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I'm looking to do general corporate/M&A work in NY and hopefully stay at the firm for 4-6 years before transitioning to an in-house role. I connected well with the associates and partners at all three firms.

I'm really just looking for who has the best reputation for treating associates well and where I will have the best chance of making it past the first 2-3 years when associates typically begin to burn out. Any thoughts on the firms (particularly weaknesses that don't show up in chambers/vault etc. reviews) would be much appreciated. Thanks.

I'd go Debevoise without much hesitation. I'm actually not extremely familiar with the other two, but Deb pretty much has the reputation you described yourself as being interested in (e.g. Polite/gentle culture). Moreover, Debevoise has its home office in NYC and a strong corporate practice in general there. The other two are California firms with offices in NYC. I think Denevoise is a stronger firm overall than the other two, but this is especially true in NYC. So with culture and overall strength towards Deb, I think that's what I'd choose here. Good luck.

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Debevoise is a step above these other two firms.

I summered at Paul Hastings. I really liked it and have nothing but great things to say about the firm, the people, the work that lawyers of all levels were doing there, the direction of the firm, etc. That being said, I was hoping for Debevoise at OCI last year and didn't get it, and if I were in your shoes now, I'd pick Deb. This is especially true if you're just looking to do your time in biglaw and go in-house.