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Got too drunk at a post event bar, aggressively hit on associate's friend. Asked said associate how to have a one night stand with a girl I've been texting.

I figure 50/50 split between no offer and 5th year partner.

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Desert Fox wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Got too drunk at a post event bar, aggressively hit on associate's friend. Asked said associate how to have a one night stand with a girl I've been texting.

I figure 50/50 split between no offer and 5th year partner.

Is the associate a man. And is friend a female he is trying to bang?

Did other people hear and see this.

Associate was a woman and it was a good friend so no, I was not cockblocking.

Others heard it. Mostly summers and juniors.

Email server automatically turns certain letters surrounded by parentheses into emojis. So my 3 factor analysis of a research issue outline, instead of going (a) (b) (c), is instead punctuated with a wink emoji, a broken heart, and a sheep emoji, respectively. Did not bother to read my email in sent box for an hour afterwards - sent a retraction/apology but no response yet. This is from a male SA to a female senior associate.

Kinda hoping it's no big deal.

fobstory.jpeg

fobstory.jpeg

Desert Fox wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

Desert Fox wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Got too drunk at a post event bar, aggressively hit on associate's friend. Asked said associate how to have a one night stand with a girl I've been texting.

I figure 50/50 split between no offer and 5th year partner.

Is the associate a man. And is friend a female he is trying to bang?

Did other people hear and see this.

Associate was a woman and it was a good friend so no, I was not cockblocking.

Others heard it. Mostly summers and juniors.

firms tradtiional offer rate?

100%. Most no offers are not work product related but rather social (like acting inappropriately).

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First summer a satellite office has ever had. Other office have offer rates of about 80%. I do good work, and am not that aspie. However, I committed the cardinal sin of having 3 pairs of AE shoes.

fobstory.jpeg

Desert Fox wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:First summer a satellite office has ever had. Other office have offer rates of about 80%. I do good work, and am not that aspie. However, I committed the cardinal sin of having 3 pairs of AE shoes.

for the love of god buy more!

Wait I only have two pairs of AEs. How many should I have?

I work for a very ambitious, very large senior associate woman. Whenever I receive assignments from her I can't help but stare at her massive, flabby arms or the impressive mustache that she's growing on her lip. She's probably beginning to notice, I drooled a little bit on my notepad today. No offer?

Opened bathroom door kind of hard, slamming it into a mid-level I work with (who doesn't seem to enjoy the burden of dealing with SAs) who was apparently standing right behind it. He seemed not mad, but also not happy.

Also was late to a meeting by 6 minutes one time because I forgot.

ETA: Small class, been 100% for at least 5 years probably more, but notably ruthless as fuck generally.

Not my own, but one I observed/heard of recently. SA was nodding off a bit during a meeting with some senior associates in it. At least 3 noticed. Thoughts?

yesss

Anonymous User wrote:Email server automatically turns certain letters surrounded by parentheses into emojis. So my 3 factor analysis of a research issue outline, instead of going (a) (b) (c), is instead punctuated with a wink emoji, a broken heart, and a sheep emoji, respectively. Did not bother to read my email in sent box for an hour afterwards - sent a retraction/apology but no response yet. This is from a male SA to a female senior associate.

Kinda hoping it's no big deal.

that's hilarious

also, tag

I accidentally urinated in my office. no offer?

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Was sitting in my office doing work late today and my partner calls to ask how I'm doing. I wanted to enthusiastically say "I'M GREAT!" but thought I'd be honest and say "I'm okay . . .” instead. However, I mixed the two up together and enthusiastically said, "I'm GAY!" before immediately hanging up in pure horror. Partner hasn't called back. This was 30 minutes ago. No offer?

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I had a milkshake with lunch and dairy does not sit well with me. Silently kept farting throughout hour long meeting. Cast the occasional disgusted look at the dumpy SA near me during the meeting b/c of obvious smell. Don't think anyone suspected me.