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Getting engaged: men, slightly more employable, women, no effect

Getting married: men, slightly more employable, women, slightly less employable

Marrying someone with a shitty job: men, much more employable, women, no effect

Having kids: men, significantly more employable, women, significantly less employable

Currently expecting a child: men, employability through the roof, women, unemployable

DELG wrote:Getting engaged: men, slightly more employable, women, no effect

Getting married: men, slightly more employable, women, slightly less employable

Marrying someone with a shitty job: men, much more employable, women, no effect

Having kids: men, significantly more employable, women, significantly less employable

Currently expecting a child: men, employability through the roof, women, unemployable

Having had boomer bosses who verbally confirmed every one of these, yup, absofuckinglutely.

m.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/why-43-of-women-with-children-leave-their-jobs-and-how-to-get-them-back/275134/

43% of women quit working after having kids.

Maybe that's because employers treat them like shit once they have kids.

MarkinKansasCity wrote:m.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/why-43-of-women-with-children-leave-their-jobs-and-how-to-get-them-back/275134/

43% of women quit working after having kids.

I wonder how often that's because their employers directly or indirectly tell them they should

Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

A. Nony Mouse wrote:Maybe that's because employers treat them like shit once they have kids.

That and countries that have paid maternity leave have better employment rates among women. See, e.g., Canada; Western Europe.

Also, heard on the local NPR affiliate here in Dallas, for every dollar spent on pre-K, they see a $7 return on investment. Hmm, weird.

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

Wow, I had no idea that men still said things like this... Hello 1950s.

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

How the fuck do female lawyers find jobs in secondary markets?

exitoptions wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

Wow, I had no idea that men still said things like this... Hello 1950s.

We had met in the military, and he was still in. The military is stuck in the 1950s with how they treat spouses. The wives' clubs are like Stepford. I once got an angry call from Afghanistan because I had pissed the wives' club off so much that they complained to their spouses on deployment. (The reason: I was couldn't join them to go strawberry-picking at 10 am on a Tuesday because I was busy with a murder trial in Indian Country.)

Maybe if the military didn't encourage troops to marry young to escape shitty barracks housing and getting harassed they wouldn't be such unbelievably shitty spouses.

having a penis: men, more employable, women, some effect?

bjsesq wrote:Maybe if the military didn't encourage troops to marry young to escape shitty barracks housing and getting harassed they wouldn't be such unbelievably shitty spouses.

We were both officers, so there were no barracks to escape. There's a pay bump (BAH with dependents) when you're married, but it doesn't apply if both spouses are military.

catinthewall wrote:

bjsesq wrote:Maybe if the military didn't encourage troops to marry young to escape shitty barracks housing and getting harassed they wouldn't be such unbelievably shitty spouses.

We were both officers, so there were no barracks to escape. There's a pay bump (BAH with dependents) when you're married, but it doesn't apply if both spouses are military.

*insert post that attacks you as a person for having a commission*
*insert post that talks about my gigantic penis because i was enlisted*
*insert creepy come on*
*fapcry*

catinthewall wrote: We had met in the military, and he was still in. The military is stuck in the 1950s with how they treat spouses. The wives' clubs are like Stepford. I once got an angry call from Afghanistan because I had pissed the wives' club off so much that they complained to their spouses on deployment. (The reason: I was couldn't join them to go strawberry-picking at 10 am on a Tuesday because I was busy with a murder trial in Indian Country.)

I always had the impression that the military didn't pay well enough -- at least for enlisted -- to create single income households. Anyway, this sounds incredibly terrible and sounds like you made the right choice.

Edit: just noticed you said you were officers.

My wife is a prosecutor, which is her dream job. She moved to a new location for me since I had a job lined up and she didn't yet. I worked every contact to get her interviews. I drove her around the entire state applying to offices and going on interviews until she finally landed the perfect job. I felt so guilty until she got that offer, because I felt that she gave up her career for a time to be with me. It's crazy to me that a man could ask a woman to give it all up permanently and not feel at all guilty.

exitoptions wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

Wow, I had no idea that men still said things like this... Hello 1950s.

To be fair, my wife told me something similar my 2L year. Basically told me if I passed up the 45-50 hour / week job I had lined up for a biglaw job, she'd divorce me. I didn't think it made her unreasonable, considering that if I took the biglaw job, it would have had massive, direct, negative effects on her. So context matters when it comes to the "choose me or your career" thing.

Anonymous User wrote:

exitoptions wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

Wow, I had no idea that men still said things like this... Hello 1950s.

To be fair, my wife told me something similar my 2L year. Basically told me if I passed up the 45-50 hour / week job I had lined up for a biglaw job, she'd divorce me. I didn't think it made her unreasonable, considering that if I took the biglaw job, it would have had massive, direct, negative effects on her. So context matters when it comes to the "choose me or your career" thing.

Which did you choose?

Anonymous User wrote:

exitoptions wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:Women, do NOT try selling your fiancé in San Fran to move markets. You're just reminding firms you're a woman whose career comes second to the whims of some dude.

It's a lose-lose situation for women. I divorced my ex-husband my 2L year when he told me to choose between him and my career, and I'm the bitch.

Wow, I had no idea that men still said things like this... Hello 1950s.

To be fair, my wife told me something similar my 2L year. Basically told me if I passed up the 45-50 hour / week job I had lined up for a biglaw job, she'd divorce me. I didn't think it made her unreasonable, considering that if I took the biglaw job, it would have had massive, direct, negative effects on her. So context matters when it comes to the "choose me or your career" thing.

That's true. To give more context, my ex was a Marine pilot, and his airframe flew out of only one location (in North Carolina). On the other hand, I was winning law school, heading to Main Justice as a SLIP (and eventually landed a federal clerkship and DOJ Honors). We were never going to live together, and I was the one in the position where I could have (more easily) turned my back on my career.

Airwing officer? found your problem

encore1101 wrote:Airwing officer? found your problem

Dude, we met in flight school flying jets. It's a better story than Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise in Top Gun. How many of your couple-friends can say that?

catinthewall wrote:

encore1101 wrote:Airwing officer? found your problem

Dude, we met in flight school flying jets. It's a better story than Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise in Top Gun. How many of your couple-friends can say that?

I guess everyone still married can beat it but yeah still pretty romantic

DELG wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

encore1101 wrote:Airwing officer? found your problem

Dude, we met in flight school flying jets. It's a better story than Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise in Top Gun. How many of your couple-friends can say that?

I guess everyone still married can beat it but yeah still pretty romantic

Nah, I'm including the end because *spoiler alert* I'm all Claire Underwood at the end.

catinthewall wrote:

DELG wrote:

catinthewall wrote:

encore1101 wrote:Airwing officer? found your problem

Dude, we met in flight school flying jets. It's a better story than Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise in Top Gun. How many of your couple-friends can say that?

I guess everyone still married can beat it but yeah still pretty romantic

Nah, I'm including the end because *spoiler alert* I'm all Claire Underwood at the end.

180.

Why would you leave flying jets to be a lawyer