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Possibly one of the biggest fuck-ups ever. I got a 1L summer job at a small firm in the south. The firm is located in the historic district of town, and the building is an old victorian-style house, with porch, and porch swing. The porch swing is now broken because my dumbass decided to give it a go one morning before work - I arrived a couple minutes before anyone else got there, and didn't want to be standing around like a douche. So I ended up standing around like a douche with a broken porch swing in the background when the first staff member arrived.

She tried to make me feel better, but telling me that no one has sat there in six years, clients included, didn't help. By itself, I wouldn't think it was a huge deal but I've bungled up a couple of other things. One morning, I spilled the container full of coffee stirrers onto the floor, and nervously gathered them all up and put them back into the container, not thinking that they should probably be trashed. A secretary pointed that out to me in front of the partner who hired me, who has since the porch-swing incident basically ignored me altogether. There are only a few attorneys in the firm, and I think my my chances of recommendation are growing slim.

Assignments have been non-existent since I broke the porch swing. The coffee cup stirrer thing happened early, like on the third day. I've also refused to answer phones since I've been working there (two weeks), which probably frustrates some of the staff, but I think that is really a problem of having too many people tasked with answering the phones. I have a couple of research assignments I'm still working on that the attorneys never ask about, and I think they are content to just let other staff, including undergrad clerks, give me things to do.

Is there any recovery from this? I have to list the firm on my resume for OCI, right? What should I do for the rest of the summer, just ignore everyone and fuck about?

Why are you refusing to answer the phone?

ETA: And more importantly, I don't know if it can be corrected, but it sure as hell won't correct itself if you just try to be invisible. If you think you're currently in the no-offer column, you've got to do something to get yourself into the offer column, it won't just happen by accepting clerical work from secretaries and undergrads. Be aggressive about getting more work and show your attorneys that despite a rocky start you're not a fuck up, but instead a capable and intelligent person.

It's not really refusing so much as just letting it go to others - undergrad clerks, other staff who share the room I'm in. There are like 6 or 7 people who answer calls on two floors, and it seems better to let others do it since they have a much better idea of what the calls might be in reference to.

Oh, I thought you were letting your office phone ring until your secretary answered or something.

No, the phones are a bit of a weird, and unorganized system. Thanks for the advice - I guess I've just been too embarrassed the past few days. It's also difficult that the attorneys are kind of in and out of the office, so I should probably just pick a time, and go ask for an assignment.

As far as an offer, just a 1L, so not really expecting that, but was hoping they would have good things to say when someone called to ask.

Just suck up to everyone and try to do good work. The summer is still young.

To turn around your experience, I don't think there's much you can do other than work hard and be humble from this point on. If you feel like there's an opportunity, you might want to intimate to someone that you feel like a total ass for the porch and coffee stirrer incidents, but you haven't been sure what to do about it other than put your head down and work. They may not have much interest in hiring you at this point, but as much as you can make them feel like you're just a nervous and lost new kid on the block whose main issue is inexperience and clumsiness--as opposed to just an inconsiderate ass--will probably do good things for you on the off chance that anyone contacts them to ask about you. I would focus on being very polite, humble, and likable from here on out. Specifics as to what to do depend on your circumstances. You might even consider treating one of the staff to lunch or something. Also, you should probably start answering the phone if you think people are paying attention to the fact that you don't.

I feel I should note, though, that at least when it comes to big law it's pretty rare for your prospective employers to contact your 1L summer employer. Very few firms that I interacted with asked for references (maybe 1/18?).

You're just adorable. Focus on the work product and don't stress too much.

Thanks, I think I'll go in next week with a new outlook. I'll try to pick up some phones, even though it seems like people are battling over them. I think previously, because of my screw ups, I was afraid of compounding errors. And I'll ask the cutest staff member out to lunch or something. I plan on working on my most substantive research assignment over the weekend, so I'll turn it in bright and polished monday morning.

Anonymous User wrote:Thanks, I think I'll go in next week with a new outlook. I'll try to pick up some phones, even though it seems like people are battling over them. I think previously, because of my screw ups, I was afraid of compounding errors. And I'll ask the cutest staff member out to lunch or something. I plan on working on my most substantive research assignment over the weekend, so I'll turn it in bright and polished monday morning.

"Take a staff member out to lunch to show your humility, kindness, and politeness"

=/=

"Thanks, I'll ask the hottest one out"

Anonymous User wrote:And I'll ask the cutest staff member out to lunch or something.

This isn't really the best way to turn things around. Ask the most senior, or a (smallish) group of staff to lunch. Asking the most physically attractive one to lunch could just reinforce a bad impression.

Freudian slip there - I mean I think it would be weird to ask some of them out to lunch because they are busy and old. Actually even some of the staff ignore me, too. I get on better with a receptionist [who happens to be the cutest girl in the office].

ETA: There is one other law clerk, I could probably ask him

Why are you taking orders from staff? LOL lil bro, that shouldn't be how it is.

They haven't given you new assignments because you haven't turned in your first ones.

Also it doesn't really matter. Unless you are gunning for an offer, it doesn't really matter. Firms don't check references.

Yeah it's kind of a strange set up - I get on best generally with the undergrads, who are actually really chill, and I feel bad for not doing much other than snooping on lexis and sipping coffee. So I have them show me things. And I trade them law school advice. They're all doomed. Maybe I can save one of them before the summer is over.

What do you guys think of re-painting the porch swing? It seriously needs it, the color is bright-ass white, it's already been fixed (which was basically just re-bolting it to the porch roof). This is a down home firm, I could pick up a bucket of white paint from home depot and knock out the job on a sunday while the rest of the team is at church.

What. You have the EQ of a turtle. Don't do awkward things to try and make up awkward accidents.

I can't believe no one has called troll yet.

I wish I was trolling. My EQ probably isn't the highest, but I don't think it's awkward to make a minor repair to an old house. These are real people who do things themselves. I've seen one of the founding partners strolling around with a crescent wrench in his back pocket, and an undergrad said they re-painted the clerkroom last winter.

This would take like an hour and even I couldn't fuck it up. Picking out the right color is literally a matter of finding the shade of white that is brighter than anyone else's fence/porch posts, etc. on the block.

Anonymous User wrote:I wish I was trolling. My EQ probably isn't the highest, but I don't think it's awkward to make a minor repair to an old house. These are real people who do things themselves. I've seen one of the founding partners strolling around with a crescent wrench in his back pocket, and an undergrad said they re-painted the clerkroom last winter.

This would take like an hour and even I couldn't fuck it up. Picking out the right color is literally a matter of finding the shade of white that is brighter than anyone else's fence/porch posts, etc. on the block.

Just shutup and stop talking. This is the worst troll I have ever seen. WOW.

If you can fuck up sitting on a porch swing, I'm pretty sure you're going to burn the house down or something if you try to paint that swing.

You should totally paint that swing. Only, do it Monday morning before anyone else gets there, so when they arrive they can all see the smoldering remains of the house, with you standing on what used to be the front porch, covered in paint and holding a paint brush.

I logged in at 2:38 AM just to call troll on this. Come on guys.

chem wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Thanks, I think I'll go in next week with a new outlook. I'll try to pick up some phones, even though it seems like people are battling over them. I think previously, because of my screw ups, I was afraid of compounding errors. And I'll ask the cutest staff member out to lunch or something. I plan on working on my most substantive research assignment over the weekend, so I'll turn it in bright and polished monday morning.

"Take a staff member out to lunch to show your humility, kindness, and politeness"

=/=

"Thanks, I'll ask the hottest one out"

OP, would you say you have problems socializing like normal people?

Yeah I just read the rest, troll. Who the fuck paints a porch swing without clearing it with management.

in case this is real...

Unless there was a sign indicating otherwise or told, how the hell were u supposed to know not to sit on a shitty swing.

2nd, while the stirrers should have been thrown away, it's again not like a huge deal.

It sounds like you're making it more awkward than it is. Don't ask the "cute one" out to lunch. The lunch pple are referring to here isn't for a date. As far as asking anyone that actually matters @ the firm out to lunch, wait until your porch swing catastrophe is a bit more in the past and you've started answering phones on a regular basis.

you should totally paint the porch swing. Maybe brighten it up with a new color? spruce up the place a bit, while you're at it

SilverE2 wrote:I logged in at 2:38 AM just to call troll on this. Come on guys.

But, how can he be trolling if he has over 172,000 posts?

THE NUMBERS JUST DON'T ADD UP