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Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:24 pm
by Mce252
THIS IS A TROLL. THANKS ATL
Looking for advice on a tricky situation stemming from OCI. As you all know, the OCI process wrapped up a little bit ago and I was lucky enough to get an offer from a great firm for next summer.
At that firm, I happened to hit it off with one of the girls on the recruiting staff who was mingling with the interviewees during the process. I don't think anyone noticed but we talked quite a bit that week and really hit it off.
I ended up taking her to dinner several times and we've spent a lot of time together since then. Then, earlier this week, we got in a fight that got really bad. I won't describe the details, but, in the end, she shattered the windshield of my car last night and is threatening to make some wild accusations to the firm that I will be working for next summer.
What should I do without making this worse? Talking to her is out of the question. She could be legitimately dangerous and I am already considering involving the police... Any ideas?
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:37 pm
by sparty99
Anonymous User wrote:Looking for advice on a tricky situation stemming from OCI. As you all know, the OCI process wrapped up a little bit ago and I was lucky enough to get an offer from a great firm for next summer.
At that firm, I happened to hit it off with one of the girls on the recruiting staff who was mingling with the interviewees during the process. I don't think anyone noticed but we talked quite a bit that week and really hit it off.
I ended up taking her to dinner several times and we've spent a lot of time together since then. Then, earlier this week, we got in a fight that got really bad. I won't describe the details, but, in the end, she shattered the windshield of my car last night and is threatening to make some wild accusations to the firm that I will be working for next summer.
What should I do without making this worse? Talking to her is out of the question. She could be legitimately dangerous and I am already considering involving the police... Any ideas?
Don't call the police, apologize to her, fix your car. Enjoy your summer at the firm and stay far the hell away from her. AND NEVER DATE SOMEONE FROM THE FIRM AGAIN. YOU IDIOT.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:40 pm
by kalvano
Or, be proactive. Tell HR at the firm and say "just wanted to give you a heads up." And get a police report on the windshield so you have some proof of what's going on.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:45 pm
by Mce252
sparty99 wrote:Anonymous User wrote:Looking for advice on a tricky situation stemming from OCI. As you all know, the OCI process wrapped up a little bit ago and I was lucky enough to get an offer from a great firm for next summer.
At that firm, I happened to hit it off with one of the girls on the recruiting staff who was mingling with the interviewees during the process. I don't think anyone noticed but we talked quite a bit that week and really hit it off.
I ended up taking her to dinner several times and we've spent a lot of time together since then. Then, earlier this week, we got in a fight that got really bad. I won't describe the details, but, in the end, she shattered the windshield of my car last night and is threatening to make some wild accusations to the firm that I will be working for next summer.
What should I do without making this worse? Talking to her is out of the question. She could be legitimately dangerous and I am already considering involving the police... Any ideas?
Don't call the police, apologize to her, fix your car. Enjoy your summer at the firm and stay far the hell away from her. AND NEVER DATE SOMEONE FROM THE FIRM AGAIN. YOU IDIOT.
OP here.
Yeah, I know. It was stupid.
I guess I'm worried about the situation where the apology is unaccepted. She found out that I am conservative on some issues and I expressed my views on some issues, we got into this huge fight, and now she is calling me a Christian fascist. I legitimately believe she needs to refill a prescription. It's crazy.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:46 pm
by Anonymous User
Been through this shit before, well not at work but similar kinds of exes
Have an app on your phone ready to go at the tip of your finger (use a widget on homescreen or similar) in case she she admits to anything damning around you. If/once you get something it will at least give you leverage so she knows to stay away
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:49 pm
by ph14
Anonymous User wrote:Been through this shit before, well not at work but similar kinds of exes
Have an app on your phone ready to go at the tip of your finger (use a widget on homescreen or similar) in case she she admits to anything damning around you. If/once you get something it will at least give you leverage so she knows to stay away
Do not do this.*
*Not legal advice, common sense advice.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:55 pm
by Anonymous User
ph14 wrote:Anonymous User wrote:Been through this shit before, well not at work but similar kinds of exes
Have an app on your phone ready to go at the tip of your finger (use a widget on homescreen or similar) in case she she admits to anything damning around you. If/once you get something it will at least give you leverage so she knows to stay away
Do not do this.*
*Not legal advice, common sense advice.
why? court admissibility/whatever else beside (I have no clue)...... police will listen to that shit if they show up to your house because of some bullshit claim (done it, worked out well). and I can't imagine your boss not hearing it out if she goes to him with some bs trying to get you fired
she may be insane but she probably won't risk her job to try to ruin yours
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:21 pm
by rad lulz
Did she look good nude at least bro
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:36 pm
by Anonymous User
I'd ask career services.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:37 pm
by A. Nony Mouse
kalvano wrote:Or, be proactive. Tell HR at the firm and say "just wanted to give you a heads up." And get a police report on the windshield so you have some proof of what's going on.
Totally agree with this.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:31 pm
by hichvichwoh
so glad i'm a forever alone
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:11 am
by Devlin
Side note. Congrats dude, all the recruiters I encountered were close to 10/10s.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:39 am
by thewaves
How did you having conservative views escalate to her smashing your car?
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 1:05 am
by Anonymous User
Speak to the DIRECTOR of HR. Firms are particular about who they select as summer associates and try to keep them happy. It not a great look for you to date folks at the firm, but they will chop it up to you being a law student. For the woman, she may be fired for lack of ethics or behavior unbecoming for the firm.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:52 am
by Anonymous User
thewaves wrote:How did you having conservative views escalate to her smashing your car?
I'm guessing she realized that she just had consensual sex with a conservative.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:46 am
by jarofsoup
The best answer from an HR prospective would probably be canning both of you. This is what happened when people got involved at my work and it ended badly.
If you can work it out independently that could be best, but this could end badly. Just try not to end up on abovethelaw.
I wish you luck. But this just seems like a real mess. If you file the police report and that is how HR learns of this event, I am guessing HR will fire both of you. Because a partner at a major law firm will probably think this is indicative of your future behavior.(not saying it is but the inferences are bad.)
Good luck man. Be careful. Talk to someone at school like a CDO employee you trust or a professor you are close to. Or your mom or dad. get some real counseling from a friend.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 1:56 pm
by TTRansfer
jarofsoup wrote:The best answer from an HR prospective would probably be canning both of you. This is what happened when people got involved at my work and it ended badly.
If you can work it out independently that could be best, but this could end badly. Just try not to end up on abovethelaw.
I wish you luck. But this just seems like a real mess. If you file the police report and that is how HR learns of this event, I am guessing HR will fire both of you. Because a partner at a major law firm will probably think this is indicative of your future behavior.(not saying it is but the inferences are bad.)
Good luck man. Be careful. Talk to someone at school like a CDO employee you trust or a professor you are close to. Or your mom or dad. get some real counseling from a friend.
This. I actually can't believe the OP actually dated a recruiter for a firm he wanted to work for. Just seems like an all-around terrible idea. The risk of being unemployed should far outweigh the risk of catching something from some strange not related with the law firm. As you said, best of luck to the OP but this is one of the worst situations I've read about in a while.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:22 pm
by WinbyLazy
At the very least, keep the texts/messages where she has threatened to tell the firm..
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:20 pm
by Old Gregg
If firm gets a wiff of this, OP is fucked. That is all.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:35 pm
by brotherdarkness
The best answer from an HR prospective would probably be canning both of you.
If firm gets a wiff of this, OP is fucked. That is all.
Agreed.
Or, be proactive. Tell HR at the firm and say "just wanted to give you a heads up."
This is a terrible idea. You're both easily replaceable, and the firm will very likely can both of you immediately if it finds out.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:56 pm
by 09042014
I think you are sorta fucked if you tell and if you don't.
If you do, you look like an idiot who got involved in a messy relationship. If you don't, she can possibly poison the well.
I'd call and see if you can't come to an understanding, then pray she doesn't start rumors. But know, the minute you sweep this under the rug, you'll probably forfeit any chance the firm will take your side and not hold it against you. The only reason I'd go this way is because the HR piece of ass doesn't have much pull in the firm, at least usually.
Prepare doze clerkship apps for flyover country.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:42 pm
by Bronte
I think posters are overreacting. You've got a mutually assured destruction thing going here. I think when she chills out, she's not not going to be telling the firm shit. I would not go to the police about the car. I would give it some time and then reach out to her with a fig leaf.
When summer comes around, the firm will probably tell you something about its policies on office relationships. At my firm, these are not frowned upon and are not a big deal. The policy is just to disclose the relationship to HR. By that point maybe she'll have cooled enough that you can just casually disclose that you once had a relationship.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:46 am
by 84651846190
sparty99 wrote:AND NEVER DATE SOMEONE FROM THE FIRM AGAIN. YOU IDIOT.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:25 am
by thesealocust
This is a undoubtedly a question for the lounge.
Re: Help with law school recruiter problem
Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 3:44 am
by Old Gregg
Bronte wrote:I think posters are overreacting. You've got a mutually assured destruction thing going here. I think when she chills out, she's not not going to be telling the firm shit. I would not go to the police about the car. I would give it some time and then reach out to her with a fig leaf.
When summer comes around, the firm will probably tell you something about its policies on office relationships. At my firm, these are not frowned upon and are not a big deal. The policy is just to disclose the relationship to HR. By that point maybe she'll have cooled enough that you can just casually disclose that you once had a relationship.
Romances among co-workers aren't the problem. The problem is the spill over and drama. If the firm gets a whiff of the drama, OP is done. I think all in this thread, including the OP, are capable of appreciating that distinction (and of reading our HR policies during orientation).