Would it be out of line to give my current office a few months, then ask sometime around when I'd need to register for the July '17 CA bar exam if I could transfer offices next fall? Ultimately my goal is to go in-house in 3-5 years, so such a request and move having negative implications for partner track or something doesn't concern me (I won't make partner anyway haha).

Anonymous User wrote:I'm starting work next month as a first year at a V20. My longtime SO (no plans to get engaged/live together soon) just accepted a job in LA and is moving sometime in early November. All indications is that they want to be in LA for good, so eventually I'd move out here anyway. My firm has a couple CA offices that do a bit of work in my preferred practice group, but it likely have to switch to general litigation if I made a move west.

Would it be out of line to give my current office a few months, then ask sometime around when I'd need to register for the July '17 CA bar exam if I could transfer offices next fall? Ultimately my goal is to go in-house in 3-5 years, so such a request and move having negative implications for partner track or something doesn't concern me (I won't make partner anyway haha).

I changed offices before I started as a first year. I'd say it makes sense to try to switch now instead of going for a couple of months and then bailing. Might as well start where you want to be, assuming its possible. Not all firms are office transfer-friendly or flexible though.

Not to tell you how to live your personal life, but I think you'd have a much stronger case if s/he were your fiance.

RaceJudicata wrote:Not to tell you how to live your personal life, but I think you'd have a much stronger case if s/he were your fiance.

Yeah, at the risk of seeming like a jerk, if she is your longtime SO, why are there no plans to get engaged/live together soon?

patentlitigatrix wrote:

RaceJudicata wrote:Not to tell you how to live your personal life, but I think you'd have a much stronger case if s/he were your fiance.

Yeah, at the risk of seeming like a jerk, if she is your longtime SO, why are there no plans to get engaged/live together soon?

Posting because also curious why you'd move across the country to not marry someone.

barkschool wrote:

patentlitigatrix wrote:

RaceJudicata wrote:Not to tell you how to live your personal life, but I think you'd have a much stronger case if s/he were your fiance.

Yeah, at the risk of seeming like a jerk, if she is your longtime SO, why are there no plans to get engaged/live together soon?

Posting because also curious why you'd move across the country to not marry someone.

Also curious about your personal life.

ArtistOfManliness wrote:

barkschool wrote:

patentlitigatrix wrote:

RaceJudicata wrote:Not to tell you how to live your personal life, but I think you'd have a much stronger case if s/he were your fiance.

Yeah, at the risk of seeming like a jerk, if she is your longtime SO, why are there no plans to get engaged/live together soon?

Posting because also curious why you'd move across the country to not marry someone.

Also curious about your personal life.

+1, OP please provide intimate details of your commitment issues

some people are fine with just dating for long term instead of getting married. I, for instance, have been dating my SO for 5 years. Don't really like the idea of getting married because it's kind of unnecessary -- wouldn't do anything except make a potential breakup a huge deal.

I don't give a crap whether or not OP gets engaged. Simply saying that this is an easier ask if s/he were in fact engaged. i.e. "Is there any possibility to move to the CA office because my Fiance got moved there." versus "my girlfriend/boyfriend moved there and I really want to join them."

Don't ask unless/until you're prepared to find a job at a new firm if yours says no.

Anonymous User wrote:some people are fine with just dating for long term instead of getting married. I, for instance, have been dating my SO for 5 years. Don't really like the idea of getting married because it's kind of unnecessary -- wouldn't do anything except make a potential breakup a huge deal.

How much does your SO secretly resent you? Just a lot, or is deep-down consuming their entire being?

tyroneslothrop1 wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:some people are fine with just dating for long term instead of getting married. I, for instance, have been dating my SO for 5 years. Don't really like the idea of getting married because it's kind of unnecessary -- wouldn't do anything except make a potential breakup a huge deal.

How much does your SO secretly resent you? Just a lot, or is deep-down consuming their entire being?

Lol.

OP here. Glad to hear no one thinks it would be a problem. As for the other questions: I'm in poverty right now, so I feel like I shouldn't get married until I'm at least poor.

In all seriousness, we've been dating since before college and both just like what we've got going on now. No need to change it up, though it's plausible that a move to CA would lead to us living together. Marriage is more of a matter of we don't want to get married before we're a certain age and are in better places financially.

Thanks for all the advice!