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ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:00 pm
by Bildungsroman
Hopefully some turdburger comes along and says that you shouldn't. That would get this thread hopping.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:22 pm
by krads153
Cash money is the only CR

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 9:33 am
by Anonymous User
krads153 wrote:Cash money is the only CR
How much? This is my first rodeo.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 9:49 am
by Mad Hatter
I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:05 am
by JenDarby
I think this depends on the age/personality of your secretary too. My secretary would be extremely insulted by cash. She fought against being made overtime eligible since she thought it was an insult to her level.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:05 am
by LeDique
If dick in the box is wrong, I don't want to be right

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:10 am
by Nebby
JenDarby wrote:I think this depends on the age/personality of your secretary too. My secretary would be extremely insulted by cash. She fought against being made overtime eligible since she thought it was an insult to her level.
Would she have made more money for the same amount of work she already does?

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:14 am
by JenDarby
Nebby wrote:
JenDarby wrote:I think this depends on the age/personality of your secretary too. My secretary would be extremely insulted by cash. She fought against being made overtime eligible since she thought it was an insult to her level.
Would she have made more money for the same amount of work she already does?
Yep. She gets in at 7-7:30 and generally stays until 6:30, often 7-8.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:15 am
by Lacepiece23
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:15 am
by Nebby
JenDarby wrote:
Nebby wrote:
JenDarby wrote:I think this depends on the age/personality of your secretary too. My secretary would be extremely insulted by cash. She fought against being made overtime eligible since she thought it was an insult to her level.
Would she have made more money for the same amount of work she already does?
Yep. She gets in at 7-7:30 and generally stays until 6:30, often 7-8.
Damn, some people just want to watch the world burn.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:16 am
by Nebby
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:18 am
by WillitBlend
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
my secretary hinders more than she helps...how much should i spend?

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:34 am
by Nebby
WillitBlend wrote:
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
my secretary hinders more than she helps...how much should i spend?
Ah, well that's a different conundrum entirely. I have no idea.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:43 am
by Anonymous User
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
Damn, some people have loans out here lol. If I were debt free $500 wouldn't seem like a lot. But I live like a college student and thats more than my rent per month.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:43 am
by Lacepiece23
Didn't mean to be anon.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:43 am
by Nebby
Anonymous User wrote:
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
Damn, some people have loans out here lol. If I were debt free $500 wouldn't seem like a lot. But I live like a college student and thats more than my rent per month.
By 5th year, you have enough wiggle room to spend $500 on a gift.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:44 am
by A. Nony Mouse
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
That's what I've seen people say is a good guideline, too. If $500 is more than your rent per month that just means your rent is ultra-cheap, not that the gift is expensive.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:50 pm
by krads153
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
I literally never ask my secretary to do anything....that said, she's a nice person. I don't think it's 100 per year of seniority though. I know 5th years who give around $300....

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 3:04 pm
by OfThriceandTen
anyone have a pool of secretaries and know wtf to do with that? $25 per head seems pretty insulting.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:44 pm
by masterbrowski
Amazon gift cards are the way to go, assuming they know how to internet. Otherwise get one from Target or somewhere similarly versatile. $100 per year of seniority is fine. Trust me, a 5th year associate can afford $500 unless they are in gambling debt with the Yakuza or something. I could afford $500 right now as a third year with six figures of debt and a 2BR apartment.

And be a nice person. Don't just slip the gift card in an envelope or forward it with the email confirmation from Amazon. Buy a card that says "HAPPY HOLIDAYS," write a thank you note inside with your big boy/girl handwriting, and throw in a box of chocolates or a little poinsettia or something. Remember, this is the person who you will one day force to scan 50 different documents, name all the files, then print them all out and place in a tabbed indexed 3-ring binder. You might not do that kind of stuff as a first year, but you will soon enough. As a lit associate, you really have to start leaning on your secretary as the years go on.

A partner explained it to me this way: the better you treat your secretary the harder they will work, making you look better in turn. Simple but people seem to forget..

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:49 pm
by masterbrowski
WillitBlend wrote:
Nebby wrote:
Lacepiece23 wrote:
Mad Hatter wrote:I believe standard convention is $100 per year of seniority, but it might be market-dependent. I have no idea what stub-year protocol is.
So a 5th year would get his or her secretary $500? Really that seems like a lot.
It's difficult to fit a $500 gift in a $200k salary for the person who literally makes your job possible.
my secretary hinders more than she helps...how much should i spend?
Do what is conventional and buy the present. Hold up your end but expect that they hold up theirs. If they don't, then ask for a new secretary.

What kind of jobs are you giving your secretary that they can't complete? Or are they just lazy?

DFTHREAD

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:49 pm
by Desert Fox
Image

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:57 pm
by krads153
masterbrowski wrote:Remember, this is the person who you will one day force to scan 50 different documents, name all the files, then print them all out and place in a tabbed indexed 3-ring binder. You might not do that kind of stuff as a first year, but you will soon enough. As a lit associate, you really have to start leaning on your secretary as the years go on.
Weird. At my firm paralegals do all of the above. Some of the paralegals bill 80 hours a week depending on the group. Our secretaries answer calls, but that's about it.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:57 pm
by masterbrowski
Desert Fox wrote:
masterbrowski wrote:Amazon gift cards are the way to go, assuming they know how to internet. Otherwise get one from Target or somewhere similarly versatile. $100 per year of seniority is fine. Trust me, a 5th year associate can afford $500 unless they are in gambling debt with the Yakuza or something. I could afford $500 right now as a third year with six figures of debt and a 2BR apartment.

And be a nice person. Don't just slip the gift card in an envelope or forward it with the email confirmation from Amazon. Buy a card that says "HAPPY HOLIDAYS," write a thank you note inside with your big boy/girl handwriting, and throw in a box of chocolates or a little poinsettia or something. Remember, this is the person who you will one day force to scan 50 different documents, name all the files, then print them all out and place in a tabbed indexed 3-ring binder. You might not do that kind of stuff as a first year, but you will soon enough. As a lit associate, you really have to start leaning on your secretary as the years go on.

A partner explained it to me this way: the better you treat your secretary the harder they will work, making you look better in turn. Simple but people seem to forget..
Why mess around with gift cards. CASH MONEY the way to go.

But damn 500 is a lot.
I think we are probably the same year, right? Assuming you're at market as a third year, do you feel like it'd be hard to swing $300? I feel like I could afford that easily. As far as I know, attorney presents are the only form of X-Mas bonus secretaries at most firms get.. and otherwise they are getting paid hourly. My secretary has been at the firm a long time and I feel as though they deserve it.

As far as cash goes... I guess I just feel a little weird giving straight cash. A gift card lets me have the illusion of it being a "present." I know some other people have that same irrational hang-up. That being said, you're totally right... it's the functional equivalent of cash but just a little less convenient.

Re: ITT: We discuss what to get your secretary for the holidays

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:00 pm
by lacrossebrother
JenDarby wrote:I think this depends on the age/personality of your secretary too. My secretary would be extremely insulted by cash. She fought against being made overtime eligible since she thought it was an insult to her level.will sue for liquidated damages later.