BigLaw OCI while pregnant....need advice on wardrobe and other stuff Forum

[morningstar]

Hey guys, I guess I'm posting here because I just don't even know where to start. To start, I'm facing OCI coming up this August, and I've got a bun in the oven. My due date? August 11. If I carry this tater tot to term, I'll be fully manatee-sized for OCI. There is, of course, the possibility that he'll come early, before OCI. (There's also the possibility he'll decide to start ruining my life at an early age and come DURING OCI).

I'm at a mid-T14 school, and our biglaw interviews happen in early August. So obviously I didn't plan my life well, and right now I feel pretty screwed and hopeless. I've got so many things that I think are working against me, and I'm hoping to get advice on at least some of them.

APPAREL:
Since I'm facing the maybe/maybe not question of whether I'll be pregnant or have newly given birth, does anyone have any suggestions in this department? I know common wisdom says to have a nicely tailored suit ready to go for OCI. Well, I don't know if I'm going to need to work around babyzilla or not. AND, if babyzilla is still in there, I don't know HOW BIG I'll be at the time of OCI. ANNNNNDDD if babyzilla ISN'T still in there, I STILL don't know what's going to fit. I feel like I'm totally up shit creek in this regard. Advice?

ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE WOMB:
Do I talk about it? Do I only talk about it if asked? Do I tell them (truthfully) that this is the one and only baby that I'm going to have, and while I wouldn't have timed it ideally to be coming around the time of OCI, I DID want to time it so that it was old enough to be in daycare by the time I start at a firm? Is there even a good way to spin this?

PICKING MY BATTLES:
Anybody have any advice on some firms that are maybe a little more friendly and accepting of pregnant mothers? I'm not going to need them to have a wonderful maternity policy because like I said I'm not planning on repeating this process. Just some firms that maybe historically don't deduct too many points from ladies in my delicate condition?

Fuck. This is all so overwhelming. This baby was a total surprise, I promise I'm not an idiot who got pregnant knowing I'd be about to pop during OCI. All the same, any advice on making the most out of OCI would be really, really, really appreciated. I feel pretty hopeless right now.

[landshoes]

Hey guys, I guess I'm posting here because I just don't even know where to start. To start, I'm facing OCI coming up this August, and I've got a bun in the oven. My due date? August 11. If I carry this tater tot to term, I'll be fully manatee-sized for OCI. There is, of course, the possibility that he'll come early, before OCI. (There's also the possibility he'll decide to start ruining my life at an early age and come DURING OCI).

I'm at a mid-T14 school, and our biglaw interviews happen in early August. So obviously I didn't plan my life well, and right now I feel pretty screwed and hopeless. I've got so many things that I think are working against me, and I'm hoping to get advice on at least some of them.

APPAREL:
Since I'm facing the maybe/maybe not question of whether I'll be pregnant or have newly given birth, does anyone have any suggestions in this department? I know common wisdom says to have a nicely tailored suit ready to go for OCI. Well, I don't know if I'm going to need to work around babyzilla or not. AND, if babyzilla is still in there, I don't know HOW BIG I'll be at the time of OCI. ANNNNNDDD if babyzilla ISN'T still in there, I STILL don't know what's going to fit. I feel like I'm totally up shit creek in this regard. Advice?

ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE WOMB:
Do I talk about it? Do I only talk about it if asked? Do I tell them (truthfully) that this is the one and only baby that I'm going to have, and while I wouldn't have timed it ideally to be coming around the time of OCI, I DID want to time it so that it was old enough to be in daycare by the time I start at a firm? Is there even a good way to spin this?

PICKING MY BATTLES:
Anybody have any advice on some firms that are maybe a little more friendly and accepting of pregnant mothers? I'm not going to need them to have a wonderful maternity policy because like I said I'm not planning on repeating this process. Just some firms that maybe historically don't deduct too many points from ladies in my delicate condition?

Fuck. This is all so overwhelming. This baby was a total surprise, I promise I'm not an idiot who got pregnant knowing I'd be about to pop during OCI. All the same, any advice on making the most out of OCI would be really, really, really appreciated. I feel pretty hopeless right now.

Is your career services office helpful at all with this? They might be able to help. My approach would be to 1) contact alums in firms you're interested in for coffee ASAP; 2) apply to firms in advance of OCI and inform them that you might not be able to attend but are very interested in their firm, and you know all about it because of [alum]. Basically try to get callbacks set up even if you don't make it to OCI. I'm a 1L though.

There are maternity suits and especially dresses. A nice dress with a suit jacket and some basic jewelry will look fine.

I know of some women friendly firms but they're in Chi, not sure if you'd be interested.

[morningstar]

Chicago is a market I'm interested in. If you wouldn't mind sending those family friendly firms to me, I'd be really appreciative.

[xael]

I don't have any suggestions about interviewing while pregnant but would suggest heavily mass mailing and trying to get an offer before oci.

[morningstar]

I don't have any suggestions about interviewing while pregnant but would suggest heavily mass mailing and trying to get an offer before oci.

I think it's a really good idea and I'm planning on doing that. What do you think about mass-mailing those firms that I would have bid high for during OCI? Should I just mass mail EVERYONE because there's a chance that I might not be able to attend OCI? Do I address the fact that I may not be able to attend OCI, and if so, do I address why?

I'm sorry. I'm so stupidly full of uncertainty and questions over this whole thing.

[xael]

I don't have any suggestions about interviewing while pregnant but would suggest heavily mass mailing and trying to get an offer before oci.

I think it's a really good idea and I'm planning on doing that. What do you think about mass-mailing those firms that I would have bid high for during OCI? Should I just mass mail EVERYONE because there's a chance that I might not be able to attend OCI? Do I address the fact that I may not be able to attend OCI, and if so, do I address why?

I'm sorry. I'm so stupidly full of uncertainty and questions over this whole thing.

I would mass mail everyone TBH and just act like you are going to miss OCI. If you get a screener or callback and then are dinged just don't bid them during oci itself if you are able to attend.

I mass mailed firms coming to oci and barely any of them asked why (though for a few, I threw in a reason why I was applying to that firm). The ones that did I just said I was in the area (which was true).

ETA: I wouldn't say why you can't attend

[morningstar]

Also, do you have any thoughts about markets? I'm not targeting NYC, it's not really where I want to live OR raise a child. I know typically that west coast offices are a bit more humane and possibly family friendly, but does anyone have advice on which offices to target? Should I go even farther and target the midwestern offices of some of the bigger firms on the chance that they're more family-friendly?

[morningstar]

How did you choose who to mass mail? How many did you actually send? Do people actually, like, mass mail every office of the AmLaw 200?

[Anonymous User]

Is taking a year off (and graduating a year later, i.e. with the class of 2019) not an option? That seems like by far the best option to me if it'd be financially feasible for you and your SO, despite having substantial downsides (additional year of lost income, etc.).

There are just so many ways OCI could end poorly in this scenario. It seems like a very, very, very risky idea to do OCI within a week or so of your due date.

The biggest thing that you don't seem to be accounting for is the fact that OCI is not just the few days to a few weeks (usually 3-5 days, but some schools have 2 week OCIs) of screener interviews on campus. It's also the weeks of callbacks that follow the screener interviews. Unless your OCI literally starts in July AND you don't deliver early, there's almost 0% chance you'll be done with your callbacks by the time you deliver (unless you don't get many/any callbacks). Also note that some (many?) airlines don't allow you to fly after 36 weeks. Unless you're literally only bidding on the market your school is in (which would probably be a terrible idea, unless you're at Columbia/NYU), you're going to have to fly to go to callbacks.

You're also assuming you won't have major complications. What if you do have complications and are put on bed rest (or worse)? Also, OCI can be exhausting–I can't imagine doing it 9 months pregnant.

This all is putting aside the extremely unfortunate but undoubtedly real likelihood that you'll be the victim of bias during your interviews (conscious and unconscious). I was not pregnant during OCI, but still had some subtly sexist comments made to me during the process. Unless you're otherwise a very strong candidate (i.e. top grades, good work experience, stellar interviewing skills), it seems like a big gamble to take.

You need to meet with your career services office and your dean of students ASAP to discuss this. To me, the only way to avoid taking a year off while still having a very good chance of getting biglaw is if you land a job via massmailing very early in the summer. You should talk to your school and see if they'd let you postpone the decision of whether or not to take a year off until July or so. If you've landed an offer by massmailing then, great. If not, I really think you should take a year off if at all possible.

eta: I saw your post that you're not interested in NYC. If you're not bidding NYC, I implore you to take a year off. Not bidding NYC significantly increases your chances of striking out, regardless of pregnancy or any other factor.

[girlrunning]

No personal experience on this, but I've read a ton of Corporette articles and those ladies are a wealth of information. They also have open threads where you can ask questions and get comments back from other posters--I've asked OCI (non-preggers though) questions that range from the super mundane to picking my firm. I highly encourage you to either email your question in or pose it in the open comment threads!

Here are the links to those:
http://corporette.com/category/lifestyle/pregnancy/
http://corporettemoms.com/?_ga=1.974175 ... 1456797468

Also, don't be scared about clothing, Corporette covers it a bit, but here are some other places to consider:

http://www.apeainthepod.com/Product.asp ... ry_Id=MC19
http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/maternity-work-clothing

[Sprout]

I don't have any suggestions about interviewing while pregnant but would suggest heavily mass mailing and trying to get an offer before oci.

I think it's a really good idea and I'm planning on doing that. What do you think about mass-mailing those firms that I would have bid high for during OCI? Should I just mass mail EVERYONE because there's a chance that I might not be able to attend OCI? Do I address the fact that I may not be able to attend OCI, and if so, do I address why?

I'm sorry. I'm so stupidly full of uncertainty and questions over this whole thing.

I'm not an expert. But to the bolded -- yes always yes.

ETA: Accidental anon, this is Sprout.

[Anonymous User]

.

[morningstar]

I don't have any suggestions about interviewing while pregnant but would suggest heavily mass mailing and trying to get an offer before oci.

I think it's a really good idea and I'm planning on doing that. What do you think about mass-mailing those firms that I would have bid high for during OCI? Should I just mass mail EVERYONE because there's a chance that I might not be able to attend OCI? Do I address the fact that I may not be able to attend OCI, and if so, do I address why?

I'm sorry. I'm so stupidly full of uncertainty and questions over this whole thing.

I'm not an expert. But to the bolded -- yes always yes.

ETA: Accidental anon, this is Sprout.

Just to clarify...when we say EVERYONE, are we talking, like, every office of every AmLaw 200?

[morningstar]

weawwpwaawawawawawawawawawawaw8998888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888uaf

ETA: The above message is endorsed by keyboard cat.

[xael]

I mass mailed some major firms in the city I was working in this summer and my home town.

I'd also recommend you mass mail NYC. If you do go through with oci this year, you can always work in NYC for a few years and then try to leave before your kid is "interviewing" for kindergartens or whatever

ETA: I'm far and away not an expert on this, though.
ETA2: I'm sorry you have to go through this though/congrats on the pregnancy/being female suckssssss

[morningstar]

I mass mailed some major firms in the city I was working in this summer and my home town.

I'd also recommend you mass mail NYC. If you do go through with oci this year, you can always work in NYC for a few years and then try to leave before your kid is "interviewing" for kindergartens or whatever

ETA: I'm far and away not an expert on this, though.
ETA2: I'm sorry you have to go through this though/congrats on the pregnancy/being female suckssssss

I'm just wondering if, considering my challenges, I should mail pretty much everyone that's in any market I would consider working in.

[Tls2016]

I agree with the advice to assume you will miss OCI and try everything you can to find a job before then. Firms are more open to mass mailing for jobs. If they respond that they will see you at OCI you can tell them that your baby is due during that time and you can't count on attending.

Having a baby is the most legitimate reason to miss OCI.

Just be professional and organized.Lots of women in law firms have babies and cope. You can do the same. Don't be overwhelmed.

Eta: by mass mailing I mean every possible firm including NYC. Read the thread here on mass mailing. You gave to assume that you won't be looking for jobs the first month or so after the baby is born. Just find a job ahead of time and save the stress.

[SplitMyPants]

Would you even be able to fly for call-backs that late in your pregnancy?

Also, not saying NYC is ideal to raise a child, but it is literally the catch-all market.

[A. Nony Mouse]

I mass mailed some major firms in the city I was working in this summer and my home town.

I'd also recommend you mass mail NYC. If you do go through with oci this year, you can always work in NYC for a few years and then try to leave before your kid is "interviewing" for kindergartens or whatever

ETA: I'm far and away not an expert on this, though.
ETA2: I'm sorry you have to go through this though/congrats on the pregnancy/being female suckssssss

I'm just wondering if, considering my challenges, I should mail pretty much everyone that's in any market I would consider working in.

Yeah, this is the way to go. You can never apply to too many firms. Overall, I agree with Tls2016.

[xael]

OP, I think it might be an upward battle but all you need is one offer! No one stays at their first firm forever anymore. It sounds like you have a supportive partner and are willing to be mobile and I hope you are willing to mass mail NYC.

Unless the pregnancy goes way over term I don't think you would have too many issues with flying.

E: in terms of where to mass mail, I agree that you should mass mail everywhere, but definitely prioritize anywhere you have ties, DE, NYC, and DC. A lot of people say that DC is a crapshoot and it kind of is, but they have larger class sizes than other non-NYC markets and don't get a lot of mass mailed apps (and it's easier to explain why DC than like, why LA, if you've never lived there). Not all of the firms are appellate firms. DE doesn't seem to care that much about ties, and NYC class sizes are so large (and it's so easy to manufacture reasons for why NYC) that they don't also.

[jvr2]

Obviously not totally recommended but it is an option... working with your doctor to determine a date you want to induce labor instead of letting nature take its course (elective labor induction), I think around 39 weeks is ok...don't know where that puts you on the calendar..might be right during OCI...man he really can come at any time right around then..I'd guarantee that he comes during OCI with the stress of it all.

I know if you need a c-section that is schedule 2 weeks before your dude date at least to be sure you don't go into labor before they can get you into surgery. But inducing just cause...most doctors would want a medical reason for it but if your full term or very close to it at that point you can schedule to get that sucker out once he is fully cooked and not a minute later. Doctors do allow it for arbitrary things like a due date lands on a really bad day (4/1 or 9/11) and people just don't want their kids b-day to be that but it's probably usually just a week or few days before. I think as high as 20% of women do it...something to talk to your doctor about. Also natural ways to induce as well.

Really...don't listen to anything I just said...it was just something I thought of.

[morningstar]

OP, I think it might be an upward battle but all you need is one offer! No one stays at their first firm forever anymore. It sounds like you have a supportive partner and are willing to be mobile and I hope you are willing to mass mail NYC.

Unless the pregnancy goes way over term I don't think you would have too many issues with flying.

I'm definitely not opposed to NYC. I just figured that would be where all the gunners would be aiming and it might be a moot point for me to try there. It's not where I see myself longterm, but neither is the market where I'm attending law school.

And yes, I'm lucky in that my partner is super supportive, and will be able to be home with the baby while I'm at school/working. I also have a great mom & mother-in-law who have already volunteered to fly out and help for several weeks after the baby's born. I'm no stranger to pushing myself, and while it'll suck to miss out on some of the newborn baby smell I understand that I'll soon be graced with, I'm realistic in that I know any sacrifices I make now are so I can afford to give this baby a good life.

[morningstar]

Obviously not totally recommended but it is an option... working with your doctor to determine a date you want to induce labor instead of letting nature take its course (elective labor induction), I think around 39 weeks is ok...don't know where that puts you on the calendar..might be right during OCI...man he really can come at any time right around then..I'd guarantee that he comes during OCI with the stress of it all.

I know if you need a c-section that is schedule 2 weeks before your dude date at least to be sure you don't go into labor before they can get you into surgery. But inducing just cause...most doctors would want a medical reason for it but if your full term or very close to it at that point you can schedule to get that sucker out once he is fully cooked and not a minute later. Doctors do allow it for arbitrary things like a due date lands on a really bad day (4/1 or 9/11) and people just don't want their kids b-day to be that but it's probably usually just a week or few days before. I think as high as 20% of women do it...something to talk to your doctor about. Also natural ways to induce as well.

Really...don't listen to anything I just said...it was just something I thought of.

If you could see how many browser tabs I already have open concerning this, you'd laugh. It's crossed my mind, and I'm not opposed to it. I just didn't want to become a fucking meme or something saying "cut this baby out, it's time for OCI." I'm going to talk to my doctor, I'm not going to compromise the baby's health to land biglaw, but if there's a safe time to induce before biglaw, it's definitely a consideration.

[Sprout]

OP, I think it might be an upward battle but all you need is one offer! No one stays at their first firm forever anymore. It sounds like you have a supportive partner and are willing to be mobile and I hope you are willing to mass mail NYC.

Unless the pregnancy goes way over term I don't think you would have too many issues with flying.

I'm definitely not opposed to NYC. I just figured that would be where all the gunners would be aiming and it might be a moot point for me to try there. It's not where I see myself longterm, but neither is the market where I'm attending law school.

And yes, I'm lucky in that my partner is super supportive, and will be able to be home with the baby while I'm at school/working. I also have a great mom & mother-in-law who have already volunteered to fly out and help for several weeks after the baby's born. I'm no stranger to pushing myself, and while it'll suck to miss out on some of the newborn baby smell I understand that I'll soon be graced with, I'm realistic in that I know any sacrifices I make now are so I can afford to give this baby a good life.

To my (limited) understanding, NYC is actually not a gunner-y market when compared to others. I think it is because they have lots more jobs and generally take lots more people that are transplants without any qualms. I would mass mail everywhere, though. Literally any market you would work in, but maybe go heavy on NYC? There is no downside to mass mailing.

Also agree with Xael, being a girl sucks. Congrats though, and good luck. It's going to be an uphill battle but clearly you're handling it, and I am wishing you the best.

[landshoes]

You're not going to fly for at least 2 weeks post baby. C-section more like 4-6 weeks. That's not something you can tough out. There's a chance you get lucky and don't tear but even then using the bathroom is an ordeal for like a week. Plus you will be bleeding heavily and will have leaky breasts. I would try not to think of the baby coming as giving you the ability to do interviews/travel immediately.