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Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either. And even if they did, I am fairly confident that wouldn't lead to the reaction I have received. I'm pretty sure there has been other hooking up within the class, and the fact that I have hooked up with two instead of one doesn't make me some sort of monster...

By the way I have never ever said that I was superior to anyone. I even mentioned in the beginning that I was uncomfortable complimenting myself on things like my looks or height, and that the only reason I brought them up was because this is the internet. I don't say those things out in public BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN SEE ME. I have to mention it here where I think it is relevant BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEE ME. I really don't understand how this is a difficult concept to grasp. Even if I was the ugliest fucking troll on the planet, what would I possibly get out of posting about my devastatingly good looks on a forum full of law students and lawyers (who are not known for their looks in general)?

By the way, everything I have posted in here has been sincere and genuine, but by all means continue to call me a troll.

Where I come from youd get your ass kicked for all this "please confirm how hot I am one more time" shit that youre pulling. what response did you need here? youre looking fine tonight, gorgeous. you're the prettiest one at the ball.
If you take "my incredible hotness" out of your story, it changes nothing. see that? but you needed it to be there for some reason. No one fucking cares how tall or handsome you are, and they dont care IRL either. I dont keep a scoreboard or anything but most of the people I know are reasonably attractive. So? who thinks so hard about this? and do you not yet know how easy it is to throw a rock and hit a fairly good looking person and how rare it is to hit any person who is decent or reasonable or kind or god help them honest--
only people who are really insecure need strangers, who will never be able to see or judge them, to believe how attractive they are. who cares about this. you sound like a 70 yr old guy looking for a 3rd wife on tindr without a profile pic.
thats why I think yr full of shit. Idk why you needed all that spelled out for you, it was pretty clear.

the rest of your story: there is no big mystery here. I dont care if you hook up with people or not, but some people cant do it diplomatically in the office, and youre clearly one of them. the girls talked, probably because they came to dislike you (who knows why, bitches be crazy right!) and now other people dont like you. get over it. just dont make the same mistake next summer. theres a hundred pretty girls outside the office, hook up with them, if you can. wasting good advice on this idiot

you cant be an asshole and then start wallowing in self pity. that's what yr doing here and I'll bet that's what you do IRL. be a nicer person if you want people to give a shit that you dont fit in while pouring yr heart out at midnight on Friday night. Otherwise have the courage of your convictions and be an asshole, and stop looking for pity. Man up.

Dunning-Kruger-->qed

Am i doing this right?

bk1 wrote:I always wonder, why do bad things happen to sexy people?

/thread

I hope OP's intent was to bring us to this point.

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

I'm not judging you for hooking up with a couple of your fellow summers. I think it's quite possible, however, that your behavior hurt/annoyed/offended these women, even though you evidently can't fathom how that might be so. It's that last part—your inability/unwillingness to allow for the possibility that perhaps you inadvertently did something hurtful or inappropriate—that's generating most of the negative reaction in this thread.

Given the tone of your posts, I find it rather unlikely that you're less judgmental than most people. That explanation appears to comfort you, but I doubt it's right. Look, there's something off about you. I realize that's a harsh thing to say, but you came to this thread asking for explanations, and you're getting them.

If you're not trolling, I sincerely think you should seek some kind of professional help. The "ask for help on an internet message board" approach clearly does not suit you. Good luck.

If OP isn't a troll (which, cmon he is a troll) he's a psychopath and is per se untreatable.

smaug wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

I'm not judging you for hooking up with a couple of your fellow summers. I think it's quite possible, however, that your behavior hurt/annoyed/offended these women, even though you evidently can't fathom how that might be so. It's that last part—your inability/unwillingness to allow for the possibility that perhaps you inadvertently did something hurtful or inappropriate—that's generating most of the negative reaction in this thread.

Given the tone of your posts, I find it rather unlikely that you're less judgmental than most people. That explanation appears to comfort you, but I doubt it's right. Look, there's something off about you. I realize that's a harsh thing to say, but you came to this thread asking for explanations, and you're getting them.

If you're not trolling, I sincerely think you should seek some kind of professional help. The "ask for help on an internet message board" approach clearly does not suit you. Good luck.

If OP isn't a troll (which, cmon he is a troll) he's a psychopath and is per se untreatable.

I'm not even going to bother responding to Kaysta's rambling comment because he is clearly just intent on insulting me or lacks the necessary reading comprehension, but I am genuinely curious about you. Any time I see you posting on this forum (including my thread) you are generally posting rude or nasty or negative comments. So I am genuinely curious what I could have possibly said in this thread that would make YOU of all people on this forum think I was a troll or psychopath. By the way neither of those is true, so try again.

I'll repeat what I said early on in this thread: you need to be seriously introspective. Your follow up posts aren't helping. For an entire group to dislike you to the point of avoiding you after just a few weeks does not bode well. Your inability to acknowledge possibly bad actions (hooking up, repeating that you can't fathom why they're freezing you out) and need to praise yourself (not judgmental, looks) gives posters here a hint of how you're like, and this is just the Internet.

You earlier contrasted this with the other poster. That post was quite different. Dude was just being insecure - he had no solid examples of being excluded and his mentor even told him he was fine. You have pretty solid evidence of being socially isolated by the group and it's clearly NOT fine.

Reputations are built faster than Rome. Think about law school - people generally figured out who they didn't like just a few weeks in. Yours may be salvageable. It may not. But given your posts here, you aren't helping yourself.

In general, when a bunch of people don't like you in a setting where most everything is at least faking being nice, that's YOUR fault. A lot of people here have identified the problem (you). What I haven't seen is what you're going to do about it. That's not a good sign for your.

Anonymous User wrote:

smaug wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

I'm not judging you for hooking up with a couple of your fellow summers. I think it's quite possible, however, that your behavior hurt/annoyed/offended these women, even though you evidently can't fathom how that might be so. It's that last part—your inability/unwillingness to allow for the possibility that perhaps you inadvertently did something hurtful or inappropriate—that's generating most of the negative reaction in this thread.

Given the tone of your posts, I find it rather unlikely that you're less judgmental than most people. That explanation appears to comfort you, but I doubt it's right. Look, there's something off about you. I realize that's a harsh thing to say, but you came to this thread asking for explanations, and you're getting them.

If you're not trolling, I sincerely think you should seek some kind of professional help. The "ask for help on an internet message board" approach clearly does not suit you. Good luck.

If OP isn't a troll (which, cmon he is a troll) he's a psychopath and is per se untreatable.

I'm not even going to bother responding to Kaysta's rambling comment because he is clearly just intent on insulting me or lacks the necessary reading comprehension, but I am genuinely curious about you. Any time I see you posting on this forum (including my thread) you are generally posting rude or nasty or negative comments. So I am genuinely curious what I could have possibly said in this thread that would make YOU of all people on this forum think I was a troll or psychopath. By the way neither of those is true, so try again.

I'm a bad bad dude. Game recognize game is all.

Did OP ever explain how he's at a west coast firm but posting on an east cost IP address? Is there like a VPN for biglaw sexymenz or what.

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

It's not about being judgmental. My take is that there is a very high possibility than in going from one girl to the next in a matter of a week or so, you (inadvertently) offended them and/or looked like that guy who planned to just work his way through the group. Like, a hookup is a hookup and doesn't imply any kind of commitment or exclusivity, obviously. But if you're talking about a fixed group of people that you work with and see every work day, and you hook up with one one week and a different one the next, it can come across like you're just hooking up with them because they're there, not because there's any actual attraction. People don't like feeling like conquests/notches in the belts.

This is leaving aside the possibility that there was something rude or offputting in how you treated each of them, which frankly can't be ruled out based on your posting here.

A. Nony Mouse wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

It's not about being judgmental. My take is that there is a very high possibility than in going from one girl to the next in a matter of a week or so, you (inadvertently) offended them and/or looked like that guy who planned to just work his way through the group. Like, a hookup is a hookup and doesn't imply any kind of commitment or exclusivity, obviously. But if you're talking about a fixed group of people that you work with and see every work day, and you hook up with one one week and a different one the next, it can come across like you're just hooking up with them because they're there, not because there's any actual attraction. People don't like feeling like conquests/notches in the belts.

This is leaving aside the possibility that there was something rude or offputting in how you treated each of them, which frankly can't be ruled out based on your posting here.

Credited.

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First of all I never told a soul about the hookups and I have no reason to believe that either girl said anything either.

But . . . you do have reason to believe it. Do you really, honestly not understand that?

Ok let's assume your point and they blabbed and somehow every summer knows. Why would that lead to being frozen out? If I found out that another summer had hooked up with a couple of the other summers I would find it to be amusing. It wouldn't make me hate his fucking guts. Maybe I'm just less judgmental than most people and that's why I am not getting this (in fact I know him based in part on this thread). I admit that this is a possibility for what is happening here.

I'm not judging you for hooking up with a couple of your fellow summers. I think it's quite possible, however, that your behavior hurt/annoyed/offended these women, even though you evidently can't fathom how that might be so. It's that last part—your inability/unwillingness to allow for the possibility that perhaps you inadvertently did something hurtful or inappropriate—that's generating most of the negative reaction in this thread.

Given the tone of your posts, I find it rather unlikely that you're less judgmental than most people. That explanation appears to comfort you, but I doubt it's right. Look, there's something off about you. I realize that's a harsh thing to say, but you came to this thread asking for explanations, and you're getting them.

If you're not trolling, I sincerely think you should seek some kind of professional help. The "ask for help on an internet message board" approach clearly does not suit you. Good luck.

Why not? Hooking up with your coworkers is pathetic and weird, and straight up recklessly stupid during an audition for a job.

Foghornleghorn wrote:Did OP ever explain how he's at a west coast firm but posting on an east cost IP address? Is there like a VPN for biglaw sexymenz or what.

Not the expert regardng this by any means, but many employers route Internet traffic through their central office, probably to keep track of it. If OP were posting from work, it might show up as east coast.

Or sexy men Vpn. who knows.

lol if he's posting from work

How could OP be an asshole? Isn't it more likely that all the summers, associates, partners, and everyone ITT are the assholes, and probably all ugly as well?

This threads losing its luster because of all the ugos.

OP did we determine if you have a monster horse cock or what?

Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:How could OP be an asshole? Isn't it more likely that all the summers, associates, partners, and everyone ITT are the assholes, and probably all ugly as well?

I mean only attractive people could understand the persecution attractive people suffer right so we must all be ugly.

PeanutsNJam wrote:

Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:How could OP be an asshole? Isn't it more likely that all the summers, associates, partners, and everyone ITT are the assholes, and probably all ugly as well?

I mean only attractive people could understand the persecution attractive people suffer right so we must all be ugly.

theres a movement by some ITT here to make them a protected class, so the rest of us should stop targeting them, its making them sad

and dang it, what the heck do I need to do to get some recognition for being an asshole, here. Ive done solid work in that direction #heartbreaking #cantreedgud

Internetdan wrote:This threads losing its luster because of all the ugos.

OP did we determine if you have a monster horse cock or what?

curious how his cock compares to jagdog's

Feel free to use iOS devices as your unit of measurement.

Anon who made the other thread here. This is hilarious af. All you can really do from this point out man is try to not make any more waves. Maybe people will forgive these indiscretions later in the summer if you keep your head down a little.

[I'm a different anon than OP.]

OP - I'm in a pretty similar spot as you (minus the hookups and very-attractive bits), and also trying to figure out what's wrong with me. There's only one other summer I'd call a friend (and even that's kinda iffy), and a couple that will make polite conversation; the other summers respond to any attempts I make to start a conversation with varying degrees of indifference to dislike. Another poster in this thread described me perfectly - when I first enter a group (new job, law school, summer firm, etc) people are friendly and seem to like me; but over the course of a few weeks-months most people get colder towards me. And because life has a sense of humor, it validates the hell out of me when people actually do like me, it just doesn't happen very often.

I'm confident there's something fundamentally wrong with me - I've never been very well-liked, and although I've had the hardest time connecting with people in law school and my summer firm, I can't just blame it on me not connecting with lawyers. I want to fix myself, but it's starting to feel futile. I've been trying off-and-on for the past 10 years or so to fix myself.

First I thought my problem was being shy. I started opening up to people, and I made them dislike me in half the time. Rinse and repeat with different guesses I've had with respect to what's wrong with me.

Someone earlier in this thread mentioned getting professional help. Assuming that wasn't a joke/half-serious, who would you even talk to about something like this? I'd like to fix this solely through introspection, but I'm not having very much luck doing so.

[EDIT: I don't mean to hijack your thread OP, just figured it made more sense to post this here than in a different thread.]

Anonymous User wrote:[I'm a different anon than OP.]

OP - I'm in a pretty similar spot as you (minus the hookups and very-attractive bits), and also trying to figure out what's wrong with me. There's only one other summer I'd call a friend (and even that's kinda iffy), and a couple that will make polite conversation; the other summers respond to any attempts I make to start a conversation with varying degrees of indifference to dislike. Another poster in this thread described me perfectly - when I first enter a group (new job, law school, summer firm, etc) people are friendly and seem to like me; but over the course of a few weeks-months most people get colder towards me. And because life has a sense of humor, it validates the hell out of me when people actually do like me, it just doesn't happen very often.

I'm confident there's something fundamentally wrong with me - I've never been very well-liked, and although I've had the hardest time connecting with people in law school and my summer firm, I can't just blame it on me not connecting with lawyers. I want to fix myself, but it's starting to feel futile. I've been trying off-and-on for the past 10 years or so to fix myself.

First I thought my problem was being shy. I started opening up to people, and I made them dislike me in half the time. Rinse and repeat with different guesses I've had with respect to what's wrong with me.

Someone earlier in this thread mentioned getting professional help. Assuming that wasn't a joke/half-serious, who would you even talk to about something like this? I'd like to fix this solely through introspection, but I'm not having very much luck doing so.

[EDIT: I don't mean to hijack your thread OP, just figured it made more sense to post this here than in a different thread.]

Did you have any friends before law school? It might be a good idea to reach out to them and ask them candidly for their impressions. Other than that, your school probably offers some sort of counseling service. I'm not sure if that's your best option, but it's probably the easiest to try.

Honestly, I think talking to a therapist could help? They're not social groomers, of course, but if part of the issue is you being concerned about how people are going to respond to you (which I think would be completely normal by this point), a therapist can help you work on that. It can take a little while to find one you click with, but from the brief time I worked with one, it can be staggeringly helpful to have someone sort of mirror your thought processes back to you and help you see what doesn't work and how you might change them.

frank-reynolds wrote:
Did you have any friends before law school? It might be a good idea to reach out to them and ask them candidly for their impressions. Other than that, your school probably offers some sort of counseling service. I'm not sure if that's your best option, but it's probably the easiest to try.

Yeah, I had friends before law school. I've never had a lot of friends (and generally the friends I've had were a little messed up in their own ways), but I don't think I've ever been universally hated. That's a good idea, but I haven't seen the friends I've kept in touch with in person for about 3-8 years. I tried asking my spouse, but their best guess was I'm insecure and quiet (not wrong, but not really helpful).

EDIT: A.nony.mouse: When finding a therapist, is there a specific term for the type of therapist that will give you no-bullshit advice/feedback? When I think 'therapist,' I imagine someone who's going to do some socratic-method type stuff, or someone who's there mostly just so you can have someone listen to you; but then again I know nothing about the topic.

It's usually called "University Counseling Services" or something similarly generic. It won't be a specialized therapist.

I second asking people who know you for candid advice. Of all the people I've liked initially and slowly (or quickly) grew to dislike, every one of then had some off-putting personality trait, and shyness/insecurity was never it.

Things that are off-putting to me: cockiness, entitlement, drama seeking, self centered, overreactive, generally mean to others. There are more but that's off the top of my head.