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When declining a return offer, would you call a partner that you had a good relationship to tell them personally or do you think they would rather just avoid the awkward conversation and hear it from the recruiter?

I would call and I would have good reasons that were non-offensive to that partner (i.e., some unobjectionable way in which another offer was better for a person in your shoes, not simply that the firm or the experience wasn't good enough). It is much more professional. The legal world is small and there's a chance you will run into, work against, or work with some of the people you used to work with in the future.